Misplaced soul

"Mae…. MAE!" The young boy in the hospital bed called out urgently and as she always does when she hears his voice the girl comes running. Mea was at her little brother's side within moments her hand smoothing over his overly long hair. Oh how she loved to tease him for it, but she wouldn't change it for the world.

"I'm here Benny boy, I'm here" she coos softly as she bends over the side of the hospital bed to hear him better. At the age of ten Benny was dieing and they all knew it, but her parents didn't want to believe it. They weren't ready. Their parents just stepped out to get some dinner, they knew it was pointless to ask Mae to leave. She never left his side, even took her high school classes online in order to always be by his side.

It's been a nine-year battle with cancer he was only a year old when he was diagnosed with throat cancer. The cancer went into remission a couple years after that, then it was a cancerous tumor and after that when he was 9 it was lung cancer. Mae was only ten at the time but she vowed to always be there for her baby brother from the moment he was born, she would protect him and be the best big sister ever. At 19 she has kept that vow to the best of her ability.

"I have to tell you something Mae-bear," the cherub faced boy smiles softly up at her, she smiles back at hearing his name for her. "I'm close, it won't be long now." Maes smile falls just a little her eyes tearing. she knew this was coming he told her months ago that he was ready, that his body couldn't fight anymore. The teen cried, but she understood that he was telling her because he knew that he was her world and needed time to accept it. Ben didn't want to leave her broken when he finally moved on. "The voices are louder now… I can hear them, they are loud." she furrow's her brow concerned, opening her mouth ready to speak, ben is quick to assure her. "It doesn't hurt don't worry."

"What are they saying now, are they still nice?" Mae asks. He told her about the voices last week she was scared at first, but her brother didn't seem to be afraid so when he asked her not to tell their parents she didn't. They wouldn't understand anyway. Her only concern was Benny and his comfort. The voices comforted him. He never told her what they said only that they were nice to him. He nods his head his raven hair shaking with the movement a stark contrast to his grey tinged skin. "Good, good" he coughs hard she rubs the center of his chest to help ease the pain until the fit is over.

After a moment of catching his breath he looks back at her and pats the bed softly, Mae climbs into bed next to him in a single smooth motion come from years of skillfully avoiding cords and monitors. her 5ft8in frame fit depressingly easy next to her frail little brother in the small pediatric bed. Ben lays his head on her shoulder as her arms automatically go around him. He begins to speak softly next to her ear.

"Mea-Bear, you have to promise to do something, after I'm gone…. will you promise" his tone is pleading his little fingers clutching her loose shirt. "Anything for you Benny, you know that" she assures him. She can feel the quark of his lips against her shoulder. "you know you told me that …the only place. You feel right is with me?" he waits for her to nod. "I know where you will feel right…I know where you are supposed to be. I heard the voices talking about it, they didn't know I was listening" His voice tinged with excitement at finally knowing he is giving his sister good news.

"What are you talking about Ben?" Mae asks completely confused not really knowing what to ask or where this is going. He gives her a look that clearly says 'Shut up I'm about to tell you.' She lets out a huff but dutifully closes her mouth and lets her little brother talk. He points to his note book beside his bed indicating she should grab it.

"I drew it in there… you have to…." He falters for a moment thinking of the exact wording. "fall from the barren edge, pure of worldly poss..pos..possessions, and covered...in..in blood" he shrugs "well that's not the same way they said the ending but… the picture was in my head… you have to draw the pictures on yourself….in blood" the young boy scrunches his nose. Mea is frozen baffled and a bit grossed out. She opened his book one handed and looks at a couple of pages a few stuck figures drawn and symbols drawn around the edges with arrows pointing to where they should be drawn on the body.

"what is this supposed to do Benny?" she asks skeptically not really believing this however she also couldn't reason why he would make something like this up or even if he could. Using a word like barren and worldly possessions isn't exactly his usually vocabulary.

"it will take you to where you are supposed to be. The voices say that you weren't supposed to be born here." He starts to cough, all this talking aggravating his lungs, Mae sits up with him rubbing circles on his chest in an effort to soothe his body racking coughs. He falls back onto her chest; they lay in silence for long minutes. "you promised… you said anything" he begs fearfully he just knows that this is good that this is what will make her happy, his big sister deserves to be happy. She did everything for him with their parents having to work to pay the medical bills Mae stayed at the hospital with him or at home with him since she was a freshman in high school. Mea was his mama bear, but Mae said that he couldn't call her mama so he called her Mea-bear.

"okay, shh..shh I promise Benny boy." He looked up at her and she at him. She felt his body relaxing melting into her warm embrace. His eyes meet hers and she can see something in his eyes, they're so bright almost luminescent, he takes a breath in. "trust me, I love you Mae-bear…" his hand lessens its grip on her shirt his head falling into the crook of her neck she can feel her tears on her face as she holds him rocking them both gently side to side and felt his tiny breaths on her neck. Mae felt more than she heard him say with a tiny smile on his lips "Mama-bear" and with that last breath her heart broke into a million pieces. She tightened her arms around him burring her head in his long hair taking in the last scents of her beloved brother as she weeps.