The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume one: Getting together & Copulating (Percy Jackson style)

Summary: Alisia is an average girl who just wants one thing out of life—to have a sexy vampire boyfriend. When she receives an invitation to a party thrown by one of South Carolinas richest vamps, she doesn't stop to question her luck; she just jumps into her favorite ensemble and heads out to the party of a lifetime, secretly hoping that she'll come home with the ultimate party favor.

But the mysterious undead aren't just pointy toothed hotties waiting to satisfy Alisia's vivid imagination—they are dangerous. With a single-minded focus on fulfilling her own scripted fantasies. Alisia has unwittingly propelled herself into the twisted world of vampire relationships with no one to guide her, because let's be honest the twilight saga doesn't count as a guidebook.

Note from the author: School's out for summer in a few more months... Spring break here I come!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Heroes of Olympus series nor the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series or The Vampire Relationship Guide series. Rick Riordan and Evelyn Lafont. _

Part 4—Going on a date with a Vampire Human.


Chapter 9

Sailing-Saturday (as I had taken to calling it) came around a lot more quickly than I felt ready for, but I was totally excited for my first real date. Since we were going sailing, I decided to wear a dark long sleeve turtleneck dress with black leggings and ankle boots with grips. I would have worn dress pants, but I didn't want them to get soaked through. Since South Carolina weather usually got on the chilly side when near open water I decide to play it safe and find some warmer clothes. I braided my hair up into a fishtail and then pinned it up into a bun. Hopefully this would be enough to stop my hair from getting tangled up whilst sailing. I looked…well shit I looked adorable.

I bought a stylish rain jacket and a water-resistant purse to keep all of my valuables in the day before Saturday. Now I was just waiting for my date…Minos. Giving myself time to think over why I agreed to go on a date with him probably wasn't the best course of action. Now couldn't help but think about all the nightmares I'd had this week. Alisia + sailing, just might = death by drowning. Such scary thoughts!

On my way over to Minos's place I stopped to get gas and picked up some crappy gas station flowers. I don't know what compelled me to purchase them, but I felt like an idiot whenever my eyes caught sight of them in the passenger seat. They were supposed to be fresh carnations, but they looked like someone had taken a blow torch to them. Also why was I the one buying flowers, this usually was the guy's job wasn't it?

When I got to his building I was even more of a nervous wreck. At the part we had been surrounded by people and distractions. There was no pressure and there were certainly no expectations. Plus, I could pretend all I wanted, that I wasn't awkward as hell with guys. Now, it would just be Minos and me and all of my anxiety over getting on a boat—and anything he might have to say about our outing.

Once I passed the scrutiny of the security guard, I mounted the stairs slowly, wiping my sweaty hands off on my handkerchief. I was so glad I packed that thing. I'd never been on a date before, was this how people felt all the time when they went to hook up? I had a newfound respect for the entire dating community. Also, I was totally going to apologise to Sapphire when she called to check on how my date night went. After so many years of me laughing at her nervousness when it came to her and Madison's relationship hijinks she totally deserved and apology.

I reached Minos's door and lifted my hand to know but before I got the chance the door sprung open. I pushed the flowers in front of me and toward Minos almost like they were the perfect physical barrier to prevent unexpected shenanigans. For someone who desperately wanted a hot vampire boyfriend I was acting awfully wimpy. Minos looked shocked and more that a little bit amused to be receiving flowers, and when he took them form me, I realized he was pushing a bouquet of long-stemmed pink roses back in my directions. Score of 1 to Minos all hail flower power, also dear god, I think I might be an idiot.

"Neat, we had the same idea! Their very beautiful, thank you." His bouquet was much prettier than mine, and probably much more expensive. But then, he'd probably never received flowers form a girl before, so he had nothing to really compare it too. Thank god for small mercies, hopefully I wouldn't goof anything else up before the date even officially got in the water.

"A beautiful woman should always be in receipt of flowers. But this is a night of surprises. I've never received flowers from a woman before." Go Alisia, I gave myself a metaphorical pat on the back. "These are lovely, let me put them in some water." He winked at me provocatively as though he knows how ironic he was being.

He walked into the kitchen and bought out two vases, filled them with water, unwrapped the bouquets, cut all the stems at an angle, and placed them both in the vases. I took this time to survey the vampire goods. Minos looked unbelievably hot, despite the creepy vibes I still got from him. His thick dark hair was carefully styled as it had been the night, I met him. He had on a pair of dark-washed jeans that were distressed in all the right places along with a navy-blue button-down shirt that made his vest look like it was holding back pecks of steel. Before I got to lost looking at the abs on display, his voice brought me back to reality.

"When you come up for your nightcap you can retrieve your flowers." He gave me a smirk that sent a decidedly ominous chill down my spine.

"Holding little floral hostages so that you can get a goodnight kiss?" I might have wanted to go curl up in a corner on the inside, but I decided that I shouldn't show my unease on the outside.

He laughed. "Whatever it takes, my lovely, whatever it takes." It was a funny thing to say but I still felt like I was staring Smeagol in face as he advanced upon me to retrieve his precious. Minos finished with the flowers and took my hand. It was a casual handhold, like two people who had been dating for months, it made me feel distinctly uncomfortable. Was this how things were supposed to work, I couldn't help but think as he led me out the door.

When we got to the car, he opened the door for me. He walked around to the driver's side of his silver Lexus and got in as I buckled the seat belt. I was tempted to take a look in the glove compartment but held back I wasn't entirely sure what to do with myself.

"I'm tempted to frisk you down at this moment you know." He stated in a low baritone right next to my ear. My head snapped around when my eyes met his I noticed how uncomfortably close our faces were. "Huh? Why would you want to do something like that, it seems a little nosy?"

"Well besides the obvious benefits," he looked down at me with a leer on his face. "I would just be looking for a stake." Now, I'll be the first to admit it took my brain a bit of time to process his statement. I can also admit that my mouth shot off a response before the words had fully registered. "Why would I have a steak on my person? You're the one taking me out to dinner—but wait, you don't eat steak anyway. Or wait—I have seen vampires eat normal food, so maybe you will eat a steak." Secretly, there was a part of me face palming at this very moment I have got to work on my brain to mouth filter.

He laughed and brought his gaze back up to my face. "No, no, a wooden stake. It's a safety precautions in case you are an anti-vampire zealot."

WTF. He really things I have like, murderous intentions and stuff. "Um, no. I'm hear for the food I swear! Oh, and the company… So it's true then that a wooden stake is the way to kill a vampire?"

He looked at me strangely, which I guess is how I'd look at someone I was going our with that asked, if they could kill me with a piece of wood. "Well used the right way it could certainly kill. Generally, vampires can be killed in much the same way that any person can be killed if the wound is fatal enough."

After an uncomfortable silence we made small talk as he drove. Finally, we reached our 1st location of the night at the Columbia sailing club. As we got out of the car I stared nervously out at the water. The sun was setting and it looked like a vast ocean of darkness waiting to rise up and swallow unsuspecting boaters. As Minos calmly walked to the docks I nervously trotted after him.

As he ascended to the deck of the boat I froze at the edge. "Shit, I don't think I can do this." I muttered quietly. "Is everything alright Alisia?" Minos inquired with a raised brow, as he extended his hand toward me. I closed my eyes took a deep breath and grasped his outstretched hand. Following behind him once again I tried to focus on the boats features and not the inky water on either side of it.

"You seem a bit nervous my dear, is everything alright?" Minos gazed at me as his face turned serious. He seemed to be sincere in his questioning of my well being so I answered honestly. "I've never been on a boat before, and I'm having trouble not freaking out." I was facing him with my arms wrapped around my middle eyes darting nervously over the side of the boat. He turned his body fully towards me and put an arm around my waist gently tugging me along to the helm of the boat. "Shall we stay up here then?" Minos asked as he gently steered the boat away from the pier and out into the black foreboding depts of the lake.

I flinched as the vessel gently swayed back in forth as he drove, this was not what I was expecting. "Your heart rate seems to have picked up a bit my dear. Don't worry I assure you that I am an excellent swimmer, and nothing will happen to you as long as you are in my company. Be calm sweetling everything is fine." He whispered in my ear.

My heart felt like a jackhammer in my chest, and I assure you it wasn't because of the rock-hard body I was pressed up against. What the heck was wrong with this guy! I tell him that I'm freaking out and he decides to drive out into the middle of the lake. I couldn't see the lights from the pier anymore, and that made the water seem more terrifying somehow. Tears started to blur my vision as my breath came in soft pants. I felt the arm around my waist tighten as I struggled to calm down.

"I…I…I don't think I can do this, I'm sorry can we go back to the pier?" with my hand clutched to my chest as my vision blurred even more with my tears. I gazed up into his eyes and flinched back a the smug look in them. "I apologize my dear I thought you were jesting. I did not mean to frighten you." his words sounded sincere but the look in his eyes made him seem darkly amused at my plight. My lungs constricted at his words, as my vision started to darken.

"How cute." his voice whispered as his gaze flicked between my lips and my face. As my consciousness faded, he lightly pressed his lips against mine in a sensuous, silky kiss. "You'll be perfect."


Note from the author: ... I didn't expect this chapter to take such a dark turn. I'm a bit curious about how Minos is going to play his creepiness' off when Alisia wakes up.