Happy (belated) birthday, Kri! Here's a little one shot of the night Harvey leaves the firm. I hope you like it :)
This never happened
He sits down in his office one last time, pouring two glasses of scotch. It's still a habit, but she isn't there. He takes a sip and sighs. It's the end of an era, the end of an amazing time, but this isn't the ending he envisioned. He isn't old and grey, he isn't with her. Instead he's all by himself… kind of old though. He gets out of his chair, the tumbler with the liquid amber still in his hand as he walks over to the window. Staring to the buildings outside, one last time. He has to blink twice when he sees her reflection appear, not sure if it's his mind reliving a memory or if she's actually there.
She spots him near his window, his jacket off, his shoulders hanging low. She sighs thinking about how things have changed this past half year. How they exchanged words she never thought they would, how she left him. And now he was leaving, for the first time in what felt like forever they really wouldn't be working together anymore. She isn't with Mitchell anymore either and he knows that. She knows he knows, but nothing has happened. Yet, she thinks to herself, yet because that's going to change tonight. Hopefully.
She reaches for the other glass and walks towards him. "That was a beautiful speech, Harvey," she whispers looking at him in the reflection of the window. "Thanks," he whispers back, letting his head hang down. He can't look at her. Not now, so he downs his glass instead. "Let's go," she whispers placing her hand on his shoulder. "Donna," he mumbles his body going rigid by her touch. He turns towards her. "I have a surprise for you," she whispers reaching for his hand. "Donna, I lo-" he pauses, swallowing in his words. "I'm not really in the mood for a party. There's nothing to celebrate," he mumbles thinking about the poker event he accidentally heard Mike talk about. She smiles at him. "Maybe we can come up with a reason to celebrate," she whispers her hand covering his. "Follow me."
She lets go of his hand when they are in front of his apartment. He doesn't even look surprised when she uses the key he had given her a long time ago. In fact it makes him feel a bit more relaxed. She opens the door and guides him inside. The room is still dark and he can't see a thing. He waits for her to close the door behind them, to turn on the lights. For everyone to jump out, screaming surprise. But that doesn't happen.
"Where is everyone?" he mumbles surprised, but secretly he's pleased. He really wasn't feeling an evening with everyone. He just wants her. All he needs is her.
She looks at him, a devilish smile on her face. "It's just you and me," she replies. "Donna we don't-" he mumbles, thinking about what they agreed on all those years ago. "I know," she whispers placing her finger on his lips, "but this is an exception." He swallows. "You sure?" he whispers, a knot forming in his stomach as he thinks about the other time. "I am," she nods guiding him towards the table. "Same rules as last time." He nods then, "I mean I don't want to take advantage of you or anything... after all I'm wearing way more clothes then you." She smiles, Harvey Specter ever the gentleman even when she doesn't want him to be. "If I remember correctly you lost last time," she teases him pointing at the table.
He spots the can of whipped cream on it; the pure sight of the object making him swallow. "Donna," he mumbles. "Whipped cream …" he can barely pronounce the words. "That wasn't part of the game," he reminds her. She walks towards him, placing her hands on his chest. She smiles and leans forward a bit, her lips nearly touching his earlobe. "Who says we're only playing one game tonight," she whispers seductively in his ear, her fingers already undoing his tie.
"Donna," he stutters looking down at her hands, her hands that are now removing the jacket of his suit. "Donna," he mumbles again, his skin is burning. He can feel her fingers through his suit shirt. "Just making sure we're wearing the same amount of clothing," she whispers. Her hands are trailing along the edge of his vest. Her fingers fidgeting with the buttons until they reach his belt. He freezes on the spot, her hands are so close to his crotch, he's freaking out before the game even started. She removes the piece of leather, her hands going back to the vest he's wearing. He's short of breath already. "Are you getting too old for this, Specter?" she teases him.
"No," he shakes his head. Her fingers are tracing his muscles on his arms and he wonders if she's going to remove another piece of his clothing. "Just out of curiosity," he mumbles, "how many more pieces are you going to remove?" Donna let's out a laugh. "Harvey Reginald Specter," she warns him, a playful slap on his chest, "this better not be your way of asking whether I'm wearing any underwear?"
His eyebrows pop up at hearing her words, he hadn't.. Well he had thought about it; thought about what she was wearing the moment she told him it was just the two of them tonight. When she told him the same rules applied now, but it wasn't what he had meant. Not really. "Are you?" he asks then, a smirk on his face, curiosity now really got the better of him. "That's for me to know and for you to find out," she whispers. "I think you're ready," she mumbles her eyes trailing down one last time before she gives him another devilish grin. He looks down then, letting out a sigh. She clearly noticed how turned on she made him. Maybe she even felt it, he thinks now, she was standing so close. So close, but he wasn't allowed to touch. Those were the rules.
After the first couple of rounds both of them have removed their shoes. Harvey is losing this hand too and he knows it. It's far more difficult to remain your poker face when you're playing poker with the woman you've been in love with for over a decade. When that same woman initiated this game. A revival of that night, the can of whipped cream on the table a reminder of what had happened the last time they played cards. The same woman that is giving him all these looks, the same woman that is bending forward to reach for the cards just to give him a view of her cleavage. To tease him, because he can't touch. The same woman who's legs are now laying on his. And his hand is so close to her calves. All he wants to do is touch her. Feel her skin, but he know he'll lose if he does.
He mentally curses himself for agreeing to those rules again, he'd forgotten how good Donna actually was at poker. She may have been the only one he ever lost to, but the memories of that night of the game are blurry.. All he remembers is the way she felt, the way she tasted. The way they kissed, the whipped cream and the words she had said to him the following morning. 'This never happened.'
He swallows then, wondering if he'll hear those words again tomorrow morning. Tonight, he corrects himself, he doesn't know if it's going to happen again tonight. And even though it's all he wants, he doesn't want to if there's a chance she might say those words again. "Full house," she smiles. "I won," she teases him. "I thought you always win big?" she uses his own words against him. "I will," he answers cockily, "just wait and see."
"Shirt?" he mumbles then asking about the piece of clothing he needs to remove, his hands moving to his buttons. "Wait," Donna tells him her hand on his arm. "Let's make this more interesting," she flirts leaning towards him. "The winner gets to remove the piece of clothing," she suggests her fingers already undoing the top buttons.
He just nods, and lets her continue with the buttons. She's sitting on his lap now, her hands under his shirt, softly caressing his collarbone as she moves the dress shirt over his shoulders. He exhales sharply, his skin is burning. "Already out of breath," she whispers in his ear as she moves back a little, placing her feet on the ground. She moves her hands to his shoulders as she walks around him. "I'm just removing your shirt," she tells him, emphasizing the 'just', her warm breath tingling in his neck. "Donna," he mumbles, "this is torturous..."
"Is it?" she asks biting her lip as she places herself back on her seat. This time she keeps her legs by herself, cause if she has to be honest she wants this game to be over. She wishes she never mentioned the rules. She just wants him to touch her, but she isn't going to throw herself on him even more. She surely thought he would have gotten the hint by now. Harvey looks at her for a second, letting out a sigh, but he doesn't answer her question. He just deals the cards again, but once again Donna has the winning hand and Harvey loses his pants this time.
"Get up," he whispers bringing out his hand. She takes it and even though it's the least intimate contact they've had yet tonight, she feels something inside her snap. He guides her towards him, but turns her around just before she would bump into him. He slowly lifts her hair and lets it hang over her right shoulder. "I guess the no touching rule is gone," he mumbles in her ear, "can't get you out of these clothes otherwise."
"Uhum," she swallows as his hands unzip her dress. His fingers trailing a pattern on her skin that's sending a shiver down her spine. He pulls the fabric over her shoulders, and helps her remove it, the dress now forming a pool of fabric around her feet. He places his hands on her waist and she freezes at the way his thumb is making circles. "Take a step back," he mumbles and she obeys while he's still holding her. He inhales deeply, having to restrain himself from doing anything else. But she's so close, so close she's almost leaning against him. So close he can't help himself, he places a kiss on her shoulder.
Donna let's out a breath she didn't know she was holding, but she wants to remain her posture. She turns around then, to face him. "That wasn't in the rules," she whispers looking him in the eye. "I know," he mumbles. "Let's forget about the rules," he suggests his fingers moving up her waist. And he isn't just talking about the rules of the game, he's mostly talking about her rule. The one she reinforced the last time they did this. She opens her mouth a little, his touch still causing goose bumps and she doesn't know why she's still scared, this had been her plan all along. They weren't working together anymore, they already said the words and still nothing has happened, hence the poker night she organized.
"No rules," she whispers so softly he can't even hear it, but it's the way she's looking at him. The way her fingers are placed on his shoulders. The way she smiles that he moves his right hand to her chin and pulls her closer. Bringing her lips to his. He kisses her then and it is everything he remembered it to be; soft and sweet, but mostly it feels like the most natural thing in the world. He feels how she wraps her arms around his neck, how she's pulling him even closer. Every inch of their bodies is touching and yet it still isn't enough. He licks her lips, waiting for her to give him access.
She lets him and at the same time he lifts her up. His hands trailing over her hips to her thighs. She moans his name on his lips as she can hear him pushing the cards from the table. Placing her on top of it mere seconds later. He pulls back for a second, just to catch a breath and look at her before he brings her back to him. His lips in her neck as his hands move to her back. Her nails are pressed in his shoulders as he opens the clasp of her bra. She pushes him back a little, but she still lets him remove the piece of clothing completely. "I didn't know you won this round," she teases him. He just smirks shaking his head, kissing her again.
He lays her down on the table, and in the movement she stretches her left arm to reach for the bottle of whipped cream. She bites her own lip, removing the lid from the can. The sound this action makes, causing something to pop in Harvey's head. "Donna we can't," he stops her, an apologetic look on his face. She sighs, dropping the bottle as she gets back up. "Fine," she mumbles, letting her head hang down. She reaches for his shirt, suddenly feeling very naked. "Then this never happened," she decides.
He frowns then, there were those words again. The ones he didn't want to here. The ones he stopped whatever was going on for, just to not hear them. Not realizing that if he hadn't stopped them, she wouldn't have said them this time.
He watches her wrap his shirt around her body. He sees her reaching for her clothes, her shoes. How she's stumbling towards his door. He can't hear her soft sobs by the sound of her last words on repeat in his mind. This never happened.
It never happened.
And yet it did.
"No," he mumbles then. "Donna no …" he stutters reaching for her hand as his feet followed her. "What do you want Harvey?" she asks annoyed, fighting the tears in her eyes. She can't let him show how much this affected her. "This did happen," he tells her firmly, because he can't put it out of his mind again. He can't bottle up all those feelings for another twelve years. "Why?" she whispers, she isn't sure why he's telling her this. "Because I want it to happen," he reasons, and it's the truth. It's all he ever wanted.
She swallows. "Then why did you stop it?" she questions him. "Because I want it to happen without you telling me in the morning that it didn't," he continues. " I want it to happen and I want it to happen again. And again," he confesses, a small smile on his lips.
"Okay," she mumbles stepping closer to him. "In that case, I tell you tomorrow that I also want it to happen again. And again," she replies using his words. He smiles pulling her closer. "How about you to tell me now," he whispers on her lips.
"I. Want. It. To. Happen," she mumbles in between kisses. "Again. And. Again."
- The End