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What's happening?

Why is everything so green?

I can't see anything, so how can it be green?

How can it be so incredibly green?

The thoughts flow trough my mind, not the words, but the confusion attached to them. Confusion that dubbled as a cold feeling spreads trough my body, starting from my eyes and bleeding into my skull and down my spine. Cold. Cold. So unbelievably, unnaturally cold. I try to scream, but nothing happens, just more confusion and cold and bright green darkness.

It needs to stop. I want it to stop.

I hear an awfully loud sound that makes my ears sting. The scream! The scream I was trying to produce finally makes his way out of my throat, while my mind has already forgotten about it. As if there's somehow a disturbed connection between my mind and my body. The aweful stinging cold keeps eating away at me, until it has taken my entire body. With it coming this feeling. Feelingss. Feeling. Rage. Sadness. Agression? Lonelyness. No, it's rage. Nonononono! Definitely sadness.

What's happening?

Suddenly I don't feel as confused anymore… definitely still confused, but another kind of confused. It's like all the haze has been cleared from my mind. I think in sentences, in words. When was the last time I tought a solid sentence? I don't have a sense of time. Not at all. Who am I? Is this what a newborn child feels like? No, no it's not. Baby's don't think in words, they think in images. I know to much to be an infant. Childbirth is valuable and innocent and good. This is wrong. I can feel it. In my body and in my soul. Life isn't supposed to feel like this.

I was to caught up in my mind to move the entire time. Or was I moving all along? I'm not moving now. Think logically. Think past the rage and sadness and the incredible coldness.

My eyes are closed.

I open them.

I still can't see…

Not really?

Am i blind?

I'm seeing to much to be blind.

Something's covering my eyes.

I actually smile at the conclusion. I think? I smile on the inside. I managed to beat the confusion and feelings and figured that out all by myself.

I reach up to grab the object blocking my eyes. Halfway through my arm falls back down with a "SPLASH". Splash? I'm in the water? I'm sitting. I can feel it now. I finaly feel something other than the tingling painful cold. I hear something to. Voices. Voices! "Get him out of the pit you morons!" …. Voices. There are people here. Humans with a consciousness and a soul. Suddenly it all turns back. The feelingss of sadness and anger and agression and confusion, and the haze. The haze comes back and swallows my awareness whole. I move.

I move.

I feel.

I see.

I hear.

Yet I don't think.

Suddenly i'm outside. The hase is gone and the coldness has toned down. Though it is still there. I can feel it shifting and tingling under my skin.

I look around. I can see and my thoughts accompany my sight. I'm in a giant forest. My body is coverd in bandages. Am I hurt? Am I a mummy? I see and think and…



! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I hyperventilate.

My name is Jason todd.

I'm a disgrace to the name robin.

I died.

I actually, really died.

Not sadness or anger this time.


Fear and panic and somehow a deep feeling of disgust for myself.

I'm not supposed to be here. I don't belong with the living. That's what the feeling is. The feeling of wrong wrongness wrapped around rage and sadness and the painfull cold of death.


My face hurts. I open my eyes. Apparently I had shut them tight for a while there.

I hadn't paid attention to my body for the last few minutes.

I'm facedown on the floor.

A branch cut my cheek. I barely feel it. After all, i've had so so so much worse.



Blood flows down my face and on the floor. It's not funny! It's red and sticky just like that night.

Breath breath breath.

Not so fast!

Calm down.

Where do i go from here?




I walk. I plan. I live.