If I thought SHIELD was bad to me, it was nothing compared to what they'd done to Steve.

Less than a week after our trip to New York, he was sent on a mission with Alpha team.

I'd personally been requested by Rumlow for it as well. Something I instantly jumped on.

For me, it was a straightforward op. Standard building raid. It even had your typical arms dealer at the front of it. The guy whose name I'd now given up trying to pronounce. It was a regular Wednesday for us.

Yet, next to me in the mission briefing, Steve's legs were restlessly bouncing. Not enough to be noticeable to anyone else in the room. But I was sitting right next to him.

"It's going to be fun," I said under my breath as Rumlow went through the plan. "You have to leave me some people to shoot though. Fucking Barton only relieves so much of this renovation stress."

There wasn't an ounce of renovation stress for me. All I had to do was pick things that Clint asked my opinion about and enjoy watching him shirtless while he worked. This week they were ripping up the porch so the builder could start putting a new one in next week. Steve was also shirtless and much more efficient at ripping things out of the ground. I'd been enjoying my afternoons immensely sitting in a lounge chair and watching them work. Natasha even brought iced tea and snacks while we gleefully watched.

It hadn't hurt a few of those carefully cropped photos had gotten onto social media either. Anything to keep Constance mildly happy so she wasn't breathing down our necks.

Thankfully it was enough to make Steve huff under his breath in amusement. His bouncing leg slowed to a much more acceptable level.

It was the strangest thing sitting here next to Steve in his new Captain America uniform. SHIELD had done well and made it more suited for stealth than the red, white and blue number he had on for New York. He could probably do this entire mission by himself it was so straightforward. I'd heard plenty of stories of the Howling Commandos and their missions. I'd barely seen anything of Steve in New York. I was excited to see him in action for myself.

Not to mention I was happy to be doing something besides press work again. Even if I was going to be sitting up in a nest picking off strays. This mission was designed for the close combat-trained people.

And who better to lead that than Captain America?

"All right, let's get geared up and go," Rumlow's voice rang around the room, snapping my attention back to them. "Wheels up in an hour."

That was my cue to get ready. Without Clint there to have all of my weapons ready, I had to do that, plus our pre-flight. We weren't going far. Only to somewhere in Wisconsin that I wasn't paying attention to the name of. I had the flight coordinates and paid enough attention to know where I had to go during the whole thing.

"Want to come for a walk with me while I get ready?" I asked Steve as I got up.

He carried his shield everywhere he went. With him already dressed, he would be waiting on everyone else. It wasn't a surprise when he quickly agreed.

It was becoming easier to talk to Steve. The awkwardness of our initial meeting had melted away into something much more at ease. Yet with it all, I always felt an undercurrent of guilt. That my friendship wasn't entirely truthful. My secret mission was at the forefront of my mind more than ever right now. I hadn't made any progress at all until Rumlow had asked me to come today. It was better than nothing.

Currently, we were talking about the ideas for the pool in the backyard. I was explaining the outlay of Rumlow's impressive pool and wanted something similar. Steve was not seeing the appeal.

"But it's pretty," I protested with a small laugh as I pulled my sniper rifle down from the rack. "And…"

I trailed off as Clint's weapon rack caught my eye. It was missing his favourite collapsible bow and his normal quiver.

"What?" Steve asked, his gaze snapping over to where I was looking.

"I didn't think Hawk was going to the range today," I said with a careful tone. "He said he was going home."

And we were currently in dark mode for our mission. Rumlow made everyone put their cell phones in a bag that got locked in his safe.

I wracked my brain trying to think if anyone would be going to the range today. Bravo and Charlie team were both on missions. Clint didn't like anyone on Echo team enough to tag along with them. Natasha and Jared had a meeting with one of the contractors so I assumed Clint would be going with them.

"Maybe he's blowing off some steam at his range here," Steve suggested.

I shrugged. It was a possibility. Clint didn't like feeling like a third wheel when Jared and Natasha were doing things together. He'd been in a good mood since we'd come back from New York. That could all change in the blink of an eye.

I tried not to overthink it as I got ready. It had me concerned more than I wanted to show. I hated Rumlow's rule about phones. I'd never had that before with Coulson or Evans. Both trusted us to turn our phones off once we were in the air.

Getting a full STRIKE team took a lot more time to get ready than I was used to. At least Steve was good company while we waited for everyone else to gear up. It wasn't unlike other times I'd done missions with them. There was plenty of banter. This was the first straightforward mission I'd be on in a long time. I didn't feel any nerves at all. It was odd we weren't doing it under the cover of night. However, I'd be happy to be home for dinner.

It took another 45 minutes for everyone to get ready and I was smothering my yawns by then. I'd slept well last night and the yawns were from boredom. Even Steve was starting to look less ansty by the time everyone was walking to the hangar.

Walking up the ramp of the Quinjet, I was a lot less surprised than I thought I would be seeing the back of Clint's head in the pilot seat.

What did surprise me was Steve's snort of amusement as I stopped in my tracks.

"Barton."

Rumlow's sharp voice cut off any retort I had for Steve.

I glanced over to see Rumlow stalking up the ramp. For a moment I thought he was going to be pissed. But a second look at his face made him look exasperated rather than pissed.

"You aren't authorised to be on this mission," Rumlow continued, crossing his arms. "Even as a pilot."

"You aren't the boss of me."

I had to bite the inside of my cheek hard to stop the laughter from bubbling out of me at Clint's snarky remark. He hadn't even looked up from doing his pre-flight check. Something he hated doing. He must have been desperate to come.

Rumlow looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. I could see the question very clearly on his face. It was the same thing everyone was going to be asking for a long time. Was Clint going to be okay on this mission?

I gave Rumlow the barest of nods. No matter what I had Clint's back. If he had decided he needed to be on this mission for whatever reason, then I would back him up.

"I'm very glad I'm not the boss of you," Rumlow snarked back. "Get this bird in the air so we can all be home for dinner."

Clint gave an off-handed wave to show he'd heard but continued through his pre-flight. I knew it well enough that he was stalling. Something felt off.

Steve shot me another amused look as I continued to the cockpit. I made sure to close the door to give ourselves some privacy. Clint didn't look up until I sat down in the co-pilot seat.

"I walked in on Jared and Natasha making out." Clint pulled a face. "I am not spending all day with the knowledge of where Jared's fingers were while we pick out shit for the house."

I relaxed a little. For a moment I was worried it might have been something serious. Clint could still be odd about Natasha and Jared. Especially when they weren't being careful about their displays.

We needed to move into the new house sooner rather than later. My apartment was starting to feel smaller every single day.

"So you came to be my spotter instead," I teased him. "And co-pilot because you aren't flying."

Clint screwing his face up in disgust was the reaction I was hoping for. It made me laugh and the last of my tension drained from my body.

Clint's grumbling under his breath was kept to a minimum as we switched seats. Taking the flight controls suddenly felt like home. I'd missed this. No matter how boring the mission was, getting to fly before it was always appreciated.

Lifting into the early afternoon sky made me smile. Next to me, Clint was looking out the window looking relaxed. He even had a smile on his face. Andrew had been right that him having a project was good for his mental health. Clint was sleeping better. He was looking less haunted and coping better with the day to day of our lives.

Unlike me. Every day I felt like I was unravelling a little more. What I was meant to do for Fury was weighing on my mind heavily. I didn't feel like I was making a shred of progress. I hadn't heard anything from Fury, which was adding to my unease.

"What?"

Clint had caught me staring at him.

"You look relaxed today."

"Someone has been showing me that legendary lack of gag reflex which has been improving my sleep," Clint said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

It was so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't wrong. I knew he was deflecting but at least it was with humour.

"I saw you give Rumlow a nod," Clint added, the humour falling away from his tone.

My humour quickly fell away as I felt the sudden shift in conversation. I held Clint's gaze as I tried to work out how this was going to go. He didn't look angry. Just thoughtful and a little sad.

"It's going to be like that for a long time, isn't it?" Clint asked me quietly.

It was. No one was going to trust Clint or Jared. SHIELD agents were the worst for holding grudges. There was no sugarcoating it. They both killed agents who had friends and family. No matter the reason, those people were never going to forgive Clint and Jared for that wrongdoing.

"It is." I couldn't lie. "But you've got me. And I will always have your back."

The look Clint gave me made those stupid butterflies come back. The same ones that plagued me when we got told about our last mission. It was unnerving how much emotion that man could put into one look.

"And I've always got yours," Clint said softly. "No matter what."

I swallowed hard. I wanted to tell him everything about what I had to do with Fury. It was plaguing me today.

So was that other thing that I was getting good at ignoring.

"You better." I had to lighten the mood otherwise it was going to come spilling out. "Who else is going to do all the cooking and make me forget my name with his tongue?"

Clint's smirk was nothing short of playful. If we were in private it'd be a smirk that would have me naked in no time.

"Don't give me that look," I warned, trying to stop the smile tugging on my lips. "It is not comfortable to have sex in these cockpits. Believe me, I've tried."

Clint's deep laugh sent a thrill right down to the tips of my toes. He was too damn sexy when he was like this. It was no wonder he had no problems finding female company when he was going through his slutty phase. He made you feel like you were the only person in the world. He could be incredibly charming when he wanted to be.

I hated it was working.

Our conversation fell into easier topics as we flew to our destination. Unlike the beautiful day we had left behind in DC, we landed in freezing wind blowing a gale with some drizzly rain. Autumn was starting to make itself known. I wrinkled my nose as I set the Quinjet down. The easy mission just got shitty.

Clint had both of our weapons ready as I powered down.

I squeezed Steve's shoulder as I walked out of the Quinjet. I had a hike to get to my vantage point so I was meant to leave first with Tex.

Tex stood up as I got closer.

"Sit."

Clint's command from behind me made me jump in surprise.

However, it didn't have the same effect on Tex. He stood his ground, scowling at Clint.

"That's not the plan, I'm Kari's spotter."

Tex was taller than Clint. But when Clint drew himself up he made a far more menacing picture.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Steve taking a step forward. I doubted this would be anything more than some male posturing. Rumlow was still out of my line of vision. He'd be the first to step in if he thought anything was going to get out of line.

"Like Kari needs a spotter like you. All you want to do is spend the next hour staring at her ass," Clint said with a snort of disgust.

That was a little out of line, even for Clint. Tex's supposed crush used to be a teasing point. Instead, I could hear only what I could describe as a possessive tone in Clint's voice.

A shiver went up my spine as I thought back to Germany while he was under Loki's control. He had said then he'd be back for what was his. Right now, it felt like it was making his territory very well known.

I didn't know if I found it hot or infuriating.

"Enough."

Rumlow had enough of their bullshit already. He came into my line of vision a second later.

"Kari, you take Barton for your spotter," Rumlow ordered. "Tex, you can wait here in reserve."

The look Clint gave Tex was nothing short of smug satisfaction. I rolled my eyes and walked away without another word. Out of the corner of my eye, I could practically see the steam coming out of Tex's ears at being left behind.

Clint's footsteps came behind me only a few seconds later.

We walked in silence. Clint was lagging half a step behind me so I couldn't get a look at his face to try and judge what he was thinking.

I wasn't mad at him. If anything it made my feelings far more confused than they already were. Clint was always protective of me. But this was something else. Whatever it was that we had was getting out of hand far quicker than I ever anticipated.

"It is a very good ass to stare at." I decided to break the silence before it got too awkward.

Or I could overthink this any further.

"It's a spectacular ass to stare at," Clint confirmed, falling into step beside me.

His face was smoothed over in an easy expression. Glancing at him, he gave me a lopsided smile as we walked together in the freezing drizzle.

I didn't want to get into anything five minutes before we had a mission. Instead, I returned the smile.

Clint's lopsided smile grew into something more sincere.

"And it's all yours to grab," I added as an afterthought. "As often as you want."

That made his smile turn smug.

Our light conversation from the trip here with long forgotten as we fell into a comfortable silence while getting into position. It wasn't far from the building we'd be storming. Only 300 yards away. Shooting from this distance is something I could do with my eyes closed now.

It was funny to think of how far I'd come. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect this to become my life. What's more, I was comfortable with what I had to do with this job.

I switched my comms on as we settled down. Clint was sitting cross legged next to me with a pair of binoculars. I'd given him a brief while we flew here. Not that there was much to this mission. I just really wanted to see Steve in action.

There was the usual quiet chatter of pre-mission moving into position. I could hear Steve over the comms sounding every bit like I imagined Captain America would.

The second before starting a mission always felt like it stretched out forever. Today was no different. Everyone was in position and I could see Steve poised and ready to go.

"Mark."

On Rumlow's command, Steve burst through the doors.

All the stories and newsreels I had seen never captured what seeing Steve in action was really like. For a man of his size, he moved with the same grace and agility as Natasha. His blows literally sent people flying across the room. I didn't get to see everything but what I did see was impressive.

I managed to get one shot off. It was nearly pointless. My bullet travelled across the mid-afternoon and hit its target. However, the person next to him threw his gun down and put his hands up.

It was all over even before it started. A mission like this normally would have taken us at least an hour by the time we were all in position. Steve tore threw them in less than five minutes.

"Next time we have a shitty mission we'll just take Steve with us so we can be home for dinner," Clint said with a chuckle. "Holy shit, that was beautiful."

Glancing through the scope again, I could see Steve standing off to the side with Rumlow. He wasn't even breathing heavily. Especially for a guy who just ripped through a small army with his bare hands.

I was a little envious.

Clint was right though. We'd be home in time for a late dinner by the time we got back.

"We should invite him to dinner then," I suggested as I started to pack up my sniper rifle. "And we need to invite a few people around to the new place to grill some steaks before the weather turns gross."

That perked Clint up. Something I was always happy to see. While I was enjoying planning the pool, Clint was building a kitchen that any home chef would be thrilled about. He hadn't started on the outdoor kitchen that would complement the pool yet. Although I did notice a fancy-looking new barbecue appear a few days ago that was hastily shoved out on the back porch.

"Kari, rally back to the Quinjet so we can get home," Rumlow's voice crackled over the radio before Clint could say anything.

The misty rain was starting to pick up so I wasn't going to argue.

"Let's go," I said to Clint. "I'd much rather be wet in a very different way tonight."

That got another one of Clint's private smiles that I enjoyed so much. Not wanting to waste time, I started to pack up. It didn't take us long to head back to the Quinjet.

As we walked up the ramp, I noticed Steve giving us an odd look. It wasn't aimed at me though. It was aimed at Clint. It took me a moment to realise why. Clint was carrying my sniper rifle. Like he always did. It was so commonplace that no one noticed it anymore. I was always teased about whether I could lift the Chey-Tac when I had it. No one had touched my new sniper rifle though to see how light it was.

If it was Bravo team I would have made a smart-ass comment about Clint holding my purse. But it wasn't so I held my tongue. I went to the cockpit and started to get ready while everyone got busy putting their gear away.

It didn't long to get into the air and head back home. It was a very strange feeling not to be exhausted post mission. Clint was chatty which made the flight back even quicker.

Steve and Rumlow were both waiting for us as we disembarked.

"We're going to IHOP," Steve informed us as we came closer. "You coming?"

I could go for a big stack of pancakes. Judging by the look on Steve's face he didn't want to go by himself.

"I'm in," Clint said before I could answer. "Waffles sound amazing. Kari?"

"Sure."

It was an easy answer for me.

"I need to speak to you before we go anywhere, Kari," Rumlow cut in.

He didn't look pissed. It wasn't like I had done anything on the mission that would get me into trouble.

"I'll take this back if you want to head up," Clint offered, lifting my sniper rifle. "I'll meet you in the car park."

I guess that was now decided for me. I followed Rumlow a step behind, mildly annoyed I didn't have my phone to pass the time. I knew this conversation wasn't going to be something to have in the open halls. The Triskelion had ears. Our relationship being open knowledge was bad enough. What I guessed Rumlow wanted to speak to me about didn't need to be heard by anyone else.

"I'm guessing this isn't you wanting to be invited to our place to try out the new fancy barbecue that Hawk and Jared think they snuck on my credit card," I joked as we closed the door behind us.

"Well, now you've offered," Rumlow said lightly as he walked to his desk. "I'm not going to say no. Especially since you're going to live ten minutes from me as soon as you fix that monstrosity you call a house."

I smiled, taking the seat across from him.

"You know," Rumlow continued, as he also sat down. "When Barton does shit like that, it puts my balls in a vice from a lot of angles. It's not just Evans, it's everyone above too. Not to mention my team will push back against why he can bend the rules like that."

There it was. I knew it wasn't going to be an ass kicking. It had to be something though.

"I know," I said simply. What else could I say?

Rumlow sighed, putting his elbows on the table as he stared at me.

"Is he a liability in the field?"

I knew that question was coming as well. I knew I'd be answering it for a long time to come. No one was going to trust Clint one hundred percent ever again. Even if he proved himself time and time again, there'd still be a lingering doubt in everyone's mind.

Getting Rumlow to trust me entirely was also something else I needed to do. I knew what I had to do. It was going to be another thing that came at a personal cost.

"When Riley died the only thing keeping me together was being busy at work." I stopped to swallow hard. The words already threatening to stick in my throat. "And when I wasn't, I was standing on the edge of the roof of my building wondering if anyone would believe if my fall was an accident or not."

Horror flitted across Rumlow's face so quickly I nearly missed it.

"Jared made sure after that I kept busy. Then Yelena happened. Then Stark again. And Thor in New Mexico. Then the mission with Aldon."

It was getting harder and harder to not let my voice wobble. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime ago since Riley died. Other days it felt like no time had passed at all and the grief was still as raw as the day it happened. I hated using Riley's memory for this.

"It just kept going and going. There was nothing but time and being kept busy that helped me adjust to my new life." I managed to keep my voice steady. "That's exactly what Clint needs right now. He's no more of a liability now than when you took me to Egypt to torture that guy."

Rumlow blew out a long breath as he leaned back in his chair. His face was closed off, giving me no indication of what he was thinking. I could have blown this by being truthful.

"Not to mention, I'm the actual liability if I snap." I decided to push a little more. "That's why I'm here at SHIELD in the first place."

It still blew my mind how one of the worst moments of my life had turned into what I have now. I couldn't even begin to imagine what my life would be like if those idiots had tried to drug me.

"Barton can also make anything into a weapon," Rumlow said dryly. "It is a lot less dramatic than your winter wonderland though."

I pulled a face at that. Rumlow's lips quirked up briefly but his face didn't give me any other indication of what he was thinking.

"There is a lot of solo work coming up," Rumlow continued. "Things that fall into the odd category between STRIKE and Specialist. Time and time again, yours and Barton's names come up."

The mission from a few weeks ago where I made the best shot of my life came to mind. I was a little mad that it wasn't allowed to be counted as a world record. I smashed the previous record

"And a lot of missions where no one can work out how to accomplish it. Barton is a tactical genius. If you think it'd be good for him, I have some highly classified shit coming up that someone needs to work out how to accomplish it."

There was no hiding the surprise on my face at how quickly our conversation had turned. Now my curiosity was more than piqued.

"I'm all ears," I said instantly.

I was excited for more than the missions coming. It seems I'd earned a little more trust from Rumlow.

"Ever heard of a place called Madripoor?"

Authors Note

Holy shit, what is this thing? Another chapter and it hasn't been a year?

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much everyone who reached out after the last chapter. My life is slowly getting back to normal. I feel like I can breath again. And for some reason X-Men 97 seemed to get my inspiration back. I have no idea why but I love it. It's also probably inspired the next few chapters too.

Until next time.