AN: Halloween gift for you dear readers: all human story I have started to work on a few months ago.

Almost completely OOC.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Chapter 1

The Meeting

I woke up conflicted, torn between pleasure and pain. The source of pleasure was easily identified when I glanced down and saw her long blonde hair spread across my chest. Said hair was only a part of the bigger, more glorious picture of the tan busty beauty laying naked across me. I clearly got some last night and got it good too, because my semi-hard cock was still situated inside the woman.

As for the pain, my head felt like someone's using a freakin' jack-hammer on it.

How much did I drink last night?

And who the Hell was this woman?

Slowly, very slowly, the memories were coming back to me and I remembered last night, each moment playing itself back in my head like a movie.

I came to the Roosevelt Hotel to find my fiancée, Sophie Ann and apologize for my earlier behavior. I felt obligated to do so after I made her feel like "a walking uterus" and forcing her into a "medieval concept of motherhood". Those were her words, not mine. Personally, I still believed I said nothing wrong and offending.

What's wrong with discussing the future with your fianceé? Me and Sophie have been engaged for two years and the wedding arrangements were made and mostly fulfilled; the date of The Big Day was a mere three months ahead after all. So I was floored by her outrage when I asked her when we should start trying for the baby. My shock was even bigger since when we had had this same conversation a little over a year ago, she had been gushing about how she wanted "a beautiful pair of babies - a boy and a girl that would fill our days with happiness". Again - her words, not mine.

Three days back though I was called a chauvinistic swine who sees in women nothing more than a procreation tool. According to Sophie, my only goal is to do nothing but closet her in a house and ruin her career and future... The career that I helped her to create by the way. When I tried to explain that I was not thinking along such lines, she took my credit card and said she would sleep in the hotel. Thinking about it from a distance, maybe I shouldn't have pointed out that she is turning thirty next month…

But this little thing aside, do you understand my confusion?

As far as it can seem strange for some people – I desperately want a baby. I have always wanted one and I still do. Getting a baby can be pretty hard when you're a single male though. Usually there is a female needed in the process to succeed, that's how old Mother Nature made things run. Sadly, in that field, I've been less than lucky. One disastrous relationship led to another and finally, at the age of thirty-four, I met Sophie Anne Leclerq. She was sweet, full of energy and for some reason, she didn't run screaming from me like most of the women in my past had. Don't get me wrong; I don't lack in the looks department- on the contrary – I had no problems with getting laid. The problems usually begin when conversation is involved. My grandmother once told me that God put in every human a gate at the road leading from their mind to their mouth. According to her infinite wisdom –my gate was made of a net and is severely leaking when someone with boobs is involved. Well… you can't have everything, right?

So, for many years I opted for work and noncommittal relationships until I woke up one day with a sickening feeling that I was going to die alone. I earned enough money to have several houses and cars but I had no one with whom to share my success. So, at the age of thirty-three, my lesbian friend and assistant – Pam – decided it was time for me to go out and meet people and my journey had begun. Night clubs were the first stop but after a few months we realized that it's probably not the best environment for finding the love of my life. Next, there were speed dates and honestly, everything was good as long as the girl did the talking. I remember one woman in particular - Jane? We sat at this small stupid table and she asked me only one question…

Almost two years ago. Speed dating night

"So, what do you have in your fridge?" she asked.

"Milk, some bacon, eggs…" There my explanation was interrupted when I ended up with water being poured on my face and Jane running away, calling me a murderer of innocent, helpless creatures. She was a hardass vegan I found out later…

To put it simply – speed dating was a 'no, no'.

All in all, it ended with Sophie whom I met at a gallery opening. She was an aspiring artist and honestly, she knocked me off my feet. For some reason she didn't find me awkward; instead she found me charming and funny. To put it simply – she was the first woman that treated me that way (I will skip my grandmother's and mother's opinions – they are clearly not objective). Sophie wasn't fighting me every step along the way and she was claiming that she was feeling protected by me. We had the same opinion about the world and family and I was sure I had found the one. Hence, my proposal and our wedding plans.

Unfortunately, finding my fianceé riding her co-worker in the presidential suite that I was paying for, jeopardized the plans of having both wedding and family. I can even assure you that it ruined said plans.

Finding Sophie butt-naked with Andre directed me to the nearest bar where I decided to hammer myself. And that's where I met Sookie. Because the woman laying on top of me was Sookie.

It was some kind of twisted faith that had gathered us together in that small crowded bar. Because you see – Sookie had found her husband cheating on her with his secretary. I understood her heartbreak perfectly when she sobbed into my shirt.

A few hours earlier in the bar

"… and that bitch didn't even stop sucking his cock!" exclaimed Sookie, gaining herself a few disapproving glances. Neither she nor I gave it any mind. I only poured us another glass of scotch.

"Sophie was riding this sneaky French asshole cowgirl style," I admitted bitterly. "And she didn't even like it! I mean she says it's too tiring for her."

Sookie nodded sympathetically and we tapped our glasses in silent toast. "I want a baby so much…" she sobbed suddenly, and instantly, even though I was barely conscious, Sookie had my full attention. "I was trying so hard… I have been doing all this 'laying with your legs up' stuff, you know?" I nodded even though I had no idea of said position. " I went to every doctor possible and they all said I'm fine down there…" She pointed at her pelvis and I leaned over the table to take a look.

"You look fine." I agreed, pouring myself another glass.

"Thank you. You are very kind," she mumbled drunkenly and popped few peanuts into her mouth. "I am drinking all of these disgusting fertility teas; I even prayed to ancient goddesses for fucks sake! And he said he got tested too… And that has to be my fault!"

She broke into uncontrolled sobs, so I hurried to the other side of the table and embraced my newest best friend. People were giving us funny looks but I ignored them. Sookie was murmuring into my neck and it took me a moment to realize that she was still speaking.

"… and he'd had a vasectomy long before we met! Why did he do this to me?" she asked me furiously.

"I believe it was his way to create a feeling of guilt in you, which in effect would make you more vulnerable and dependent on him. That, and he is an A-class dick." I shared my opinion with her and Sookie giggled, cuddling more into my chest. She was adorable and smelled like coconut. I love that smell. "You know… Maybe Sophie was always a bitch but I wanted family so badly that I was lying to myself?" I whispered fearfully, feeling like a fool.

"You want a family?" she asked me gently and started to smooth the wrinkles from my tie. For some reason, that little gesture sent tremors over my body.

"Yes… I'm getting old and I don't want to be an old father. I wan… I just want to play with my kid and be there when he or she is finally grown up. My dad wasn't there for me."

Sookie started to cry harder and she used my tie to brush away her tears. I didn't mind. "It's so sad…" she whispered. "You poor thing…" We were sitting in silence for a moment and finally she started to giggle.

"What?" I asked.

"Hahaha… Maybe we should make a baby on our own?" she suggested with a laugh and I laughed along with her. What a silly idea…

One bottle of scotch later this idea wasn't so silly anymore.

Somehow we managed to walk to the nearest hotel and rent a room. And then we were trying to make a baby.

First we tried on the carpet where I took Sookie while she was still wearing her clothes, getting rid of only her panties. We made it quick and hard and definitely loudly if the screams to 'keep the fuck quiet!' from the residents next door were any indication.

Our second attempt at making a baby took place on the commode, with Sookie completely naked and me staying in my shirt.

Our third attempt at baby-making was conducted on the bed with both of us completely naked this time. Sookie admitted that she loves being held down from time to time and well… she was. What got into me when I was pounding into Sookie from behind I had no idea, but we were even louder than before because this time the neighbor from the room next-door started to pound on the wall and called us animals.

Our fourth attempt started with Sookie sitting on me and riding me while whispering naughty things into my ear. I felt like I was falling in love again…

That fourth attempt was the final one because we both fell asleep shortly thereafter, hence, the awakening in the same position like that.

The exact second I remembered everything, I screamed like a little girl and threw Sookie off my body. She gasped, ending up flat on her butt and almost falling from the bed in the process but I focused on the list running through my head.

1. I had just had unprotected sex with a woman that I had met in the bar last night.

2. I had just had unprotected sex with a married woman. A married woman whose husband is fucking other women… If she got something from him, my dick may fall off in a matter of days.

3. I had just had unprotected sex with a married woman who was trying to get pregnant. She's even drinking fertility teas for fuck's sake! I might have knocked her up!

That last thought wasn't as terrifying as it should have been at that moment. I was still stuck at point no. 2 and my family scepter falling off because of flesh eating bacteria.

"What the…" she groaned, covering her face and tentatively looking around. Her gaze wandered over the room and ended up on me, lying naked in front of her. The look on her face would have been hilarious if I hadn't been so scared myself.

Sookie screamed softly and I noticed that she was slowly heading into panic mode.

"What… What have we done?" she whispered quietly, watching me with anxious eyes.

"We were trying to make a baby…" I whispered back. Our neighbors should be proud of how quiet we are now.

"I know! Fuck, what were we thinking?" she groaned.

"We weren't, we were too drunk and heartbroken..." I murmured and stood up, looking around to find my trousers. God knows where they were.

"What now?" she sobbed and I stopped in midstep. The poor woman was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as far as I could tell.

"Sookie…" I kneeled in front of her and took her hands in my own. I was a little taken aback when I felt a pleasurable shiver running through my body at the contact. "Calm down, please. Let's think for a minute, okay?"

I waited few minutes for her breath to calm and she eventually looked at me with confidence on her face.

Damn, she's beautiful and brave… Our baby's gonna be magnificent.

Wait, what? Where did that come from?

"You're right… Logic says that we have no reason to freak out," she told me, putting a serious mask on her face. "We're both adults and we made a very rash decision, that's true but panicking won't lead us anywhere, right?"

I nodded my head obediently. "I can provide for a baby…" I started but Sookie raised her hand to stop me.

"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves! First of all, I have been trying to get pregnant for a long time now and with no results. A one-night stand and bam! I'm gonna be pregnant? I don't think so, right?" I nodded my head hesitantly this time. We had had sex four times, so, statistically, the chances were quite high... "What are the odds?" She snickered and playfully bumped my chest.

A week later we found out that the odds were very damn high.

AN: So, should I post chapter 2?