Good news! I'm still alive!

Bad news! The new chapter isn't completed yet!

I've been struggling a bit with Writer's block and such.
On the bright side, I DO have something for you!

I originally planned to tack this on to the front of the chapter, but I feel kinda guilty for making you guys wait this long.
So without further ado: an interlude, featuring Illya!
An Illyaterlude, if you will.

In an alleyway near the market district, a young girl had been accosted by several older boys. She ignored their mocking jeers, trying to make her way past and towards her residence.

"Where do you think you're going, freak?"

The girl bit off a whimper as she fell to the ground, cruel laughter surrounding her.

"What a weirdo."

"Seriously, she's so creepy. Her eyes are like a dead fish…"

If she was still Sakura Tohsaka, she would have broken down and cried by now. But Sakura Matou would not cry. She was all out of tears, after all. Nothing these children could say or do could-

"Surrender now, evildoers! Or thou shalt be smited by my FISTS OF JUSTICE!"

The four people already within the alley turned to see the newcomer, a small girl with white hair and red eyes, wearing a school PE uniform, a quilt cape and plastic mask, and brandishing a wooden shinai.


The boy who had spoken was cut off as the shinai smashed into his face.

"THAT'S NOT A FIST AT ALL!" screamed one of the boys, pointing at the masked hero.

"I am the fist of my sword!" yelled the girl as she slammed the shinai into his gut.

The first victim evildoer slowly stood up.

"What kind of… stupid justification… is that?"

"I DON'T HEAR YOU SURRENDERING!" Came the Albino's response as she bludgeoned him back onto the ground.

Then, a shadow fell into the alleyway. The bullies-turned-victims gazed up at the tall figure, wondering if perhaps their salvation was at hand. Could it be that God had answered their prayers for rescue?

"GWAHAHA! Excellent work, Student No. 1!"

…no, it was just more suffering.

She stood there, silhouetted against the dying sunlight, standing with a poise not unlike a victorious predatory cat. Almost like she was not human, but rather a-



At her exclamation, the would-be bullies did the wise thing and ran away as fast as possible, leaving the three girls alone in the alley.

"Oi! Get back here you shitty brats! I'll kill you till you're dead!"

The mysterious masked girl who was definitely mysterious and in no way Illyasviel von Einzbern walked over to where Sakura Matou was sprawled out on the ground, reaching down to help her up.

"Are you okay?"

In an elementary school PE shirt and bloomers, with a quilt tied around her neck, and a homemade mask taped haphazardly to her face by Fujimura Taiga, the small silver-haired girl was perhaps the most half-assed looking hero in human history.

And yet, as she gazed upwards at the small, fragile-looking superhero-wannabe framed in the dying sunlight-

"Ah… yes. I'm fine now…"

"Wah! Your face is all red! Do you have a fever or something?"

-Sakura Matou felt more hope than she had felt in a long time.

Kiritsugu Emiya woke up as the boundary field around the Emiya house was tripped. Standing up from the futon he had been sleeping on, he picked up the silenced pistol from where it had been lying next to him. He had already made arrangements for his daughter to stay the weekend with the Fujimura group upon hearing of two suspicious individuals asking after him. The Magus Killer made his way out into the courtyard where two people with silver hair stood, one with the trademark red eyes of a homunculus, the other with more normal blue eyes.

Two bullets were planted in the Homunculus's forehead before either of the intruders had time to respond. The third bullet, fired at the remaining Einzbern, was deflected by silvery wires suspended in the air.

"Damn you, Magus Killer! Do you know how long it took me to finish that one!?"

The assassin's only response was to raise his Thompson Contender at the man.

"As if the last of the Einzberns would be foiled by a paltry trick like that!"

The wires lashed out, bisecting the mystic code and rendering it useless. Had Kiritsugu still been in his prime, he could have easily evaded the attack. However, his body and soul had been wasting away ever since the end of the Fourth Grail War, so he didn't have the ability to react fast enough to save his weapon. He was, however, able to dodge the follow up attack, albeit by falling backwards and sprawling out across the ground.

"Damn you! Damn you, you bastard! How? How could one as pathetic as you destroy everyone from our family who came after him? How could you humiliate us this mu- GRK!?"

His voice was cut off as something materialized for a split second and rammed a kitchen knife into his throat. A voice, emanating from nowhere, spoke.

"That would be because of me."

The Magus fell to the ground, clawing at his throat as he slowly bled out. Kiritsugu Emiya slowly stood up, walked over to the dying man, and put a bullet through his brain. He then pulled a cellphone out of his pocket, dialing a number.

"Raiga? It's me. The in-laws came for a visit again and made a bit of a mess. Can you send some people over to help clean up?"

He hung up and walked over to the porch, taking a seat.

"And that's that. He said he was the last, so I won't have to worry about others coming after Illya after I'm gone."

"I already took care of that. There will be no Fifth Holy Grail War."

"I won't do that. I already told you, I don't want her to get involved with this world."

"Just give it up already. You'll fade from this world when I do. Stop trying to worm your way out of it."

The cleaning crew sent by Raiga were a bit confused when they found the man talking to himself, but they decided not to ask any questions. After all, a man who can gun down two people in cold blood without a scratch is not someone you want to be on the wrong side of.

Illyacheivement Box!

[X] - HERO! OF! JUSTICE! - ...Sakura route unlocked?

[X] - Last Albino Standing! - My dad killed my family, and I'm okay with this, and I am not okay with this.


So yeah. This is a thing. Yay.