Just adding a little vampire lore to the Twilight archive. Crack.

I was lying in my favorite place—in my lover's arms. Edward was breathing into my hair, and I into his chest. We weren't saying anything, content to simply enjoy each other's touch.

Until I heard him muttering under his breath. I pulled back a little to listen to what he was saying.

"No, don't move, Bella!" He sounded almost panicked.

I froze. Why was he afraid? Should I be? Almost certainly, if my personal stone statue was. But what could there be to be afraid of in my room? Monsters under the bed? I snorted. There was already one on top of the bed, and I had no problem with him.

But he went on muttering under his breath, and I caught a few words.

"…Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-one, sixty-two…"

Numbers? I must be mishearing.

"…Sixty-five, sixty-six, sixty-seven…"

Apparently not. "Edward, what—"

"Shh!" His body was stiff and unmoving, and his words were quick. "Please don't interrupt me. And don't move—I don't want to lose my place."

"What are you doing?"

"Counting your hairs. Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three…"

Counting my hairs? "Why on earth do you want to count my hairs?"

He sounded very uncomfortable. "They were right there. And I'm a vampire. It's what we do. A compulsion, you might say. Seventy-seven, seventy-eight—"

Vampires count things? "Like the Count on Sesame Street? 'Vincent Twice, Vincent Twice'?"

He was almost panting with discomfort now. "Not just counting—picking up grain, scribbling with charcoal until it's all gone—you've never met anyone as OCD as a vampire."

I laughed incredulously. It was so ridiculous. "How do you get anything done?"

"Please, don't move! You're messing up my count!" His arms tightened around me. "Eighty-two, eighty-three…"

It looked like I was stuck where I was until Edward had finished counting my hairs. No matter—there were worse places to be. Who cared about school anyway?

I stuck my nose back into his chest and breathed deeply of his scent, feeling his fingers comb through my hair and hearing his beloved voice counting frantically as I drifted back to sleep.