37All My Friends Are Superheroes
Summary: Being a teenaged hero is no walk in the park; juggling school, homework, superpowers, friends and family can be tough, especially when you and your secret boyfriend are tiptoeing around teammates, parents and mentors. However, sometimes in life you have to just stop worrying, and let the stones fall where they may. It might not be that bad, after all. Season 1. AU/OOC. Birdflash.
Point Of View: Third person's POV, set in past tense/story format, with dreams/thoughts italicized. The focus will mainly be on Robin and Kid Flash, of course, but I fully plan to further explore their interactions with the team, and also with their JLA mentors. Story starts after the team has been established, right after the end of their first official mission together.
"A true best friend loves you even when it seems like you've gone off the deep end." - Liz Fenton
Robin had not slept well at all last night.
Granted, that wasn't exactly unusual for him. He'd been plagued with reccurring bouts of insomnia since he was a kid, after the deaths of his family, and occasionally when he did manage to fall asleep, he woke up from a nightmare at least once. It was at its worst around the one year anniversary, and it prompted his guardian to take him to see a psychologist specializing with adolescents.
Several short visits and a prescription for Ambien later, and now it rarely bothered him these days...
But this time the reason was completely unrelated to any childhood trauma of his.
All he could think about was Wally, about what had happened between them last night, in his bedroom.
The young teen had only gone there to be certain that they were still friends.
Sure, he'd known the others on his newly formed team for a while already, but Wally was his best friend. He'd met Aqualad and Speedy a while after Batman had finally decided to introduce him to the founding members of the Justice League, a few weeks preceding his tenth birthday, which was already a while after he'd officially deemed him ready to start crime-fighting for real, on the streets of Gotham with him.
Having befriended all of them previously, aside from Superboy and M'gann, he knew them pretty well. Especially Wally, who he'd known for about two years and four months now (they had met in March of 2008), he was the first other sidekick he'd actually seen in person. He considered the redhead to be the closest of his companions, and so of course he could tell that something was bothering him; especially when KF had barely spoken after they returned from their first mission, and how he kept looking away whenever the two of them made eye contact.
Wally was one of the most happy, carefree and expressive people he knew, so the fact that he kept his head down and his mouth shut the whole ride back could have only meant one thing: that he was angry with Robin.
Thinking it over, it really didn't take a genius or a detective like Batman to figure out why that would be. After all, the only fight they'd had recently was of who would be a better team leader, and yeah, maybe he had said some hurtful things, but he really hadn't meant a good portion of them, all he was trying to do was get KF to see his side of things.
Not that the other boy hadn't made a valid argument as well, like pointing out the fact that Robin was used to doing things with one partner - Batman, the man who had raised him from the age of nine and knew him better than anyone, and thus could predict him and understand his actions in ways the others did not. When Kaldur had later said the exact same thing, it just made him feel even worse.
All he could think of was how disappointed Batman would be if he saw how awful his partner was at being a team player.
That, specifically, was what made him announce that the Atlantean should be their leader. If he wanted to take over one day, and he kind of did, he would work for it. He'd learn how to be synchronized with his team members the same way he was with his mentor, and prove himself to be capable of taking charge.
He had also wanted to tell Wally when he spoke to him that he hadn't intended to hurt his feelings.
But he got sidetracked.
First by Wally being irritatingly aloof and sarcastic during what was supposed to be a serious conversation, and then by other things...
Robin hadn't realized until he heard the speedster's comments just how hurt he was by their fight. Sure, maybe he'd been more than a little unkind, but he never once thought Wally was actually unintelligent. A bit of a goofball and kind of dorky at times, in the endearing sort of way, but certainly far from dumb.
He had wanted to argue with what the ginger was telling him; he wanted to shout that it didn't matter if Wally's family wasn't rich or anything like that - because he was a smart, good person, and just as much a hero as any member of their team. He was a quick thinker and had a heart of gold, so it was irrelevant if his powers were something he gave himself, all that was important was that he used them for justice.
Those were only some of the things he'd wanted to say, but didn't.
Because he was truly afraid that Wally would see right through him, and realize just how much he meant to Robin. Not only was the younger boy sorry, but he felt horrible about everything, because he'd let his temper, or rather, his ego, cloud his judgement during their mission. But most of all, he was scared that if he said anything more than short, carefully chosen replies, that the other teen would figure it out.
Figure out about the crush Robin had been harboring for his friend, for almost as long as they'd known each other.
He hadn't always known that's what it was. At first Wally mostly got on his nerves - he was a loud, hyperactive smartass (not much had changed there), but he also happened to be really...cute. Maybe not in the most conventional way, but Robin wasn't blind - he'd heard how the Flash's and KF's fans talked about him, and saw how they reacted to his flirting.
But really, who could blame them?
Red hair was considered the most rare and desirable (natural) hair colour in the world for a reason. Aside from that, he also had other physical attributes that a younger him had immediately admired: mesmerizing green eyes (also a recessive gene), a killer smile, and freckles that kind of reminded Robin of the clusters of stars which made up the constellations in the night sky.
Plus, it had also been nice talking to someone that understood what it was like. Batman was great and all, but he wasn't the most easy person to talk to, even with the cowl off. When he'd first arrived at the Wayne Manor, the nine-year-old boy had been intimidated by his dark stoicism. The speedster, however, was friendly and cheerful, and he could relate to the whole sidekick thing.
Not long after he hit age twelve, and puberty set in, the brunette began to notice other things about him though, stuff he'd never paid attention to before. The way his heart would grow warm and seemingly flutter whenever the boy so much as looked at him, or how every joke Wally told, no matter how lame, still made him want to laugh, just because of how it would light up his face whenever he did so, and how he would elbow Robin lightly and laugh along with him.
Wally was his very best friend, though, even if they didn't always get along. So like the good friend he wanted to be, he ignored those feelings that he had, even as he watched on with a strange, tight pain in his chest as the redhead hit on every pretty female he encountered.
Even if he could consider ever admitting his crush to the older boy, he knew for a fact that Wally liked girls, and to put him in such an uncomfortable and difficult situation would have been totally unfair. Courage to tell him aside, there would be no chance for them anyways, because the Metahuman was straight.
At least, that's what he'd thought up until yesterday evening.
Okay, and maybe they didn't spend a ton of time together these days, but that was only because they had known their time to stand in the superhero limelight had been coming, and that they would get plenty of chances to hang out and do stuff like they used to, but still...
He had known the speedster for more than two years, and not once had Wally ever given off even the tiniest sign that he might have been anything other than one hundred percent, completely heterosexual.
Robin hadn't always liked boys. The former sidekick to Batman hadn't liked really anyone for most of his admittedly short life.
Aside from Wally, he still didn't, actually.
He'd seen girls at Gotham Academy that were moderately pretty, he supposed, and in the media and stuff, but outside his street life, he'd been fairly sheltered after getting taken in by Bruce.
Before the redhead, he really didn't spend enough time with anyone else to develop feelings for them.
Thinking back, he vaguely remembered a young girl that had briefly been a part of Haly's Circus. He couldn't remember her name, and she'd only been with their group for a few weeks before leaving. But he been initially excited, because at the age of seven there weren't many other kids around that he could talk to, since everyone else was a grown up or someone in a crowd watching him.
She was training to be a magician's assistant. Rose, he recalled, had been a little older than him, with long and curly coppery coloured hair. Her teeth had braces and she was extremely pale, but he still vividly remembered that her eyes had been light, warm brown. Like milk chocolate. Before leaving the circus with her aunt, she'd given him a "magic" cane - a cool black trick one with white tips that hid a bunch of colorful faux flowers in the end.
A memory that stood out most was his father lightly teasing him when they had met that he had a "girlfriend," while his mother simply fawned over her little boy having his first crush.
There was also the small infatuation he'd had just before he met Wally, when he was nine. It was in none other than Commissioner Gordon's ten-year-old daughter, Barbara. Back then they weren't even friends but he still thought she was quite pretty, something Bruce and Al frequently traded him about.
It was sort of funny, looking back on it, that he'd had a thing for redheads even back then.
After first deducing his feelings for Wally (and, okay, he'd had help from Google), he began to wonder of his own sexuality. He didn't think he was gay - Rose had been young, but definitely a girl. Did that make him bisexual? If so, why were there only three people that he could remember having feelings for?
There were so many terms that learning about it all gave him a huge headache.
In the end it had just left him questioning even more.
But none of that was what had kept him awake last night, tossing and turning in bed. He'd gotten used to admiring Wally in secret by now, after all.
No, what bothered him was what happened after he apologized to Wally.
When the speedster had told him that they could make up by kissing, he'd felt a surge of emotion. Mostly excitement and hope, but also disbelief. He thought for sure it had to be a dream, because it wouldn't have been the first time he'd imagined Wally saying that to him, although the context usually wasn't after a fight.
But because Wally didn't know about his crush, he had to pretend to be shocked and confused, so he'd called the older teen out on it.
It had been painful to realize that the freckled boy was just messing with him. Anger and sadness hit him hard, along with an immense sense of panic. What if the redhead did know how he'd felt? He thought he was hiding it so well, too!
Robin had to fight down the crushing grief when he began to think that Wally was simply trying to be mean spirited: if he did know about the brunette's crush, about his fear and stress over his sexual identity and feelings for his best friend, then his jokes and mind games were just plain cruel.
Despite the voice in his head that told him repeatedly that Wally wasn't that kind of person, he stillfelt like he'd bit off more than he could chew with the confrontation, and prepared to storm off to his room so he could sulk and mull over it in private, what he didn't expect was for the other boy to stop him.
Before he even knew what was happening, Wally had slammed the door inches away from his face, standing way too close, and it made him catch his breath, which he hoped KF hadn't noticed. He was frozen. He knew what was coming but he couldn't react. Partially because he was so shocked that Wally was actually being serious, but also because, as previously mentioned, he'd wanted it for so long.
The kiss was...indescribable.
He'd heard from kids at school and whatnot what kissing was supposed to be like, but he guessed that experiencing it for yourself really couldn't compare to second hand knowledge. Even now, hours later, thinking about it still made his lips tingle, and remembering what it had led to seemed to set his body alight, sent a warm, tingling sensation through him.
Robin hadn't meant to kiss Wally back, really, it had sort of been instinctual. The scent of the redhead (cologne, oddly enough, which he suspected belonged to the teen's father or uncle) had a pleasantly dizzying effect.
...Or maybe it was from lack of oxygen.
The feeling of Wally's hands on him had been even more unexpected. Considering that it had been his first ever kiss, he sure as heck hadn't done anything even remotely physical with another person in that way. Not unless you included getting beaten up by bad guys, or, regrettably, once felt up by a pervy psycho as he handcuffed him a while back.
Remembering last night made him feel hot all over, and not just from embarrassment.
Seeing the look in Wally's eyes as he'd pinned him up against the bedroom door, kissing him and touching him all over, as shocking as that was, had made his mouth go dry.
It sure as hell didn't take Google to figure out what had happened that time.
Despite his busy night life as a vigilante, Robin was definitely no stranger to the frustrations of getting older. He might have still been young, but he wasn't that naïve.
He knew about sex, obviously - maybe not all of the intimate details of it, because ew! was all his eleven-year-old self thought when he first found out what it was - but he knew how it worked at the very least, and the purpose that it served.
Okay, so he and Wally hadn't actually had sex; at least he didn't think what they had done counted, but something close to it had occurred. The fresh memories sent a flush of arousal through him, much to his chagrin. Crush on his best buddy aside, he was left completely baffled by the events. Why had Wally done that, and... why hadn't Robin tried to stop him? It wasn't like he couldn't have easily judo-thrown the redhead across the room to make his feelings clear, but the thought never even occurred to him at the time.
Maybe if he'd been lucky enough to fall head over heels for some pretty actress or weather woman he'd spotted on TV it wouldn't be so bad, at least they wouldn't know who he was. But how could he look Wally in the eye again after what had happened?
Where did they even stand?
He was pretty sure that even if Wally did like guys the same way he liked girls, he didn't have real feelings for Robin. If he had, surely the brunette would have noticed. He was a detective, after all. A self proclaimed detective, but one nonetheless. The thought that the redhead was aware of his crush and instead of mocking him for it, he had given him the kiss out of pity... well, that was even worse than the idea of getting blatantly rejected.
Humiliation of what had happened aside, he didn't want to think that his first time kissing someone else, and his first time doing something even remotely sexual with another person, was done simply because his teammate felt sorry for him.
The idea made him cringe.
It was that which kept him awake all night - he hated not knowing Wally's motivation behind everything, his thoughts and feelings on it.
Robin only came to a certain realization over a quiet breakfast by himself (thanking whatever deity was up there that no one else was awake) that Wally was his best friend. He wasn't a criminal or a suspect that needed to be interrogated or investigated.
Why spend so much time losing sleep over this when he could do things the simple way?
It would be difficult, putting all his cards on the table, but at least he would get some answers if he simply said: Wally we need to talk. I like you, and I have for a long time, but what was all that about last night anyways?
Whether it had been an impulse or simple frustration combined with adrenaline or possibly (hopefully) feeling something back, he needed to know the answer. The last thing he wanted was a relapse in his sleeplessness. Not only was it unhealthy, but it would be bad for the team on missions if he couldn't focus.
Swallowing down the last of his orange juice, the acrobat took a deep breath and stood, before heading off to find Wally.
Robin stood anxiously in front of his best friend's door, hesitating.
This felt extremely familiar.
Doing his best to stay calm, he tapped on the door, and waited. No answer. He was probably still asleep, and the brunette told himself to just go back to his room until it was a decent hour.
Instead, he sighed and looked around nervously for a moment, then then brought up his holo-computer and disabled the locks on the door, causing it to slide open. When no one yelled at him, he slowly began to poke his head through, "Wally...?"
No answer.
Feeling a bit concerned, he stepped into the room, and immediately relaxed, seeing a familiar tussle of reddish-orange hair sticking up from under a blanket. It shouldn't have surprised him that the other boy was still fast asleep, considering he himself was an early riser...
A bird in more than just name.
He was about to turn and leave, figuring he could spend a couple of hours going over other ways he could talk to the older teenager, when he heard a sleepy voice that made him freeze.
"...Robin..."
Whirling around, the brunette opened his mouth, prepared to blurt out an explanation as to why exactly he was standing in his best friend's room while he was asleep and without permission, but paused, noticing Wally's eyes were still shut, and he seemed to simply snuggle more into his blankets and sigh.
"Wally?"
The redhead mumbled something that sounded like "hmm?".
So was he only half awake, then? Or did the speedster just happen to be a sleep talker?
Deciding to test that theory, he decided to ask him a question. It was probably stupid; there was little evidence to prove that sleep talkers were being truthful, considering some of the nonsense people could spout out in unconscious or semi-conscious states, but he figured it couldn't hurt to try.
"When is your birthday?"
The teenager rolled over onto his back, grumbling, and he at first thought that Wally wouldn't answer, until he arched his back, stretching in his sleep, and muttered, "'In January, duh..."
Yeah, he was definitely still asleep.
Had he been awake Wally would have been upset at the thought of his best friend forgetting something so important; which of course he hadn't.
Biting his lower lip, a habit of his usually reserved for when he was alone, he tried to come up with something less obvious, and the team came to mind, the close bonds they all shared, "Who are you closest to?"
This time, Wally's response wasn't delayed, "Uncle Barry..." he chuckled, tucking a pillow under his chin, "He's the best."
Robin frowned. Okay, maybe that one was a little too vague, "I mean on the team," he pressed.
"Mmm... I'm on the team..."
Now he wanted to facepalm, this was a really dumb idea, but it was also kind of amusing, so he continued. "I know that, KF. But how do you feel about the team?"
The soft, dreamy smile that appeared on Wally's face was kind of adorable, "Friends. Feels...at home. Safe. Happy. Not alone. Love the team..." he sighed. The reply made Robin's heart swell slightly, and he started to feel guilty. Was this an invasion of the redhead's privacy? Like hacking someone's computer or reading their diary?
Did people still even have diaries anymore?
Whatever.
In spite of feeling bad for this now, he couldn't resist the urge to ask, "What about Robin?" He asked softly, inching closer, "How...how do you feel about him?" He chest tightened, waiting.
"...My best friend."
The brunette shut his eyes, a completely expected and disappointingly platonic answer. It made him ball his fists at his sides, not out of anger, but sadness. The truth hurt more than he cared to admit, but it was something that he could probably live with.
"Robin's kind," He heard Wally speak up suddenly, his voice so quiet he thought it was imaginary at first, "Good. Annoying sometimes, but brave and loyal. He's really pretty," the younger boy's breath caught in his throat upon hearing that, "Not to mention smart... if not a bit gullible."
His eyes snapped open, and he noticed Wally - definitely awake right now - was sitting up slightly, looking right at Robin.
Dread filled him.
Wally was pretending the whole time? He knew what he was doing? Oh God, that meant he had to know for sure now, if he hadn't already. He could feel his face go pale, his fists started shaking beside him, "You were awake...?" he asked, his voice more choked than he cared to realize.
The redhead seemed to see right through him, something that he had always hated, because Wally sat up completely this time and shook his head, rubbing the sleeps from his eyes, "I started to come to 'bout a minute ago. Kept my eyes shut and tried to figure out what the heck was going on. I do that whenever I realize I've been sleep talking to people."
"Oh."
What else could he say? He hadn't felt this close to having a panic attack in years, and the last thing he wanted to do was either start hyperventilating or break down in tears in front of his crush. "I-I should go..."
The speedster cocked his head, "Why?" He asked, puzzled. "I mean, yeah, it was kind of a dick move to try an' interrogate me while I was asleep," the younger boy flinched at that, "But I'm not mad. If it were the other way around I probably would have done the same thing." He grinned, teasingly, "Find out all your dirty little secrets."
Despite himself, Robin couldn't help but chuckle quietly, removing some of the tension from his shoulders, "In your dreams, West."
"Are you here to talk about last night?"
His stomach dropped, and Robin ran a hand through his hair, sighing, "I-I..." he took a deep breath, "I really don't know what I'm doing here, to be honest."
Frowning, Wally proceeded to slide over on the bed, making room at the edge, and patted the spot, "Sit down then, let's talk." The ginger said, uncharacteristically serious, "And quit staring at me like I'm about to punch you or something, I know things must be kind of weird, but I don't want them to be."
The earnesty in his voice was what prompted Robin to reluctantly sit down next to his friend, and Wally put a hand on his thigh, causing him to flush slightly, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the speedster.
"Sorry," he moved away slightly, mistaking his blush for one of discomfort, and the ninja instantly missed the warmth that radiated off of the him. He was still in his pyjamas and it was kind of chilly. "Look, Robin, about last night... I'm just gonna come out and say a few things, alright? Then you can decide what you want to say, if anything. Does that sound okay?"
Thinking about it for a moment, the raven-haired boy nodded slightly.
It seemed reasonable enough. At least then he could consider what Wally was saying and choose his own replies carefully.
"This kiss was real," he began, giving Robin a sideways smile, "And yeah, I was kinda pissed at you last night, and maybe manipulating you into feeling guilty enough that you'd let me plant one on you was kind of wrong... But I didn't plan it or anything, I just asked on a whim. Not because I was trying to make you uncomfortable, but I guess because I just wanted to do it."
Surprise was the most dominant emotion he felt, but the brunette soon relaxed. He knew Wally wasn't mean enough to go out of his way to hurt him, it wasn't who he was, so that was one worry gone. He'd kissed Robin because he felt like it, not because he wanted to make fun of him.
"As for the second thing, I mean what happened after..." Wally at least had the decency to look slightly embarrassed this time around, which made Robin feel less humiliated about it, "Totally unexpected also. I guess I didn't expect to actually kiss you anymore than you did, but once I had..."
He waited, nervously.
"I...I just lost control, I don't know. That happens sometimes. I mean, not with anyone as good looking as you, but-" the speedster seemed to realize what he said, because his cheeks flushed slightly, "I mean, you're my best pal, Robin! I really don't want things to be weird between us. Just because you're a great kisser it doesn't excuse that I pretty much humped you against my bedroom door."
Robin's face turned bright red at that, and Wally backtracked, "Okay, this so isn't coming out right. What I really mean is - I wasn't used to kinda liking someone that I was actually friends with, you know? So I figured I could get away with a little kiss and that would be that, but it didn't happen that way..." he sighed, looking conflicted.
The Boy Wonder, on the other hand, was stunned, "What do you mean by 'kinda like'?" he blurted out, staring at his companion.
He couldn't be saying that he actually might feel the same way, could he?
Sighing again, Wally ran a hand over his face, and suddenly flopped down on the bed, on his back, pulling Robin down with him (which made him yelp, though he'd never admit it), their legs dangling off the side.
"I don't know, to be honest." He admitted, and Robin felt himself deflate slightly. "Hard as it might be to believe, I've never dated anyone. Not really. There was this one girl, but that was it, except... I mean - hookups don't count, right?" At the blank stare he recieved in response, he continued, "Never mind. What I'm saying is that I never did anything like what we did last night with someone I actually..." Wally struggled for a moment, "Care about."
"I like you." The raven-haired teen confessed all of a sudden, and it was Wally's turn to look shocked, "I mean I like you, like you, and I needed you to know, because despite everything, we're best friends and I don't know what I'd do if we weren't anymore. Please don't hate me."
It came off sounding desperate.
As a general rule, Robin despised feeling vulnerable.
It was something that had not only been instilled in him by Batman - that showing weakness meant that people could take advantage of you - but something that he had also learned on his own over time. Especially during his brief time at the Gotham City Juvenile Detention Center, where he had to stay while Bruce made the arrangements for him to legally become his guardian. It would have taken longer had his Uncle Rick, crippled and hospitalized, not signed over his rights as Richard Grayson's last living relative to the billionaire. But that place still taught him not to let yourself get caught off guard or you were liable to end up getting curbstomped.
Everything Wally was saying was making his head spin. At this point he didn't know if the other teen liked him back or not, because he never really answered that, all he knew was that Wally's super speed seemed to make him impulsive. Unless he had ADD before his powers, which might have explained the sudden, unplanned kiss. But also, he knew the ginger found him attractive, which, while pleasing, still left him with a ton of questions.
Wally was staring at him, his emotions and thoughts completely hidden by a poker face.
And wow, that was almost as good as Batman's. Almost. It made him wonder where Kid Flash had learned how to conceal his expression so well.
Just as he was considering begging for his friend to say something, Wally sighed, sounding almost sad, "I...I guess it's not really a surprise. It explains why you didn't beat the shit out of me last night for shoving you up against the door." He muttered, and shifted, "Look, Rob-" he liked that nickname. Everyone called him Robin, or sometimes "Bird", but he liked the thought that this was something just Wally referred to him as, "I like you too, but..."
Robin somehow managed to ask, hearing his own pulse pounding in his eardrums, "But?"
"I don't think we should date."
Before he could decide whether he should run from the room, he felt fingers gently curl around his wrist, and looked back at Wally, who had an unspeakably sad expression. "Please don't leave. It's got nothing to do with you specifically, I promise. I just..." He huffed out a breath, looking frustrated, pained, "I'm a fuck-up, Robin. It's what I do best, besides the whole speed thing. As great as I think we could be together, it seems like a bad idea. What if we fought and broke up and ended up hating each other? I don't want to lose you because I'm scared that I'll suck at relationships."
"Wally... You're not a...that." The brunette tried to protest, despite the good point about their friendship being enough to give him pause. It made sense, and that bothered him, because it felt like the only thing standing in their way.
The redhead, to Robin's surprise, suddenly moved closer, his head resting on the younger boy's shoulder, and if it were any other moment he would have been thrilled, but the sheer melancholy in the room didn't allow it. "I am, Rob. Really. I might have my speed, but... I still somehow manage to always screw things up. Remember what I told you about how I got my powers?"
He nodded, almost mechanically.
Robin remembered clearly, at the time thinking how crazy it was that the older teen had recreated an extremely dangerous accident that could have killed him, just to force his uncle's hand and make him take Wally on as an apprentice.
"It didn't go exactly as planned..." The redhead mumbled, "Obviously it worked to a degree. But there's a reason I'm not as fast as Uncle Barry."
"Your age?" He was pretty new to it still, but the Flash had years of experience on Wally.
Tilting his head slightly, the speedster replied, "It's possible, I guess. But I'm not so sure. I think it's more likely that I messed up, somehow. That I didn't get the formula right... When I did the experiment, I kind of..." he seemed hesitant now, "I sort of blew up my parents' garage." He chucked wryly at the look of disbelief on his friend's face, seeing the boy pale at his words. "The only reason Uncle B agreed to be my mentor was because he felt bad that my own stupidity put me in the Intensive Care Unit."
"In the-Oh my God," Robin sat up, and he was staring at his friend, legitimately horrified at this new information. He had no idea of the exact mechanics behind how Flash got his powers, just that science and lightning had been involved in the lab accident. But the gravity of what Wally was saying hit him hard. It meant that the redhead had intentionally put himself in harms way by dousing himself with dangerous, electrified chemicals, without knowing what they'd do. "Why would you...?"
Wally squeezed his hand, comfortingly, "Because the Flash was my hero. Both of them were. I was over the moon when I found out my aunt was married to one of them. Beyond excited. Barry could tell I was disappointed when he turned me down as his sidekick - for my safety, he said - and so I managed to convince him to tell me the whole story, including everything he knew about the incident. I even stole his notes he'd written while trying to figure it out for himself. I wanted to be a hero just like him."
"That is completely idiotic." Was all the Boy Wonder managed to say, thinking of how sheer luck was the only reason they actually knew each other, that they were friends at all, because that "experiment" could have just as easily killed the redhead.
Sitting up, the speedster grinned, "But it's also kind of awesome, isn't it?"
He laughed softly, despite himself, "Okay, I guess it is pretty cool." He wasn't sure he'd have been able to put himself through that, without knowing the consequences, in order to become a hero.
Becoming serious again all of a sudden, Wally looked directly at him, "So, you understand what I'm saying, right? About before?"
Robin understood, as much as he truly hated to admit it, he got what the redhead was telling him. He didn't want to risk ruining their friendship over them having feelings for each other. A relationship, one that might not even last, wouldn't be worth what they could lose in the end.
Not only that, but what if one of them died? It was a bleak thought, yes, but one that was obvious. Superheroes lived dangerous lives. Having a stable relationship would be hard enough (he sort of got why his adoptive father was ever a bachelor, aside from just maintaining his persona), but having one with someone on your same team?
If that didn't scream danger, he didn't know what did.
They couldn't risk distractions, or screwing things up or really anything...
"So I guess it's better if we just pretend last night never happened, then?" He asked, glumly.
Wally seemed concerned, now, "You sound disappointed by that..."
Yeah, he was.
"Not really. It's just that... I'd never been kissed by anyone before, you know."
Why the hell did he say that? It felt important, but the way Wally's head shot up, and how he looked at Robin with a stricken and vaguely horrified expression, made him regret it sincerely. He just wanted him to know, but clearly the other boy wasn't going to take it well.
"You never... Fuck." He swore, and suddenly Robin was being pulled into the redhead's arms, pressed against his chest, and his cheeks heated up slightly, because it was definitely more intimate than a "just friends" hug.
"I'm so sorry - I didn't know, Rob, I swear. I never would have... Why didn't you stop me?" Wally looked down at him, sternly, and the surprises just never seemed to end this week. "Your first kiss is supposed to be special. Memorable. I just... You could have told me no!" he sounded angrier with himself than he did with the brunette.
That was confusing.
Oh, it had been memorable, all right, he would never forget it. "But Wally.. it was special," he said stubbornly, leaning back so he could gaze up at his friend, "Because I had it with you."
The redhead's deep green eyes softened with equal parts sadness and affection, and unable to help it, Robin found himself looking longingly at the other boy's lips, not that he could tell, what with his sunglasses on. It seemed like the speedster had the same idea, though, because he was leaning down towards him then.
Robin met Wally's lips halfway this time. The redhead cupped his face with one hand as they moved together in a soft, slow kiss, that was just as electrifying as the first one.
This "ignoring their feelings" thing definitely wouldn't be easy.
This is a quick paced story so far, I'm well aware, but I don't plan to write in detail the stuff you've already seen on the show. This is more of the things that happen between on-screen missions - how the characters feel, and react around one another, than it is about me describing episodes. Besides, any fic featuring a speedster is bound to move fast.
For those of you wondering, since it won't be brought up a ton, Robin is demisexual in this story. If you don't know what it means, a quick Google search can tell you, but here's the gist of it: Demisexuals fall into an almost asexual or aromantic scale. They rarely care about physical features even if they notice the aesthetic quality of them. They generally only feel attraction to someone whom they've already developed a close, personal connection with, such as in formerly platonic friendships. They fall for who the person is on the inside and the desire for them comes later.
Also, being a thirteen year old, I'm sure that as mature as Robin tends to act, he still has moments where he's just like any other kid (such as pointing and laughing at Superboy getting his ass kicked by Black Canary, even though it was childish). I'm hoping I'll grow into him and Wally over time, but I'm trying to convey his youth without making him seem naïve.
if you're curious about Wally's low self image and his strange behaviour in this, then chapter 13 elaborates on it. Be sure to let me know what you think so far!