158Hi guys, hope you like this new story of mine!
As always, I am humbly grateful for your feedback :)
My chest feels tight at the thought of going to college and leaving my family. I know it's no big deal, Eliot is at college too, and they genuinely want the best for me but I can't help it, it's there.
I remember a while back when I opened the letter from UCLA in which they accepted me, their eyes sparkled. I applied just for their sake, without the intention of actually being accepted. That day it was like a knife going through my heart. I never intended to leave them. This is where I belong. With my mother and father. And my sister. My adopted family. I only just got used to them and now I have to leave? Fuck that!
I exhale hard. I still hear my mothers' words, it's time I spread my wings and do something for myself. Don't they know all I ever wanted was a family? Love? And now that I've got that I have to move out? Stay in the dorms with fuck knows who? Being open to assaults again?
And my leaving gift? I didn't even want that! Fuck, why did they think giving me a Porsche would make everything better? It's a fucking car. I don't care about the money. I'm nineteen, I know, but I've missed out on love, parents, people I can trust in my life. Fuck money. I want them. I'm not embarrassed to say how much I love them. They are my life. I owe everything I am to my mother and father. Of course, I won't ever say all this emotional stuff out loud. I'm very much closed off, but it doesn't always work like that.
Shit! I wipe a stray tear from my face and look away. They are both standing in front of me. My mother is crying openly and my father does just like I do. He wipes his tears and clears his throat.
"Oh for God's sake, you're only going to be a short flight away from here."
"It's okay, Carrick. It's okay to love him and not want to let go."
"Mom, please… Dad, I don't have to go. I'd rather be here, with you. What if something happens to you?"
Stop begging, Christian!
"Don't you worry about us, honey." mom interjects. "You've worried enough all your life. We're the ones who should be taking care of you. College is the next step, Christian."
"Son, don't be afraid to embrace life. I know you'll do good."
My father embraces me and the tears keep flowing. Suddenly, it all comes back to me; the day I saw them, the moment they took me in; I remember it like it was yesterday. They loved me from day one, never doubted me for a moment and I know I wasn't an easy person to love. I didn't trust them, I didn't trust anyone. I thought they'd be like the others.
Mia, my little sister, first broke through my wall. Her love set me free, I keep telling her. Not sure she understands, though. She never experienced what I did, and God forbid she ever does. I'd kill anyone for her, I'm not afraid to go to prison.
I feel my mothers' arms around us now and hear the sound of her sobbing.
"I'm going to miss you, Christian. I'm going to miss you so much."
I swallow the lump in my throat before talking.
"Mom, I don't have to go," I pull back and look at them both.
"Grace, we are not making it easy for him." my father clears his throat again. "Let go."
"No, never let go, dad!" I blurt out and embrace him again while I'm now openly crying. "Never let go." I whisper.
"I won't, son. I won't! I'll be here whenever you need me. And if you decide college is not for you, just come back home. Don't think you have to prove something to us. You know we love you no matter what."
I just nod. I can't talk.
Get a grip of yourself, Christian!
I clear my throat a few times and pull back at arms length, looking at them.
"Even if this is our last goodbye, I'll still cherish every second spent with you…" I can't finish the sentence; my wobbly voice deserts me completely. Again, I end up sobbing in their arms.
"Hush now, Christian.." my mom scolds me gently.
We stand like this for a while, loving each other with tears, when we hear Mia yelling my name from the top of the stairs.
"Christian! Christian!"
My little sister runs downstairs and it's a rather awkward moment. We all try to act as if nothing's going on.
"Are you going now?" she stands in front of me, looking at me with her big as marbles, blue eyes.
"Yes I am." I smile.
"Your college is in Los Angeles, right? That's like what, two - three hours on a plane?"
"Yes."
"So why are you all crying?" she looks at us confused.
"You are right." I regard my parents, who are also amazed at my thirteen-year-old sister's observation. "No more crying. Let's do this."
I give Mia a kiss goodbye and cuddle her so tight until she can't breathe. Then I take my bag and go outside. They all follow.
I place my bag on the front seat in my brand new red Porsche and without further delay I get inside. I sniffle and I inhale deeply.
"Mom, dad. I love you. And I'll see you for dinner."
They both smile. I've always loved making them smile.
"Feel free to come anytime with your new friends. I want to meet all of them."
I ignite the car and take off, waving at them. I'm only an hour's drive from home. I know they won't leave me. But I can't say it doesn't hurt. My chest feels tight. With having a real family, that's a feeling I'll never get over.
It's my first day at college; I'm not nervous, or afraid, or anything. I'm just alone. Like I often feel. But this time, with a mother and a father standing proud beside me. And by god, I will not fail them.
Having parked my Porsche in the parking lot, I take my bag and put the long strap across my shoulder. I look around, raking my fingers through my hair, and I head for the building that will be my home for the next three years. Fuck! Three years!
"You little fuck! You think you are cool? Eh?"
I keep walking but I notice in the periphery of my eye a couple of guys pushing someone, shoving him to the ground. I glance casually at them. I make sure I'm always aware of my surroundings, see what's going on. Bullies always get my attention and I'm not afraid to fight back. Dammit! I feel my testosterones working overtime again. I feel them each time the memory comes back.
"Hey, you! Yes you! Get over here!"
I stop. Now they are talking to me.
Breathe through the emotions, Christian! I hear my mother's voice in my head. She's said that to me so many times. My hands clench into fists but my face is blank. I show no fear. Because there isn't any.
"What are you looking at? Get your ass right over here you little piece of shit!"
I drop my bag next to my feet and start walking towards them. It seems that they belong to some fraternity because of the Greek letters on their upper arm. To me, they could be uniformed policeman, I wouldn't give a damn. The guy that's on the ground, a freshman just like me, is punched in his stomach; he can barely breathe. He's convulsing, gasping for air.
I reach them and as I stop, I look at their eyes rather impassively.
"Apologize."
I don't want my voice threatening, I want it calm. Is it calm? Fuck me if I know.
Out of all the emotions out there, they surprise me when they start laughing. Deliberately, I see. They are gathering the crowd.
"Bob, this guy could cut it for our fraternity. He has balls, I tell you."
"Well what are we waiting for? Lets see!"
At the same time they both swing and punch my stomach like it's their punching bag. Unlucky for them, the kickboxing I've been practising for the past eight years, an extremely efficient technique when used in real life situations has helped my stomach become as hard as iron. I flex my stomach muscles and observe.
As expected, in an instance, I see them falling fall down on the ground and holding the wrists of their hands; clearly, they're in pain.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me. I said, apologise."
"God damn, my hand hurts like hell."
"Oh…" the other guy, Bob, moans.
I reach and grab Bob's hair and jerk his head backwards.
"Let me hear it, asshole!"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! We didn't want …I.."
"And you!" I nod at the other guy.
"Gabe, fuck! Apologise!" Bob knows in a few moments he won't have any hair left on his head.
"Sorry man, we were only playing, come on!"
"And to my friend here."
I gesture at the freshman on the ground to get up. He does and stands next to me.
"Friend? He's not your friend…" I tighten the hold and Bob immediately shrieks.
"I'm sorry, Gordon. We didn't know…" Gabe apologises first.
Gordon, my new friend has his eyes trained on the ground and murmurs to himself.
"Whatever. You are both losers."
"Sorry Gordon. We were told…"
"You're all right?" I ask him.
He nods, avoiding my stare.
"Get the fuck out of my sight, you dickheads!" I finally release Bob's hair.
We stand there, watching Bob and Gabe leave, and the crowd dispersing and I notice a guy in the distance looking at us. He nods and he takes off too.
"Who's he?" I ask Gordon.
"My brother."
"Your brother? And he didn't come to help you?"
"I asked him not to. I don't need his help."
I don't understand; he has a brother and yet, he doesn't want his help. Funny how people take everything for granted. I'd kill someone for Eliot.
"Christian Grey." I offer my hand.
"Gordon Cosway. And for the record, I didn't need any help." he takes my hand and clenches it tight.
"Nobody said you did."
"Good. Because I didn't."
I shake my head to myself at his arrogance and walk over to where I left my bag and pick it up, placing the strap over my shoulder yet again. He is unbelievable.
"I don't have all day, Christian."
I turn around and see Gordon with two large bags in his hands; he's waiting for me to join him.
"How did you do that, by the way?"
"Do what?"
"What do you have in there? Some sort of metal protection?" Gordon reaches towards my abs as I speedily jerk away from his touch; the last thing I need is to be touched by another man in front of all these girls.
"Get your hands away man, I've nothing in here." I lift my t-shirt and show him my abs. Yup. I am proud of my body. These babies have been the main attraction in high school. "It's all me, Gordon."
"Oh wow man, how long did it take you to get them?"
"Long time, and lots of hard work."
"Wait until the girls hear about you, you'll have them queuing up in no time."
"I know Gordon. I know." I smirk confidently.
"So where are you staying? What building?"
"Delta Terrace building. B6," I open the letter from my back pocked with one hand and read, "104A."
"No kidding! I'm there too!" Gordon looks at his letter closely. "B6, 104B!"
"Cool. I can keep an eye on you if you get in any more trouble."
He scoffs at my joke but before saying anything, his brother shows up in front of us.
"Who's your friend, Gordon?"
"Christian Grey." I offer my hand while Gordon rolls his eyes and continues walking. "You are his brother?"
"Yes. I owe you one, Christian. For saving my baby brother earlier."
"Naah, I'd done the same for anyone else. I just dislike bullies."
"Well, all I can tell you is watch your back. Those guys will come around again. They don't forget that easy."
"Thanks. It's good to know." I stop only for a moment to observe him; his confidence is enviable. "Is this your last year?"
"Can you tell?" he smirks.
I grin and follow Gordon.
"See you around…erm.."
"Kenny." he smiles and follows us with his eyes.
Delta Terrace building seems modern, I'd say up to my standards. And I think I have the room to myself, which ideally will suit me perfectly. Nobody has come today. Let's hope nobody will show up tomorrow, too.
After my shower my stomach starts rumbling, I know it's time for me to get something to eat and so I decide to head for one of the campus restaurants, The Rieber Hall Residential. Apparently their food is the best. I knock on Gordon's door but there's no reply so I head there myself. This is not as bad as I thought it would be. There are enough distractions around. And the girls, fuck me, there were few I'll probably jerk off later on.
I take time to look at the map of the campus in hope to remember it. I refuse to look like a freshman, lost amongst the buildings with a map in my hands. I like to be in control but dammit, this may take me a few days. After a few minutes, when I think I have the right information in my head for where the restaurant is, I head downstairs.
Outside the Delta Terrace there are clusters of people standing and talking to each other. It's dinnertime, nearly eight o'clock; it appears that everyone has made friends by now. I know I'm not the friendliest guy around, but I'll be damn if I talk to everyone like I'm a normal person. Nothing about me is normal. The place I come from, the things I've been through, none of these people have idea what it's like to be living my life.
I think it was my looks that helped me break into society. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered. What can I say, girls love me. I only hope they put out more in college. High school was tiring from that aspect. I worked really hard and even then, I'd get to second base with them. These days I feel my dick is taking over; I jerk off twice, three times a day. I'm not sure if this is normal, but dammit, it's good. And these girls, if they keep smiling at me, of course I'll fuck them senselessly in my head!
I aim my killer smirk at the two girls who are now ogling my body as I turn around the corner, toward the restaurant. My smirk remains on my face, this place is getting better by the hour.
A vibrating text message gets my attention and I stop, pulling my cell from my jeans.
"Hope you've settled in all right. Call us if you need anything. I love you. Mom. P.S. Mia sends her love."
I reply instantly.
"Everything is cool, don't worry. I love you all."
As I place my cell back in my front pocket of the jeans my eyes meet one of the girls that smiled at me a second ago.
Did she just blow me a kiss?
I don't want to be a jerk and look behind me. What if she blew her kiss to someone else? Then I'll be a stupid fool. Ignore her, Christian! My mind keeps talking; these girls seem older, definitely not a freshman material. What if they are trying to play me?
I give her a half a smile, in one of my 'I'm talking to myself and smiling' kind of moment, and then I leisurely stroll towards the restaurant. I will have to learn how the chicks in here communicate. I fucking must.
Once inside the restaurant I am distracted by the smell of the food. I really am hungry; my stomach starts rumbling again. I barely ate anything all day.
"Christian! Hey Christian! Over here!" I look around but I can't see anyone I know. I turn my back on the crowd and go in search for my own place when I hear the voice again. Now I recognise it. It belongs to Kenny, Gordon's brother.
"Where are you, man?" I yell.
"Over here." I see Kenny's hand waving from behind the large green leaves.
With a tray full of food I walk around the plant to get to him; he is sitting in a booth with another dude and two girls. I approach and see them scooting over, making space for me.
"Everyone, this is Christian." Kenny has a sly smirk on his face.
"Hi Christian. We've heard so much about you." The girl with the long blond hair flashes her brilliant white smile at me.
"You couldn't have. I only just arrived today." Play it cool Christian. You are sitting with the last year graduates on your first day. This may turn out to be better than you thought.
"Oh, but we did. Kenny told us about you standing up to the Kappa Phi."
"Kappa Phi?"
"The other fraternity, our arch enemy."
"I see. Yeah, I did."
"Jenna, the freshman here deserves some sort of reward for it, don't you think?" Kenny asks the blonde.
"I guess," she smiles coyly, "whatever is needed, I'll do. I am a true Sigma Epsilon Delta girl Kenny and you know I can prove it to you anyway you want."
"Brianna, what do you say? Are you ready to give Peter here a head to secure a place in the fraternity?" Kenny turns to the other girl as the guy sitting next to him grins salaciously.
"I know all this could be one of your bluffs but you know what Ken, I'll take it. I want in no matter what."
"Good. That's good." Kenny leans back in the boot and opens his arms, placing them on the lounger behind me and the other guy, Peter. After a few moments silence, and with a serious face, he nods.
"Do it."
Brianna crooks her eyebrows and Jenna grins as if she was waiting for this order. What is she going to do? Kenny told her to give me some kind of reward. Peter is getting a head. Am I getting a head? Fuck!
"Are you serious?" Brianna is still in shock.
Kenny nods.
"You heard the man." Peter hurriedly unbuckles his belt.
What the fuck? Am I dreaming?
"Would you mind, Christian? We need to see how skilful Jenna and Brianna are. We don't just accept anyone in Sigma Epsilon Delta."
Be cool Christian!
I lean back, opening my legs slightly.
"Game on."
Satisfied with my response, Kenny smirks. He looks at the girls and nods again.
"Ladies, your membership is waiting."
Oh my fucking god! Am I…am I dreaming?
Jenna and Brianna both go under the table giggling; lucky for them the tablecloth is touching the ground, it's massive. The next thing I feel is Jenna's hands on my crotch, unbuttoning my jeans. Fuck me! In a laid back fashion and completely under control, I glance at Peter. He has his eyes closed and is stifling his moans. Kenny is rubbing himself under the desk, watching the show and I …I'm being given a head under the table on the first day at college by a blonde beauty without…ah, without a gag reflex. Oh yes. I make an eye contact with Jenna and smile at her while placing my hand on the back of her head.
"You want in?"
She nods with a mouthful of cock.
"You take me deeper, baby. All the way." I push her on to my cock to the end, and when I feel the back of her throat I stop. "There. Now you do it."
Fuck! I needed this all day!