xX Talking Body Xx

xX Chapter 24: Ain't Shit Xx

When Igneel left, it was a sad time.

Lucy gently pat her tears, adjusting the parasol over her shoulder. Natsu grumbled and griped as he shoved his father's bags in the trunk of the car. Why Igneel couldn't do it his damn self will forever remain a mystery. The older man was currently wrapping his girlfriend into a hug that Natsu was sure was supposed to make him jealous.

Jokes on him, Natsu didn't get jealous.

"Oh Igneel! I don't know what I'll do without you!" Lucy cried.

Nope. Not jealous. Never jealous.

"It's okay, Lucy. I won't be gone long, but my wife does miss me sometimes and I have to humor her." Igneel grabbed her hand and brought it towards her face. Were those sparkles falling around them?


"Shhh." The older man put his palm fully on her face, and Lucy choked back a laugh. "I will come back. I always come back for those I care for."

"So why did it take you a whole year to come visit me again?" Natsu asked.

"Look, time doesn't matter, son. At least I came back, right?"

"Yeah, Natsu. Stop giving your dad such a hard time. He's doing his best, and he doesn't need you giving him all the attitude."

Who says he gets jealous? Fuck them.

Dramatics aside, Natsu was genuinely upset to see his father go. He knew the business needed running, and Reika was a needy wife even though she tried to play it off sometimes. But as stated before, it had been a year and some change since he had last seen the man. Having him drop by had been a pleasant surprise.

The stripper shut the trunk with more force than necessary (wasn't his car so he didn't give too much of a shit) and made his way over to the pair. He slapped the man on shoulder, a sign of manly man-ness that he seemed to have lost since dating Lucy and gave him a few shakes. "Try not to wait so long to visit again, old man. My doors are always open to you."

"They better be. I have the key."

"Lucy, remind me to change the locks."

"Lucy, remind me to pick them."

"You won't have to. Natsu'll give me a spare key and I'll slip it under the doormat for you," Lucy chimed with a wink. Igneel grinned while Natsu glared playfully.

"If only I were a few years younger, I might just ask for your hand," Igneel said.

"You're never welcome in this household again. I'll send my alligator after you if I find you anywhere near this property."

"But Natsu," Lucy started, "you don't have an alligator. You have thirty potted plants and a teacup chihuahua with half of his teeth missing."

"That damn dog is just as ugly as an alligator-"

"If I ever catch you three hundred miles near my home, I'm blowing up the neighborhood."

Lucy and Igneel laughed at the threat. Why they were laughing, Natsu didn't know. He was being completely serious.

"In all seriousness," Igneel began, walking over to his son. Natsu straightened and looked his father in the eye. He could see the man was trying not to be emotional, and Natsu himself was doing the same. He hated goodbyes. And even though this wasn't a goodbye, he knew it would be a while yet before he saw his father again. Time always seemed to slip past them, what with Natsu working two jobs, and Igneel running a whole business.

The older man clasped his sons hand in a firm grip, giving a it a pump. "Don't be a stranger. My phone is always on. I'll be waiting for a call." Natsu nodded and pulled Igneel into a hug. "I love you son."

"Love you too, Pops."

"And Lucy, you are always welcome to call me as well. It was a pleasure meeting you, and please treat my son right. He might not have much going for him, but he's a good man. I made sure of it."

Lucy smiled and gave the older man a farewell hug. "A pleasure meeting you as well. I'll take care of Natsu while you're gone. Mavis knows he can't take care of himself."


Igneel laughed as he stepped into the car and started it. Natsu moved to stand by Lucy, slinging an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. She responded by placing a hand on his stomach with a smile. Igneel pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture before backing out of the driveway. "The next time I see you two, I expect to see a ring on her finger boy!" He yelled as he drove away.

Lucy blushed, but waved anyway, the two watching as the car got further and further away until he hit a corner and was no longer in their view.

They sat in silence for a moment until Natsu opened his fat trap-

"Wanna have sex now?"

After Lucy had left for day (rejecting his advances because she said some shit about needing to get back home to make sure Juvia wasn't swimming in the bathtub again) Natsu took to opportunity to water the excessive amount of plants in his home.

His father's visit could've gone much worse. The old man was surprising tame this time around, and for that Natsu was grateful. He and Lucy got along well enough while he was there, and it seemed like they wouldn't be opposed to seeing each other again. Which was a good sign because Natsu was planning on having her around for a while and he couldn't exactly get rid of his own father.

Natsu moved towards the bathroom where more of his plants sat, refilling the cup he held with water along the way. Out of all his relationships (the whopping two) the one he had with Lucy had to be the most…refreshing.

What he had with Juvia was great, don't get him wrong, but it felt…forced at times. They were polar opposites. She was calm and collected, frigid at times, not too clingy and affectionate. She was emotional when prodded, and quiet all other times. It made it hard to interact with her when he was so loud, so full of energy all the damn time, expressive and very very clingy.

But sometimes that just…worked. What she didn't show outwardly, he was right there complaining about it on her behalf. When she didn't have the energy to express her excitement at something, he was there to let the people know. He was her emotion when she didn't like showing it, and he was her rock when she was showing it too much.

When he was with Anna, it was also great. Anna was just as loud as him, just as hyper as him, just as crazy as him. But she was too crazy, too much fire in one body. He could keep up, but there were times when Natsu felt drained after dealing with her. She couldn't keep her voice quiet, couldn't keep her emotions in control, and blew up at the wrong things at the wrong time. Often times she wouldn't understand that she had just insulted somebody with her words or her actions, and he would be forced to fight on her behalf. Natsu loved to fight, but not when it was because someone else was telling him to.

And he supposed that was the reason they broke up. Because he fought too much for her, against her, but never with her. She would look at someone wrong, they would confront her, she would look at him with eyes that said "handle it" and he would. He felt like her guard dog, her bodyguard, and not like her boyfriend. He felt like someone she could control and Natsu was goddamn un-tamable.

The sex was fantastic, but that was not enough to keep him there.

With Lucy…Mavis with Lucy it was just so…natural. So easy. She would match his energy, calm him down when he was being too much, hype him up when he was being goofy. She was polite in public, affectionate, just a little bit clingy, just a little bit toxic and he fucking ate that shit up. Lucy had him wrapped around her pretty little finger and it was annoying, but he was so into it.

Natsu was a simp for her. Not that he would show it, but he was a simp.

Moving to the potted plants in his bedroom, Natsu couldn't help but look at his bed. He had replaced it after he broke up with Anna, and again after Juvia. This mattress was imprinted with memories and fantasies of Lucy. Lucy sleeping, Lucy reading, Lucy scratching, Lucy laughing.

Lucy eating…

Lucy smiling…

Lucy sucking his…

That hadn't happened, but hopefully soon.

The doorbell rang and Natsu craned his neck in that direction, wondering who in Mavis' name would be visiting at this hour. He looked at his clock. It was only seven.

An ungodly hour to be out at night.

It rang again. "I'm coming goddammit," he muttered to himself.

When he looked through the peephole, he was slightly surprised, but not at all displeased to see the woman he was just thinking about standing on the other side. She held a duffle bag in one hand, and her keys in the other. He opened the door immediately. "What are you doing here?"

"Robbing you. Give me your money," Lucy joked.

"Don't have any. I'm flat broke. I actually don't own this house."

"Well give me whatever you do have?"

"I got a dog."

Said dog came waddling into the living room. Lucy scrunched her nose.

"Nevermind. You clearly don't have taste."


A cute little giggle. Natsu smiled. Fuck this woman drove him crazy.

"I don't think a robber would ring the doorbell if they were actually trying to commit a crime," Natsu pointed out.

"Never let anyone know your next move."

He stepped aside and Lucy breezed past him, removing her shoes. She was dressed differently than usual. More…relaxed. Whenever she stopped by, she was always wearing a skirt or shorts, and a tight shirt, maybe a jacket if she was feeling particularly adventurous. This time she was wearing a comfortable sweatsuit. Very baggy, hiding her figure, which Natsu decided he didn't like immediately.

He liked her body, and she was his girlfriend. He deserved to see some skin dammit.

"Why are you dressed so fancy today?" He asked, grabbing the duffle from her other hand and taking it to the living room.

Lucy gave him a wry grin. "I was feeling particularly fancy tonight. Put on my most expensive outfit."


She smiled at him as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, giving him a kiss that almost took his breath away but didn't because she didn't give him any tongue. The devil. He slapped her ass as a punishment.

"See as I was driving home, I realized we've had a few monumental moments. You've been to my job, I've been to your job. You've met my friends, I've met your friends. You've met my parents, I've met your smoking hot, extremely charming, panty dropping dad-"

"Take your shit and leave."

Lucy laughed and rubbed his shoulders, making no move to go. As if he would let her. She was trapped in the cage of his arms.

"-and I was thiiiinking…with all these monumental moments, we could have another one."

"And what were you thinking, you sexy vixen you."

Lucy crooked her mouth in a way that Natsu just couldn't help but growl at. So mischievous, like she was up to no good and Natsu was always down to cause trouble. His hand slid up the inside of her sweatshirt to graze the side of her breast-

"Don't you dare touch Lucy like that!"

What. The. Fuck?

He ripped his eyes away from Lucy's to face the door, seeing Erza walk in with a sword – why did she have a fucking sword? – in hand. Behind her, was Levy. And Gajeel. And Gray. And Juvia (who looked on the verge of passing out being so close to Gray Fullbuster). And some other blue-haired man that Natsu had never met a day in his life.

All these people in his house.


"A sleepover!"

Natsu balked and faced her. She was smiling in earnest now as everyone trailed in, bringing various blankets, snacks and pillows.

"I didn't picture your house to be so…welcoming," Levy commented sweetly, staring at the pictures above the fireplace. She didn't even reach the top of it, so it was wonder how she could even see them. "I honestly pictured it to be on fire or something."

"I can make that happen," Gajeel started, moving towards his dear plants with a lighter. Erza stopped him with the sword to his throat.

"We are guests in Natsu's home. It would be nice if you didn't destroy it," she said.

"And it would be nice if you didn't have a sword, but we all can't get what we want," Gray muttered.


"Please don't yell in my ear, Juvia," the model said, wincing at the volume.


Everybody sighed as Juvia foamed at the mouth, clinging to Gray arms with such strength it rivaled Elfman – some famous bodybuilder or something.

"Whatever Gray-sama needs, Juvia will get. Whatever Gray-sama wants, Juvia will offer!" The water woman slipped the strap of her tank top off her shoulder, looking up at Gray with the most sensual eyes that Natsu had never seen before, even when they were together. "Even if it is h-her body."

Gray paled and looked at Natsu, but he was already dragging Lucy into his bedroom, slamming it shut behind them.

He rounded on her, and he made sure to look upset because he was. They hadn't talked about this. Nobody was allowed in his home without a warning, without being uninvited. And now he had six unwanted guests causing havoc in his living room after he had just taken care of those plants!

Of course he was mad.

Lucy at least had the sense to look ashamed, fiddling with her sweatshirt nervously.

"They wanted to meet you…" she said quietly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and looking at the floor. Fucking adorable, but not enough to quell his anger.

"They know me already!"

"Jellal doesn't."

"Who the friggity-freak is Jellal?!"

"He's the blue-haired dude."

"To be honest Lucy, I don't give a fuck who he is. I want to know why there's six people I didn't invite in my house right now."


Natsu suddenly got confused. "Huh?"

"There's seven people, myself included."

"You're different. You're my girlfriend."

"I still didn't let you know I was coming. I let myself in-"

"I don't care if it's you."

"But they're your friends!"

"Friends that give me a heads up when they coming over!"

He could see that Lucy was started to get frustrated, and it was turning him on. He had to stay focused. Anger first, really hot girl second.


"If I had told you what I planned, you would've said no!"

"Because it's late and I just watered my plants!"

"Who cares about your plants?!"

"I do!"

Lucy huffed and moved towards the door. Natsu blocked her and she stared at him with such a fire in her that he couldn't help but drop a quick, but passionate kiss to her lips. No tongue because it was a punishment. If anything, it made her more upset.

"Really? No tongue?"

"I'm mad at you right now."

She deflated a little at that, looking at the floor again. Natsu grabbed her chin to make her look at him. She deflated even more.

He didn't like seeing Lucy upset, but even he had his limits. His home was his own. Everybody gave at least a thirty second notice before they were at his door. He had to work the next day and was hoping to relax a little bit before having to entertain horny women. He was even about to clock into Pillow Talk for a couple hours to make a few extra bucks.

"I'm sorry."

Natsu looked at her, really looked at her this time. Her eyes were shining, like she was about to cry, but refused to even let the tears form. She scrunched her chin to keep her lip from quivering and Natsu had to keep himself from kissing her to make her feel better.

Damn woman.

"I was thinking about coming over to spend the night finally while I was driving home. I started packing a bag and Erza walked in and asked me where I was going. I told her I was going to spend the night here and she asked if this is where I'd been all week. I said yes and I told her I had met your dad. She made a comment about never meeting him before and asked why I had. I told her we started dating and she wanted to see how you treated me to make sure you weren't "being a pervert". Levy overheard and offered the idea of a sleepover. Erza agreed, started packing her bag, while Levy texted Gajeel."

"Still doesn't explain how Juvia, Gray, Gajeel and Geralt ended up here."

"Gajeel didn't want Levy to spend the night at another man's house, especially yours because you and Gajeel have some type of unresolved sexual tension-"

"We do NOT-"

"And Erza told Gray he should stop by and say hello. Juvia heard her on the phone and demanded to be included because it was "Gray-sama" and Jellal just kind of…tagged along. He's very awkward."

Natsu hadn't even said a word to the man yet, but it was painfully evident in the thirty seconds he saw the guy.

"I tried to tell them some other time, but Levy said to think of it as like a quadruple date. It sounded cute in my head but now…"

There was a crash from the other room. Happy started barking and they both heard Juvia screaming "Gray-sama!" Lucy sighed.

"We can leave if you want."

Natsu wanted them to leave. Everybody but Lucy had to go.

But as he looked down at her, he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. It was chaotic, it would be loud, he would have to replace his dishes later on which would take a fat chunk out of his check. But he couldn't bring himself to say no.

When Lucy walked in, she looked so happy to have them all together, so excited to just be around everyone. She even dressed comfortably for the occasion with her fuzzy socks. She had packed a bag and everything. Natsu was dense, but even he could tell that she was looking forward to the evening.

He could get sleep during the day. He made his own schedule with Pillow Talk. The plants had been taken care of already. All he really needed to do was take Happy for a walk.


Lucy perked up immediately.

"They can stay, but I want everyone out early in the morning. I have to work tomorrow. But I want you to stay because the idea of waking up next you sounds a little too good to pass up."

Lucy smiled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning her head against his chest. "It does."

"But if they break any of my plants, I'm suing."

1. The title of this chapter is purely describing me.

2. I feel...there's a certain weight in my chest right now. A nervousness in my balls as I come back to post. I don't know what it is. Maybe I just gotta shit. Does...anyone still care about this story? Hello? *her voice fades with an echo, a tumbleweed floating through the desert* Guess not.

3. I'm just gonna apologize, because its been...like 5-6 years? Oh god. I'm just gonna say a LOT has happened to me. I grew up for one, old as dust. Traveled. Joined the fucking military. Traveled. Found love (with a fluffy hair gamer boy of course. Bi girls can't resist them). Finished college. And traveled. I've seen so much y'all, I almost forgot about this story. I DID forget about this story.

4. But I missed writing. It was such a big part of my life, especially this fic. I would check my emails, see I got a review, read it, attempt to write again, only to get anxiety about my writing and how it's been so long, just to close the laptop and give up. And it happened over and over and over again. a vicious cycle.

5. I remember note 5 being about the chapter. So forgive me if this isn't good or written how it used to be. I gotta get back in the groove. Specifically the emperors new one. I know there isn't much going on, but next chapter I will try my fucking hardest to bring you guys quality content. You deserve that much.

6. Also a lemon. Because sex. I'm ready to write sex. It's long overdue.

7. I've also become a lover of dad jokes. So allow me to bless you with one. Ahem. How much does a chimney cost?

8. Nothing. It's on tHE HOUSE.

9. You can't see me but I'm dying of laughter rn. Also I don't own FT. Even after all these years. You would think Mashima would've caved into my advances. Alas, he is still not mine. Muse is slowly coming around again though.