1(Edited)
a few small changes and a bit of correcting here and there.
I'm at the moment working to fix past mistakes and read everything over one more time and see if I missed something. most likely these changes will be added when I add new chapters.
Hereby ladies and gentlemen I Present to you my first work ever made, welcome, to 'Deaths lord commander', a story starring me as lord commander of death. I am open to critics, and would like to know what you think of it, if you see something, please say it, it can only help, thank you in advance.
Chapter 1
Prologue
I am…. Well… was… your usual("you sure usual is the right word for it Nathan?" "Susan, don't even start, I know it is not very normal to have 1. A visual representation of death in your head, 2. Be not afraid of death, and 3. Die and be born again somewhere else!") 19 year old guy, I loved playing games on the pc, and if I was not gaming, I found myself reading or watching movies(usually harry potter and lord of the rings(also read (crossover) fanfics*pulls a hand through his hair*)). Never could find the willpower to really be productive at school, but still was able to get through my schooling without much of a hassle("Every time your teachers told you you could do better, and what did you do, concentrate more on english reading and watching more movies…" "sigh… It worked… I am the best in english thanks to those 2 things…"), and never ended a year with failed marks, I didn't see myself as particularly bright, but I knew I had a pretty… unusual mind, I think in pictures, and have a pretty… active imagination("don't forget aggressive…" "it is not that bad susan…"),I also had the tendency to remember non important stuff faster then important stuff, and forget a lot of small things… Enough had happened in my live, that wasn't the most useful for me growing up.
Some things that happened during my live made me how I was, the loner who was constantly in his own world when not in in the near vicinity of other people("you should not interrupt me if I am watching tv, am gaming or reading… hehehe…"). Until I started high school at 17 I hadn't really had close friends(Dutch schooling systems work a bit different from others, I'm not sure what other country's would call it), or a girlfriend for that matter. ("Lyer, you had a girlfriend for a year when you were 10" "Susan, 10 is not really a dating age now is it? That is a period of your live where everyone around you starts having 'crushes'… and really, you have no idea what love is at that age… I still believe I have skipped puberty because… haven't really had interest in someone since…")But all of this became history on the 13th of November 2015("You lucky bastard, you died on Friday the 13th!" "Susan, can you let me tell my story now or what?" "oh, yeah… sorry, go on then.").
I was cycling to school at 08.00 AM when a car hit me from behind, I can still remember till this very day the pain I was in at that moment, the last thing I remember was lying in the hospital or was it still the ambulance? people yelling to each other all around me. Even when I couldn't understand what they were saying I did notice myself slipping from this plain of existence and into the great beyond, also known as blackness.
I woke up to a male voice calling me to open my eyes.
"Come on sleepy head, Suzan wants to talk with you." the male voice told me.
"huh…. Whut?" was my very bright response.
A young sounding female voice suddenly spoke up: "Frank, wake up kid, I want to talk with you about your chances and dreams, my dad is here with me for this."
"Oke… for one, were am I? two, who are you two? three, chances and dreams, what do you mean?"
By now I had opened my eyes and a familiar face was looking down at me, someone I had made up at a to early age, or at least I thought I had made her up. If I had the wrong thought process an image of this very girl was put in front of my eyes, and by that the wrong thoughts would slowly drop down, and more positive thoughts would service to replace them, that is the theory at least.
The girl started talking again, "You know who I am Frank, or at least, you were the one who created this image, and planted the name with me." She said with a gentle smile.
"So, you are what I visualized as my death? And so in extend you are suzan death?" that is when I saw the big man standing behind her in his black cloak hood down to show a pretty handsome face, even if I said so myself. "so and you are death then, sorry about never naming, or even thinking about death as male..."
"Don't worry about it kid, that's why I put suzan to you anyway, she has a bit more power then me, and can take a bit more friendly forms." The man, death said.
That is when Susan spoke up again."So, by now you probably have realized that the accident was fatal to you huh, so, to put it bluntly, you are dead, but now to the point, I know about your fantasies being involved in 2 book series, but never having thought it through completely, so, my dad and me have talked and thought together for a while. Both book series that you think about are in parallel universes to this one, and we want to give you the chance to start anew. We want to send you over to one of the two worlds, at the point you have fulfilled your duty in that world we will transport you to the next one. In that world you will be able to make a very important choice, but there was something else we wanted… this is a bit more difficult to tell really…"
Here death took over from his daughter. "as I can not send you to a parallel universe without reason, and your body is destroyed, in this world, I will have a few small problems, but… when I grant you a bit of power, I will be able to do this, but I want to warn you, from the day you use this power darkness will have a small part of you in his control, and that part won't give in easily. All of the trials you will go through in the future, if you choose to accept our offer you will carry the burden of this darkness with you, it won't harm you or your surroundings as long as you have this part under control, naturally, I do want you to remember, in emergencies, you can use this darkness to your advantage. So, what do you say young one?"
"wow ehm… this is a lot to take in… as I think I know of which ones you're talking about, I do accept your offer, and I will do all I can and do what is best. But I have one question, why?"
"That is a good question… Why did we decide to grand you this… wish? You have been fighting, and even after only 2 weeks after your mother left you to our world, you already started going back to school, and what do you get for it? A stab in the back, or rather a car in the back. Fate is cruel like that sometimes." Suzan answered with a sad smile on her face.
"Thank you, both of you." I said looking between the two.
"Well then young one, good luck lord commander of death." Death said.
"Frank, you will be born in a few, you will gain conscience after you are cleaned up, a small present from the two of us, as you say in the netherlands, succes Lord commander"
Before I was able to say anything or question the new title, everything went black again.