I stumped my toe 3 TIMES while trying to write this so basically I risked my life for this so u BETTER ENJOY. Really tho this is a long chapter but my fave chapter :3
It took hours of contemplating and numerous phone calls to Hinata until I had finally decided to show up, outside in the pouring rain of Kuroo's front door. It was now or never. My entire life I had been living a shadow, not doing things out of my own personal interest but instead playing it safe for the fear of being rejected. I wanted Kuroo, I needed Kuroo, and for once I refused to let anything get in the way of my true feelings.
I huffed a sigh before deciding to knock. Hesitantly, I brought my hand up to the wood and tapped my fingernail once against it. Never mind all of the previous attempts at trying to encourage myself- I was anxiously a shaking mess again. I quickly threw my hands down by my side and started debating on whether to run or not. There was still time to escape.
The sound of approaching footsteps caused me to freeze right on the spot. Kuroo appeared at the front door, his face a mixture of confusion, surprise, and worry.
"Kenma! You're soaked!" He cried, pulling the door fully open.
"Yeah, and I'm only getting wetter so let me in!"
Kuroo quickly stepped aside, too overcome with worry to correct me on my attitude.
"Make yourself at home! Sit down anywhere but on the couches, carpet, chairs, cat, tables, television, or floor! I'll run the bath and get you a change of clothes!" Before I could even get a word in, Kuroo had already sprinted his way into another room.
I shivered slightly. My wet clothes clung to every curve of my body, leaving nothing up to the imagination. Suddenly, I began to feel insecure. What the hell was I doing here? It was past midnight, pouring rain, yet here I was showing up at my therapist's apartment, completely unannounced and unprepared. Kuroo was starting to have a weird effect on me.
Before I had time to think into it any further, Kuroo had me engulfed in a giant, fluffy towel. "You're not even going to ask why I'm here?" I questioned, my eyes shifting upwards to meet his.
"All I can think about right now is getting you out of those clothes."
My face lit up crimson.
"I-I mean.. You know what I mean! You'll catch a cold like that.. Your body is soaked and cold and.." Kuroo looked me up and down, before a blush rivaling my own spread across his features.
I fought to contain laughter. Making Kuroo flustered was starting to become one of my favorite hobbies.
"And.. go take your bath! You're making me cold just looking at you," he stammered, still refusing to make eye contact.
"You're not looking at me," I pointed out.
His head was turned away from me, but his embarrassment was still evident by the reddening of his ears.
"Kenma," his voice came out a low warning.
I shivered. "Fine, but I'm only doing it because I'm cold." Out of the corner of my eye I noticed him shoot me a glare, his eyes consumed with darkness and an expression I'd never before seen him wear, and I subconsciously sped up my pace. "I'm going."
I felt his stare boring into my retreating frame, and a chill shot its way up and down my spine. Kuroo was off tonight. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but something had definitely changed in him. And like always, I blamed myself.
I turned around to lock eyes with Kuroo. "I'll be.." I pointed to the bathroom. "You know." I slammed the door shut and slowly slid my way down to the floor. Kuroo had heated floors. I slowly peeled the clothes from my body and threw them in a pile on the tile. Then I laid there for awhile, carefully contemplating my entire existence. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with us?
I was naked on the floor in my therapist's apartment. This was fucking odd.
I picked myself up after about 50 minutes and stepped into the bathtub. The water was still surprisingly warm. I let out a sigh, leaning my head against the side of the tub and closing my eyes.
Within seconds, a knock interrupted my relaxation. "Hey." It was Kuroo. Obviously.
"Are you okay? Just checking on you. You've been in there for about an hour."
I smiled. "Aww, so you do care."
"I just don't want to be left responsible for your body if you die drowning."
"Oh." I frowned. "I'll be out in a few minutes."
"I left some clothes out for you. And.. Kenma?"
I perked up. "Yes?"
"Do I even want to know why you're here?"
After the kiss and him refusing to come to our next counseling session.. "I think you already know, Kuroo."
He didn't say anything after that, so I assumed he had walked away.
I stared at the clothes laid out for me in an annoyed irritation. The outfit was modest, to say the least. I sorted through a pair of sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt, a baggy T-shirt, and a pair of socks with a roll of my eyes before finally coming across a pair of boxers. The underwear was thick and Kuroo-sized, easily able to pass off as shorts on me. I pulled them up over my waist, only to have them slide instantly off and plop onto the bathroom floor. I decided on simply wearing the T-shirt, since it hit right at my knees and covered mostly everything. Kuroo kept his house hot anyway, I had noticed. I looked myself once over in the mirror. One of my biggest insecurities had always been looking too much like a girl, and as I stood staring at the oversized shirt that could pass for a T-shirt dress and my not exactly manly features, those insecurities were immediately brought back to life. One time, when I thought I had friends and could be normal, I was playing would you rather with a group of guys at a party. One guy had looked me over and asked the question, 'would you rather look like Kenma, or die?' Everybody had picked die. I huffed a sigh. Kuroo wasn't like everybody, though. Kuroo would never purposely try and hurt me, even if in the end what he was trying to say was, in fact, hurtful. I imagined that was how he was planning to reject me.
I turned away from the mirror and unlocked the door. I wanted to go ahead and get it over with. "Kuroo?" I called out.
"Kenma." His voice sounded from inside of the kitchen. "I made toast."
"It's past midnight you dumbass."
"But you walked all the way here! You have to be at least a little hung-" He made is way into my line of vision before stopping dead in his tracks. "Are you wearing my shirt.?"
I nodded and then flopped down on his couch, allowing for the shirt to ride up and reveal a little too much skin. "I'm wearing JUST your shirt."
Kuroo stared for awhile before seeming to snap back into reality. He headed quickly into the kitchen. "Uhm, did I already mention I made toast..?"
"Did I already mention you're a dumbass?"
Kuroo began to walk towards me, laughing a little with a plate in his hand. "Did I already mention you're a bully?"
He placed the plate on the coffee table in front of me, and I looked it over. "It's not burnt or black or.. terrible. I'm surprised."
He looked offended. "You'll change your mind when you try it! And when you get addicted to my food and keep wanting more, you're not gonna get any because of that comment."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatevs."
I leaned over to pick up the toast, noticing how Kuroo's eyes wondered up and down my frame as the shift in position caused my shirt to rise even higher up my thigh. I smirked. "How's your girlfriend, Kuroo?" I asked innocently.
He sat down across from me, and everything about this situation felt comfortable and familiar. Maybe we could carry on counseling at the same time every night in his house from now on. It wasn't like I was able to get much sleep anyway with Kuroo always on my mind.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," he sighed, looking extremely distressed. "We broke up a few days ago."
I fought back the urge to scream YAS BITCH and start twerking in his face. Kuroo's moods were contagious, and even though the news was some of the greatest I'd heard in my entire life, it was impossible to feel excitement while he looked so depressed.
"I'm so sorry.. Do you want to talk about it..?"
Kuroo laughed a little bit. "Who's the therapist here again?"
"I did learn from the best." I smiled.
He picked up a piece of the toast. "Toast to that!"
I tried hard to fight back a laugh, and I began to eat my food as well. "So you're okay now?"
"The breakup was mutual, and it was for the best. I need to figure some things out with myself before I can even think about getting into another relationship."
"Did you not love each other anymore?" I knew I was getting too personal, but the words were flowing out like vomit. My mind wasn't processing the boundary I was probably overstepping, and instead my heart was taking complete control.
"She still loved me.." He took a deep breath. "I loved her, but not like that."
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? To help you get your mind off of it, maybe?" I leaned closer to him, my eyes looking upwards into his own. My face reddened as I realized how fucking needy and desperate those statements had come across. It seemed to have the same effect on Kuroo, as his blush was beginning to rival my own.
"Um," he paused. "No! It's fine! I'm fine! Everything's okay now."
For some odd reason.. all of my insecurities and anxiety melted away as I got lost in Kuroo's dark as death orbs, leaving only the feeling of impulse to consume me. I felt a ridiculously obsessive need to know the truth to his feelings, and in discovering that truth I could think of only one possible solution. A hint of a smile caused my lips to quirk upwards.
I wanted to play with him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I joined him on the couch at the opposite end and smiled.
"Now I am.." Kuroo narrowed his eyes at me in suspicion.
"Because you don't look okay," I began crawling closer to him, the shirt I was wearing catching at the arch of my back and covering just enough to leave Kuroo lighting up crimson and shifting positions uncomfortably on the couch.
"You're beet red." I crawled onto his lap innocently and sat face to face with him. "Are you sure you aren't coming down with anything?" I placed a hand against his forehead.
"Kenma you should really get off right now," Kuroo's voice was a low warning, but I shrugged it off by getting even closer.
"Or what ?" I teased him happily.
I could feel him underneath me now, the heat pressing against my naked thigh and knocking the small amount of restraint I had left over out of my mind. Maybe.. Just maybe.. He wanted me, too. That thought alone consumed me, and I grinded myself harder against him, wanting to feel all of him.
He groaned and grasped my hips. "Kenma.. Stop. Or I'll regret it."
"You wanted to know why I was here earlier.. and now you've changed your mind? Kuroo.. I know that I'm a brat sometimes, and I'm really insecure, and I rely on video games too much, and I can't talk to people.. But that's who I am. And for some reason I can only understand that when I'm with you."
Kuroo tightened his hands around my hips, wearing an unreadable expression. "Kenma-"
I wasn't done. "I like you. And I'm sorry for liking you. And I'm also sorry for inconveniencing you so much these last few months, because I know you don't feel the same way and I've just been annoying."
"Kenma!" Kuroo called out harshly, then reached up to cup my cheek with hands that were exactly the opposite. He dragged his thumb underneath my eye, and it was only then that I realized I had been crying. "Who said I didn't like you back?" My eyes widened, and the single tear threatened to turn into an entire waterfall.
"I like you, too." I suddenly realized how close his mouth was. Close enough to where our breath began to mingle into one, and I subconsciously wondered what he tasted like.
I gulped. "Then prove it."
He left no time for discussion and closed the gap between both of our lips. It was my first kiss, and I saw stars. He started off by a gentle brush against my lips, but grew into something that wasn't violent or frantic, but instead could only be described by the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes and the tingling felt at the tips of my toes. Our lips molded perfectly, like we had been created as different pieces from the same puzzle. Kuroo ran his hand through my hair in gentle strokes, and I wrapped my hands around his neck and struggled with trying not to smile too hard. Sensation, want, and need surge through me on a moan that was lost in his mouth.
"It's better," I heard him sigh into the kiss.
I gazed up at him through still-watered eyes. "Better?"
Kuroo nodded, planting a feather-light kiss on top of my forehead. "Kissing you. It's better than I imagined."
*internal screaming deer* ok this was originally gonna get real dirty real quick but I couldn't help myself :'( idk this couple is too beautiful and I feel like it didn't fit the characters for them to hump straight into it
This was my first time writing a scene like this and I feel like I done fucked it up but I hope everyone.. enjoys.. And that it isn't as terrible as I think it is :/