So I felt like this story needed some kind of better conclusion. After writing it I went looking for a song that would tie into the Angel them. But I wasn't really coming up with anything. So this one unlike the others where the angle song is more what Rafael was seeing or feeling towards Olivia. I picked this song more as a message from Olivia. That she would do anything for him( and the squad) and be there guardian angel. So the song is Your Guardian Angle by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Epilogue-Your Guardian Angel
Rafael hung up his phone and bounded out of his seat. His heart was pounding in his throat. He left everything sitting on his desk not even bothering to grab his coat. He ran out of his office all the way to the elevator. Then the moment he was on the ground floor he broke out running again. He had a slight ringing in his ear. Everyone around him seemed to be moving in slow motion.
He briefly considered getting his car but the busy streets of Manhattan would only slow him down. He turned on his heal and continued to run in the right direction. His heart felt as though it might bust out of his chest. But his legs seemed to keep caring him faster.
Surly he looked foolish. He was dressed in nice clothing. But he was disheveled. He had not expected the call that had come over the phone. His light blue tie hung loosely around his neck and his white shirt had the top button undone. His sleeves had been rolled up over his elbows. This was on top of nice slacks and expensive shoes that he was now running down the side walk in.
He began to slow, although he had no intention of standing there. The people in front of him formed a wall. They stood there waiting for the traffic to stop so they could cross. Rafael's blood was boiling in his veins. Deep and painful sorrow filled his heart. But in a moment it was washed away but overwhelming rage.
As the crowed began to move, Rafael pushed pasted people. He did not apologize, he did not look back, he did not slow for a moment. He sprinted full force down the side walk coming to a shaky halt when he reached police tape. Cop cars, ambulances, and police officers filled the street and the side walk.
The rage that had filled him was now evaporating into full panic. He looked around franticly. He looked for any of them. Tears filled his eyes. He refused to let them fall. He needed to stay focused. He stepped off of the side walk and into the street. He walked along the police barricade.
"Barba!" A voice yelled over the commotion.
Rafael scanned the crowed until his eyes landed on her. The blond was dashing towards him. He felt like he had gone a little numb. He wasn't sure if it was the marathon run he had just completed running from his office to the precinct or if it was the anxiety that had bubbled through him since the moment the words rang into his ear on the phone.
Amanda threw her arms around Rafael as she reached him. His arms came up and returned the hug. He held her tight in his arms for only a moment calming his nerves. They pulled apart and looked at one another both taking in a few deep breaths.
Amanda motioned for them to walk. They walked in silence approaching the side walk across the street. When they were out of the street Amanda led him through the crowd. Rafael's heart returned to a semi normal pace as they came to a stop.
" Are you all okay?" Rafael said Looking Nick, Fin, Carisi, and Amanda over.
He saw some blood. Given the number of ambulances parked in the street he logically concluded none of them were severely hurt. Everyone nodded slowly. They were all clearly shaken.
"Yeah man we're alright." Carisi offer up a verbal conformation.
Rafael watched them for a moment. When no one offered up an explanation of what had happened he asked.
"What the hell happened here? I got a call that there had been a shooting. After…After what happened last year I panicked. I ran all the way from the office." Rafael said looking each of them in the eye.
They had become even closer in the last year. After they had lost Olivia they had become lost. They moved forward slowly. New faces had joined the squad room and Lieutenant Murphy and taken command. But the small group that now stood together had a special bond. They had all been changed by Olivia's death, because they had all been changed by Olivia's life.
"A call came into the squad earlier today; a man claimed that he fired the shots at the court house a year ago. He also said that as long a Josh remained on death row that none of us were safe." Fin said with a stern look on his face.
" Murphy put everyone on high alert. Keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary." Carisi added.
" But the unit is such that a lot of people are in and out of the building all day every day. Most of them don't have anything to say until they reach the squad room. We couldn't ask uni's to pat down victims as they walked in the door." Amanda said.
Rafael nodded understanding the situation.
"This guy came in about…" Amanda pause and looked at her watch
" Well almost an hour ago at this point. He was quite didn't say much. Then all the sudden he's yelling about people in jail that were framed, police brutality, freedom to bear arms, freedom of speech, excreta. He just kept going on and on we were all watching this guy's melt down. Trying to talk to him; Calm him down and find out what was going on. Then he pulled a gun and started shooting in every direction. We all hit the floor. Thankfully the squad room was relatively empty. We didn't have any victims in the room and only one witness who nick thankfully pulled to the ground and shielded. " Amanda continued
Rafael felt the lump forming in his throat again. Listening to them talk.
"Fin shot him." Nick added.
There were a few moments of silence.
"When the shooter went down we took the gun from him. He was bleeding pretty bad. I put a compress on the wound and asked him why?" Fin said.
Rafael waited.
"He told me that the squad had framed Josh. He then said that his group had wanted us all dead. But when they couldn't take us all down at the court house after his trial they settled for one." Fin said.
" After we were all cleared out of the building we did a little digging on our phones. This guys group has completely dissolved. He was the last man. I think he just wanted to see us all dead." Nick added
"Well for a gun guy he had terrible aim." Amanda said with a thankful tone to her voice.
"Yeah get this, guy fires off ten rounds. Kills a coffee pot and grazes to uniformed officers who just happened to walk into the squad room when all hell broke loose." Carisi Joined in.
" Will the officers be alright?" Rafael's face twisted quizzically.
"Yeah. They are both getting looked at now."
Rafael took a deep breath and let it out slowly he was glad to see everyone was alright.
"So this guy. He's the one that shot Olivia?" Rafael asked.
There were a few nods.
"From what he was ranting and what we found later. Plus what he told me after I shot him. Yeah. He shot Olivia." Fin said.
Rafael let that sink in. They hadn't really had any leads and after the first few weeks they didn't really have man power to keep looking. They had let the man get way. But he had come back.
"Is he dead?" Rafael asked a cold tone to his voice.
"Yeah. He died before the ambulance made it her." Fin stated
Rafael felt split by this. He had wanted to make the man suffer. Let him sit in jail and rot away. But it was just as resolving that the man was dead.
"Good." Rafael said with a nod.
"I better get back to the office. I'm glad you all are alright. Let's meet up to night. I'm sure we could all use a drink." Rafael said.
He began walking not waiting for responses. They would come. They always did.
Rafael walked quietly. He had no real intention of going back to the office right now. He allowed the thoughts that he had pushed away for so long to flood into his mind.
He remembered all the hard days after he had returned to work. All the long nights alone. He had picked up the phone dozens of times planning to call Olivia. Call and ask her about the case. Call and see if she wanted to get drinks after a case. Call and see if see if she wanted to get coffee…
The moments before he would pick up the phone were always the happiest. Thoughts of her would be filling his mind. The minute he his fingers touched the cold phone though were always the ones that broke his heart. His eyes would travel to the photo on his desk. It was a photo of the squad and him all sitting together at the bar in their favorite booth. They were all smiling. It had been a fun night. His eyes would then fall onto the smaller photo that sat next to it. One that he had framed a few months after Olivia had passed. It was just her. Nick had given it to him after her apartment had been cleared out.
Rafael didn't know its context and didn't know where it had come from. But she was smiling and she was beautiful.
Rafael made his way into the cemetery. He walked down the path until he came to Oliva's headstone. He kneeled in front of it. It still broke his heart every time he saw it. Tears ran down his face.
Rafael felt a hand on his shoulder. He raised his hand and placed it on top of the hand on his shoulder. His thumb rubbed back and forth on the back of the hand.
"I didn't know if you would come." Rafael said as he stood allowing the hand to trail down his back.
"He's dead. Fin shot him." Rafael said.
"He told Fin that he had wanted to shoot the whole squad. But when you all split up that day he had to pick someone." Rafael's voice trailed off.
"I don't know how you did it. You always put yourself out there to protect us." Rafael cried as tears once again fell down his face.
"I wanted to." Olivia said to him from her place next to him.
" I didn't want to see anyone get hurt if I could do something about it." Olivia continued
"You didn't know though. You didn't have to die. You didn't always have to protect everyone…you didn't even know and you still managed to protect them." Rafael felt a fresh wave of tears coming down him face.
"I miss you so much." He cried.
Rafael turned to her. He knew she wasn't there; just his mind comforting its self. He didn't see her like he had just after she died. The only time he saw her was when he came to place flowers on her grave. And only when he was alone. Yet somehow here he was never alone.
He threw himself into her arms. He felt her hair on his face, smelled her perfume, Felt her soft body pressed to him. They cried together. They whispered comforting words to each other. Whispered their love into each other's ears.
Rafael stood there for a long time. He let out all the pain of losing her. All the pain of the time he had to go on without her. He let out the pain of hiding his feelings for her until it was too late. He let out pain that wasn't even his. He let out the pain that the squad had held in their hearts after she was gone, the guilt of not catching the guy. He let out the pain he held for Olivia on the days she couldn't hold it for herself.
When there was no more pain, no more tears to cry, no more he could expel he crumbled to the ground. They held on another for a while. And Rafael drew in some deep breaths. He stood, Faced Olivia and Looked into her loving eyes.
"I Love you." He said with a sad smile.
"I Love you too." She whispered back. Her voice carried by the wind.
He hugged her.
"Goodbye angle" He whispered.
He walked from her grave glancing back. She was gone. The cold air nipped at his skin. The sun was getting low in the sky as he made it back to his office. He straightened his clothing and gathered his belongings. Slipped his coat on and turned out the lights.
He walked to his car and drove silently to the bar. When he arrived he saw everyone squished into their favorite booth and he joined them. He ordered his drink and joined into the conversation. Light filled their eyes. Smiles that had long been missed returned to their faces. Rafael sat sipping his drink and enjoying his family.
He glanced up looking past the people in the crowded bar. Standing in front of the door was Olivia. She smiled at him and he smiled back. They held a gaze for a moment and his eyes returned to the group. When he glanced back up she was gone. Laugher filled the evening. They would always miss Olivia, But today had brought closure. Almost a year later and the real mourning had finally passed. Things would never be the same but things could move on now.
They would always be bonded together by the time they had known Olivia. And they knew, at least Rafael knew she was smiling down on them. She was their guardian angel.
-THE END
piloug