Rated T for Eijun's potty mouth.


Eijun turns the doorknob to his room and tugs. "Huh?" He tries again, and then a third time, with no more success at getting inside. "What the hell, Kuramochi-senpai!" he shouts at the door. His roommate's off to "study" with a group of second-years, like Eijun doesn't know he only went because Natsukawa-chan said she'd be studying math with them! Kuramochi had promised that he'd leave the door unlocked when he borrowed Eijun's key after practice.

Well, "borrowed" suggests that Eijun had given up the key willingly…

"You're the dummy who left your key in the room today," Eijun huffs to an absent Kuramochi. "I should've just made you wait until I was done running after practice!"

But complaining won't get Eijun into his room. Even if he knew where Kuramochi had gone to study, Eijun is sure that Kuramochi's punishment for interrupting his piss-poor attempts at flirting would be extra gory, so that idea's out. However, Sawamura Eijun will not be defeated by a mere door! There must be another way in!

Eijun's face scrunches as he thinks, staring at the metal number 5 on the center of the door. He could try… well maybe if… eh, that probably wouldn't work. Oh, what about… mm, no, he doesn't have something that could break down a door. Damn. Nothing's coming to him.

His gaze wanders and lands on the window. "Aha!" It's open just a crack so the room doesn't get stuffy, and Eijun quickly drops his bags and clicks the release for the screen. He leans the screen up against the wall and slips his fingers between the glass and the frame. The window is old and doesn't slide all the way, so Eijun yanks until it's as open as it's going to be.

Eijun steps back to size it up. "More than halfway, huh… I can fit through, no problem."

His bag hits the floor inside his room with a dull thump. Eijun's head passes through the window easily and he blinks as his eyes adjust to the near-darkness of Room 5. It takes a bit of sideways twisting, but his shoulders eventually slide through. He holds his breath and wriggles until his stomach is resting on the sill, legs dangling outside the window. Phew! This was tighter than he'd thought – time for a little break. Eijun takes a couple breaths and relaxes.

Does it count as breaking-and-entering if this is his own room? It sounds cooler to say that he is, like it's a secret mission. Super spy Sawmaura Eijun! He chases villains across rooftops, can camouflage himself in jungles and deserts, and takes out trained squads of agents barehanded! Yeah!

Okay, back to breaking-and-entering. He shoves back against the wall with his elbows and –

Doesn't move an inch.

Uh oh.

"Definitely not stuck," Eijun tells himself before he can panic. "Nope, this isn't a problem. If I just wiggle a little bit…" Ow, ow, that's his hips facing off against glass and metal! "Shit. Oh, shit. Goddamn!" He pushes and squirms with no avail.

And is that footsteps he hears? Fucking hell, here Eijun is with his ass stuck out the window and one of his teammates is about to walk by! Maybe it's Harucchi. He'd probably help, right? And not mention it in front of the team. Yeah, it'd be okay if this little incident never gets brought up again.

Eijun hears a familiar snicker behind him and his hope evaporates.


"How's it going, Sawamura?" Kazuya asks casually, letting amusement color his tone. He'd been on his way to bother Higasa about his rumored girlfriend, but this is much more interesting.

"Screw you."

"That's not a respectful way to talk to your senpai."

"Screw you, Miyuki-senpai."

Kazuya chuckles. "Dare I even ask about this unexpected scene?" And what a scene it is – Kazuya shamelessly appreciates Sawamura's ass as the pitcher tries to wiggle his way out of this predicament.

"You'd just make fun of me if I told you!"

"Mmm, wouldn't want to be the butt of a joke, huh?"

"This is not the moment for puns, Miyuki Kazuya! I'm in serious peril!"

"Oh?" It seems like the only real danger here is to Sawamura's ego, because Kazuya is never going to let him live this down. Never.

"The window doesn't open any further and I can't move in either direction!"

Kazuya eyes the window briefly before flipping his phone open. "I guess you are quite the damsel in distress."

"Are you going to help at all?"

"No way, I want to see how this turns out." He lets the camera function load. Sawamura pulls a lot of ridiculous stunts, but in Kazuya's mind there's no such thing as too much blackmail material.

"Damn it! Couldn't you be nice for once, Miyuki Kazuya?!"

"Nope." Kazuya's camera clicks and he lifts up his glasses to examine the image. Honestly, he couldn't have planned it better himself; when would he ever again have such a fantastic excuse to take photos of Sawamura's butt?

"Did you just take a picture?!" Sawamura screeches, his squirms resuming with twice as much animation as before. "You're incorrigible!"

"Ooh, even you have fancy words in your vocabulary."

"Someone get out here and kick the shit out of this asshole!"

Kazuya laughs, saving the photo and holding up his phone to take more. Maybe he should get video footage too. There's another pun in there somewhere about videoing Sawamura's posterior for posterity. "Everyone's used to you getting overexcited, Sawamura. No one's coming."

"Then go away! I don't need a rude bastard mocking me while I try to figure this out!"

"Haha, nope, this is hilarious."

"I'm not here for your entertainment! This is a real problem! Do you see me laughing?!"

It's probably a good thing that Sawamura can't see the wicked grin that spreads across Kazuya's face in response to that. If Sawamura's not expecting anything, this will be even better.


Eijun should have figured out that something was wrong when Miyuki didn't answer him. As it is, though, he's just thankful when the catcher stops talking.

He feels a tug on his shoe and tenses. "What are you doing?!" Miyuki just snickers and pulls off first one shoe and then the other. "No, seriously, what are you planning?!"

There's a moment of lull in activity, where Eijun is struck with the horrible fear that Miyuki's going to leave Eijun sticking out the window in just his underwear or something.

Instead, Eijun feels fingers on the bottom of his feet. He jerks away, but the fingers follow, speeding up their motion until Eijun is laughing hysterically.

"Ahahahaha, stop, stop it!" Eijun's fists pound the inside of the window as he starts wriggling again to get away. "Miyuki, stop, I'm ticklish!"

"Oh, really, I couldn't tell," Miyuki returns, deadpan.

"I'm, hahaha, going to make you regret this! Argh, ahaha!"

"I thought this wasn't a laughing matter, Sawamura. What's gotten into you?" Eijun's foot connects with Miyuki's chin. "Ow! What a kick. I even bit my tongue." He doesn't stop his attack on Eijun's feet, though.

"Serves you right for ti– ahahaha tickling people who can't defend themselves!"

Miyuki laughs. "What about behind the knees, are you ticklish there?"

"Do you want to die?! I'll tickle you, ahaha, until you can't breathe! You'll be begging me to stop!"

"Sure, sure."


Youichi slides his key into the lock and frowns, hearing a series of bangs from the other side of the door. What the heck is Sawamoron doing in there?

He opens the door and immediately jumps out of the way as Miyuki, of all people, comes tumbling out, laughing like a loon. Miyuki lands on the ground and Sawamura pounces, pinning the catcher to the ground as he relentlessly tickles his teammate.

"This better not be something weird," Youichi warns. Tickling aside, Miyuki looks way too pleased to have Sawamura sitting on him.

"Hah?!" Sawamura's attention snaps up to Youichi, scowling. "Something weird?! This whole thing is your fault!" Then he jumps to his feet, sticks his tongue out at Miyuki, and slams the door on his way back into Room 5.

At the sound of the lock clicking, Youichi's brow knits. "He… he does realize that I have my key now, right?"

"Ah, let him have his moment." Miyuki's still sprawled on the ground, completely boneless and looking satisfied.

"That's surprisingly merciful of you."

Miyuki grins broadly. "Nah, I'm just waiting for his reaction when you ask how he got into his room with no key."