Howdy everyone ! ^.^ It is I! No! Your eyes aren't playing games! I am back and glad to inform you that not only this chapter is, as you can see, HERE AT LAST, but also that the next one is on it's way and things have finally started to make sense and I honestly can't wait to write these next chapters and I can't wait for you to read them, even more! Without further ado (cause I have probably used every single drop of that tbh) enjoy!

Throughout her whole life, in all those years she spent living and breathing on this planet (this planet but in different dimensions no less) Regina had longed for several things. She had longed for them, missed them, wanted them and every so often, through blood and tears and regret, she had attained them. If only for a while. She had longed for the love of a mother who hadn't been maternal to her at all. She had craved for her affections more than any thoughts could explain. Because she shouldn't want anything from her. Because her mother was bad news in every form she ever took. And yet she couldn't help herself. She was always hoping that she would, one day, find herself loved by the one person who had claimed that she wanted what was best for her,the same person who never took a second to ask Regina what she, herself, thought that "best thing''actually was or should have been. Questions were not Mother's thing, that's for sure.

She had longed for the freedom she wasn't destined to own 'till it was too late for her mistakes to be undone.

She had longed to feel love running through her veins, oozing from her pores, engulfing her, making her whole. She had longed and longed and dreamed and hoped and when she had finally found someone to share her heart with, to love and be loved in return, that was taken from her as well. And then she was left to missing…missing Daniel and missing those long gone pieces of her heart, the part of her that died in those stables with him, the part that was buried with him in a land where the promise of a different life was formed and then was turned to ashes, the same ashes that had once been his beating heart.

She had longed for a family. Had wanted it more than anything, as she realized later on. And she had gotten one. She had gotten Henry. But how much weight can a child's shoulders carry? How much 'till everything crumbles to the ground? How much 'till he goes looking for another parent, a "real" one, the one who gave him life and flesh and blood. A parent not yet stained by bad choices? How much?

And then the missing returned… and the longing… and the wanting. How much loss can a heart hold until it loses itself? And yet that wasn't the end. Because endings don't feel that way. They don't taste like hope. And there was hope with Henry. There was hope each time he asked of her, when he didn't want her to get hurt, when he put her first, even after everything that had happened between them, even after his own precious - so very very precious - heart was bruised. That's when she realized that that's what love felt like. What love feels like.

Those were the kind of thoughts that carried her towards the thing she hadn't realized she had been wanting, needing, craving, surrendering herself to it, until it was left bruised on a forest floor on her behalf… and the thing is, what she'd been wanting, needing, craving, surrendering herself to wasn't a thing at all…not unless a pulsating heart, a pair of the bluest of eyes, a set of strong arms that had held her and protected her, unless all those things that made Robin a human, could be considered a thing. And who would ever make such a mistake? It hadn't been that long since she had left the stables and her riding companion behind, heading straight towards her chambers where she'd changed to a more fitting outfit for the council meeting that she was now on her way to. Riding boots turned into sensual heels, pants and coats exchanged for lavish velvet gowns, her collarbone and her shoulders left to be kissed by the crisp autumnal air, the long-sleeved charcoal material hugging her curves in all the ways that made her feel like the woman she had become, tight fitting until it reached her middle, three golden stars encircling her slender waist as if they had dropped from the night sky merely for this occasion, and there it opened to a slightly flared out skirt, the total blackness fragmented by strings of gold that ended up multiplying as if the gown was baptized in gold, as if the sun was kissing the ground she was standing. She had always been considered beautiful, of that there was no denying - and those who were foolish enough to state otherwise no one believed anyway. And yet, stunning as she might have been in the eyes of others, while looking herself in the mirror, she always found something lacking, something utterly misplaced, something definitely missing. Yes, people had always admitted that the looks of the Queen were unrivalled and even when the evil moniker accompanied her title, still there was no denying that if only looks could kill she need not another weapon. And yet, it had taken such a long time for her to see what the others were already admiring, to make it truly hers, and then amplify it. For her accepting it made her all the more beautiful. And not just beautiful. She was arresting. Captivating. Unique. Infinite. Her hair long past the middle of her back was left free in loose curls, flowing with her movements, a dance that her gown shares, billowing in the wind, making her appear as if she is floating. And maybe she is. Her step quick but certain, solid on a floor that her body seemed to remember instinctively even though the situation since she last stepped foot on it had much changed, her heels reverberating on the stone walls and matching the beats of her heart, ever increasing, faster, faster- until…

Until she was there. Double doors open, voices carrying thoughts and worries, candles lit, backs turned to her and fronts facing her and the sky as clear as ever staring back at her through those eyes that she hadn't been able to stop picturing within the tight confines of her mind in all of her waking hours. Brown getting lost in blue, the world seizing movement, time stopping, turning back, replaying again and again and again the moment she first saw him sitting in between empty seats, locking his gaze with hers and her giving something to him that she hadn't realized how ready she was to finally surrender.

Mulan, Red, Granny, Leroy (of course ), Archie, Snow, Charming, Robin and her. She hadn't sat right next to him even though every single one of her instincts was screaming at her to close all distances. With Snow on her left, whose left in turn was occupied by Charming and Archie on her right, Robin was left sitting right next to the latter, two seats away from her though it felt as if both an eternal void and no distance at all was separating them. The remaining seats were taken by the annoying dwarf, the shape shifter, and the warrior. In all honesty she hadn't really been listening to what was currently being discussed. It's not that she didn't find the topics interesting it was just that…well, okay! she didn't really find them interesting at all, but the main reason for her lack of concentration was sitting two seats away, stealing glances at her when he thought no one was paying attention, his body gravitating towards her, though if that was conscious or not she couldn't precisely tell, hers equally attuned to his presence, and poor Archie being rendered a sandwich of untold feelings. "Sandwich"? Seriously? God she really should get something to eat if her using culinary related terms to describe human conditions is any indication of the state of her empty stomach. And when was the last time she ate, truly? What was her last meal? Was it a lunch? A breakfast? She had eaten something after she had awoken, of that she was certain but wha-

"Regina! "

Snow's controlled little shout having finally reached her ears, she let all thoughts of a meal slip from her mind, and concentrated on the question that was directed towards her.

"What!?", and maybe she should try to rein her temper since it really was her fault that she hadn't been paying attention.

"I was asking you how would you like to celebrate your birthday. You do remember your birth date is coming up soon, right?," Snow asked with a tone that suggested that it was quite possible she didn't (and she couldn't have been more right, Regina thought). "I was thinking that a ball would be nice. Nothing extravagant.- and at her stepmother's raised eyebrow she amended- okay maybe a little extravagant ,but we've been here for such a long time and all we've done is plan and worry and chase flying monkeys and…your sister and we've forgotten to live a little as well. Also, I've been dying to wear a few of the gowns resting in my closet," she added with a good natured laugh that even Regina couldn't keep from sharing.

"Do you really think it would be wise? With all these people gathered in one place, if Zelena decides to strike then we'd be sitting ducks."

"Regina, we are always sitting ducks when it comes to Zelena…" Snow replied and at that Charming added "We'll have guards at their posts, with rotating shifts so that everyone can enjoy the ball, and you have already placed protection spells around the grounds. Chances are, even if she tries to do something, she won't achieve much."

Eyeing the pair, her gaze travelled to the rest of their companions. "You, too?" she asked Leroy who, even though, was as usual glaring at everything and everyone, seemed to have been convinced that the possibility of an upcoming feast was a great idea if the anxious looks he was sending both her way and Charmings' in the event of the ball not happening was any indication.

"Dwarfs need their ale and their dance, too, sister!", he replied and then went back to his infinite scowling.

"My Men will keep watch, as well, milady," Robin added and at that she finally let her eyes rest on his, purposefully this time. "There is no reason for you not to enjoy your day," he finished and God where were her words? Why did it always feel like her brain seized functioning whenever he was around? W ith a small nod of her head directed at Snow but with her eyes never leaving Robin's sight, and with a dismissive wave of a hand, she merely said " Have it your way," and at Snow's loud squeal she could all but hope that she hadn't made a terrible mistake agreeing to it.

"We are having a ball then!" the Princess declared before the moved to a talk about the garlands…

*p.s feedback is always welcome so, if you feel like it, comment away ;-)