Chapter 11: "Here's what I'm gonna do"

Previously on Hell's Guard:


"Well done my boy!


"Keep up!"


"10K Jewels"


Hell's Guard, Main Hall

It had been a month since the guild received a new member and things had been picking up quite a lot. Especially with tons of jobs popping up, and most if not all requested Samuel to attend. Unfortunately this caused massive exhaustion as about a third of those jobs were semi-assassinations, another was bodyguard duty for hated individuals and the final stretch was mostly photo ops where he had to stand still while doing impressive yet incredibly tiring feats for hours until they took the photo. This left Samuel in a state of deliriousness, famine and temporal idiocy.

"Sam you need to rest. As your physician I must recommend this."

"No, I got… I got jobs to do."

Esmeralda decided to cut in and help.

"Honey, you and I both know you're tired so why not come with me for a little nap. I'll make it worth your while."

She said with a rather naughty undertone.

"Not now Jacob, I'm talking to Emma about resting."

They both looked at eachother and then back to Sam.

He surprised the rest of the onlookers when he stood up and called for their attention.

"Listen up, we have new members coming and I need you to keep your eyes open in case something is up."

Everyone took this seriously and kept their weapons at arms reach, even Avarice, who was currently tricking six guards out of their money, was ready for a rumble.

The front doors opened and let in…

"Holy shit its "The Pillar Men!" (Do not own them either)

Rey cried out.

Three men entered, two having beautiful golden hair, and one having long black hair, they all stood around 6,1 except for the black haired one who stood at 6,4 towering over his companions.

The one to the left was built lean, had his golden hair reaching down to his shoulders and a pair of deep, dark blue eyes. He had a tattoo of wings stretching across his shoulders, and a large tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon that was placed between the wings. He was wearing white slacks, a dark blue shirt, black boots that reach his knees, a blue and white jacket that reached down to his thighs with a cross on each shoulder. And finally he had a long sword that was kept in a harness on his back, it radiated energies that made most people think of church.

The one on the right was built with more muscles and broad shoulders, his hair was shaved at the bottom and longer on the top, what set him aside from his comrades however was his well tanned skin and his dark green eyes. He had a tattoo of the sun on his chest, and a tribal tattoo with holy runes laced through it going over his shoulder and all the way down to his wrist. He also seemed to have golden wings across his shoulders.

And finally, came the centrepiece of the trio.

The final member of the trio stood taller than his companions, with his long black hair and dark amethyst eyes his appearance was quite striking compared to the other two. He had a lot of tattoos on is body, most striking however was that of a fox on the front of his left hip that… he was… showing… MOVING ON! Tribal tattoos much like the one on his left going over his right shoulder down to his elbow that were also laced with holy runes. There were more holy runes down his right thigh and black wing marks across his shoulders. He was wearing black slacks tucked into soft, black boots, a tight, black sleeveless shirt and a black, knee length jacket with silver crosses on the shoulders and one over his left breast. His ears were pierced with silver studs.

The three new arrivals were all smiling at their welcoming committee, as Samuel continued.

"These three… There are three of you right?"

The three arrivals all looked at him with a questioning stare, before answering with a series of: "Yeah" and "yeps".

"Ok… These three are from left to right, Vander, Zen and Beck they're… uh."

Vander decided to "assist" Samuel's clear problem.

"We are brothers and the sons of the mage Laxus Dreyar, and yes ladies. I am available." He punctured his statement with finger guns, only to duck from a bench being thrown his way.

Zen merely shook his head at his younger brother.

"We used to be employed by the magic council, but we are now seeking somewhat of a safe haven where we are not always forced on lethal missions that may easily end in our deaths."

There was a silence punctured by Jacob.

"So you came to a sanctioned mercenary guild that focuses on lethal missions, in order to avoid them?"

"That is correct."

"Well you Dreyars sure are something."

Zen shrugged.

"What can I say, death is like a suit. Everyone has got it tailored for them and we felt unfitting for the jobs."

There was another silence, which was shattered by slight chuckling coming from Sam.

"He, he. Unfitting death suits."

Finally Beck decided to speak up with a smile.

"What I'm sure my older brothers are trying to say is that we look forward to working with you all and hope to treat you all like family and that you will treat us the same!"

He gave an adorable beaming smile.

Everyone took a step back with a hand in front of their faces, they were all shielding their eyes while thinking: "S-So bright!" at the same time.

Esmeralda was wearing sunglasses alongside Ilyana as they were both silently giggling at everyone's reactions.

As the introductions were over, Samuel, who was still standing even though exhaustion should have knocked him out, decided on their codenames.

"Okay… Zen already had one so he will be Raven. Beck… You will be sunshine because… Apparently you're very bright… or something."

The two brothers nodded, satisfied with their names.

"And Vander, you were going to be called Wolf, but my sister" he said as he gestured to a confused Alex.

"Chose that name instead of Revenant when she works here with us, so you're gonna have to solve who's gonna be Alpha… Or Omega… Or Beth…a?"

The two walked up to eachother, Ilyana being slightly taller than him, he gave her smooth smile, and she merely had a neutral face. He made several flirty gestures and facial expressions that promised some fun as he hoped to charm her into giving him the place he thought was his. Had he been a little more observant he would have noticed Jack, Zhuue and Esmeralda holding down Jacob whose hat was literally blazing as he was reaching for his guns.

Ilyana just let out some air from her nose and pulled out a steel rod that… Well that looked like a penis, details and all. This caused many an eyebrow to shoot up in question, before she caused quite an uproar when she shoved it rather deeply in her mouth causing many to stare with eyes wide and mouths agape. Vander was just smiling wider as his eyebrows kept bouncing up and down with intensity. Before everyone, Vander included brought their hands down to their privates as she, without blinking, bit cleanly through the phallic instrument and spat out the mangled half after chewing on it for a little while.

There was a dead silence, before she stared right at the frightened Vander, eyes cold as winter.


And with nothing more, Vander stepped aside and the Alpha stepped out of their impromptu ring, with a wide berth given by the male (and surprisingly, the female) populace, as she headed for her own room.

Samuel, who was now wobbling with terrible balance, spoke once more.

"Don't worry Wolf, my sister is a complete badass, she once bit off a guys leg and beat him with it… And ate my favourite spoon… Never saw that spoon again. Now if we are done with introductions we have work to do."

Everyone groaned and yelled at their glorious leader.


Even Zen and Beck joined in, Vander was still frozen in shock.

Samuel frowned and took of his helmet before opening the main door stairs that lead out into the frozen tundra outside of their base.

"Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna show you that I'm still alarmed and awake by running up and down those stairs without falling and show you that I can work a lot more before needing to rest, Okay?"

Everyone seemed to nod and motion for him to continue.

So Samuel, took a small running start towards the stairs, he moved faster and faster as his eyes began to close. And as he approached the stairs he fell right fucking through them with a massive crash, this caused everyone to jump in a mix of surprise and shock, as there now was a massive hole in the CONCRETE and IRON staircase.

"So… NOT IT!"

This was followed by a row of: "Not its" until the only one who hadn't said anything was Zhuue and Jack. Jack mostly because Zhuue had no chance.

An hour of lugging Sam later

As Samuel had been lugged over to his room they came back and everyone began to mingle.

Jacob, Rey and Raina were talking to Vander who had just recovered from his shock.

"So… you are using some sort of Celestial Lunar magic that originates from the Archangel line of magic?"

"Yes Rey, your ability to repeat what I just told you is astounding."

Rey made a most amusing face while Raina laughed. Soon she stopped and asked.

"So, you're interested in our aunt, eh? You know she could kick your ass seven ways from Sunday, right?"

Vander merely grinned.

"I love a woman that can kick my ass."

Jacob merely grunted and caused them to look towards him.

"I would advise against it, see she's already got someone gunning for her."

Vander took the challenge, all while grinning.

"Really, and who might that be? Pretty sure they can't match an Archangel."

What surprised Rey, Raina and Vander was the fact that Jacob gave a smile of his own.

Before his entire arm caught ablaze and nearly blinded them with its radiance.

"Someone, HOT AS HELL."

While the three of them were trying to comprehend when Jacob became so cool, another table was discussing another brother.

"So you singlehandedly managed to bring Fiore into war by creating a personal army of robotic soldiers that followed your every command, forced every guild to join forces to combat you. Nearly conquered the most critical location and faced our guild master in single combat until you were beaten by him, correct?"

"You are well informed, Captain Dreyar."

"I no longer have that rank and I would appreciate if you did not call me such, "Mistress."

There was a small huff of amusement from Sivanna.

"Wow, Zen, dude you are pretty damn cool. Like, way up!"

"Thank you Alex, praise from a murderer as skilled as you is better than threats that is for sure."

Alex was silent, before suddenly laughing.

"Oh I get it! Because threats are worse than praise! Especially from a murderer!"

Zen stared with a deadpan look.

"Yes, that is correct."

Brad, who was sitting there alongside Johnny, who was reading a comic for some reason, decided to ask something.

"Can you tell us anything about the operations you performed under the council, perhaps something that will aid our teamwork?"

Zen seemed to think this through before answering.

"No, sadly what we did was covert and I would prefer not to reveal such information without good reason, I hope you understand."

Brad merely nodded.

And at the last table we find… These guys.

Beck was idly chatting with the twins, Sensō and Ancheindo.

"So you see, the void isn't inherently evil. It merely looks menacing and counters most magic but it is basically just an empty room."

"I see. So you are not technically a demon that comes from another dimension to enslave and destroy us?"

"No Sensō, so you may stop throwing holy water at me."


Krytus sighed, as he was once more soaked in holy water by Sensō.

Meanwhile, Lucretzia was having a small conversation with Beck while Ancheindo was drinking some tea.

"So you were trained from when you were 6 years old at the magic academy in Crocus, and then joined the Magic Council's special forces along with your brothers?"


"Interesting, me an brother were both similarly trained from a young age, we were however mostly home schooled by our parents. Taught combat, magic, history, mathematics and proper linguistics with matching speech patterns. It has taken me quite an amount of time to modernize my speech. But I feel it is quite adequate at its current level. 'Tis quite a hardship to not fall back into ye older speech I was taught by mother."

Beck however was a bit transfixed on the beautiful woman in front of him. Her beautiful white hair, her alluring red eyes her innocent facial expression and her exotic tattoo around her left ear. It looked sinister but exciting at the same time.

"-Wouldn't you agree, Beck?"

"Hm? Yes indeed."

He snapped at attention as he had been transfixed by her beauty, she may have someone else gunning for her but he couldn't deny that he would gladly try and woo her. "His heart is in his sleeve, right?"

"So you agree with the fact that even if someone has no combative abilities tey can provide at least as much assistance for their allies as a member that fights?"

Beck's eyes widened as he confirmed.

"As long as they can assist it doesn't matter if they are fighting or not."

"See Ancheindo? You have helped us so much more than most of us that can just fight. You have saved more lives than most of us combined!"

Ancheindo smiled at the praise.

"I thank you for your kind words. I feel truly appreciated here. And I hope I may in turn make others feel the same here."

Everyone nodded at her words and continued to discuss until they were suddenly interrupted by the intercom chiming in.

"Listen up rooks, l33ts and bosses. This is one of your acting commanding officers saying its time to test out the three new guys! Protocol dictates that we send 'em on a mission that will evaluate 'em. But me 'n Emma here decided to spare some time and let y'all see a good 'ol fashioned fight! Report to the training area/battle arena for one hell of a show!"

Everyone cheered and headed off towards the arena in a rush, except for Sensō who stopped and looked behind him towards Ancheindo who simply sat there smiling, and drinking her tea.

"You coming?"

She merely smiled and shook her head.

"I won't be able to see the battle anyway, and besides someone has to tell Samuel where everybody went when he gets up. Tell me who won, alright?"

Sensō smiled and nodded at her.

"I will, see you soon."

And so he set off after the others, Ancheindo was once more left in peace with her tea.

A rather heavy stomping soon interrupted her peaceful ways, she turned towards the sound and once more smiled when she realized.

"Oh, hello sir! You're back so soon."

Battle Arena

Jack was sitting grumpily at a bench watching from the area closest to the arena itself, he was the medic after all and he had been against this thing from the beginning. Someone would get hurt badly, and he'd patch them up, and Sam would get really pissed. And he'd make that face. And he'd feel terrible about it. Stupid democracy, why must it be used against him?

Meanwhile near the centre stood the three Dreyars, all ready with their weapons of choice.

Vander stood with his long sword at the ready. Zen was dual wielding his katanas in an offensive position. And Beck was standing in a martial arts pose with his hands near his face much like a defensive block.

And on the opposing side stood Esmeralda with her long masamune katana, looking eager for a good scrap. Next to her stood Jacob, ready and willing with his twin revolvers spinning back and forth to show off some of his skill outside of battle. And finally, standing on her other side was Alexander who was just confused about the whole ordeal. As he looked around he saw everyone in the guild around him cheering, some had signs that said "Go Vander", "Zen give sum!" or "Beck give 'em heck!" while others had "Sheriff take 'em out!", "Ice queen REAL MEAN!" and Sivanna was standing at one area basically alone with a few Clankers with a large sign saying: "Show them your superior evolution and render them unable to carry on the conflict." She then turned it around and it said "FUCK THEM UP."

At the audience area

Meanwhile on the stands Dark Horse squad were watching.

"Be ready to observe them, we can gather Intel on their skills and teamwork and perhaps learn their weaknesses in case we are required to battle them."

Cam nodded at his leaders wise words.

"Understood squad lead, this'll probably be very educational as they seem to only use close combat. Maybe you'll pick up a few tricks, eh Johnny?"

There was no response.


As he turned around he saw Johnny had run off towards their newest "moneyman", Mammon, or Avarice, as he liked to be called was apparently starting a small betting pool.

"Come on, come on! Were talking a big fight here, any and all bets are taken! Full winnings delivered to either part. In the event of a draw cash goes to house, that clear?"

Soon enough Johnny shuffled in past the mass of gamblers.

"Eh, do you take items as betting currency"

Avarice smiled.

"Damn right! If it's got worth I'll make it work!"

He was handed one of Johnny's custom boom daggers (patent pending).

"Oh, custom, techie and deadly. This is worth a bit."

It was deconstructed in his right hand, and then a glow flowed towards his left and was remade into a lump sum of Jewels.

"Oh, nice. So what's your bet?"

"Er, I bet for a tie! Or something!"

Avarice thought this over, before answering in a hushed tone.

"Give me half the winnings and I'll hook you up with some pretty good upgrades for your knives. Deal?"


They shook hands and Johnny returned to his seat with his team focusing on the centre of the arena where Jack was standing with a mike.


"Alright, the rules are simple. No lethality, no killing, no assaulting a weakened enemy who is unable to battle. You all fight until either of you is incapacitated, surrenders or is in a "death grip" AKA a situation where you can be killed by a simple move. Much like a blade at the throat. At first sign of serious damage I will interfere. Are we clear?"

Everyone nodded and went into position.

"Very well, let the examination begin!"

And so started the battle that would evaluate the power of the Dreyars, while also showing them the power of their superior officers.

The six fighters immediately engaged eachother in close combat… Save for Alexander who was still just standing there confused.

First to engage were the "leaders" of each team, Zen engaged Esmeralda in a quick sword lock before swiftly turning it into what could only be described as a blade storm. While Zen's two katanas did give him an edge in offensive and swift strikes, his opponent used sword and sheath in defence and was far more experienced in combat due to her age of service. Not saying he was at a disadvantage but he was going to have a good, hard fight.

After the probable fifth time they had clashed and not done any damage, Esmeralda spoke.

"Impressive skills, steadfast determination and superior swordplay. You worked in the special forces correct?"

He nodded while nimbly parrying three swift strikes.

"Indeed, I am curious as to how you could tell without me mentioning it in your presence."

She gave a smirk.

"Back when I worked for the council, I fought every swordsman from every division. Except for the Special Forces. Your style is like nothing I have previously fought. So show me what passes for skill among your brethren!"

He smirked as he began charging up his magic.

"As you wish, however I expect you to show me your strength in kind."

She merely grinned as ice started forming around the floor where she stood. Before both of them charged eachother with blades at the ready and magic charging.


Jacob was firing after Vander with his pistols, every shot was close but his target just kept dodging.

"Good to know you can run, boy! But can you actually fight?"

His opponent's continuous frustration and irritation were increasingly amusing to Vander.

"Course, just feel I should let the old man have a go first!"

His smirk came to an abrupt end when a wall of fire came up in front of him, blocking his movement and limiting it towards Jacob.

Who just so happened to be walking forward with a rather evil looking smirk.

"This is gonna be fun."

Vander thought quickly and blasted Jacob with his Redemption magic, which was quite similar to celestial body magic but with more holy power than star.

Jacob's head snapped back, before he turned back with pure RAGE in his eyes.

While hell hath no fury like a woman twice scorned, a merc with firepower, fire magic and a lot of anger comes pretty damn high on the list.

Vander could only say one thing as he unsheathed his long sword.


And finally.

Alexander was still standing confused, still not sure what he was supposed to do, looking much like a confused Travolta-GIF.

Meanwhile, Beck stood at the ready with his halberd poised to strike.

"Uh, what am I supposed to do?"

Beck looked at him questioningly before answering.

"Fight me."


"It is part of our initiation."


"To gauge our strength."

"Oh, so I'm gonna fight you?"


"Ok, how hard?"

This caught Beck off guard, he wasn't sure if this was an attention span test or if this guy was messing with him.


Maybe it was a test!

He smirked as he figured it out.

"Everything you got! Don't stop until one of us is incapable of standing up."

Alex made an "OH" face, as he finally realized what he was supposed to be doing.

(I can already tell this is going to be a rollercoaster ride of fuckuppery.)

With almost no warning, Alex leapt forward and bowled beck over, before his right hand turned into one of his usually seen "Death Claws" as he used his left to hold his opponent down.

"You lose, time to die."

Beck was honestly surprised, and scared. Alexander was an unpredictable foe and he honestly was worried this might be his end.

"Pfft! He is so scared! I'll just shove my claw into the ground next to him and tell him psych!"

His little thoughts were interrupted by a fierce cry of "NO!" from his right and before he knew it he was blasted sideways by a bright shining light, and suddenly he felt two blades slice through his right arm as he crashed into the floor, and was suddenly screaming in pain as he was suddenly ablaze.

What had happened was that Vander had seen his younger brother's predicament and with the help of the eldest brother had surprised their opponents with a combined magic assault and dashed to their younger sibling's aid, Vander striking Alex with a mighty punch augmented by his magic, Zen slicing off the offending arm with his katanas. And finally Beck, more out of reflex, used his own magic to set Alex ablaze, after a few seconds he realized the horror of what he had done.

This was an evaluation! Not a death battle!

"I'm so sor-"

A sudden pain cut him off as he was launched towards his brothers that managed to catch him, before he slammed into a wall.

As they looked, they saw Sivanna standing in front of the burned, writhing Alex. Her eyes filled with anger. Her blades extended fully.

"Touch him again and I will rip out your spines."

As if to solidify her point, a taller and more metallic figure stepped up behind her. It extended a pair of familiar chainsaw blades, as well as a pair of guns sticking up from it's shoulders, all of it aimed at the three brothers.

Vander and Zen stepped up to their brother's defence.

"He was trying to kill our brother, we acted accordingly."

"Yeah, how bout you warn us next time as psycho is part of an evaluation!"

Jacob and Esmeralda arrived to defuse the situation, but things seemed to only escalate as Jacob saw Alexander's state.

"Aw hell no! It's on now punks!"

"Stand down Jacob."

"No! You don't get to tell me to just sit by while one of my pals is a fucking crispy fry!"

"Clearly a training accident, these things happen. So put your guns away, or else."

"Accident?! This shit coulda killed him! Now step the fuck back or I'll show you how we handled traitors back home."

Esmeraldas neutral face became a deep frown.

"You are pushing your luck."

Her hand reached for her sword as she pulled it out and brandished it with harming intent towards him.

"AND my patience."

Additional people joining up alongside Esmeralda with weapons trained on Jacob and Sivanna, among them Dark Horse and his squad interrupted their little squabble.

"Sorry, sir. But we cannot allow her to harm our new members."

Jacob scoffed.

"You're just salty 'cuz you lost one of your own."

A small frown made it's way to Brad's face.

"That may be, but it does not make it any less right."

Everyone was quite surprised to see Rey and Raina joining up with Jacob rather than their mother.

"Father always taught me to stand by my battle brothers, even if it means fighting my own."

Everyone made a slight eyebrow rise at this rather noble statement, before looking at Rey with less than enthusiastic expressions.

The man in question, blushed slightly before taking a deep breath and saying:

"Love makes you do stupid things."

This caused even the people on Rey's side to look at him with great surprise and shock. Nobody had expected this answer, not even his mother.

Sivanna noticed a small rise in her internal body temperature, and an unusual rise in the amount of blood around her facial area but she ignored it, as it was not relevant to the current situation.

Esmeralda shook her head out of her stupor.

"While I am both proud and happy for you both, I will still demand you all to stand down. Lest I should take action."

More and more of the people around started to pick sides, the twins joined up with Esmeralda, Zhuue and Sensō joined up with Jacob, Jack desperately tried to stop the escalation and Ilyana went to Jacob. The tension was thick enough to slice with a knife. No side would back down, all weapons at the ready; a single spark could set everyone off into a bloody battle.

Unfortunately for them, this spark was a goddamn titan.

Suddenly, the very ground rose and struck everyone in the face! Knocking them all down to the ground, as they all regained their bearings they looked towards the entrance as they heard a rhythmic thumping. They saw Ancheindo standing there looking quite concerned as the thumping continued.

Soon a very familiar form stood at the door, and it caused them all to become slightly worried.

Samuel had finally arrived and was wearing full armor, including his helm that covered his entire face from them.

"I just had a horrible thought, that I was leading the most powerful bunch of mercenaries in Fiore. And that if I let them alone they would… Get into trouble."

As he said this he began clenching his fist and almost simultaneously everyone around began to either be crushed in one area of their body or lifted into the air or even chocked depending on where they had metal.

"Now I know you idiots wouldn't be stupid enough to start infighting, would you now?"

Quickly he was answered with multiple heads shaking and some saying "No!" rapidly. Satisfied with the answer, Samuel released everyone as they caught their breaths.

"Make no mistake, I have a simple two chance policy and this was your first chance. Next time there will be consequences for anyone targeting a friendly, and I am a man who sees pain as the finest teacher. Am. I. Clear?"

Everyone nodded in perfect sync.

"Good, now I have some… News."

As he said this, another pair of footsteps was heard coming from the door, and as the person arrived, Brad tightened his fists and Esmeralda started to grit her teeth.

Agent Saren Sidonis had once more returned in his white, black, bluish armor.

"Ah, Sammy I see you've expanded your ranks and redecorated! Love the new arena… Why does it smell like bacon?"

"Jack see to Alexander's rapid recovery, we need him for another job."

"Yes sir."

"WELL seeing as you are all independent mercenaries. I would like to inform you all about the current status quo outside of Fiore!"

He was met with silence and raised eyebrows.

"Fiore has been in a period of peace since your little excursions and missions, so outside nations have asked us for assistance. So in response we are sending, you."

"Why would we accept a request such as this? We are quite comfortable here and we know nothing of these nations. Even Alvarez is a mystery to us."

Brad pointed out logically.

"Yeah, we got a pretty good deal here. And I don't feel like busting Rey out of prison in another nation."


"You will accept these missions, because they are offering a few of their own mercs as payment alongside relics, weapons, money and international relations."

This caused a murmur of agreement from everyone present.

"And we shall pay for transportation to any and all locations that are to be travelled towards, you will also get a week of vacation there as well!"

Everyone agreed that these were fine prizes indeed.

"Alright, what would you have your mercs do?"

Sidonis smiled as he once more succeeded in persuading them.

"Sammy, if you please."

Samuel sighed and turned towards his mercs with Alex now sitting on a stretcher with his arm reattached and his skin slowly healing.

"There are several locations that are to be handled by us, they are all given to those who may have an edge in the area."

He brought out a lacrima that showed several locations.

"Dark Horse, you and your squad are to attend a party in club Errera, in the small nation of New Mombasa, you will assassinate the DJ and his accomplices and exfiltrate the area."

The small lacrima showed a very shiny orange club with masses of neon on it, as well as dozens of patrons standing in line to enter.

Brad looked to his squad mates and nodded as they did, before turning to his leader.

"Understood sir, we will handle it."

"Good. Next is an assault mission on a nearby fleet base taken over by a dark guild calling themselves the Night Lords, they are planning on assaulting several transports and civilian boats. We need it wrecked. Sensō, you Rey and Raina will be handling this."

The lacrima proceeded to show what looked much like an oilrig but with more armoured ships, canons and skulls with bat wings on it.

Rey and Sensō fist bumped at the prospect of working together officially, while Raina had a look of absolute dismay on her face.

"Next we have a village that requires assistance called Catachan, in the country of Ultima. There are several lethal plants and acidic pools that are making life miserable for the general populous, so we need medical assistance and some foresight. Jack, Zhuue, Ancheindo I hope you all enjoy a jungle vacation."

The area shown by the lacrima seemed like regular jungle, until they noticed a large snake eating a tiger.

Zhuue had a safari hat on her head and gave thumbs up.

Jack turned towards Ancheindo and smiled slightly.

"I'll describe and bring back anything amazing we find in nature for you."

"Thank you Jack, I appreciate the gesture."

"Ilyana, you and the twins are heading for outpost X12 in Aridia. Desert and army defence. Up for it?"

Several men in olive green armor were guarding a large fortress against a cliff wall in a desert like area with their right arms replaced by a small canon, looking rather understaffed.

She gave a wolfish grin.

"Come on little cubs, the Alpha is about to show you how it's done!"

The twins looked mildly concerned.

"Sister I am scared."

"Be strong brother, for Samuel."

"Wonderful, Alex… Alex get up."

"No, I am hurt, and recovering."

Samuel sighed tiredly.

"I will cook you an entire pot of spaghetti when you finish the job and come back."

He suddenly jumped up with his skin fully healed and his left arm turned into a claw and his right formed as a blade, all regrown and nice.

"Hungry for action dad! I mean MAN!"

"You are to head for a derelict ship near Catachan."

The lacrima showed a rusted massive transport ship that seemed to drift randomly at sea, completely at the mercy of the currents.

"Sweet! I can finally be a pirate!"

"… Moving on, Archangel squad. You three are coming with me, Glacier and Sheriff to Sanctuary, Arreat."

Zen got a little suspicious at the lack of info.

"Any information you forgot to mention, guild master."

Samuel looked towards him, face unreadable underneath his helmet.

"No, we were contacted in order to handle something, otherworldly, I am hoping that hellfire, sacred ice and literal holy power will work. This is a high risk mission so I am joining in order to make sure it goes well."

The area shown by the lacrima was a massive crater with a lot of lava pooling either around, within it or blasting upwards at random.

The three brothers looked to eachother, then at Jacob and Esmeralda, and finally at Samuel. Jacob and Esmeralda did the same before the two groups answered ok.

"And finally, Avarice you and Sivanna are to aid the Korgon resistance on Tyhrranosis, more specifically at Kavu Island. Avarice, you will be selling counterfeit weaponry and armor to the imperials in order to sabotage their efforts while Sivanna will use the resistance base to create a new improved mechanized army for them to use as their numbers are steadily falling. Is that understood?"

The final location showed was a base smaller than the X12 one, but had a lot more of the olive coloured troops fighting against navy blue troopers with metal golems attacking. The island shown consisted mostly of sand and large rocks used for cover.

The two were stunned.

"So you are telling me that I get to sell cheap pieces of scrap, to a bunch of suckers and get paid their wages, AND I get to keep that money AND I get paid afterwards?!"

"… Yes"

Avarice sniffled slightly.

"Sir, would you consider adopting me?"

Samuel just stood there with a sweat drop.

"Maybe later."

"And you are allowing me to not only restart my mechanized army, but to make more improvements and actually use them to benefit the changing of a country WITH firepower and violence? AND I will be in command?"

He nodded.

"Guild master, I require your permission."

"For what?"

"I wish to court your son."

"… Just fucking… Everybody gets going now before I decide to punch everyone in the dick/pussy to punish everyone."

They all stood still, unable to fully grasp the fact that they just heard their leader to tell them to fuck off before he punched them in their nether regions.


And so the guild set off into the new regions they were to handle.

He just shook his head as he walked alongside his "new squad" to handle the otherworldly problem.

"Maybe this won't go completely fuckshit wrong."

He would soon change his mind however.

A/N: God damn am I sorry for making you guys wait! Been a lot of stuff I needed to get done, and work on so I haven't had the time and motivation has eluded me fro quite some time and Mass Effect: Andromeda. Lots of stuff really. But here we are at least. Happy Easter and all that. Review, Follow and Favourite for more merc tales and don't forget we are always looking for more members.

Oh yeah, short chap sorry but I need some cliffhanging for you guys to grab!