A/N: GUYS! I am so sorry this took so long! Writer's block sucks! I had to watch a bunch of Revenge clips and Jemily scenes to get the right kind of inspiration for these events! So please know that I tried to get this as accurate in possibilities as well…possible lol. So on with the "What I wish could have happened" phase. Please read and review and if possible, I reiterate, Jemily fans, We. Need. More. Stories!
I was only saved by my father's infinite love…
It was done…
It was all over…
Everything she trained for and everything she endured for the past 4 years since she chose to take the dark path of retribution, has been completed.
So where's that feeling she was supposed to be experiencing right about now?
Where was the sense of pride and fulfilling happiness that went beyond simple satisfaction for justice finally being served?
What she felt at the moment was nowhere near satisfaction, but was more so a weariness, a sense of uneasiness, and a hint of regret.
Was it regret for what she did to the Grayson dynasty?
They got what they've always deserved, not just for her sake, but for the many other innocents that they tortured and even killed during their iron fisted reign.
So then, what was going on?
Amanda's eyes twitched painfully as they opened slowly and adjusted to the bright lights in her recovery room. She didn't know what shocked her more, the fact that she was alive despite being shot point blank unexpectedly, again, only remembering everything that occurred this time, or the feeling she was having at the moment as she glanced down at her now stitched up chest.
She should be happy.
Victoria was dead which finalized the fall of the Graysons for good.
They all deserved to rot in hell…Well, save for Daniel. She'd mention Charlotte, but she was a Clarke, not a Grayson.
More than that, she was her sister.
Even though Amanda knew good and well that she wished she wasn't after all the pain and torture she put her through. That fact was proved evident when the youngest Clarke tried to kill her.
Speaking of death…that was another thing that confused Amanda.
Shouldn't she be dead by now?
The last thing she remembered was telling her father that she loved him while trying desperately to convince him to not take the rap for Victoria's death and throw what was left of his remaining life away.
Even though he was the one that killed her.
"Dad?! What the hell are you're doing she was mine!"
"Saving your soul! You have no idea what crossing that line means! No matter how justified! It's over."
But was it really over?
Was this really the end of the cycle that plagued Amanda and her loved ones for so long?
It would seem so. Her mission was complete after all. But as with any vicious storm that passes, one must still deal with the aftermath and repercussions thereof, which made her ask herself the golden question…
Where does it go from here?
It was bad enough that after revealing her true identity, she was still adapting to not being in control of whatever life threw at her; not knowing what were in the cards or being able to manipulate the outcome to what she desired; but now, not only did she not know what was next for her, she also was forced to deal with the consequences of the never ending revenge era.
And it was quite a mess.
She cringed just thinking about it…
As far as she knew, nothing was guaranteed anymore. There was no telling what was happening now.
Charlotte still hated her…Not that she could blame her, but still, she felt the pain from such feelings.
She worried for Nolan's safety. Even though she fully believed in her best friend's abilities and potential since he had been her trusty partner in her takedowns for so long, he was dealing with a serious, dangerous killer; an assassin that showed no mercy whatsoever and delighted in killing anyone in cold blood for the sake of a big paycheck.
Just the thought of anything happening to the man she considered to be closer to her than a brother…
She sighed painfully while shaking her head, holding back her emotions and shifting her thoughts.
She thought about her father; how he saved her in more ways than one. She had slipped so far into the darkness of the pain and agony that was caused by Victoria, to where she was willing and eager to forsake the values and promises she made about not taking a life. The buildup was so powerful that once the final straw broke the camel's back, she was out for Victoria's blood; officially not giving a damn about what happened afterwards, about the consequences that would follow, or how it would destroy the good and innocence left in her. She was ready to fulfill the two graves saying to its fullest.
And her father knew it.
Which is why he intervened.
But what now?
Everything was captured on those damn cameras. It was only a matter of time when the authorities as well as the world would know what truly happened, and how it truly ended; meaning that her father was most likely taken into custody; responsible, guilty, and charged with the definite murder of Victoria Grayson.
His days of freedom, or what was left of it, were numbered. Again.
All for his precious daughter's sake.
All because his infinite love saved her just in time.
The thought of her father being arrested, again, with her helpless to do anything about it, again, made Amanda's breathing quicken with distress. He was already dying. That was hard enough to accept! Now, he was going to writhe and waste away in a cold, dark, and desolate cell until his sickness consumed him completely.
She tried to stop the tears that ran down her face.
She refused to feel that state of hopelessness and helplessness that resulted in crying. No. This was the time for her to come up with a plan. This was the time for her to shift into the ingenious and brilliant machine that was Emily Thorne and devise a solution that would save her father and put all of this behind her.
But Emily Thorne no longer existed…
And she could not change what happened…
For the first time in a long while, Amanda Clarke's mind drew a blank.
And she hated it with every fiber of her being.
She wanted to scream in frustration, but the stress she was enduring already intensified the physical pain she felt in her body. She balled her fists, wiping her eyes furiously as tears kept escaping.
She cursed her weakness.
…And speaking of weakness...
"I will find your weak spot…"
"So who's yours?"
"Your weak spot?"
Another thought of a certain someone crossed her mind, which in turn, made her eyes widen in horror.
As if she couldn't feel any worse…
"I had to warn you I…I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you…"
"No…" She whispered, her mind flashing back to the still, almost lifeless form of the man that now and had always held a special and sacred place in her heart.
Her eyes stung once more.
"I guess I'm just scared…This whole mess isn't over yet and I don't know…how it's going to end…"
"No…No-no-please no…" She choked in a whisper as she shook her head, remembering the pleading she made in an effort of clinging on to the last bit of hope that he would heed her cry and make it through.
"Please don't leave me…I need you…"
But she knew better.
She was always trained to expect the unexpected; to assume the worst in order to counteract and assume control. If she were to be optimistic, if she were to hope for the better, then the disappointment would prove fatal in impact.
After all, she knew from experience…
"You're gonna be okay Amanda…Oh no…Oh my go-I'm so sorry!"
She lost so many loved ones…
"Aiden wake up…Aiden wake up! No...No-no-no-no-no-no! AIDEN WAKE UP! NO! NOOOO!"
"I loved him…more than I ever loved anybody…"
More than she could number…
"I want you to know that it wasn't all a lie…Not with you…
More than she ever expected…
"EVERYONE SHE LOVED IS DEAD! THE GRAYSONS KILLED THEM ALL! They left me nothing to go back to Nolan!"
Little by little, loss after loss, it tore her apart…
But she had to make herself strong.
She had to endure.
…But this was Jack…
This was someone who both suffered and endured through multiple losses and pain as much as she had. This was the man that she went through hell and back to protect at all costs even though it broke both of them in the process. This was the man who had been her light and source of happiness since she was a child. And although she had given her heart to Daniel for a time, and completely to Aiden, and vice versa for the real Emily Thorne, he never stopped being in it.
Things were beyond complicated for them to say the least…
But from the time she met him, to when he destroyed her sand castle, to their fake wedding on the beach, to when she left Sammy in his care, to when she was in foster care and juvie, to when she watched him in the distance, to when she reunited with him with a different identity, to when they both endured heartbreak, to when her feelings were tested, to when he tried with all his might to hate her once he learned her secret, to when they gave their hearts to others, to when they rebuilt trust, and to when their feelings finally became clear, she never stopped feeling that way about him when he was around her.
She never stopped loving Jack.
Just the thought of them coming so far, only for it all to end now…After all of her efforts of trying to keep him safe, and vice versa…
Not knowing if he made it through or not, but was prone to expect the inevitable, she assumed the worst.
And that was all it took for Amanda to break down completely.
She allowed the tears to fall freely from her reddened eyes, losing strength, whispering his name in a broken and defeated voice, until she abruptly buried her face into the pillow, wailed his name in agony, and sobbed violently for the loss of her true love on top of everything and everyone else.
Or so she thought…
"For someone who just escaped the hands of death again, I would have thought that maybe you'd be a little happier…"
Amanda quickly whipped her head around to the source of the cold yet soft toned voice.
Her tear stricken eyes widened once more.
"Ch-Charlotte?" She gasped in shock and disbelief.
To Be Continued.