'I hate flying! I really do. If people were meant to fly we'd all have evolved wings or jetpacks, or parachutes. Anything that could lower falling damage. Instead we have legs. Strong, meaty, muscular, hairy legs. Made for walking, kicking, shaving and ogling. Not gliding, not flying and definitely not made for withstanding falls from grate distances. Humans and faunus were not, most of them at least, made for aerial transportation. I mean who thought it was a great idea to place ourselves in metal cages and strap those cages to massive tanks of hot, and probably highly flammable, gas? A mad man that's who! '

Those were the internal ramblings of one Jaune Arc.

A man who hated flying so much that the mere though of it made him sick.

'Hey dad can we book a private airship so that no one else can hear me discharge my stomach through my mouth? Well sorry son, but apparently the Shnee's booked all of the available ones. Fuck the Shnees! Seriously, who needs three airships to transport one member of the family? A mad man that's who! If I ever get the chance to play the dissing game with the current head the first thing I'm saying is "Your child is so fat it took three airships to bring him or her to Vale!"

As he continued to unload most of last week's food into a trash bin, Jaune was happy to see the island approaching. Then the sight made him sick and liquefied his happiness, which flowed into the bin.

About an hour later and one post landing bathroom brake.

'Oh sweet glorious land, how I've missed thè. Let us never be apart again. '


A thunderous explosion rocked the ground.

"I take that back, don't eat me! Wait a minute. "

Several feet away he saw a crater with two girls in it. One dressed in white with plenty frills and the other in a red and black gothic lolita outfit. For some reason the white one was trash talking the black one about incompetence or something, then came a cat faunus girl who apparently bitch slapped snowflake with some snarky one liner and left. No wait, he was mistaken, that's a bow on her head not cat ears.

And now the loli is sad and alone. Well not on Jaune's watch. Growing up with seven sisters and with three more being born just three months ago, he had developed a parental instinct. With a sense of confidence of any grown man confronting a small, lost and scared child, he stepped up to her extended his hand and spoke.

"Hey little girl, do you want some candy?"

"Dad… I mean. Oh boy do I! Wait aren't you the guy who threw up on the ship?"

"Aren't you the girl who blew a hole in the ground? "


Everything was going great for Jaune ever since he landed. He'd made a friend, bought her candy and was now searching for her parents.

' Who would leave their child on an island full of grim unsupervised? A mad man that's who! '

Maternal instincts working at full capacity he could barely hear what the little child was saying. Most of the time he just replied with 'uh huh', 'really ' and the occasional 'that's adorable' .

"Mister Adorable? "

"I beg your pardon? "

"Are you a hunter? "

"Why yes I am, well not yet technically. I'll be a first year at Beacon starting next week. "

"Me too. So what are you packing? "

She is a first year? Had Jaune made a mistake somewhere and applied for the kid experience? Or was she simply older than she looked? That would explain the last sentence.

"I think I need some context. "

"You don't need concent for me. "

"I'm pretty sure I do."

"Look! "

The loli pulled out a small crystal tipped rod from inside her skirt. Where she kept it Jaune didn't want to know. With a stroke it grew to a length of two meters. A long red blade extended just below the tip.

"This is Crescent Rose. My baby and lifelong partner. "

Oh she ment a weapon. Lifelong partner? This poor girl needed friends. And what man let's a little girl walk around with a scythe? A mad man that's who! Those things were a bad omen. Did she built that herself?

"That's pretty cool, and eery. I don't think I can match it. All I have is this old sword."

The blonde boy reached to handle on his waist. From it he pulled out a long silvery, semi transparent blade.

"That... that's- "

"Pretty vanilla I know. But it's a family tradition to carry it into ba…"

"Crocea Mors! The emperor's fang! This was in my top ten 'legendary weapons I would like to wield ' , right after Durandal, but just before Ascalon! How did you get it? Are you an Arc? Can I touch it? Please, just the tip, just a touch. "

Ok this girl was clearly a little crazy. Probably runs in the family. Oh but she was so adorable. Like the two younger sisters he had. Exept she was drooling a little more than the recently born triplets.

"Ok, but be careful. It's very sharp and heavy. And yes I am an Arc. Didn't I say that already? "

"Less talking, more touching!"

Jaune carefully gave the girl the handle of the blade

and left the tip touch the ground.

"Oh wow, your sword is so heavy and the blade so thick. It's too wide, my hands barely fit around it. The thought of thrusting it in is soo compelling..."

"Uuh... Yea. It's getting pretty late. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Oh no! I completely forgot to make sleeping arrangements. What am I going to do!"

"Calm down, I'll help you. Look there's a tavern over there. Let's get something to eat. My treat. "

"Really mister Adorable? But why are you being so nice to me?"

"Hey, don't worry, we're friends right. Also I'd feel worried about leaving you all alone. "

"I've heard of the Arcs being generous, I never thought I'd see it for myself. "

The duo entered the tavern and Jaune quickly made arrangements for two rooms. Apparently he paid enough money to buy out the place so he and loli could keep eating as much as they wanted.

"I'll have roasted beef and red wine. What will you have miss."

"Um, chicken breast and some strawberry juice. "

"Bring a large salad too while you're at it."

"Right away sir Arc."

When the waiter left, the two continued to converse.

"Do you drink Mister Adorable? "

"It be wierd if I didn't. Wouldn't it? Vacuo's bourbon is my favourite. Do you drink? "

He hoped not. The minimum drinking age was sixteen and she definitely wasn't that old.

"No way! That stuff is disgusting. My uncle once left a bottle of 'Mistral gold' on the table. When I tried that rotten egg smelling saltwater sewage I nearly threw up. That's the first time I swore. Why are you laughing? "

"…kha, oh nothing, nothing, phhhahaha..."

'Mistral gold she said, only those weirdos could call that piss a drink. Either her uncle was a very clever man, or he had a terrible taste in alcohol. '

"Your uncle sounds like a very smart man. "

"He is. Uncle Qrow was the one who taught me how to fight. I never would have been accepted into beacon if It weren't for him. Even if he was mostly drunk most of the time. "

The more the girl, Ruby as he understood what her name was after a few minutes, talked about her family, the more Jaune though it wasn't very stable.

Her uncle was a intelligent drunk with a knack for starting fights, her father was flirtatious deviant, who's first wife divorced him, he then remarried and his second wife passed away, he also had a knack for starting fights. And her sister was a flirty blonde bitch, with a drinking problem and a knack for starting fights.

This poor innocent girl who grew up in that family and somehow the only bad habit she picked up was using too many innuendos and taking candy from strangers. She needed someone nicer, someone more responsible. Maybe he could adopt her into his family of parents that looked like his siblings and had eleven children, and a grandfather that looked like he could pass for his older brother.

"Speaking of my sister, there she is. Hey Yang! Over here. "

'Ah perfect let's get a good look at the one responsible for my future daughter's vocabulary.'

"Oh Ruby you're here. And I see you made a friend, he better be paying for the meal."

"And my room too. "

"Oh Ho, eager aren't we mister…"

"Adorable. " Ruby said.

"He is i'll give him that."

Now Jaune would have spoken, but he was busy ogling.

'What the hell! What is she wearing? That outfit barely covers anything! And aren't they supposed to be sisters? I look more related to her than Ruby does. Hm… so that's why dad married mom. Wait what are they talking about?'

"Hey Arc Adorable, eyes up here. Stop staring at my legs."

"Oh. I apologise. It's not often I get to see someone like you. And someone like you wearing so little. Please sit down and order a drink I've paid for everything for the night. "

"Keep up the compliments. You might just get something in return. "

"I ugh..."

"Ruby was just telling me about your sword. How thick and long it is. If I didn't know her better you'd be eating through a straw right now. "

"Yang! Don't beat up my friends! "

"So tell me more about the first time you used it."

The waiter had brought Yang a glass of whisky along with the bottle and a spare glass.

'I'm completely lost right now. Better just go with the flow and bring up adoption later. '

"Well I first started playing with it when I was four..."

"An early starter I see."

"Quite early. When dad first saw me wield it he was really proud of me. "

"I'll bet he was. First time our dad saw me with a sword in hand he was very pissed. If I was a boy he'd be less angry seeing me 'spar ' with others. "

"Well yea see what you mean."

"So when was the first time you had sex?"

'Wait what? '

"Not in front of Ruby!"

"I should hope so. My darling sister would be soul broken if she saw you having sex with someone. "

"You know damn well what I mean. "

"Yang what's sex?"

"Don't listen to her Ruby! She's a bad influence. "

"Calm your tits vomit boy. Ruby knows damn well where babies come from. We're just jerking your chain. "

"Yang Xiao Long, you will cease this conversation immediately! "

"Yes daddy! "

Even though the tavern was bustling with sound, the trio's table fell into a deadly silence.

"I beg your pardon? "

"You heard nothing! "

"Why did you call me..."

"I didn't! You miss herd me, no, you imagined it. The liquor had poison in it and caused you to become delirious! "

"Sis, you're scaring me."

"Let's all just forget everything happened. Ok? Ok!"

The awkwardness continued for another hour or so, but once the blondes became sufficiently drunk everyone became cheery again.

"You know Jaune I was wrong about you."

"Yea, I was wrong about you as well. "

"You two seem to be getting along. *YAWN* It's getting late however and I think I should get to bed."

It was past Ruby's bed time and it showed.

"Aw come on Ruby. You're a high schooler now. You need to get used to things like this. Plus, if I can get Arc-dorable over here drunk enough he's going to play 'drunken pirate' on the piano. "

"Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Jaune. "

"No it isn't. It's either vomit boy or Arc-dorable. "

"I mess up two things and get stuck with the dumbest names ever. "

"That's about the way it goes. But you're a fun guy. I can totally leave Ruby in your hands. "

"Eh, you really mean that. "

"Sure I do. Would you like that Ruby?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Great! I'll have the adoption papers ready by tomorrow.

"Wait, what's this about adoption now?"