Now everyone knew that a bored Harry was a bad thing. Or at least anyone unfortunate enough to know Harry that well would. What that meant right now was that the young man was busing himself by picking SG-1's resident Jaffa's brains on how to fly the ship they'd found themselves on.

There were various reasons for this. One, it was interesting. Genuinely so. Hardly a surprise for a bloke who liked flying fast things. And from what he gleaned thus far, the Al'Kesh was anything but a slouch. Some of the numbers in fact were staggering.

Faster than any broom in-atmo, as O'Neill had mentioned when asked, and well over twenty percent the speed of light on the sub lights. Well, the numbers for the latter were so large it didn't really make sense to him. There was simply no comparison.

While Harry asked his questions, the youngster was also subtly performing Legilimency on the Jaffa, who he must say had an excellently sorted mind.

O'Neill's, by comparison, was a jumbled mess when he took a peek. The Elder wand made the experience unnoticed by the reserved giant. So unwittingly, while simply listing statistics about the vessel, Teal'c was also giving the Wizard a crash course in its operation.

The second reason was slightly more insidious. Harry tasted adventure, and after meeting with this Hammond guy he planned on taking this thing for a quick rip around the block, as the Americans liked to say. All right, maybe not quite. The onboard computer contained a database with the location of every Gate world the Goa'uld were aware of, as well as a few with no gates at all. He simply wanted to visit a few, and you know, see the sights.

Oh yeah, the Stargates. He'd been pretty intrigued when Teal'c's mind let that one slip. Metal rings that could take you to other worlds almost instantaneously would do that to anyone. It made the young Wizard wonder what else was up there he didn't know about. Before he could ponder this further, however, the first of their 'friends' began to stir. Bound in the thick ropes, the man (alien?) couldn't do much other than glare at the trio.

"So…" O'Neill walked over their prisoner, casually twirling a staff weapon as if it was a stick he'd found on a stroll.

"…mind telling us why you had the audacity to interrupt my fishing trip?"

The arrogant (Harry was assuming) Jaffa began spitting out what must have been very colorful insults in his native tongue. A quick translation charm on his ears kept Harry in the loop, and with every sentence, the teen's eyebrows rose and his grin spread.

Some of these were actually pretty good, even if he didn't know what some of the nouns meant. Probably nothing flattering.

O'Neil looked to Teal'c for clarification, though shot Harry a questioning look as well.

"He was referring to your mother, O'Nei..."

"Say no more!" the Air Force Colonel practically shouted. Sometimes Teal'c didn't grasp the concept of too much information. Jack kinda walked into that one though.

"What does your God want with us now?" The mocking tone when using that word always seemed to get them riled up. That and the fact that Heru'ur and the Tau'ri were especially fond of one another (sarcasm). The Jaffa looked like he'd bitten into a lemon.

Jack didn't receive an answer, but Harry sure did. Seems that they wanted to hand Teal'c over to his old master Apophis as part of some weird peace deal. Images of the Serpent Goa'uld flashed in Harry's head.

Apophis was preparing to strike…Earth. Huh, son of a bitch. Guess his road trip would have to wait a bit. Wait a minute, how did one of Heru'ur's foot soldiers know of an attack planned by another Goa'uld? Pushing his Legilimency probe further into the Jaffa's mind, Harry met unexpected resistance… in the form of another entity?

Hold the phone, didn't Teal'c say that the Goa'uld liked to take control of a host in some weird form of hijacking? This wasn't a Jaffa at all then, it was a Goa'uld! The creature seemed to realize what was happening at leveled its gaze at him.

Harry was conflicted. He wanted to tell his new friends about the impending attack but didn't want to tell them he could, and had, read their minds. Muggles it seemed didn't like that ability to much. Well, not that Magicals were any different, but at least they could do something about it. The smart ones anyway.

Fortunately, there seemed to exist a third option. Snapping his fingers, the young man again dove into his magical trunk, disappearing over the side, nearly folded at the waist, legs dangling haphazardly, before popping back out and clutching a small clear vial of liquid.

The comical and shocked looks he got from the others only made him grin all the wider.

"What? Is that a potion of some kind?" O'Neill said in jest, causing Harry to roll his eyes at the dumb question.

"No, I just like to keep my hard liquor in tiny glass containers." he snapped. "Of course, it's a potion."

The Colonel had never really dealt with a sassy teenager like this. Sure, Daniel came close, but at least he was a bit more diplomatic about it. Harry hovered over the bound Jaffa, his eyes twinkling in a way that made the bound Goa'uld worry.

"All right, mate. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Your choice." He shook the small vial for no particular reason. Veritaserum didn't suffer ingredient settling, so shaking it was unnecessary. Predictably, the bound man kept his mouth firmly shut. Harry pinched his nose shut, but only after hitting him with a petrification spell to keep him from thrashing around.

O'neill, ever willing to partake in such silly little games, glanced at his stylish wristwatch, keeping track as they waited. He lasted an impressive three minutes, then finally caved and gasped for air, allowing Harry to administer three drops.

The result was instantaneous. The warrior ceased to struggle and adopted a sort of spaced-out look.

"What is your name?" he stated loud and clearly.

"Maruck." The answer came instantly. Harry turned to O'Neill and Teal'c. "It's working." With a nod of gratitude, and perhaps concern at the kid's resources the leader of SG-1 stepped up.

"Why did you kidnap us?"

Maruck continued staring, not bothering to acknowledge that his arch-enemy was pumping him for information.

"The great and powerful god Heru'ur wanted the Shol'va returned for his punishment."

O'Neill looked at Teal'c. "How did you know we were going to be off base?"

"A spy."

O'Neill leaned closer, staring intently at Maruck. "Who?"

"I do not know."

"The hell you don't!" the American barked. "Tell me who?"

"Colonel!" Harry interrupted. "The Veritaserum in his system makes him unable to lie. If he says he doesn't know, then he really can't tell you."

"Shit." O'Neill backed off. "All right, do you know who does know?"

"Heru'ur."

"Figures." The now agitated Air force Officer began pacing back and forth, mind going a mile a minute. Clearly, the thought of a spy in their midst was weighing heavily on the man. Teal'c meanwhile took over the questioning. "Jaffa, can you tell us why Heru'ur would risk this vessel and its crew to bring back a single traitor?"

O'Neill stopped pacing. It was a valid question. Teal'c was numero uno on the System Lord's laminated shit list, but never had he been intentionally targeted like this. They were usually too busy squabbling like a bunch of children to plan something with this sort of complexity.

Harry relaxed minutely, glad that he didn't have to ask the question himself. This way the muggles, strange as though they were, wouldn't suspect that he knew more than he ought to. Of course, he could always BS and tell them Divination was a thing. The thought amused Harry.

"My Lord wants the traitor presented as a gift to Apophis, whom he wishes to ally himself with." O'Neill froze mid-step.

"Heru'ur and Apophis are forming an alliance?" Even O'Neill understood enough about Goa'uld politics to know that such an agreement would tip the balance of power within the System Lords favor. And neither Apophis nor Heru'ur was especially fond of the Tau'ri.

"Yes." The bound Jaffa answered though the response times were getting longer. They had, at best, a few more minutes. It seemed that the parasite was purging the Veritaserum out of its host's system at a truly astonishing rate. Harry tapped his wrist, informing the two that their time was almost up.

"Where will this meeting take place?"

"Tobin." Maruck hissed the World's name but spasmed violently before revealing a time. Harry shot another stunner at the seething Jaffa/Goa'uld, who had regained control over his mind and was now shouting profanities left, right, and center.

Fortunately, Teal'c recognized the name, and better yet, the star coordinates. They once again contacted the SGC, but O'Neill demanded they speak to Hammond alone.

Harry remained quiet, arms folded and leaning against one of the decorative walls that made up the cockpit. Occasionally he'd gaze out of the thick angular windows and observe the swirling blue and purple light show that he knew to be 'Hyperspace', the term for honest to god faster than light travel.

He shook his head. A few hours ago, he was hitchhiking on a Colorado highway, ignorant of the happening beyond the Earth. Now though it felt as though his eyes had been opened. There was a whole galaxy out there. A galaxy that didn't know jack shit about Harry Potter and his, retrospectively, relatively minor fame.

Harry grinned. Smashing.

Refocusing on the conversation between the heavily accented Texan and his subordinate, he cemented his plans to leave Earth once this situation was resolved.

"…can't tell anyone but SG-1 about the spy. We need to flush this guy out before he can do serious damage, but only Heru'ur knows the agent's identity. Sir, I suggest we pick up Carter and Daniel and make our way to the planet with the Al'Kesh. It'll take longer, but the spy won't be able to blow the whistle that way."

The com channel was silent for a few moments before Hammond agreed.

"The rest of SG-1 and Jacob Carter will be waiting for you topside with the equipment you'll need."

With a rough plan banged out, the conversation turned to Harry himself.

"Sir, when the Jaffa took us they captured a civilian as well. He's here with us."

Harry took offense at being called a civilian, but he supposed the shoe did fit. Sort of.

"Why was he taken?" Hammond asked, sounding a little guarded. Little too late for that now, Harry thought with a small snort. That Cat's already well and truly out of the bag.

"Well, sir," O'Neill was rubbing the back of his neck, unsure of how to say the next bit. "-he kinda took down two Jaffa just before we were ZAT'ed."

There was another pause, so the Colonel forged on. "General, he played a pivotal role in helping us take the ship. He already knows about the Goa'uld. We may as well tell him."

Hammond sighed, probably due to the additional paperwork associated with revealing classified information without signing the waivers prior. Like that was the biggest issue right now, besides there being a credible threat towards the whole God damn planet…again.

Hammond briefly wondered when paperwork had become more of a pain in the ass than the security of Earth. With an unseen shake of his head, he agreed.

"Go ahead, Colonel."

Jack flipped the speaker a thumbs up, not caring that it looked utterly idiotic doing so.

"One more thing, Colonel" the box squawked again.

"Yes sir."

"I'll leave it up to your discretion as to whether you want to drop off your new friend. It sounds like he or she knows their stuff, and quite frankly, you could use the help."

Jack glanced over towards Harry, who shrugged.

"I'll extend the invitation, sir. O'Neill out."

"Good luck, Colonel. And godspeed."

Teal'c shut off the communications relay, leaving the cockpit quiet save for the steady hum from the hyperdrive that reverberated through the ship.

"So, Harry." Jack began. The wizard couldn't help but chuckle. The guy was so much like Sirius it was uncanny.

"Before you ask, the answer is yes, I'll do it."

O'Neill simply nodded in gratitude. Clearly, despite the tough act, he seemed genuinely concerned about their odds of pulling this off.

"All right, Colonel. Talk." Of course, he knew about the SGC by now, but not asking would make them suspicious. Honestly, this whole Legilimency business was nothing but trouble if you asked him. How Dumbledore ever kept it a secret for so long was beyond him. Although, simply using the excuse of being the greatest wizard in generations was pretty darn good in itself.

"What do you want to know?" Jack asked somewhat cautiously.

Harry walked over towards his chair but didn't give into the temptation to sit down. His diminutive size already made it difficult for people to take him seriously, no need to amplify that by making himself look smaller.

"The man you spoke to. He's your commanding officer, I gather? What exactly do you do?"

O'Neill casually made his way over to the bound Jaffa and gave him a nudge with his foot, hands buried deeply in his Bush Jacket.

"We fight these guys," he responded matter-of-factly, lightly kicking Maruk.

"Obviously." Harry sensed that the older man was stalling. Why he would do so was beyond him, however. That Hammond guy clearly gave him permission to spill the beans.

The answer to that was actually fairly straightforward. O'Neill didn't like explaining things. And it would take hours to catch Harry up on what they did. Better to leave that to Danny, the Chicago native concluded.

"Well…we do a little bit of this…and a little bit of that. You know. Stuff." With that O'Neill moved away from him and sat down in the co-pilot's seat.

"Rigghhhtt," Harry's response mirrored Jack's own just a few hours ago. With that the Colonel buggered off, leaving him to his own devices. Harry decided to 'talk' to the still unconscious Goa'uld they'd left on the floor. A quick privacy spell ensured that no one would overhear them.

"Ennervate." The foul-mouthed Jaffa sucked in a deep breath. Harry knew the feeling. The counter to the stunner was something similar to receiving a bucket of ice-cold water to the face.

"So, you have some explaining to do. And you can drop the act, the others can't listen in." Harry crouched down, looking into the creature's eyes, which proceeded to glow for a few moments.

"How did you probe my mind, human?" The voice was deep and most definitely not natural. It was a bit unnerving really.

"Sorry mate, but I'll be the one asking the questions here. Now, why do you impersonate one of the Jaffa? Are you a spy for Apophis?"

Maruck glared at the Wizard but said nothing. Harry sighed. "Look, I could have ratted you out to these guys when I noticed who you were, but I didn't."

The Goa'uld snorted. "Do you take me for a fool? The sole reason you have not revealed this is that you do not wish the Tau'ri to know of your most interesting power." The Goa'uld leered at Harry. "You would make an excellent host."

Prisoner or no, this guy needed to be Obliviated, stat! If word got out that humans on Earth could perform magic, the Goa'uld would declare open sesame on anything holding a stick.

He cast the spell inconspicuously. No need to give Jack and Teal'c any reasons to ask what he was doing. From their point of view Harry, was simply staring at the still unconscious Jaffa.

With a shiver, Harry rose again and walked back to the others.

Maruck was once again stunned and would remember nothing of the last few hours. He never liked the memory charm, doubly so due to their utterly incompetent second-year Defense Professor. Harry lifted the privacy charm sighed.

Engaging the Goa'uld in conversation had been a bust, and he didn't trust his Legilemincy skills enough to try poking around when the alien was aware he was doing so.

Harry resigned himself to waiting, with Jack asking the occasional harmless question. Did Harry like baseball, or fishing, to which he almost always replied 'No' to.

Harry explained Quidditch, and despite the truly ridiculous notion of riding on brooms, the pilot in Jack couldn't help but be fascinated as Harry explained the rules. Before either knew it, Teal'c announced that they were dropping out of Hyperspace. All three peeked outside and sighed in relief when the blue marble they called home appeared from the swirl of purple light.

Teal'c engaged the cloak just as the Al'Kesh began its descent through the atmosphere. Jack, with Harry in tow made for the ring room, where they dumped the first pile of tied-up Jaffa on the floor. Teal'c confirmed they were in position above the other half of their team, and the Colonel pressed a series of glyphs on the panel just off the ring platform.

Jack had long ago joked that all of the System Lords must get together to talk about stuff like changing the codes for the rings, because no matter which ship SG-1 had found themselves on, it was always the same. It defied logic that beings so vastly superior to them could be this stupid.

With a whoosh the six prisoners disappeared, replaced by three geared up Tau'ri. Correction. Two Tau'ri and one Tok'ra.

"Hi Jack," the man with the glasses said. "Looks like you had some fun."

O'Neill grunted, already busy dragging another unconscious Jaffa towards the ring transporter. They'd lowered the O2 content of the cargo bay for a few minutes, knocking them out cold. Down on the surface, dozens of MP's were busy readying cells at a nearby facility to house their new Jaffa guests.

Should they make it back, Teal'c was sure to give motivational speeches on how evil and phony the Goa'uld really were.

It was a great ice breaker.

They'd been careful to keep any and all SG personal in the dark, as to not tip off their spy. Just the thought left a sour taste in the Colonel's mouth.

Harry had thus far remained unnoticed, content with letting the muggles catch up. The first to spot him was the older man in a strange cream-colored outfit. It looked roughly sewn together and lacked color. Just tan and beige. An oddly garbed man if you asked him, and that was saying something coming from the wizard. The rest of what he knew to be SG-1 helped haul the other Jaffa from the brig and bridge. With every load of prisoners that left, more equipment was brought back up.

"So, Jacob, what brings you around these parts? Here to check out our sweet new ride?" O'Neill was bragging, and Harry had to suppress an evil grin thinking about how pissed the man would be when he'd ultimately skivvy off with this tub.

"Actually, Selmak here graciously granted me some shore leave. I was visiting Earth."

Jack rocked on the balls of his feet, hands buried in his jacket. "Ahh yes, well sorry to throw a wrench in your plans. If it makes you feel any better, I was supposed to be fishing right now."

Jacob looked over towards a casually observing Harry, not so subtly hinting Jack should cut the crap and make introductions. Luckily, he caught on quickly.

"Carter. Daniel. Jacob. This is Harry." O'Neill gestured to the messy-haired kid. "Harry, this is the rest of SG-1, and Jacob here is…a friend."

The older muggle raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Pleasure to meet you all." Harry hoped he sounded sincere. Honestly, the ZAT was still making the squishy stuff between his ears throb, and even the strongest pain-relieving potion he'd packed was only just taking the edge off.

All three continued to stare holes into him, briefly making him wonder if there was anything on his face.

Sam was the one to voice her concern first.

"Sir, I take it he's coming along?"

O'Neill motioned them to follow him to the bridge, making this a mobile conversation. Teal'c had already departed. The shift back into Hyperspace was becoming more familiar now, and Harry managed to brace himself enough not to take another tumble.

"Yes, Carter. Harry is actually the reason why we managed to kick the Jaffa out. Kid comes with some serious perks." Harry rolled his eyes at the comment. What was he, some kind of Swiss army knife?

"Yes sir." The blonde replied, though her tone told him that she was clearly not convinced.

They entered the spacious bridge, where Jack immediately shotgunned the recliner. With a growl of annoyance and smug look from the Colonel, the teen conjured another, before seating himself.

Transfiguration would have taken less effort, but Harry liked to flex his magical muscle a bit every now and then. Besides, they were in for another lengthy trip. It would tire him and hopefully allow him to get some sleep.

The remainder of their group froze in place at the sight of the furniture piece appearing from thin air.

"How… how did he do that?" Daniel had taken off his glasses, presumably to clean them. Yup, it was going to be a long trip, Harry thought with a sigh.

oOo

"This is incredible! Jack, do you understand what this means?" Honestly, O'Neill heard these exact words out of Daniel AT LEAST once a week, if not more. Actually, Carter said it a lot too, didn't she? The Colonel was lying on the floor, signature ball cap resting low on his head, just trying to pass the time. His sweet chair had vanished in a puff of white smoke a while ago, sending him the polished hard floor with a pained yelp.

Their tagalong wizard had said it was normal for 'conjured' items to vanish after a certain amount of time, but Jack knew better.

They'd been traveling for the better part of a day just to reach the rendezvous point. Harry meanwhile had been answering Dr. Jackson's questions, whilst demonstrating to Carter how magic all but violated most of the laws of physics. Jack swore Carter's hair was beginning to frizz, something which rarely happened, even with the usual stress they suffered with.

Jacob looked over his shoulder yet again, watching in fascination as the silvery Stag 'patronus' pranced around the large bridge deck. Selmak had been oddly quiet in his head ever since encountering the youth. Jacob was a bit more open-minded to the whole thing. After all, less than a year ago the retired General would have laughed if someone had told him Aliens were real.

Now, there was one inside his head.

He could sense the disapproval from his 'roommate' at the choice of words.

But even now, with said alien inside his head, the idea of honest to god Magic was unthinkable. Hell, with all of the extra processing power Selmak gave him it made even less sense. Technically, it shouldn't be possible! Perhaps his companion was in denial, the old general thought with amusement.

A blinking symbol on the HUD announced that they'd be arriving in the Tobin system momentarily.

"Heads up kids, we're nearly there." the Tok'ra interrupted.

A picturesque green garden world blinked into existence, shrouded by a strange fog. Or so they thought. The haze around the planet was actually a very large, very dangerous minefield. The Tobin thought it would protect their planet from attack. Now the planet was a smoking ruin, and the minefield an interesting footnote of a society who took the game minesweeper a few steps too far.

One thing was sure, it made for a good place to meet. Any hostilities near the mines would be suicidal, with both parties swiftly obliterated.

The Tok'ra had a plan to reprogram one of the mines and attack Aphophis's ship. Normally Harry would just sit back and watch, but considering that plan involved flying into said minefield made him a bit more vocal.

"Umm, not to poke holes in this idea of yours, but why don't we just board this Heru'ur's ship and plant some bombs there? He's still convinced that his men have captured Teal'c, right?"

The group looked at the messy haired boy.

"It won't work," Jacob dismissed. "Heru'ur will see who we are the moment communication is established. If we respond with audio-only he will suspect something is wrong.

Concentrating, the kid focused on his working his hocus-pocus. The air around him rippled and Jack recognized the potty-mouthed Jaffa who'd run the show.

"Oh, really?"

The colonel had to hand it to the kid. Watching Jacob's slack-faced expression was exquisite to behold.

oOo

Luckily glamours worked when cast on muggles as well. It was a good thing too, considering he had no idea how to address someone like Heru'ur. Jacob and Daniel sat at the helm, looking nothing like themselves.

Teal'c wore some glamours as well, giving him a roughed-up appearance. Carter and O'Neill played the part of guards, while Harry stood off to the side, maintaining five different illusions simultaneously.

"My Lord, we have captured the Sholva as you commanded." Selmak, Jacob's upstairs tenant, made sure to sound a little gleeful as he addressed the bald angry looking System lord. O'Neill wondered how much of that was faked.

"You are late!" the angry bald man bellowed. So much for getting praise from your boss, eh?

"Forgive me, my Lord. The humans proved to be most difficult to find and subdue. We sustained heavy losses."

Heru'urs eyes flashed with barely suppressed rage and the connection was cut.

"We are instructed to dock in the main hanger bay." Jaffa Jacob replied sourly.

Teal'c graciously donated a hair (from his eyebrow thankfully) and with Harry's premade stash of Polyjuice potion, fed the concoction to a stunned Jaffa they picked up in the motherships hangar bay after they docked.

Said Jaffa then received a shrunken C4 surprise on a timer. Every brick they'd brought along, molded around about a dozen vials of liquid Naquadah swiped from the staff weapons left on board. Needless to say, the bang would be big.

While Daniel and Sam hauled their decoy to the transporter, Jack, Jacob, Teal'c, and Harry made their way to the bridge. 'Teal'c' was traded and Apophis left, happy but otherwise ignorant. The bomb would remain in its shrunken state and only revert back a few seconds before detonation.

Incidentally, this would be shortly after the polyjuice wore off. Apophis would be pissed. It was a tricky bit of magic making the timing work, but Harry pulled it off. SG-1 then regrouped just outside the mothership's Pel'tak.

Heru'ur was not expecting company it seemed. The two Jaffa manning the Ha'taks controls fell quickly, but the damn bastard got his shield up just in time. Harry, having never encountered Goa'uld defensive tech, fired Bludgeoners and Reductos, which splashed harmlessly over the golden shield of the Kara kesh.

The Goa'uld responded with a strange version of a banisher, though Harry's shield charm took the brunt of the force, only pushing him back a few feet.

"How the hell do we take him out?" the teen hollered, trying a fire whip next. Banging on the sealed doors announced that the nearby Jaffa were aware of the hijacking attempt.

"Energy attacks won't work." Samantha hollered from behind a column, clutching her gun.

"That doesn't answer my question!" Harry snapped back before quickly ducking to avoid another not quite Banisher.

"I threw a knife at him once." O'Neill piped in. Now that actually was useful information! Harry banished one of the fallen Jaffa towards his opponent, who seemed to be attempting to control the ship and defend his well-dressed arse at the same time. Bad idea.

The unconscious Jaffa knocked Heru'ur off-balance, but the shield remained. With a growl of frustration, the Wizard then conjured a spear and hurled it with a flick of the wrist.

Heru'urs eyes widened as the ornate bladed weapon raced towards him. The spear impaled his shoulder and spun the Goa'uld to the ground. Potter followed up with a custom spell chain he'd favored during Auror training. A leg locking jinx, followed by a full-body bind in Spanish whose last syllable bled into the Incarcerous. Impaled, immobilized, and tied up, the Goa'uld was quite harmless.

For good measure, Harry stunned him/it?

Jacob quickly went to work overriding the life support systems. Alarms blared for a moment before the Tok'ra muted them. The banging outside intensified as the ship's guards figured out what was happening before slowing, then stopping altogether. They waited another minute or so before repressurizing the hallways. The ship was theirs.

oOo

"And this is the infirmary," Daniel concluded. Somehow, instinctively, Harry knew he'd walked into a trap upon hearing those words. A short but slender woman in her thirties came out of nowhere and immediately bombarded him with questions before pulling him into an examination room. Next thing he knew there was a tube tied around his bicep and a needle in his arm.

Lovely.

Janet could sense his displeasure at the procedure. The rest of SG-1 was going through the same routine tests as well but grinned at his discomfort.

"Sorry bout that, sweetie. Does blood make you queasy?"

Harry blinked, not expecting to be called something like that. How old did she think he was?

"Not at all Madame, it's just that the last time someone took my blood it was with a dagger while I was tied to a grave marker in the middle of the night," Harry said cheerfully as if recalling a fond memory.

Dr. Frasier's mouth hung open, not sure how to respond to that. "Err, right." she proceeded to poke and prod hi, all in the name of something called a physical. Harry agreed that it had been that, but not in a good way.

"Well, you're all done," she concluded. "The ZAT effects have dissipated and you're good to go."

Harry smiled brightly at her reaction and hopped off the Hospital bed. Teal'c acted as his escort while the rest of the team was subjected to the same ministrations as he had by the evil muggle healer.

"Where do you wish to go, Harry Potter?" the no-nonsense man asked. Harry felt like a midget next to this guy, not even reaching to his shoulders.

"Cafeteria?" the Wizard asked with a shrug. He hadn't eaten since the diner and his stomach was making its presence known.

His guide agreed with a subtle bowing of the head.

Thankfully the cafeteria was empty when they entered. It seemed his Wizarding garb attracted a lot of stares since he'd changed back on the Ha'tak. Muggle clothes were all well and good, but the Dragonhide armor on his former Auror robes would take hit far better than a few layers of wool and polyester.

"So Teal'c, are you planning on visiting the Jaffa we captured?"

The stoic former first prime nodded. "I intended to see them within the hour."

Harry dug into the rather plain but filling supper the cooks had microwaved for him. It was shortly before midnight, and Harry's internal clock was telling him to go find a damn bed, something he fully intended on doing.

But first, there was the slight issue of telling him about Maruck. If they questioned him, the memory loss might become apparent. It was one of the few things neither Voldemort nor Harry was ever really good at, it seemed.

The prisoners were isolated on level seventeen, in cells that required more than one person to open. That way no singular spy could liberate them. Harry planned on casting a few wards himself, just simple ones like threshold and proximity. If someone went in or out of the cell complex, he'd know about it.

O'Neill would be busy with the Texan, while Sam and Daniel were eager to get back up to the Ha'tak. Jacob left to brief his Tok'ra friends.

"Mind if I tag along?" Again, the Jaffa nodded.

The first encounter was positively chilly. None of the captured Jaffa wanted to talk, and considering how great a conversationalist Teal'c was, it really was no surprise. With the wards up around the cells, Harry retired to his temporary quarters.

There, instead of simple detection wards, he threw up something a bit nastier. Not lethal, but whoever decided to get within three feet of his current resting place would wish they'd just stayed on the other side of the door.

oOo

An ear-splitting wail woke him instead of the much more pleasant radio alarm he'd come to enjoy since leaving Hogwarts. Sparks and flashes of light from the attacking wards were the only sources of illumination in the pitch-black room. Harry scrambled out of bed, wand already in his grasp, and dissipated the protective barriers that had no doubt saved his life.

The smoking body on the floor twitched and moaned as Harry stepped around and flicked the lights on. It was no one he recognized, though the patch on their arm identified them as an SG team member. Seven from the looks of it.

"Tough luck buddy, seven usually works in one's favor." Harry bound the man in ropes and informed the airman on guard duty that he'd need room service to swing by and pick up the trash. Of course, he had to wake the chap first, seeing how he was laid out across the floor.

Fifteen minutes later he and SG-1 were cramped in the infirmary, along with the good General.

Again.

"Well, it seems as though Lieutenant Wright was hit with some sort of electrical discharge weak enough to stimulate the nerve endings but not powerful enough to seriously injure." Frasier shot Harry a dirty look, to which the teen responded by innocently whistling while looking at the finely constructed ceiling of the infirmary.

"Bug Zapper?" O'Neill asked, with a hint of excitement. No one wanted to say yes; because there was a high chance the term would find its way into his crudely written reports and eventually the SGC lexicon of unofficial words.

"Actually, it was a debilitating ward set that saps the strength of the victim until sufficiently weakened as to not pose a threat." Harry clarified.

"Ward set?" Carter repeated in frustration. Magic it seemed wasn't sitting with her to well. Hardly surprising when it simply tells physics to grab its ankles and bite the pillow on a whim.

Harry nodded.

Hammond was used to the craziness of his own men and women, but Harry seemed to push the envelope simply by cohabitating the same general area.

"What was the Lieutenant doing in Mr. Potters' quarters?" General Hammond asked no one in particular.

"No one knows. He had no reason to be there. And Harry hadn't ever had contact with the man." The Wizard shook his head in confirmation.

Speaking of the Lieutenant, the man was beginning to wake. And he wasn't restrained, as he technically hadn't done anything but enter Harry's room.

Harry pulled his wand and pointed it at the prone form of Robert Wright.

"Legilimens."

It only took Harry a few seconds to conclude that there was a Symbiote within the man's body. Several ropes shot out from under the hospital bed and bound the still dazed Goa'uld before it could make a move.

The others didn't take too kindly at him tying up one of their own.

Harry swore. How the hell would he explain this to them without coming across as the bad guy? After a few moments he came up blank.

"He's got a Goa'uld in his head." The wand waiving teen said somberly.

Dr. Frasier, who was about to rip into Harry for attacking her patient once again in a way she couldn't begin to understand, sputtered.

"Impossible. All SG teams undergo a mandatory MRI as soon as they get back!"

Wright, at this point, had clued into the situation and was struggling against the bonds. "Unhand me! You're all going to die!" The voice was unmistakable. Jack cursed.

oOo

"How'd you know he was a Goa'uld anyway?" Jack was once again hounding the messy-haired teen as everyone filed into the briefing room. The rest of the group seemed to be just as curious about that as well.

Harry, who'd up until that morning tried to hide behind numerous lies, Obliviations, and not so carefully woven plots, decided it would be easier just to fess up at this point. After all, he wouldn't be here much longer anyway. They were already cautious around him, so why not kick that up a notch to paranoia.

"I read his thoughts. The dominant mind's that is." Harry said with a sigh.

Eyebrows shot up all around. "You can read minds?"

He blinked.

"Am I talking in another language? Why do people always ask me questions I clearly just answered?"

"Tone down the sass, kid." Jack was painfully reminded of Charlie when talking to Harry, despite the obvious fact that he was an adult.

Said adult chose to throw up his arms in protest before lightly banging his head into the table.

"Fine! Yes, I can read minds. And while we're at it, Maruck was actually a spy for Apophis. And yes, before you ask, he's also a Goa'uld."

If someone had told Jack a week ago that they'd have not one, not two, but three Goa'ulds, including a Bonafide System Lord held prisoner, he'd have laughed in their face. The room was quiet, save for the airman typing up the conversation in the corner on a rather loud keyboard.

"Is there anything else you think we should know about?" was the less than pleased next question, this time from the good General himself.

"No, that's it. I think." Harry's muffled voice came from his face, still resting on the table. It made it harder to tell he was lying. Harry was bad at lying.

Harry shook his head.

Hammond sighed. "All right, Jacob will be back within the day. Hopefully, they can remove the Goa'uld from Wright and we can put all of this behind us."

"Sir, knowing the Tok'ra they'll want a piece of the prize if they help us. And we all know what that prize is." O'Neill was being surprisingly mature at the moment.

"I've already talked to the President about their intentions. We won't give up the mothership, but he's ceded the Al'Kesh you and Teal'c have captured.

Harry's head popped back up, forehead a bit red. "About that. Considering that I did most of the heavy lifting, it would only be fair that you give the thing to me."

The General chuckled, though there was no humor to be found.

"You're in no position to make such demands."

Harry grinned maliciously. "Au contraire, my General," he said in butchered French. "In fact, I've already taken steps to hide the ship from your methods of detection." Which was very true. Just this morning Harry activated a portkey specifically linked to the bomber and slapped muggle repelling charms all over the hull. It felt a little wrong to use magic to bully the muggles, but with what was at stake he could hardly look the other way. Earth just didn't cut it anymore, he concluded.

That ship was his ticket off this rock, and he was eager to get underway.

Hammond meanwhile was turning a lovely shade of purple, not quite Vernon levels but close. He continued before the yelling started.

"I don't have any interest in the big one, so do with it what you want." Harry looked at the angry faces around the room.

"What, did you really think I would sit around and get poked at by your government? Do not mistake my apparent age for ignorance. Your superiors are practically salivating at the idea of finding out what I can do. Too bad it won't work. Heck, chances are the American ministry of Magic is already onto you, top-secret mountain lair or not."

Harry shrugged while brainstorming what would probably happen in the coming days. This had ballooned well outside of his ability to keep contained, and Harry knew it. It was yet another reason he wanted the ship.

The American Ministry would want his arse on a platter for so blatantly revealing their secret, and he had no intention of sitting in another courtroom trying to explain his actions. Heck, they'd call him a nutter if he said it was because of the aliens.

"They'll most likely obliviate you and anyone shy of your President, then destroy any reports you've written."

He sighed, wondering why he was even explaining this.

"Obliviation is a memory charm by the way", he added, after seeing the hint of confusion mixed with the unhealthy amount of anger.

"You won't get away with this." Sam practically spat the words at him. He once again got the feeling she didn't like him.

Odd, really. He fancied himself as a bit of a ladies' man.

Harry shook his head in disbelief.

"Luv, you've hardly left me with another choice. My own kind will seek to imprison me for violating the secrecy laws set forth by the International confederation of wizards. Granted, it was necessary at the time, but they don't care. When I was fifteen, they put me on trial for defending myself from two soul sucking creatures. Almost had my wand snapped too."

Harry laughed. "So pardon me if I don't put much faith in the current administration, both here and back in Britain."

"We can protect you!" this was from Daniel, ever the diplomat. Potter shook his head.

"Dr. Jackson, you just don't get it. The wizards will come here and wipe any trace of my existence from your heads. And you won't even know it. Doubly so when they find out that there are aliens interested in what we are. None of you can ever know. I'm practically wasting my time explaining all this to you."

Harry revised his previous summary. This had department of mysteries written all over it. He wouldn't get a trial. They'd just plain make him disappear.

Daniel was at a loss for words, while O'Neill and Carter glared at him. Teal'c…well Harry wasn't sure. The guy had one crazy poker face.

"And on that note, I'm leaving. For now." He shrugged. "Who knows, maybe there are some other magical communities out there I can visit. After all, the entirety of the galaxy originally hailed from Earth, right?"

Harry rose to leave but was stopped by two guards sporting MP-5's.

"Mates, are you really threatening me with rubber chickens?" The Airmen looked down and indeed saw they were now clutching a pair of the popular dog toys. With a pop, Harry apparated to the Al'Kesh, a little miffed that they'd parted ways on such a poor note, but not about to shed tears over it either.

Besides, by next week they'd be blissfully unaware he'd ever existed. The ship hummed to life and quickly departed from its secure hangar within Area 51. He'd have to make a few stops and load up on provisions but in a few short hours, Harry would be well on his way to finding a most excellent adventure.

And quite frankly, he couldn't be happier.

oOo

It had taken hours and left him near the brink of magical exhaustion, but it was done. With a long, tired sigh, the young Wizard plopped down onto one of the couches of what could be called the common room. The modifications to the Al'Kesh were functionally complete with the exception of the strengthening runes on the hull, but he'd rather not do that while in outer space.

Something told him the bubblehead charm wouldn't work so well out there.

Nonetheless, his new home away from home was finished! Upon taking the ship he'd visited a number of establishments both magical and mundane in nature. To a keen observer, it looked as though Potter heir was purchasing supplies of an expedition.

Crates of potions, creams and ointments, muggle bandages, preserved foods, and a heap of other items were purchased in bulk.

Places like Ikea provided both furniture and a kitchen in the recently converted space. Hardware stores the fixtures. Magic tied everything together. No pipes or holding tanks, water pumps, or valves. Runes conjured water and vanished the waste product at the drain.

Some heavy-duty rune sinks supplied the magical reserves. Those had cost him a pretty penny but they were wholly necessary, as magic didn't recharge nearly as fast in the vastness that was outer space.

Some subtle expansion charms made the Al' kesh much more creature comfort friendly. Harry specifically limited those charms to something reasonable. After all, who wanted to walk a half-mile to get from the bedroom to the loo?

The cargo hold was another story. The thing practically resembled an aeroplane hanger. A few boxes of supplies he hadn't sorted yet lay strewn about and not much else.

The ship, christened the Bebop even had its own Gate room, though no Stargate as of yet.

The work had taken him the better part of a week. Hardly the expedient departure from Earth he'd hoped for, but the results spoke for themselves. This wasn't a military vessel anymore. It still functioned like one but was more of a heavily armed yacht.

That was good because despite all of the modifications it was still painfully slow. Sixty parsecs an hour at full power to be exact, though only fools ran a Goa'uld hyperdrive at that rating.

That meant this tub could traverse the Milkyway in a little under six and a half days. At a more conservative speed, that number jumped to nine. Hardly the fastest ship in existence then, but that's why it resembled a well-equipped dwelling on the inside.

Now, three days into a five day trip, Harry was beginning to finally feel boredom. He'd unpacked, decorated, and made the place look reasonably good.

Now sitting idle, he decided to begin a project of sorts. Recreating his every own Room of Requirement, which was by far the most complex piece of magic he'd ever attempted. Even with Voldemort's knowledge rattling around up there, his understanding of how the room was created didn't amount to much.

Yeah, that had happened when the scaly bastard had AK'd the Horcrux in his head. Not a bad deal if you asked him. Old Tom knew more than Harry would ever have learned on his own, even with Hermione as his study partner.

But back to the room! He'd started with a blank slate. No expansion charms or any other magic to speak of. Over the course of two days and ten thermoses of coffee, it had yielded little in progress. So far all the room could do was clean up after itself. Harry might consider applying this to the whole of the ship…just as soon as he figured out what exactly happened to the objects inside. Magical trackers revealed nothing. Because the feedback loop was still intact he knew the item still existed…somewhere.

He tossed in another one of his well-loved socks and slammed the door shut. After a few seconds of pointless staring, he opened it again.

"Damn…" he muttered, looking at the blank section of floor.

Meanwhile, in upstate New York, within a castle-Esque estate containing a certain school for gifted youngsters, a still wet sock onahole landed with a dull splat on the staff table, and on a plate specifically. A redhead seated closest to the offensive garment looked down at her ruined dinner and sucked in a sharp breath.

They'd already gotten a DNA sample from previous 'deposits', and although it came back negative for one Wade Wilson, she still felt like delimbing the masked pervert on principle.

"Motherf**ker!" she swore, and the plate was launched across the table, straight into Wolverine's face.

"I'm going to find whoever is doing this and they're going TO PAY!"


A/N; nothing against the x-men specifically, just picked the first multiverse that sprang to mind for that last bit.