Zim the Warlord: Irken Reversion

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or anything else here

Summary: By a stroke of luck, Zim is given a second chance at being a great Irken, thanks to a secret experiment finally paying off. With a body no Irken has had in eons, Zim shall take up the mantle of Warlord to carve his name into the minds of all sentient races, as the first of a new class of Irkens. Pairings undecided, but hints of ZAGR. Xover and possibly OC planets in later chapter.

A secret experiment to biologically enhance the Irken-race, exposure to a primitive rock

Regular Speak

Thoughts and Flashbacks

Demonic or Animalistic Speak

Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts

Beta-ed by Dragon_Wizard91

"You filthy lying Worm-baby!" Zim yelled as he slammed Dib into a locker, holding the earth boy by the collar of his jacket, "We had a pact! No biological-warfare of the bacterial level!" He accused angrily.

"Wow, Zim! I have no idea what you're talking about!" Dib yelled in retort, honestly a bit freaked out by the wild and exhausted look in Zim's lenses- how they mimicked human expressions so well, Dib still didn't understand.

"You LIIIIIE! Tell Zim the truuuuuth, Dib-stink! Give Zim the antidote!" He demanded.

"Seriously, Zim, I didn't make you sick or...whatever the hell is wrong with you...seriously, is your skin molting or something?" Dib asked, a bit weirded out as he saw a large patch of skin peeling off Zim's face.

Zim ignored him before turning to their unbiased mediator, "Little Gaz? Does your Brother speak the truth or may I remove his deceitful voice box?" He asked to the purple haired Membrane.

Gaz opened one eye fully at them before returning to her Game Slave, "He's telling the truth, but you can do that anyway. His voice is grating on me," She offered.

"What?! And his yelling isn't?!" Dib asked in mock disbelief.

"Eh, I don't mind Zim's voice," She admitted, Zim smiling proudly at that, holding Dib against the locker with on hand as he made a pose with the other.

"Yes, Zim's voice is amazing. When I conquer this putrid planet, Gaz-Human, I shall spare you, and your Bloaties," Zim offered generously.

"What about my Game Slaves?" Gaz asked with a smirk.

"Nah, as the personal slave of Zim and my trophy-specimen for taking over this ball of dirt, you shall be privileged to play far superior forms of entertainment then a mere handheld device!" Zim assured with a grin.

"Hey, you're not enslaving anyone, especially not my sister!" Dib protested.

"Oh, right, you're still here," Zim remembered, releasing him and allowing Dib to readjust his coat with a glare. "If you didn't infect Zim, why does his Squeedlyspooch feel as if it is being torn apart by the limbs of a Telgothian Scout?" Zim asked, touching his torso in light pain.

"What's a Telgothian?" Dib asked curiously.

"Pray you never find out, Earth-monkey. Your brains are just squishy enough for their liking," Zim warned with a shiver, making Dib really not want to meet whatever Zim was talking about.

"Still, I have no idea what's wrong with you...Maybe you caught an earth disease and are reacting poorly to it?" Dib supplied with a shrug.

"Doubtful. Ever since my failed conquest against the germs of your world, I created a device that uses your primitive satellites to detect all deadly diseases capable of harming my superior Irken biology," Zim informed with a curious look. "I shall have to pay a visit to this C-D-C in the future," he added on thoughtfully.

Dib went wide eyed, imagining all the havoc Zim might cause just by being in that place while Gaz had a thoughtful look, "Zim? How old are you?" Gaz asked curiously.

"Huh? Why do you ask, Gazling?" Zim asked in confusion.

"Seriously? Gazling?" Dib asked, his eyebrow twitching, "Do you have a crush on her or someth-OW, Gaz, what the Hell!?" Dib yelled as his sister kicked him in the shin.

"Stop being stupid, Dib," Gaz warned evenly.

"Crush? Why would I want to crush the Gaz-beast? She is the most inhuman human that Zim has met," Zim asked cluelessly.

"Not that kin-" Dib started, only for Gaz to throw him in his open locker and close it.

"Ignore him, Zim; he's just being an idiot. Now, how old are you, exactly?" Gaz asked curiously.

"I do not know what the age of Zim has to do with this...but in Irken count, I am in my sixteenth cycle," He explained.

"Sixteen? Wait, they send out a teenager to invade planets?" Dib asked in the locker.

"Well, that might be it then: Maybe it's puberty," Gaz supplied.

"Pew-bert-tea? What is this smelly tea that you speak of? Tell Zim!" Zim demanded.

"It's something that-" Gaz started.

"Tell Zim!" Zim repeated.

"-humans go through to-" She continued, ignoring his demand.

"Tell Zim!" He continued.

"To be adults physically," Gaz finished.

"Adults?" Zim asked in surprise.

"Oh god, Gaz, PLEASE don't give him the Birds and the Bees!" Dib pleaded desperately.

"Dib, you're attracting more attention than Zim. People are going to start thinking WE are the aliens," Gaz pointed out, the students giving the locker odd looks. "Actually, that's not too unbelievable."

"What?! We are NOTHING like Zim!" Dib retorted.

"PRECISELY!" Zim declared, "And as Zim is normal, that make you abnormal! Therefore, YOU are the one that will be strapped down to a table and dissected to prove your alienness!" He declared before turning to Gaz. "Fret not, Little Gaz, Zim and his trusted minions will be the only ones allowed to operate on you," He assured.

Gaz raised an eyebrow at that, "Eh, I think I'd actually trust your computer over our doctors if Dad couldn't cure me," She mused with a shrug.

"Stop. Flirting. With. My. Sister," Dib demanded.

"Flirting? Dib, how do you know that term? And why are telling me to stop letting your sister off a leash? Are you offering her as a peace offering?" Zim asked in confusion.

"...Seriously?" Gaz asked in surprise, "Flirting is an Irken term for letting something go?"

"Out of servitude, yes, but he's garbling the word to Irk and back. It's Fla-urkt-ang...Wait, does that have another meeting in your earth tongue?" Zim asked curiously.

"Yeah, but never mind that! Can one of you let me out, class is going to start soon," Dib requested, wanting to change the subject.

"Oh, he's right, we best hurry, Gazling," Zim agreed, picking up his books as he and Gaz made their way to class.

"Zim? Gaz? Come on, let me out! Dammit Zim, you're using this as a chance to pull off another plan, aren't you!? When I get out of here I...,"Dib yelled, his voice fading away and being drowned out by the various other children as Gaz and Zim walked away.

"Dib-stink does realize that Zim only implements his plans twice a week now, right?" Zim asked curiously.

Gaz shrugged as she continued walking, "I think he's deluded himself into thinking you're capable of doing something every day without rest or time to plan," Gaz pointed out, "So, why haven't you killed him yet?" She asked curiously.

"Simple, your father is a brilliant man: Zim knew that from day one that he arrived here. The death of the son of such a being would be investigated greatly: Despite what others might think, Zim is no fool!" He claimed, getting a skeptical look from Gaz, which he ignored, "Now, what makes you think this smelly human tea has anything to do with Zim's condition?" Zim asked curiously.

"Well, most creatures go through two or more cycles of growing and maturing. There's childhood where you brain develops more than your body, and there's teenagers where you become physically mature. For animals, being an adult means they can survive and breed. While you're an alien, I figured that life has some universal similarities," She mused with a shrug.

"Hmm, well, the only problem with that is that Irkens have no breeding: We've been cloned for easily ten thousand of your earth years, if not longer," Zim said dismissively.

"Really? Still, the only other skin thing I know is molting. Do Irkens do that?" Gaz asked curiously.

"...Not normally, but it may be a reaction to this planet," Zim mused, "Little Gaz, why do you not side with Dib in his quest against Zim?"

"A. Dib is stupid. and B. My race is stupid." She answered flatly.

"And you think that Zim, to your eyes, isn't Stupid?" Zim asked, scratching his chin.

"No, I think you're very stupid. You should have conquered this world ten times over with the resources you have," She stated bluntly before smirking, "However, you also should have been found out a hundred times more than that. You continuously prove to me how stupid my brother and humanity is, and why they all deserve to be conquered. And who knows, if this is some weird alien puberty, maybe you'll finally grow out of your stupidity," Gaz added on as they paused in front of Zim's classroom.

"...Gazling, you have the most mysterious power to simultaneously insult and compliment in ways that leave Zim unsure of which you do more of. Therefore, I shall not revoke my generous offer of making you my slave after your world is mine," Zim said flatly.

"Zim, I'll offer you some advice. Instead of trying and talking about doing something, just do it," Gaz suggested, turning to walk away to her class a few doors down.

"Do or do not, there is no try," Zim retorted smugly.

"...Did you REALLY just say that?" Gaz asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Know what you mean, Zim does not. Going, Zim must be," Zim said with a smirk.

"...Hmm, yep, Zim may be stupid, but he's the kind of stupid I can actually get used to," Gaz commented to herself as she went off, playing her Game Slave.

Meanwhile, on Irk

Tallest Red and Tallest Purple were both perplexed as they stood in an Irken laboratory, filled with tubes filled with young and PAK-less smeets, floating in purple goop. In front of them was a scientist with a slightly paler than normal shade of green skin, wine colored eyes and three red little lines across each antenna that made her look almost as tall as them. In reality, she was over a foot shorter than them and her hover pad was just hidden by her lab coat. With her floating all over the lab, she often forgot when it wasn't near ground level.

"Let me get this straight, Doc?" Tallest Red asked as Purple scratched his chin in thought, "Nearly Twenty-one cycles ago, Tallest Miyuki and the Control Brains put you in charge of trying to make our PAKs unnecessary?" He asked in surprise.

"Sort of, My Tallests," She answered with a shrug, taking a drink of her soda.

"But why would the Control Brains authorize that?" Purple asked in surprise, "I mean, wouldn't that make controlling and monitoring the Empire harder?"

"Yes, logically, but our dear late Tallest was...a bit paranoid. You may not be aware of it, My Tallests, but we have made brief contact with other unknown races, at the edge of our known space, that proved very formidable opponents. Several of them had arsenals that were weaponized to disable machines near permanently that were able to affect our PAKs," She elaborated.

The Tallests both blinked at that, "Why haven't we heard anything of this before?" Red asked in surprise and maybe a bit of anger.

"Best guess? The control brains are not sure if we conquered them or not, so they don't want Irkens worrying over 'what ifs' all the time," The geneticist theorized with another shrug, "As for the Brains giving this approval? While the Control Brains are, well, controlling, they do think with the Irken Empire's future always in mind. If the Control Brains were destroyed by some tragic miracle, much of our race would die off without the control brains making certain specific calibrations to suit our environments, nutrient levels, and other things," She admitted calmly.

"So, in other words, your job was to make it so our race can survive independent of our PAKs on the off chance anyone gets to Irk and kills the brains, right?" Purple summed up.

"Pretty much. I was also instructed to restore breeding capabilities...that was surprisingly easy, I'll admit," She mused to herself, looking upwards, "I think the original geneticists that phased that out did it in a way that was easily restored for this very reason."

"Focus Doc," Red called, snapping his claws to get her attention again.

"Apologies, my Tallests," She said, shaking her head.

"It's fine, it's fine. If you weren't thinking like that then we probably wouldn't have you as a scientist still," Purple waved off, Red nodding in agreement. You could shoot soldier-shorties out of a cannon all you want, but you don't mess with the brains of the empire.

"Still, why are we only learning about this now? We've been the Tallests for over six cycles now," Red asked curiously.

"To be honest? Me and the brains kind of forgot," She supplied, to their surprise. "After Tallest Miyuki's death, Tallest Spork didn't last too long…not even a full cycle, so...well, filling in a new Tallest on this project on top of them adjusting to their new duties seemed like a bit much...and we weren't sure how long you'd survive and didn't want to go through this talk too many times," She admitted awkwardly.

"...Out of context, that would sound like treason, but given the exact nature of how they died, we don't blame you," Red admitted slowly.

"And we were having killer headache for half a cycle after we first became Tallests," Purple pointed out.

"Don't remind me. There weren't enough donuts in the Universe to help calm us down," Red said with a sigh. "So, Doc? What's the status of this experiment of yours anyway?"

"It was a success, actually," She stated flatly.

"Success? You mean you already did it?" Purple asked, both him and Red shocked.

"Started it, yes. We modified about fifty smeets back before Tallest Miyuki's demise. The Control Brains have been sending me data from their PAKs on their development. Most of them are dead though, due to Impending Doom I," She explained as the Tallests sighed in unison.

"And once again, Zim does more harm to the Empire than our enemies could combined," Red groaned.

"Ya know, if we could, I'd almost want to reprogram Zim to side with our enemies to see them go through this as well," Purple said darkly.

"Zim?" The doctor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't tell me you've been cooped up so much to not know that terror?!" Purple asked in disbelief.

"Easy Purple, don't ruin her paradise...life without knowing about Zim," Red said wishfully, "So, Doc, do you need anything from us? Funding approval? Ya got a snack shortage or something? Or this just to inform us on the project?"

"Mostly just to inform you of the project. If you wish, I could inform of the specifics now or later at your convenience, My Tallests," She offered.

"Hmm, I'd actually like to hear more and I'd like to know who the subjects are so we don't launch them out of a cannon or something without knowing of their importance," Red mused.

"But we do have to get back to the Massive: We're turning Sirius Major into something- A donut making planet, I think," Purple informed with a shrug.

"Sirius Major? My Tallest, not to question you, but wouldn't it be better to make that into a thermo-solar-powered research base?" She asked curiously.

"Nah, that's what we're doing with the moon. Besides, Donutia I needs a lot of upgrades and this way, we'll have donut making planets on both sides of the empire," Red reasoned.

"True, the masses do need their snacks," She murmured. "Well, if you want, I can accompany you on the Massive: Most of my research is just observations from PAK reports now, so I don't really need much equipment." She offered.

"Well...sure, why not," Red answered with a shrug, "Just don't be late," He ordered as he and Purple took their leave.

"Of course, My Tallests," She murmured before turning to a computer pad on a table, observing the status of the rather small Irken, "Zim, huh? Hope the Tallest don't have a Squeedlyspooch attack," She muttered to herself.

Back on Earth

"Class is dismissed. I expect your pointless reports on your respectively doomed subjects to be on my desk first thing after spring break." Ms. Bitters informed, glaring at them like the snakish woman she was, "Zim, Dib, that goes for both of you- I don't want to hear about how you both ruined the other's papers like the last time," She warned.

"Yes, Ms. Bitters," Dib and Zim answered at once, Zim giving a mock salute, a habit formed partially because of his military training.

"I can't believe you got me detention. No, wait, I forgot, it's you," Dib whined with a glare as they left the classroom.

"Need I remind you, once again, Dib-brains, that it was your sister that closed you in the storage container? And you have only yourself to blame, rambling on about insects and avians," Zim reminded, honestly annoyed at this point.

"It's birds and bees...and did you just use my name as an insult to my brain?" Dib asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"How is it that a cranium of such immensity can retain so little?!" Zim asked in exasperation, rubbing the bridge of where his nose would be if he were human.

"My head is not BIG!" Dib complained.

"Classmates?" Zim asked with a smirk.

"Yes it is," Everyone around them answered at once, making Dib jump at once.

"How did you do that?! Some kind of alien mind control device?" Dib asked suspiciously.

"Dib-stink, please, if I had such a device, do you not think I would use it as any normal human would and make our instructors cease in giving me the dreaded homework?" Zim asked evenly.

"And, seriously Dib, it takes a lot less than that for people to admit to something sooooo obvious," Gaz pointed out with a drawl as she walked up to them.

"And my supposedly giant head is more obvious than a green, earless boy being an alien?" Dib asked in disbelief.

"Size is fact, ethnicity is debatable," Gaz answered with a shrug.

Dib just gaped, having trouble coping with the lack of support from his sibling for a moment while Zim just smiled, proud and smug, "Poor, poor deluded Dib-stink," He said in mock sympathy, patting Dib on the back, "Now, if you excuse me, I need to get home and find out what's wrong with my squeedlyspooch," Zim said, poking his stomach curiously.

"How is it he can talk about being an alien, even his non-human organ, and no one notices?!" Dib asked in exasperation.

"Oh? That's easy," Gaz supplied as she grabbed a few things from her locker. "Zim's a foreign kid, so everyone just figures that was how the grammar of his language in his country works. They also assume that Zim feels a bit sorry for you and your delusions, so he just keeps playing along."

"What?! That evil bastard! Of course he'd fool everyone into thinking I'm crazy." Dib groaned to himself.

"Dib, they already knew you were crazy long before Zim. They just applaud Zim for putting up with you so much," Gaz pointed out, "Ya know he could probably call the cops on you for harassment and stalking," She added in thoughtfully.

"I don't stalk him! I'm surveying the enemy!" Dib retorted.

"...Dib, your stupidity is making me want to barf," Gaz informed as she left the hall to head home and leave her brother to stew.

"Damn, he's even turning my sister against me," Dib cursed to himself.

"Hmm, maybe that's why Zim puts up with Dib- maybe he just likes his sister," A random kid mused to herself, her female companions giggling at the thought.

"Poor Zim: A green skin condition, getting used to a new country, and all the while he has to put up with Crazy-Dib-Stink to hang around his scary sister," Another commented, making Dib's eyebrow twitch. Some of Zim's habits had been picked up by the other children over the years. Calling someone Stink at the end of their name, playfully or as insult, was becoming more common these days.

"Well, she doesn't like Dib too much either and she talks to Zim more than anyone else besides Dib: Maybe there IS something there. Too bad they have to flirt around through Dib's alien fantasy all the time," The first pointed out.

"Maybe they're not flirting around it- maybe Gaz thinks about being Zim's 'Game Slave'," A third mentioned as they all burst out into scandalized laughter at the joke. Dib saw red and tried to run home...only for a tall truant officer to appear and hold him up by the back of his shirt.

"Oh now you don't, Crazy Pants. You got a detention," He reminded gruffly.

"No, let me go, I need to save my sister from the evil alien!" Dib begged.

The skool kids all shook their heads in pity at the obviously insane and perhaps overprotective brother.


"Are you following me?" Gaz asked curiously, not even looking up from her Game Slave as Zim walked behind her, "If you're not careful, the kids at skool might actually believe you're interested in me," She warned.

"Hmm? But I am interested. Why else would Zim select you to be his trophy after he takes over this dirt-ball?" Zim asked curiously.

"Different kind of interested, Zim," Gaz informed simply, "So, Zim? What are you going to do after this Skool year?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hmm? What do you mean, Gazling?" Zim asked in interest.

"This is the last year of Middle Skool for you. After this, people are going to start to wonder what disease makes you a noseless and earless green midget," She pointed out.

"Luckily, children are transferred to various different facilities for Hi-Skool, so I may be able to drop out of your educational system if the need arises. However, it is possible I may grow an acceptable margin, though unlikely," Zim admitted.

"Speaking of growing? You mind if I ask an unimportant Irken question?" Gaz asked curiously.

"I believe the earth phrase is fire away?" Zim retorted.

"You said you're sixteen in Irken. How about in Earth?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, I am about one-hundred and sixty-two of your earthanoid cycles," Zim answered off-handedly, Gaz looking at him in surprise. "Well, this is my turn. Greet your father for me and torment your brother for me. Zim commands it, Gaz-slave!" Zim said before turning to head down the road to his out of place home.

"...Zim is an old man, huh?" Gaz commented in amusement.

Zim whistled as he headed home. Some would wonder, had Zim come to enjoy Earth's beauty over the past two years? Gained some form of humanity that he didn't have before? The answer is, flatly, no. He was still as 'amoral' as ever by human standards, still had every intention of making a throne for himself on this dirt hole, and quite frankly? How was he supposed to enjoy the scenery when it rained burning liquid on him regularly and the planet was covered primarily by such stuff? Honestly, Zim had seen too many movies about the human race somehow making other creatures 'see the light' as the expression went, to the point that the concept made him sick.

Zim, at heart, was a warrior. There was no peace, no beauty that could quell such a feeling. What he did gain on this planet was a clearer head. Years of not having to deal with being one of the smallest Irkens had allowed his head to...decompress, slow down. No longer was he as rash or foolish as he once was. In truth, he had continued his more obvious and ill-planned schemes for world domination just to keep Dib distracted and from getting suspicious. In secret, he was collecting information on the other countries of earth.

Over the years, he had realized one of the fatal flaws in his invasion plans. Earth was VERY primitive, more so than he originally thought. Not only were they not unified, but their educational system lacked the transparency many races had when it came to the reality of their government. Then again, humans were much more emotional than most races still. They whined and cried over the simplest things. But their primitiveness worked in their favor in this case. With a unified world government, weakening them would be simpler and with the secrecy the governments kept from the people, learning their defenses wasn't easy.

Zim smiled as he entered his home, ignoring the robot parents, "Masta! You're home! We made a cake!" GIR greeted, ever insanely, as he held up a small cake that was looked deceptively well made, with Minimoose squeaking nearby. Zim raised an eyebrow as he poked his finger into it, black goo oozing out, "I made it out of Car-juice and Jell-O," He informed happily.

"That's nice, GIR, but my Spooch isn't much for Fooch right now," Zim informed with a playful eye roll and as patted GIR on the head.

"Aww, poor Masta...I know! We'll make Soup! Mongoose soup!" Gir declared, running off, leaving Minimoose and Zim alone for the moment.


"Of course go after him! You're the only one that can keep track of that 'Garbage Is Recycled' Unit," Zim instructed, the sentient weapon heading off to do its master's bidding. Zim had developed a hobby of figuring out what GIR's letters could stand for. It was a LONG list.

On top of figuring out more things about Earth, Zim had also realized the truth about his mission. All the Tallest really wanted to do was get him away from the armada so he wouldn't ruin Impending Doom II...or cause Horrible Painful Overload Day Part Three. Yes, somewhere along the line, Zim realized that he had single handedly caused more destruction to the empire he desperately wanted to serve than all of their enemies combined. Still, that didn't discourage him. Rather, it encouraged him. If he was to be remembered as a great Irken, he would have to do something to show that his doomful nature could be used to benefit his people more than it had harmed them. Something which would probably have gotten anyone without his history named an honorary Tallest, if such a thing existed.

Zim sighed as he entered the base through the toilet, almost wishing his race was as primitive as Earth- if it was, his feats would have made him hailed as a mighty and terrible being of pure DOOM! "Computer! Scan Zim! I have detected an abnormality with my squeedlyspooch! Tell me my aliment!" Zim demanded, holding his arms up dramatically.

"Alright, alright," The computer drawled, almost sounding like it was fighting back a cybernetic yawn, "Are you sure you didn't just eat the Skool slop again?" The computer asked, clearly annoyed as it scanned its Irken master.

"Foolish computer! Zim would not dare to dine on that substance if his PAK was on the line!" Zim retorted before adding on in a calmer voice, "And to be honest, I don't care what your scans said about that, I'm sure that so called food has something to do with the low intelligence on this rock," He added on with a shiver.

"Possible, but it's hard to tell with everything else wrong on this planet," The computer relented uncaringly. "Huh...this is odd," The computer mused.

"What is it? Am I expiring? Has some earth chemical finally caused an adverse effect in me after years of exposure?!" Zim asked in worry.

"Zim," The computer said evenly.

"Old habits die hard," Zim said unapologetically, "You were saying?"

"There is something going on with you, but I'm not sure what. Your squeedlyspooch is secreting hormones that your body usually doesn't possess. It doesn't seem to be having any ill effect beyond the pain," The computer informed curiously, "To put it blunt, you're mutating, for some reason."

"Sounds almost like the PEW-burt-TEA thing Little Gaz mentioned," Zim said, wincing as he felt another pain in his body.

"Puberty..." The computer mused with a robotic hum, "Well, the nature of the two seem similar: Growing pains, the body self-altering its chemistry, and other changes. Only yours isn't natural, to my knowledge of Irken growth," It explained.

"Hmm, I did absorb every human organ in surplus for a while. Maybe there was a genetic contamination, or even just my body absorbing a few things," Zim mused, remembering that time he stole all those organs from the kids at skool. He had been very tempted to not give back the half-lung to Dib afterwards- turned out that both lungs were too big for his exchanging-teleporter, which gave him all the more reason to take one of Dib's. And everyone thinking Dib was a cyborg cowman was nice. Too bad the Professor had to clear that up- got the nurse fired too, since Zim returning the organ made her claim seem insane.

"Zim? Zim? ZIM!" The computer yelled in annoyance.

"Huh, what? Oh, yes, where were we?" Zim asked, tearing his brain from the past.

"At the fact your body is doing things it's not supposed to," The computer reminded, "Should I send a query to Irk?" It asked curiously

"No, the Tallests or the Brains might use it as an excuse to declare me defective," Zim answered with a glare.

"Eh, I'd probably get scrapped anyway if that happened. Ya know, it's good the Tallest gave you equipment with faulty AIs or I might have not had the self-preservation to not send an alert," The computer informed.

"True. Still, it's the springing break, so I can wait and see how this develops for a few days...of course, Dib will get suspicious," Zim mused with a grimace.

"Should I set the defenses to a different setting?" The computer asked, sounding oddly amused.

"Yes, set it to Darth Troll Level T.T." Zim answered wickedly, before pointing to the ceiling dramatically, "And record it! Zim shall need much entertainment once this ailment subsides!" He demanded.

"What about Gir?" The computer asked curiously.

"Infinite Monkey Show Loop, Duh!" Zim answered with a roll of his eyes, "And run calculations to determine what the likely side effects these bodily chemicals will have on my body."

"Yes sir," The computer answered sarcastically.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go lie down for a bit..." Zim said, sagging his shoulders as he showed how drained his condition had actually left him.

End of Chapter

Well, there we go, my first Zim fic. I've tried to retain Zim's character while toning him down a tad- decompressing, as he said. As for Gaz, eh, I figure she'd prefer Zim over Dib- and if he doe take over the earth, she'd probably take the offer of him sparing Bloaties- andshe'd probably love alien video games. But I can see them having an odd form of friendship regardless, even pruely in canon.

But, yes, Zim was part of an experiment to improve the Irken race and keep them from dieing off if the Control Brains get fried. And now the side effects are showing. What they'll be, well ,you'll have to wait and find out for that.

However, Zim will NOT suddenly come to love earth, the ways of humans, or anything like that. He's an Irken, he's an invader, and that's not going to change to the point that he'll like our little dirt ball of a planet. As for what this fic means by Warlord? Well, that'll be explained when it comes up.

Onto pairings...I make no promises or solid speculation. Zim could get with Gaz, Tak, an OC, a Xover girl, or more than one. Or no one at all. He might keep some as trophies or prisoners, who knows. It's all in the air at the moment.