Author's Note: Hey guys! To all those who are currently reading the Official Rule Book and/or the Last Jedi, I am currently working on Isengard for the Official Rule Book and The Last Jedi I am currently editing before I move forward with new chapters.
As for this, I saw this prompt on Tumblr and I thought it was absolutely adorable :)
I hope you all like it!
Winry was used to surprises. With a husband like Edward Elric it was hard not to expect them! Seriously though; considering Ed always managed to find trouble wherever he went, Winry had begun to expect that Ed was going to do something out of the ordinary or completely idiotic. It was in his nature. He was even more immature than his kids. And they weren't even five yet.
And yet, Ed still found ways to surprise her. Before Edward kindly demonstrated it to her, she had no idea her automail could be broken in half trying to bend the iron bars of jail cell.
Ed paid dearly for that little incident.
That being said, when she heard her children and husband screaming in the living room the last thing she expected to see was Mr. Edward Elric crouched on the arm of the lounge chair giving the floor a death glare.
Why did he look like he was trying to burn a hole through it?
He had a look of utter concentration on his face as he braced his hands on the chair and slowly extended his left foot out towards the back of the couch. The tip of it just reached the back of the couch.
But apparently, that was enough for Ed. He began to move his weight forward and attempted to stand up a bit so he could climb across.
The chair slid back a few centimeters, leaving Ed precariously suspended in between the furniture in what looked like an extremely painful split.
Her son was currently sitting on the couch holding Ed's foot using all his three year old might to keep it resting there.
Her daughter, however, was practically strangling her husband. Her little arms were wrapped around his neck in a tight hold as she screamed at him not to fall.
What was going on here?
She watched as Ed's foot slipped further, little Sara screaming even louder when she felt her father shift underneath her. A look of utter determination appeared on his face as he pried Sara off himself and…practically tossed their two year old onto the couch?!
That was the last straw.
Not only was he ruining their furniture, he was throwing HER daughter around!
Why did she ever marry this alchemist freak?
Anyways, previously she had been making stew for dinner. One of Ed's favorite meals.
At the moment, she kind of wanted to pour the hot stuff right on his head. Pot and all.
More importantly, she still had a wooden spoon in her hand that she had been using to stir. Not her weapon of choice but it would do.
The spoon quickly found its target in her idiotic husband's forehead.
"What on earth do you think you're doing Edward? Are you trying to ruin our furniture?!"
Ed's arms flew every which was as he struggled to keep his balance. A very hard thing to do considering he just got a wooden spoon to the head.
He groaned audibly as his foot slipped even further down stretching his legs into an even more awkward and painful position.
In a burst of insanity he pushed off the chair with his left foot. The force toppling the chair and sending him flying towards the couch, where he landed in a mess of cushions on the opposite side.
"Daddy made it!"
Ed's frazzled face appeared above the back of the couch, a smirk adorning his face. "Yeah Daddy did Sara, 'cause you're Daddy's just that awesome!"
When he turned back to Winry though his face was far from happy. "But what the hell Winry? You almost made me fall!"
Within seconds a nearby book nearly broke every bone in Ed's face.
"Don't you dare curse in front of the kids you idiot!"
Sara laughed delightedly. "Look big bruther!" She pointed at her incapacitated father and poked the growing lump on his head, making him twitch in pain, "Daddy in twouble again!"
"Owwww!" Ed groaned, his head popping up once again. "Come on Winry, are you trying to kill me?!"
"At the moment yes!" she fumed, "What were you trying to do? Besides destroy our furniture?!" She eyed the overturned chair with obvious annoyance.
Ed grimaced, "Yeah….about that…."
He screamed as another book came flying at his head, diving behind the safety of the couch again.
"Come on!" He mumbled from his safe haven, "Don't use my books as missiles! They could get damaged!"
"And you won't break the chair by treating it like a jungle gym?" Winry glowered, "Hmm? What were you thinking?!"
"Well?!" Winry yelled.
Ben's little face appeared above the couch a little grin splitting his face. "The floor is lava Mommy!" he said in glee, "Daddy would've burned up if he fell!"
Winry's arm fell to her side. She had been perfectly ready and willing to beam that weirdo with another book that he'd left lying about, Xingese Alkahestry for Dummies. Al had brought it with him the last time he and Mei had visited.
And it just happened to be one of the largest and heaviest tomes in the house.
She felt a little disappointed she didn't get to nail Ed with it. It probably would've hurt a lot.
"What was that?" she asked.
"The floor is lava!" Ben told her again, "You can't step on it! It'll burn you up! You have to stay on chairs!"
"Ohhhh," Winry murmured as comprehension dawned on her. So that's why Ed nearly killed himself trying to climb onto the couch.
"Well," She continued, straightening up, "I expect the three of you to put everything back in order as soon as the floor isn't lava anymore."
"Okay Mommy!" Sara and Ben called in unison. Ed muttered an offhanded sure.
"And Edward?" she called in a high singsong voice. She grinned when she saw him pale. He really wasn't expecting to get out of this unscathed was he? That idiot should know better. "You had better drink all of your milk tonight at dinner."
"What?" Ed's face paled even more if that was even possible. "NO!"
Winry smirked, "Come on Ed. Don't be a baby."
"I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK IT!" he yelled, springing to his feet.
"Daddy get off the floor!" Ben and Sara screamed.
Ed flailed around in surprise and jumped back onto the couch, nearly knocking it completely over in the process.
"You're drinking it alright," Winry grinned evilly, "Milk makes you immune to lava."
The children gasped. "You have ta dwink it Daddy!" Sara told him, "You'll neva be able to walk awound again if ya don't!"
"You hear that Ed? Even your children want you to. You can't say no to them."
Ed took one look at their faces and groaned. "Winry?"
"Sorry Edward, I have to go finish making dinner. I don't have any time to argue with you right now."
"Come on Daddy!" Ben said, tugging Ed's arm, "We half ta go to the kitchen!"
"Yesh!" Sara spoke around her thumb, "We hafta dwink milk!"
"You're on your own Ed."
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