"Well, this is fun."
"It's the last chapter."
"What are you on about?" Astrid puzzled. Hiccup smiled at her, chuckling to himself when she shook her head, casting her eyes to the ceiling. "If you're going to be exceptionally weird today, go and plague Snotlout."
"But I want to plague you. And what do you mean exceptionally weird today? I'm exceptionally weird every day!"
"Gods, you don't say." Astrid deadpanned. Her husband grinned wickedly. Astrid proceeded to ignore him, cooing over Fenrir. "I swear, if you grow up to be as much of an idiot as your daddy, I'll drown you."
"You said that to Al. He-" Hiccup gasped suddenly. "You staged the accident! The near-drowning, you staged it!"
"Hiccup Haddock, I swear to gods, if you don't shut up right this very second-"
"I'm telling!" Hiccup shot to his feet. Astrid moved faster than he ever imagined, grabbing a nearby chair with her free hand, swinging it round, its legs scrapping across the floor. It smacked Hiccup's legs from under him, he fell heavily into the seat and she shoved him forward, practically winding him against the edge of the table. Hiccup groaned and slumped over the surface, wheezing. "Abuse." He managed.
"Stay." Astrid ordered. Hiccup whined wordlessly and she left him there. She heard Toothless scuffle towards his rider as she into the back room, Fenrir grumbling in the crook of her elbow.
"I'm dying. You saw what happened, make sure they know." Hiccup closed his eyes. Toothless complained and started licking Hiccup's face. Hiccup coughed and spluttered, pushing the Night Fury away. Toothless chortled and started lathering slobber all over his human. "Toothle- ugh!" Hiccup spat and tried desperately to wipe his face on his sleeves, only smearing the mess more.
"Need a hand?" Hiccup peered through a gap in his arms, seeing Aloe. She wore her new pastel blue dress, made by Nana H, and one of her famed flower crowns. Toothless beamed a gummy smile at her, nuzzling and curling around her, but not layering her in drool. "Aw!" Aloe gushed, throwing her arms around the dragon's neck. "I love you too, Toothless!" He seemed very pleased with that, flipping Aloe up and into the saddle. Her crown slipped over her eyes, pulling a few strands of hair with it. She puffed those out of her mouth, pushing the headgear back up and smiling lopsidedly. "Onwards!" She declared. Toothless bounded out the door, her squealing and clinging on tightly.
Hiccup sighed, rising and heading to the back room to change into something cleaner, drier and not so fish-smelly. Astrid didn't even question it; there was no need to question it, it was Toothless. She sat in the middle of the bed, Fenrir laid out before her, changing his nappy. She was the only one to ever successfully change Fenrir's nappy without making too much mess- the tot didn't like the cold and kicked his feet, which prompted them to hold him gently by the ankles, but even then only Astrid was allowed to do that. Hiccup said it was favouritism. Astrid said it was pure skill.
"Can we please agree no more?" She asked as he dumped his drenched tunic on the floor, rummaging about for a new one. "Four is enough, right?"
"We keep saying that about dragons and we still need at least two more. Apparently." He added as her expression hardened. He turned back to the trunk, looking for his thicker red tunic, one he had gotten for his birthday. Astrid re-diapered and re-clothed her baby, wrapping him loosely in blankets to settle him for his mid-morning nap. She looked up, sighing quietly at the scars and burns criss-crossing her husband's back. She had had years to get used to them; even so, seeing them always made her angry and her stomach hurt. She was slightly relieved to see them disappear under his favoured garment. "What's wrong?"
"You're making the face."
"What face?" Hiccup pulled at the corners of his mouth with his fingertips, pouting. "That's not- I don't pull that face."
"Well, obviously it looks a lot better on me, but you do make that face, deny it all you want, but you do." He didn't even bother ducking the pillow. It smacked him in the face and Astrid smirked triumphantly. "Remind me why I married you."
"Remind me why I married you."
"I don't know. Maybe you were desperate."
"Maybe I just didn't want to get stuck with Snotlout."
"Like I said. Desperate."
"Aw, you're not sulking, are you?" When he said nothing, she cracked up laughing. Fenrir complained at her. "Oh, sorry, baby, but you've got to laugh at Daddy, he's silly." She settled the infant again, lowering her voice. "Hiccup, come here." He shook his head. "Stop being such a child and don't tell me you're technically nine-"
"I don't sound like that." He mumbled.
"Yeah you do." Astrid snapped her fingers and pointed sharply at the bed. Hiccup made a face, dragging his feet and swinging his arms, leaning this way and that to show her he really didn't want to sit next to her, she was being mean, he was doing this very reluctantly. The second he sat down, he got a pinch on the leg. He simply raised a brow, as if to say told you so. "Ah, don't sulk." Astrid teased, curling her fingers under his chin. "I'd have picked you over Snotlout any day."
"How about the day I beat you in the dragon killing competition?"
"Well, not that day-"
"And all the days I was winning in the training-"
"Hiccup, I didn't mean literally any day, I meant-"
"Or the time I sort of kidnapped you. And Toothless put you in a tree."
"And the day I punched Snotlout in the face and you missed it."
"I haven't forgiven you for that."
"Ah, good times." Hiccup grinned wistfully. Astrid rolled her eyes. "He still brings it up now."
"Oh, you know Snotlout. He likes to milk it."
"He always make it sound like it was yesterday."
"That's 'cos it was such a big shock to his system." Astrid laughed. Then pouted. "I wish I could have seen it, I'd give almost anything, your other leg included."
"Why my leg? Why not yours?"
"Because I need my legs."
"And I don't?"
"No, of course not." Astrid smirked. Hiccup blew a raspberry and she tutted. "Child." She accused. "I'm technically nine." She mimicked, before the words had even left his lips. "Predictable little bubba!" She cooed. Hiccup stuck his tongue out, sulking again, hunching his shoulders. Astrid bowed her head, gently butting his chin and drawing his attention. "Hi." She smiled sweetly. Hiccup shut his eyes and hummed. "Big baby boo!" Astrid hissed. "Do you want nap-time too?"
"Ah. Mean wifey." He shook his head. "Very mean indeed."
"Oh shush." Astrid smiled. "Someone has to keep you on all five toes."
And there we are! Just a little Hiccstrid to wrap this up! You guys are amazing, thank you all for sticking with me through this, all the reading and the reviewing, you didn't need to stay with me, but you did and I'm so grateful! Fellow Fanfictioners, you're the best ^_^
For future reference- some of you know this already as you have asked, but there are plans to do a story for each of the Haddock children, so my HTTYD fic run isn't over yet! ^_^