Author: Alicia of the Temptation.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Fandom: Danny Phantom.
Summary: Where was his human side? Where was the fun loving kid who didn't have to worry about ghost hunting or protecting a town, or hiding a secret?
Warnings: AU. OOC!Danny. Depression. Dissociation. Some mature language.
Notes: I was browsing the Danny Phantom tag on Tumblr when I found we-are-all-temporary's really awesome head-canon about Danny's dissociation with his human half. I asked her for permission to use her head-canon as inspiration so, now I'm writing this in her honor! I really hope I do a good job, and readers enjoy it!
He was fifteen, and he wasn't supposed to deal with this amount of shit.
As Danny sucked Skulker into the Fenton Thermos, he let out a long, tired sigh. His shoulders were tense and sore from the ghost fighting and his life at home. Hell, everything hurt, and he was fifteen, and he shouldn't be dealing with this amount of shit.
Seriously, he shouldn't.
Danny floated over the buildings in downtown Amity Park, sore and tired, so fucking tired. He tilted his head as he looked down at his hometown, turning invisible to not alert the civilians.
Fights with ghosts normally ended when they fought in the sky, as if the higher altitude can improve any sort of attack. But, it felt as if it wasn't helping Danny. Sure, it helped his fighting – there was nothing to destroy, nothing to accidentally maim – but it wasn't helping him.
He closed his eyes, a prickling sensation coming to his eyes. Almost every day, there was a ghost fight. Whether it was Skulker, or Desiree, or even that pathetic Box Ghost. He never had any time to just rest and relax, and be a normal teenage boy.
His hands began to tremble while they held onto the thermos, and he gripped the device even harder, eyes closed as he flew higher into the air, releasing his invisibility.
Was he just a ghost, fighting other ghosts to defend his territory? A ghost with an obsession with fighting, or defending, or something, anything, related to being a hero?
Where was his human side? Where was the fun loving kid who didn't have to worry about ghost hunting or protecting a town, or hiding a secret?
He flew higher, and higher, as high as he could while still being able to see his hometown. Then, he stopped, and looked down at the ground below him.
It was already two in the morning, the town was dark, and his parents had given up on ever staying up for him. Danny didn't blame them.
He placed the thermos on the clip of his belt, eyes finally releasing hot tears down his cheeks. He hated crying, he hated it, but he felt so, so bad.
He wasn't human. He wanted to feel human. He needed to feel human.
The idea came up with a blink of his eyes. He took a deep breath as he completed this thought, imagined it, and he liked it.
He wanted to free-fall. Fall from this height and feel every bit of adrenaline. Feel the wind blow against his face and hair. Feel his heart, his human heart, pound against his chest as he fell, fell, fell down to the ground.
Another deep breath then, he closed his eyes and reached for that part of him, that icy-cold part of him that made him a damn halfa. Reached for the switch that turned him back into weak, human Fenton.
Two glowing white rings appeared around his waist, then separated, turning Phantom to Fenton. And, as a human, there were no invisibility to hide him, and no levitation powers to keep him air-borne.
He fell faster, feet first, and the scream coming from his stomach was stuck in his throat. Danny blinked quickly, hair moving about before he maneuvered in the air to dive down, head-first.
His heart was beating, beating, fast against his chest. Blood pumping through his veins, human blood made his arms feel real, this freeing moment of no gravity, no levitation, nothing holding him back. The few tears he shed dried quickly in the cold air. This falling, this free-falling, making him feel weak, powerless, human.
It was perfect in a way he never expected.
Danny saw his town come closer and closer to view, and immediately switched back into Phantom, diving down before flying up to a nearby roof.
Huffing, gasping, he returned to Fenton and landed on the roof. And smiling, smiling, he enjoyed the feeling of his heart beating against his chest, of his lungs straining to breath, of his blood warming his body.
Of being here. Of being real. Of being human.
He was human. Maybe half human, but human enough to feel this incredible sensation.
Danny closed his eyes and smiled, still straining for breath. He was here, he was real, he was human, and it felt so freaking good to feel human again.
He just had to do that again. Because he hadn't felt human in a long time, and that rush of free-fall was incredible, and unexplainable, and just so perfect. And he had to, had to, had to, do it again.
Tomorrow night, I'll do it again.