Poirot Cafe's Super Short Story Contest #2: Fight

Check out the forum, its fun. I couldn't add as much detail as I would've liked to since there was a word limit.

Summary: The detectives decide to get revenge after one too many pranks, unknowingly attacking one of the magician's worst fears.

Warning: Language, phobias.


The Kaitou Kid's pranks were notorious for being hilarious and whimsical to the eyes of the audience.

But to his victims, they were utterly humiliating and outright stupid.

That was what the three detectives had agreed on last night. The sailor moon costumes had been bad-what the hell were these skirts suppose to be coverin'?-Hattori had screeched indignantly. However, dropping them off in the middle a stage during an idol's performance was the last straw.

Kuroba even had the nerve to skip into the alleyway where they had been throw out after being attacked by angry fans, and crouch down besides them to snap pictures.

Enough was enough. Kudo had scowled, attempting to wipe eye shadow from his lids. They had taken refuge back at the Kudo manor, brainstorming their next move.

"We've gotta get 'im back fer all this shit." Hattori had muttered, stabbing his cup of ramen.

"Wow, I'm surprised that you were able to reach such a conclusion, Hattori-kun." Hakuba smirked sarcastically.

"Says the guy with the blue tiara on his head."

"Girls you're both beautiful, can we get on with the plan?" Kudo had rubbed his temples.

"Well, what the hell shakes up Kuroba? I've only hung out with the guy like three times." Hattori had leaned back, gulping down the soup with a burp-Hakuba made a face and he ignored it.

"I've only met him like four times too. Hakuba, you know him best. Any ideas?"

The British teen had paused to think.

"Well…. Aoko-kun told me something a while ago…"

They had absorbed the new information, lips curling into mischievous grins as they stayed up planning their revenge.

It was meant to be a silly prank. After all, how bad can fish be?

They sure as hell didn't think it would get so bad.

"Kuroba? Where are ya?" Hattori looked around, dragging his hands down his face with a guilty expression.

"Kuroba-kun? Please, answer us." Hakuba called out into the backyard. He had called the magician in the morning, muttering that the tiara wouldn't come off and begrudgingly 'begged' Kuroba to come over to the Kudo manor to help him out. Kudo and Hattori had been on the ground, muffling their snickers in pillows as he kicked them, mouthing at them to shut up.

The look of shock on Kuroba's face when he walked into the living room was priceless. The three had felt a moment of triumph over the pesky thief, and laughed loudly. It wasn't until they noticed how Kuroba was having trouble breathing did they realize something was off.

Before they could ask what was wrong, the magician had looked up at them, a flurry of emotions plastered across his face-anger, betrayal, fear and panic. He hissed out a 'fuck you' and turned to run.

Kudo said he hadn't left the premise-his security system would've told him. So they resolved to look around the backyard.

"Hey Kid-ow, Kuroba, we didn't know! I'm sorr-ouch!"

Hattori and Hakuba skidded to a stop when they heard Kudo's frustrated yells. They followed his voice and reached the tree near the gate. Kudo was dodging a flurry of miscellaneous items Kuroba was hurling down.

"Leave me alone, you jerks!" The magician was balanced on a branch, glaring down. His hands trembled as he reached into his pockets to pull out more objects. His voice cracked with each faltering insult he yelled down.

"You'll hurt yourself, Kuroba. Get down." Hakuba ran up, dodging a lighter.

"No, they're down there. Th-they'll, they'll-"His chest was heaving up and down rapidly as he turned his head to stare at the mansion. His fingers wrapped around the tree trunk, knuckles white.

"They can't hurt you Kuroba. Calm down, it's okay." Hakuba shook his head, hands in front of him in a calming gesture.

"N-no, t-they they-" He pulled away from the tree trunk. His hands grasping his hair, soft keening noises leaving his lips.

"Kuroba! Hold on to the trunk, don-"Kudo warned, eyes wide in alarm.



"Oh no ya don't!" Hattori roared and lunged forward.

The thief fell from the tree backwards into his arms, causing both to tumble to the ground.

"Motherf-"Hattori groaned under the weight of the other boy.

"Kuroba, Hattori!" Kudo skidded to his knees besides the two, pulling the thief up.

"N-no!" Kuroba slapped his hands again and stumbled back against the tree trunk.

"Kuroba, you're panicking. Take deep breaths, it's going to be okay."

"You guys put fish in front of me. You waved it in my face! What the fuck, Hakuba?" He hissed with a choked gasp, arms wrapped around himself.

"We didn't know ya'd react that badly!" Hattori got up with a grunt.

"It's not funny! You don't know how that felt!" He pressed himself further up against the tree, his back hunched and legs bent.

"You think what you did last night was funny then? It sure as hell wasn't, Kid." Kudo snarled back, making a move to get closer. He stopped when Kuroba flinched.

"I'm sorry!" The magician yelled in a ragged voice. "I...I didn't...damn it…" He sniffed and pressed a hand against his eyes, refusing to show them his pathetic tears.

"It's a phobia, those things are terrifying t-to me. D-don't use it as a joke." He sobbed softly, turning his head. It's humiliating and hurtful.

The three detectives looked at each other silently as he cried. They…felt like dirt bags.

"Hey…" Hattori stepped forwardly and said gently. "I'm sorry, that was an asshole move." He patted the thief's shoulder.

"Yeah, nothing you did warranted an attack on you like that…sorry." Kudo rubbed the back of his neck and put a hand on the magician's other shoulder.

"Sorry, Kuroba. Forgive us." Hakuba sighed and ruffled the teen's hair.

Kuroba sniffed and removed his hands from redden eyes.

"I'm sorry too." He took a shuddered breath. "That was a little too far."

"Yeah…those skirts were way too airy." Hattori agreed and they all laughed softly.

"Well, come on. We can all use some lunch. Let's get back inside. And we'll get rid of the fish first, Kuroba." Kudo added on when he saw a sliver of panic resurface in the thief's eyes.

They rose to their feet, making their way back towards the mansion.

"You do know I'm going to destroy you all next heist right?"

Three groans trailed out of the house before they closed the door.

Reviews are appreciated, thanks for reading.