we walked down the big long starecase until we reached the end at the starecase, the bottom, the ass f the starecase.

"kev im chilly" connor complained as he walked next to my feet

"me 2 babae" i said and rubbed my arms but them i put my arms (which were a moderate temperature) around him because i am a GOOD BOYFRIEND also he was adorable.

"gosh its dark" james looked at chtis expectedly "i wish my husband could fix THAT" he was kind of grumpy but in a cool way like a distand aloof protagonist in a crime film

"haha nice one james" chris laughed and i laughed too because it was a funny joke but then poptarts started glowing and i stopped laughing

"um…...chris…..thats not normal" connor said scaredly

"haha i sold my soul" chris beamed at us, literally

"why, chris, that is the stupidest thing youve ever done and i remember one time you put five poptarts into your mouthhole at once and i had to perform the heimlich manouver on you"

"oh yeah haha" chris giggled

"actually that was more stupid than selling your soul"

"yeeaaaaah" he smiled and then glowed brighter

"Why did you even sell your soul?" i asked in a confused manner

"it had many perks" chris smiled mysteriously "mostly satan offered me endless poptarts"

"thats a fair deal" i nodded

we finally saw NATURAL LIGHT at the end of the long tunnel we had been walking down

"YEEEs" i punched the air but then screamed when the door opened

"yoooooooo" arnold look out from behind the door

"you made it" nabalungi smiled at us

"made it where? how do you know where we are? how many plot holes have been created? is this reasonable? who knows anymore im meant to be studying im wasting m y life here."

"anyway come on in! we made food!" nabu smiled at us and we walked in.

the room was big and warmand in the middle of a big table was a giant packet of doritos, so they obviously tried in the food preparation department but did they succeeed? no they did not.

"so what now?" connor asked, leaning into me

"now we start a new life…...freedom" chris smiled, a single tear runnign down his face (he was still giving off light)

"we dont have any school qualifications, we are going to die in this capitalist hellscape called america" james said dully. i was starting to like james, he kept things real.

"i have an etsy store" nabu said brightly

"okay thats fine we'll all live off your etsy store we are fine lets start a new life" james said, not even being sarcastic

"i could get a job as a dancer" connor said quietly.

"like….in a club?" I was doubtful, connor was a delicate flower, too pure for this world.

"no like on broadway!" He was really excited about this.

"NICE" I said, high fiving him.

"Anyway….why was the Mission President after you in a giant helicopter?" Nabu asked.

"Um he hates us I can't remember why…" I said.

"Oh he saw us hugging and assumed we were being sinners which is technically true but."

"Oh okie dokie!" Nabu smiled and then looked angry "He is a massive asshole. Fuck him. You don't need his shitty school."

"Wowo….that is a lot of swear for one person." Chris whispered in awe.

"I'm really angry okay, also I hate him he deserves to be beaten up. Also I'm not even religious, why do I even go to a mormon school another stupid plot hole DAMMIT." She thundered.

"I'm best friends with Stan, I'll hook you up." Chris winked.

"Who's Stan?" Nabu was lost.

"Oh sorry *Satan, haha I hate autocorrect." Chris turned purple (which is a hardcore red).

"Okay I was hoping Stan was a man with like a weapon or something but Satan will do as well i guess…" She said.

We were interrupted by a loud NNNNNYYYYAAAAAAA.

"Gosh if thats a helicopter then it needs a checkup." James said "In fact, I know a man that went to medical school to treat helicop-" He was cut off when the helicopter crashed through the ceiling.

"JAYSUS CHRAAIIST." Connor screamed as he was knocked into me.

It was horrible to see, it was a sight so ungodly that I, a good mormon boy had to sheild my eyes from its sin.

It was an ANimemobile!

"I'm coming for you, bakas!" The Mission President screamed as he landed the Animemobile.

"HOLY HECK." Connor hid behind me which was hard because i was already hiding behind him.

"You two have RUINED the kawaiiness of my SCHOOL!" The mission president yelled and his feet made him move towards us "You STOLE pink fizzy lifting drinks, which ruined my LIFE." He turned away sadly, "now senpai will never notice me…"

"um okay I dont know what that means." i said.

"haha you have no graasp of sophisticated linguistics."

"actuallment, je parle francias…" I frenched.

"NO I AM ALLERGIC TO FRENCH." He screamed, backing away from me and connor.


"Oui… casse-toi, ok? Tu me fait chier, suce ma bite, non, actuallement, nique ta mere, VA TE FAIRE FOUTRE." I frenched.

The mission president started crying "No…..i cannot handle it….so many tenses, so much pain….."

"Nique moi." I winked, "Je bande parce que tu es tres chaud." I frenched, probably incorrectly because I didn't have google translate or a dictionary with me.

"Thats….sinful." He gasped.

I smiled, delivering the final blow, "Oui oui mon amis, je m'apelle lafayette, the lanceleot from the revolutionary set, i came from afar just to say bonsoir, tell the king casse-toi, whose the best, c'est moi."

"NOOOOOO." He disintergraited, like voldermort.

"KEVIN YOU ARE MY HERO!" Connor smiled at me in a loving way. "You are incredible….."

I smiled and kissed him before turning to nabu and arnold. "Things are safe now, for both to hold board game nights every night and have your etsy store."

"Thank you so much, best friend!" Arnold smiled.

"Thank you Kevin! You are the coolest guy ever!" Nabu smiled.

"James, Chris, stay away from Stan, okay?" I smiled at them both, "Have a honeymoon that isn't in hell."

"We will, we'll be good! They said in unison.

"Good." I flexed my muscles and looked at Connor (who was looking at me adoringly), "Let's go and start a new life."

I flew upwards, growing a cape that fluttered behind me.

And we all lived happily ever after.

The End.

Kevin put his pencil down, sitting back and heaving a sigh on relief. Uganda had so far proved to be low on what Kevin considered to be literature, so he wrote his own.

Shifting through his papers, he quickly realised nobody could ever read his beautiful tale.

"The world isn't ready for this story." He whispered to himself. "It's too gay. And the protagonist is too charismatic, he'll capture the hearts of too many people." Reluctantly, he started to proofread, rediscovering the magic of the world he'd created. It almost moved him to tears, the beauty of his creation.

"Elder Price? Are you in here?" Connor poked his head round the door, causing Kevin to jump and hide his writing, "Oh, I didn't mean to disturb you Elder, it's just Naba and I are starting a dance class and we were wondering if you wanted to join in?"

"Of course I would, Conno- um, Elder." Kevin stood up quickly, shoving his work into a draw.

"Come on then!" Connor went to leave but stopped when Kevin didn't follow him. "I'll meet you out there, okay?" He said, gently, obviously assuming Kevin was upset about something.

"Oh, thanks." Kevin mumbled, blushing furiously as he remembered the words his pencil had written only moments ago.

"Are you okay, Elder? You know you can talk to me if there's anything bothering you!" He drew himself up to his full height, "I am your District Leader, after all!"

"I'm fine, thank you." Kevin smiled weakly, "You're really great, Connor."

"Oh, um." Now it was Connor's turn to go red, "Thank you, Kevin! Now I really must be going, meet me in a second okay?" He bustled out of the room, still blushing.

Kevin smiled at his retreating figure, a strange warmth filling him. "Je t'aime." He frenched.

Author's Note: Well that was a wild fucking ride. Fangz for reading, Prepz.