TOBIAS POV (Directly after chapter fifty four in allegiant)
I don't know how long I have stayed on the floor. My whole body feels numb and
disconnected. I slowly rise to my feet, I bend over and plant a kiss on Tris' forehead and I
walk out of the room.
As I open the door I see Christina crouching along the wall with red bloodshot eyes. I think
she calls my name but I can't be sure. I feel as though someone has put my brain into a
bubble and I'm processing everything in slow motion. As I walk down the corridor it is like
the rest of the world is still moving at normal speed. I don't understand why they aren't in
the same world of hurt that I am in. But how can they be? They don't know her like I do,
they don't love her the way I do.
I can feel the tears starting to stream down my cheeks as I walk into the room that we
have been sharing with our friends whilst at the bureau. I don't know where I'm walking
but my feet seem to be taking me there anyway. I walk out of the dormitory down the
hallway and through the door to the room we spent our last night together.
I walk over to the couch barely able to see through the tears now. As I lay down on the
couch I can smell Tris and that is when the sobbing starts. I haven't cried since I was little,
definitely not since my mother died. this is not like crying at all, my whole body is shaking
and I feel like I can't breathe, my sobs feel as though they are engulfing my whole body.
I hug one of the cushions to my body trying to breathe in Tris's scent as I rock from side to
side calling her name. Time seems to be standing still. I feel someone shaking my shoulder
and calling my name. If I ignore them I'm hoping they will just let me be. Then I realise
it's Marcus I can hear, this makes no sense to me at all, how can he be here? It feels like
forever that he continues to shake my shoulder and call my name. There is no way that I
am going to acknowledge him, not now, hopefully never again.
I must have dosed off, I can still feel and hear my sobs and I'm still calling her name but now
there is someone else shaking my shoulder and calling my name. It is so much gentler
than when Marcus had done it. The female voice sounds familiar, it's sounds so similar
to Tris. But it can't be Tris can it? I just want to keep my eyes closed and keep listening
to the voice calling my name, it is haunting and comforting all at the same time. If I just
stay here long enough maybe I'll wake up and it really will be Tris waking me up and this
nightmare will be over.
"Tobias you have to wake up, please wake up for me", she is saying to me. I slowly open
my eyes and gasp, I can't believe what I am seeing. I sit up and wrap my arms around
her and say, "Ï can't believe you're alive."