Cathy..

My Lady Catherine.

Has there ever been a name as more beautiful sounding as hers?

No. Why you can give me a book of names, all from beautiful women but, no name can be as precious and beautiful as 'Catherine' or 'Cathy'.

Oh, my Cathy how my heart bleeds for you.

I had my life set up years before I realized I was in love with my Lady Catherine. Like Catherine would say, I was too much of an optimistic person. I already planned how my life story was going to begin and end.

But that was before the day I became a man who loved his sister.

I knew in my heart and mind that I was going to go to a great medical school and receive my M.D. I was going to be a man who makes his Mama proud. I will the type of man who supports his brother and sisters with all the money in the world.

I would spend my years surrounded by people needing help and I would be the greatest doctor they know.

During that time, fate would step in and push me to the right girl.

I would meet her at the coffee shop outside of the hospital.

Or maybe I would meet her at the hospital cafeteria and we would eat the nasty soup and stale sandwiches they have. But, I wouldn't care because she was all that I can see and feel.

One day after spending the day together at that small beach that everyone in town loves, we'll drive back to her home and I would see her tapping her foot to some old county song that I don't know and it'll hit me.

I'm in love with this girl and I'm going to make sure to spend the rest of my life with her.

Then I'll be that corny guy who vows to make the most romantic engagement to her. But, probably ends up asking the most important question in the world while making love.

It wouldn't matter because she will say yes to a dorky guy like me and we will have our happy ending with four beautiful children/

….

I remember when I was a naïve little boy who thought nothing could go wrong in the world. I want to go back to that young boy sometimes but then again I don't.

Because all that is not worth not knowing how my heart, body, and soul can feel with my love for my Lady Catherine.

But, it seems that even as the years went by I was still a naïve, little boy.

For there I made the biggest mistake I will forever regret my whole life. I wanted to be the hero who saved my Cathy in her story. So for me to be the selfless hero in her story I had to let her go.

I let my Cathy go.

Of course it was hard.

It was a rainy night on November and we were living at the house we both share. We were watching some romantic comedy movie together.

I don't remember the movie I just remember looking at her face every time she laughs at something funny and how her beautiful eyes tear up at the sad moments. I remember how her beautiful long hair smelled like strawberries and her small body was wrapped around mine in a comfortable hug.

Then out of nowhere her mouth opened to ask in the sweetest tone, 'Will you marry me?'

She started going on and on about how life is short and how we were meant to be and how we would be a happy family together with as many children as I want.

My heart screamed yes but.. sometimes the things you want doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

This was one of those times.

There were a lot of crying and screaming and hugging and punching all in one heartbreaking night.

A few months pass by and we haven't talked since then.

It was too hard for both of us, so one day she decided to write me a note explaining she's living in some new apartment. But, she was sure to explain to me that it was nearby. She also told me to not look for her and I had to try and respect her wishes.

One morning I woke up in my bed alone, just like any other Friday. I go to work and everything is fine until I feel my soul literally split in half. I felt as if I was about to die of a broken heart because I swear I lost the other half of my body that day.

At 12:24 AM I was at the waiting room observing the papers at the desk, when I heard the people gasping at what was being said on the television.

I turned around to look and listen while everybody in that room was already doing the same things to me..

I heard the news reporter say that the eldest girl of the Dollanganger family died of suicide.

I fell to the floor and yelled the cry I've been hiding deep down in me.

Now here I am 10 years since my other half died.

10 years later and I'm still sitting next to the grave that says Catherine Leigh Dollanganger-Marquet-Sheffield, as I do every day.