More Than You Know
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still
Photograph by Ed Sheeran
Mac wasn't sure when he fell asleep but he knows he did as he is jerked awake suddenly when over the intercom he hears a female voice calling out, "Code blue! Code blue!" He feels his heart drop and feels like his lungs have suddenly become too small for him breathe. Beside him, he can see Don visibly panicking as well. The look of terror and devastation was clear in Don's eyes. Mac was reminded that despite the fact that Amaryllis was his daughter, Don and she had been dating for over six months now, he barely knew Amaryllis.
"Family of Amaryllis Potter-Black?" a voice cut through their panic. Mac's head snapped toward the direction of the voice. He stood.
"That's us," Mac told the doctor. "I'm her father." When he could see the doctor was about to protest that she was an orphan, Don stepped in.
"He just found out because of the explosion," Don explained. "They already know each other because of me. How is she?" Relieved the doctor answered.
"Due to the explosion, she has several serious injuries," the doctor explained. "She is stable but we will be keeping her for observation. She has a Grade 2 concussion. It is important to know that a Grade 2 concussion can feature brief memory loss, headaches, and confusion in addition to the most common symptoms which include dizziness, nausea, motion sickness, blurry vision, and impaired balance. Once we are sure that she will be okay, we can release her but she cannot be on her own because of the severity of her injuries. Her left leg is broken, she has several burns – mainly second degree but a couple third degree burns – that we want to keep an eye on for infection, her right arm is dislocated, and she has bruises all over. It'll be some time before she will be back up on her feet."
"But she will eventually be alright?" Don asked. The doctor nodded.
"She will have to go through a lot of physical therapy but she will be fine," the doctor agreed.
"Is she awake?" Mac asked. The doctor shook his head.
"No she is unconscious," the doctor pointed out. "She is being moved to a room right now."
The waiting room was quiet despite the time of day. Amaryllis had woken up an hour ago and doctors had been with her since. They were conducting test after test. To their frustration, the doctors were not telling Don or Mac anything. When she had woken up, she had not recognized Don or Mac. The doctor told them it was possible she was suffering from amnesia or she was just confused before kicking them out of her room. While Don paced the waiting room, Mac was sitting in a chair staring off outside.
"What if I'm not a good father?" Mac suddenly wondered aloud. Don stopped and looked over at Mac. "I mean what if that is why Lily never told me I was going to be a father? What if she saw something I did not? I do not know her and she does not know me. I have missed so much of her life. I missed her first word, the first time she walked, her first day of school, and so much more. What if Amaryllis wants nothing to do with me?"
"Mac she already knows you," Don reminded him as he took a seat next to Mac. "Amaryllis and I have been dating for six months now. Do you think I have said nothing about you to her? No! I have talked to her about you a lot. Did you forget that she doesn't know what it's like to be a daughter either?"
"Yo Lindsey, what are you working on?" Danny asked as he put his gloves on. He had just finished catching up on his own cases and decided to help Lindsey out.
"I am working on the Walsh store bombing," Lindsey told him, slightly distracted as she sorted through the debris they had brought in. Danny nodded and was about to start looking at some evidence Lindsey had bagged when he looked at the white board. Lindsey had already pinned up the pictures of the victims, injured and dead. He was stunned to see Amaryllis's picture on the board.
"Lindsey why is she on the board?" Danny asked directing her attention to Amaryllis's picture on the board.
"She was injured in the bombing," Lindsey told him. "She was outside the store when the bomb went off. Why?"
"I know her," Danny admitted as he yanked his gloves and rushed out of the room. He hung up his lab coat and grabbed the package from inside of his locker before heading to the hospital. It took him only a few minutes of wondering through the hospital to find a nurse who knew where Amaryllis was recovering. He was walking up to the door when a doctor walked out. The man did not even notice him as he went past him and down the hall. He blinked and headed into the room. He could see her flipping through channels from her bed, somewhat awkwardly with her left hand.
"Hey Chicca, what are you watching?" Danny asked as he plopped into the seat next to her bed. Not having expected him to walk in or even heard him, she jumped.
"Danny, what are you doing here?" Amaryllis wondered.
"Well I'm a CSI and I was rather surprised to find out that you were in an explosion earlier today," Danny told her with a raised eyebrow. "I was even more surprised to discover that you are the same Amaryllis that Don is dating." Amaryllis blinked in surprise.
"That makes you Danny the CSI he works with," Amaryllis realized. "Small world." Danny tilted his head in acknowledgement.
"Something is bothering you," Danny noted. Amaryllis sighed.
"I was on the phone with Don when the explosion happened," Amaryllis told him. "According to the doctor when I woke up, I didn't recognize him or Mac. I may have freaked out at them a little." Danny winced.
"It'll be okay, both of them will understand especially considering the situation," Danny pointed out. Amaryllis sighed.
"I guess," Amaryllis agreed. "I just wish I could change things, make my past a little easier so I don't freak out on every person I see when I wake up and can't remember everything." Danny handed her a photo album. Bewildered she started flipping through it. There were a couple photos at the beginning of them when they first met and a couple of other situations – like when she tried to teach him how to make treacle tart. He had failed spectacularly.
"You can't rewrite your past any better than I could and you shouldn't," Danny pointed out. "Your past makes you who you are and Don knows that. You should too. Make the best of what you can, remember that." Amaryllis smiled.
"Thank you Danny," Amaryllis told him.
Amaryllis was sure she had seen far too much hospital TV. She was contemplating if she should try reading a book despite the fact that the complications from her injuries would make that pretty difficult. She was frowning at the book on her bedside table when she heard a knock on her door. She looked up to see Mac standing hesitantly in the doorway, nervously.
"Come on in Detective Taylor," Amaryllis said. He cast a weary look to something she could not see but walked in and closed the door behind him. He wrung his hand for a couple of minutes before he spoke.
"In the course of the investigation we came across some information in relation to your family," Mac told her. "Were you aware that there was a chance James Potter might not be your biological father?" Amaryllis sighed.
"My mom's journal said as much," she admitted. "A few months into their marriage, they found out that James could not have children. Before he went missing / was believed to be dead, they were looking into other possibilities of having children. James and Lily promised each other that if anything happened to the other, they would try to move on. Mom did so about a month after she was told James was dead. She never stated the name of the person wanting to keep him safe because of the people after her and James, especially after James was presumed dead. I know him by his nickname, Lieutenant. What did you find out?"
"That I am your biological father," Mac admitted. Amaryllis stared at him, stunned. "Do you…did she ever say why she never told me that I was a father?"
"Just after she found out she was pregnant with me, her and James were almost killed," Amaryllis recalled, stunned "James obviously knew that I wasn't biologically his but he adopted me because he didn't want his line to end. He really loved Lily and would do anything for her. Because of that narrow escape, they decided to not tell you so that I would have at least one parent alive. They told my father's and mother's two closest friends your name but never wrote it down to be safe. All four of them either died, was falsely sent to prison, or was tortured to insanity before they could tell me the name."
Amaryllis was sure that her handwriting looked like when she was first beginning to write back when she was a little child. Of course, because she was using her left hand, it made sense.
"Just one last page," the nurse told him. Amaryllis sighed as she managed to scratch her somewhat awkward looking signature. By her side, Don was packing her stuff that had been brought to the hospital. Sitting on a chair was clean clothes of her own. Once she was officially signed out, Don would help her get dressed. It would be some time before she could do everyday things on her own. Already it had been a source of argument between Don and her, and Mac and her. She was not looking forward to having to be helped while she recovered.
She was hoping that a healer might be able to speed up the recovery process, but not so fast as it would be suspicious. While she recovered either Don or Mac would be with her. Although Don would be helping her get ready to leave the hospital, it would be Mac who would drive her home and spend the rest of the day with her. It was easier for Mac to get some time off considering she was his newly discovered daughter. She gave the nurse a tight smile and watched the nurse leave.
"Alright let's get you out of bed so you can get dressed," Don said. It took some time before they were able to work around her injuries and get her dressed. She was glad they had her take some pain medication before she got dressed; as she was sure, they had agitated a couple of them in the process. Don was tying her shoes when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," Amaryllis called out. Don helped her into a wheelchair. The door opened and Mac walked in. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed she was already out of her hospital gown and in her everyday clothes. Don paid little attention to Mac's arrival and was looking at his phone. Amaryllis looked at his phone curiously.
"New case?" She wondered. Don nodded. Mac was surprised to note that automatically Amaryllis leaned over and Don kissed her before leaving as though they had done this thousands of times, Mac realized they probably had. "Stay safe and make sure I get a call if something happens." Don squeezed her hand.
"You'll be the first to know," Don said. He kissed her cheek and then left.
"You're his emergency contact," Mac realized.
"I am as he is mine," Amaryllis said. "You are my second emergency contact." Mac tilted his head.
"Good to know," Mac acknowledged. By the time they arrived at Don's apartment, Mac was extremely uncomfortable. He was becoming more and more aware of how close Don and Amaryllis were. Normally he would be happy for Don but Amaryllis was his daughter, his newly found daughter. He did not really know her all that well and he was already losing her. Once Amaryllis was comfortable in the living room, Mac headed to the kitchen to make something to eat for the two of them. Even though he had only been in Don's home a few times, he noticed the changes in the kitchen right away. He quickly put together lunch and brought the plates to the living room.
"You like to cook?" Mac asked while they were eating lunch. Amaryllis looked at him stunned.
"How did you know that?" Amaryllis wondered.
"Noticed some dishes that weren't here the last time I was here and they were high quality," Mac commented. "I figured they were yours."
"Correct," Amaryllis, agreed. "I also like to bake so you'll find those dishes in there as well. Don is a quick study, especially desert." She continued eating her lunch while Mac studied the living room. He realized that he could see Amaryllis's touch everywhere in Don's home.
"You two seem to be moving pretty quickly," Mac said. Amaryllis paused in her eating to study her father's face.
"I don't see how that is your business," she pointed out trying to seem calm, her white knuckles betraying her state of mind.
"I am your father and you shouldn't be rushing things Amaryllis," Mac snapped.
"You know Don," Amaryllis pointed. "You have known him longer than you have known me. You have known him for years! What is your problem?" Mac did not answer, except for the slam of the door that followed him. Amaryllis glared at the door but finished her lunch. When Mac had not come back by the time she needed to use the restroom, she was forced to call Don. Don was not thrilled when he realized that Mac had left her sitting in the living room with no way of moving around.
The click of the door was quiet but distinct to Don's ears. Mac was back. He heard the door shut and a minute later Mac was standing in front of Don. The stunned look on his face told Don that he had not realized that Don was home. He had only been expecting Amaryllis. Mac cleared his throat.
"Where is Amaryllis?" Mac asked. Don would not even look at him and it had him worried.
"In the bedroom asleep," Don answered. "Her medicine knocked her out not long after I got here. Imagine my surprise when I get a call from her saying you had left and she could not get to the bathroom."
"Let me explain, Don," Mac began to protest.
"Now I know you weren't called out, I made sure," Don continued, ignoring Mac. "Amaryllis told me that you started freaking out about how "fast" she and I were going. What the hell, Mac? Am I not enough for her now that you know for sure she is your daughter? Just last week you were asking me when I was going to propose!"
"I freaked out," Mac told him. "I freaked out that I was losing her before I even knew her. I took a walk to calm down, I had not realized the time; I should have. I would like to apologize to her." Don looked like he was in no mood to accommodate Mac and was about say so when both were startled by a scream from the bedroom. Before even fully registering their actions, both Don and Mac were grabbing their guns and rushing into the bedroom. On the bed, Amaryllis was fighting the bedding in the midst of a nightmare. Don holstered his gun quickly and went to her side. Mac was startled when he began singing to Amaryllis in Italian. He wasn't sure what Don was singing but it seemed to be calming Amaryllis down. At the end of the song, she seemed to be waking.
"Hey, I'm here," Don softly told her. Amaryllis smiled at him and attempted to reach for his hand. However her hand was tangled so Don took her hand instead. "Which one?"
"Ron and Hermione," she told him. Don nodded and carefully crawled into the bed with her, careful to not jostle her injuries. He locked his gun into a safe next to the bed and wrapped his arms around her.
"Different then past ones?" Don asked. She nodded, shaking. Don pulled her closer to him. Mac hesitantly stood in the door, feeling like an intruder watching them. Mac watched as Don softly sang to her and as she drifted back to sleep. When she was asleep, Don looked over at Mac and it was then Mac truly understood what he had failed to earlier. Don and Amaryllis had both been through a lot individually and together they supported each other and loved each other in any way possible. Just like he had had with Lily, however brief it had been in retrospect.