Shopping with Duncan was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her entire life and Courtney Myers knew it. No matter how hard an exam got or how difficult a situation became, she would rather keep that moment then have to go to shopping with Duncan. Maybe that's why, Courtney thought most of the time, I always go shopping with the girls.
One time Bridgette and her spied on the boys to see what they did when they went shopping and they weren't too pleased. They sat impatiently at a bench as the boys kept ordering Subways and Pepsi. After an hour, Courtney went up to Duncan and immediately demanded to stop eating as it was wrecking his body.
But food shopping topped the worst experiences of Courtney's life. Duncan had absolutely no idea what food to buy. He couldn't tell white and brown bread apart, he couldn't taste the difference in different types of olives – he was absolutely useless. Courtney preferred to take Lindsay over Duncan, and that was saying something. Unfortunately, it was one of those days when no one was around except Duncan, and she had to take him.
"Ah, supermarkets," Duncan sighed happily, "The wonderful land where you can buy as much junk food as you want. The land of dreams, happiness…the land of stuffing your face."
Courtney rolled her eyes at him as she pushed in front of him with the trolley. "Duncan, we're only getting things we need, okay? No Dr. Pepper's or iTunes vouchers."
He groaned and she smiled with victory. "But they are things we need. Can't we just get ready meals? I know how to make those."
"Any genius can put some food in a microwave, Duncan. And that's not good, nutritious food. Look, I've made two shopping lists, different ones, so you go round and get what's on yours, I'll do mine, and then we'll be finished."
"But…that takes work," he complained, but took the shopping list. Courtney walked off, leading him to try and figure out the shopping by himself.
Brown bread, not white. It's the one that looks darker than the other.
Oranges, and make them ripe ones, not old, manky ones.
Avocados. If you don't know what these are, ask someone for help.
Rice. This isn't too hard.
Spaghetti. It's the long type of pasta.
Penne. It's that cylinder like pasta.
Green olives. Green. Olives. Not that hard.
Cheese. Not blue cheese, though.
Duncan peered reluctantly at the list as headed to the fruit aisle. He looked at the strawberries first. They were all green, and not at all ripe. He decided that Courtney could instead have strawberry Twizzlers, because they looked riper than the actual strawberries. He then looked at the cherries but decided if he was going to get strawberry Twizzlers, he might as well purchase from the same brand, and decided two packets of cherry Twizzlers would do nicely as a replacement for the cherries.
Oranges was next. Duncan wasn't a big fan of oranges and decided a Chocolate Orange would do. It was after all, a need to drink stuff. Then some strawberry jam. Duncan quite liked strawberry jam and settled on some gourmet strawberry jam, as he deserved only the best, his mother used to say to him.
Brown bread was next. He wasn't all too fussed on bread in general and settled on some Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts. This seemed like a good option in comparison to bread.
Avocados. He dug out his phone and looked them in on the internet. He saw that there skin was dark green, and thought that some Mint M&Ms would take care of that. Onto the cheese, he decided that the smartest decision was to get some Peanut M&Ms instead. That way he would know the brand was trustworthy and worth getting again. Rice was easily replaced with some White Chocolate Reese's cups, and green olives were replaced with some Green Apple Jolly Rancher's.
Spaghetti and Penne pasta were replaced with Butterfingers and some Milk Duds and the instant noodles were bought just to make Courtney happy.
"Did we get everything we need?" Courtney asked as she met with me at our meeting point after fifteen minutes.
"Yeah, and I did it in record breaking time. 3 minutes 47.56 seconds!" Duncan told her enthusiastically.
"I'll just check we've got everything," she told him as she glanced at his basket. There was an awkward moment of silence between the two. "DUNCAN RIVERS! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
A/N – Wow. Teaches you never to take Duncan shopping again, or it will just end up in disaster. Here's Duncan's final shopping list if anyone was wondering what it was like at the end, with the reasons for his purchases.
Second chapter completed. I'm literally publishing everything I've had put away for ages, because I've had such a long absence. I could have done more, but I'm just so lazy...Ugh. I feel bad. Anyway, I hope to update soon!
Strawberry Twizzlers over Strawberries – because the strawberries weren't ripe.
Two packets of Cherry Twizzlers over cherries – because you might as well purchase from the same brand.
Tin of Club Orange over oranges – not a big fan of oranges.
Gourmet Strawberry Jam over average strawberry jam – because he deserved the best.
Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts instead of brown bread – because he never liked bread that much.
Mint M&Ms over avocadoes – because they seemed like the better option.
Peanut M&Ms over cheese – because he wanted to buy from the same brand.
White Chocolate Reese's Cups over rice - because why not?
Green Apple Jolly Ranchers over green olives – he wasn't a fan of olives.
Butterfingers and Milk Duds over spaghetti and penne.
Instant noodles - to make Courtney happy.