A/N: I wrote this for a prompt by biggestdisappointmentinwarfare on Tumblr. The prompt was to describe myself as though I was introducing a character in a story.


Garrus looked up from the files he'd been studying for the last two hours about the robbery at the volus ambassador's apartment to find his partner's butt sliding onto the right corner of his desk, the only surface free from his computer terminal and the assorted datapads he'd collected about the case. He growled, not bothering to reign in his annoyed subharmonics, and pushed Hammond off with the barrel of his unloaded gun. "What do you want?"

Hammond straightened himself for a moment, then promptly flattened his palms on the desk and leaned closer. Garrus sighed.

"Garrus, old buddy," the man whispered, "what do you think of our new recruit?"

"Which one?"

"Monique. Pale face, brown eyes, long black hair?"

Garrus's eyes flitted over to the other side of the room. Oh. Her. "She's okay, I guess. Quiet. A bit scatterbrained sometimes."

Hammond huffed out an amused chuckle. "Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck, glanced over his shoulder, then leaned even closer. "I'm thinking of asking her out. Could you, uh, go over and find out if she'd be open to the idea? Maybe this evening?"

Garrus's brow plates shot up in confusion. "Why ask me? Never pegged you for the bashful kind."

"I'm not, but she likes you, and she ignores me as much as she can. Just… say a few good words for me, will ya?"

Garrus craned his neck to take a better look at the human female. She glanced up from her computer screen, locked eyes with him for a second, then quickly looked away, her face suddenly much more pink than before. Hmm. Interesting.

With a sigh, he slowly stood up and patted his partner on the shoulder. "All right. Just this once."

"Thanks, buddy." Hammond shot him a grateful grin, and watched as Garrus walked over to the woman, all swagger and self-confidence, until he came to stand by Monique's desk and began to talk. After that, it was like watching two shy nerds trying to make conversation, glancing at each other, then looking away, then smiling, and laughing, and talking some more.

By the time Garrus came back, Hammond could barely contain himself. "So?" he asked as soon as the turian had stopped by his side and started gathering up his files.

"Well," Garrus said, doing anything he could to avoid looking at his partner, "she's open to going out this evening."

Hammond grinned. "Great! Thanks bu—"

Garrus raised a hand. "Not with you. With me. Like you said, she likes me. Really likes me."

Hammond's jaw dropped. "What?"

Garrus clapped him on the shoulder, his mandibles flicking out in a grin of his own. "Sorry, pal. Better luck next time."

He shoved the datapads in his drawer and walked back to the human female's desk. "Ready?"

She nodded, picked up her bag, and gave him an enthusiastic smile. "I've been ready ever since I came to work here and saw you."

On their way out, Monique beamed at Hammond and gave him a wink. "Thanks for sending him over. Appreciate it."