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Home for the Holidays

Chapter 7 – "Here Comes Santa Claus"

Dean was glad Sam's steadying hand was on his arm. He wasn't sure he would have been able to remain upright when Josh plowed into him. Guilt of a different kind gnawed at his stomach now; he'd broken his promise to a nine-year-old boy who had believed in him and who was grieving the loss of a father. Josh didn't deserve that. Dean knew he had to make amends.

"Hey, Josh?" he asked quietly as he gently pushed the young boy back so he could look into the child's face.

Josh sniffled and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes as he looked up at Dean.

"Let's go to the couch and talk, all right? I'm feeling a little stiff and sore." Actually, his shoulder and head throbbed in time with the beat of his heart, but Dean kept that information to himself. Sam helped him get settled down on Bobby's lumpy couch and Josh curled up on the cushion beside him, unwilling to be too far from Dean's side.

The smell of roasting turkey floated into the living room from the kitchen and Dean breathed deeply of the delicious scent.

Sam grinned. "Are you drooling, bro?"

Dean kicked wearily at his brother's foot. "Bite me."

"Sam!" Jamie yelled as he barreled into the room and headed straight for the younger Winchester. He threw himself at Sam's long legs as the young hunter lifted the boy into his arms.

"Come on, kiddo," Sam grinned as he tickled the Jamie's belly. "Let's go see what your mom and Bobby have cooking in the kitchen."

"Okay," Jamie grinned, nodding so hard that his hair flopped across his forehead.

Sam looked over his shoulder at his brother, and Dean knew that he was giving him time to talk with Josh about what had happened.

The room was silent once Sam had retreated into the kitchen with Jamie. Josh sniffled every now and then from his place beside Dean on the couch, but was otherwise quiet.

"Guess I have some explaining to do," Dean said quietly, watching as Josh's eyes swung around to focus on his face.

"You promised me you wouldn't go hunting," Josh accused a second time in a hurt voice. "You got hurt, Dean." Tears formed in his eyes and the boy stubbornly blinked them back. "I don't wanna lose you, too. I don't wanna care about anybody anymore. They're all gonna die, and it hurts so bad." Josh turned away from Dean to stare into the crackling fire.

"Yeah, I know all about that," Dean sighed as he scrambled to figure out what to say to the young boy next to him. "But Josh, life isn't really worth living if you don't allow yourself to care about anyone. Besides, Jamie needs someone to love him and watch out for him."

Josh wiped his nose on his sleeve and suddenly looked younger than his nine years. "Did you watch out for Sam when you were my age?"

"Yeah, I did," Dean admitted. "My dad was away hunting a lot, and he'd leave me and Sam alone in motel rooms for a few days at a time." Dean didn't want to tell the boy that sometimes it was a week or more. "I told you my mom died when I was four years old; Sammy was just a baby. I used to climb into his crib at night and feel like I was keeping him safe. We moved around a lot once my mom died, so sometimes Sam was the only friend I had."

"My mom's sad all the time," Josh sighed, pushing his bangs back out of his face. "Was your dad sad?"

"Yes, and very determined to find the thing that killed my mom," Dean explained. "But he loved us." The oldest Winchester swallowed hard. John gave his life so that he could live, and Dean was wasting it by wallowing in guilt. That had to change, but he knew it was going to be hard to reverse his thinking about the day his father died.

"When I grow up, I want to be a hunter so I can keep more people from getting hurt like my dad," Josh stated with determination.

"Josh," Dean stated quietly in a tone that made the boy look straight into his eyes, "you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do with your life. You can always have a career and support hunters by doing research or by offering them a place to stay. Your mom and your brother need you, kiddo, so don't go off without thinking."

Josh flopped against the back of the couch and heaved a deep sigh. "I'm just so mad, Dean," he choked out. "It's not fair!"

"No, Josh, it's not fair. I'm angry about my dad, too, but we have to keep living. Anger and guilt aren't what our fathers would want for us."

The nine-year-old tugged his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. Propping his chin on his knees, he gazed into the fire. "I know," he sighed. Then he looked at up the hunter beside him. "Dean, how come you broke your promise?"

Dean ran his good hand through his hair and tried to ignore the pounding in his head. "You know how hard it is to lose someone you love," he began slowly and watched as Josh nodded. "When my dad died, some things happened that made me feel like it was my fault – like I should have died instead of my dad."

Josh's face turned stormy. "No, Dean!" he protested. "I'm glad you're here." His small hands reached out to grip the arm of Dean's flannel shirt.

"Me, too, kiddo," Dean yawned, suddenly so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open.

"Supper is ready!" Sam announced as he entered the room with Dean's plate. "We thought we'd all just bring our plates in here and eat with you," he told his brother.

Jamie walked slowly behind the youngest Winchester carrying a glass of tea. His tongue poked between his lips as he concentrated on not spilling any.

Sam grinned as he noticed Josh scooting closer to Dean on the couch so that no one could sit between them. Jamie climbed up next to his brother after placing Dean's tea on the end table next to the couch.

Stephanie brought the small boy his plate and everyone was soon eating the turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce.

"Is there pie?" Dean asked hopefully.

"We just started eating," Bobby protested, "and you're already thinking about desert."

"It's pie, Bobby," Dean explained seriously as Josh and Jamie giggled.

When supper was over, Sam helped Stephanie and Bobby carry everything back to the kitchen after helping Dean stretch out on the couch for a much-deserved nap. When the youngest Winchester returned to the living room a short while later, he found Dean snoring softly as Josh watched him from the floor beside the couch. Jamie had dozed off on the rug in front of the fire while playing with the new Transformer he'd received for Christmas.

"Looks like it didn't take him long to fall asleep," Sam commented with a small smile.

Josh nodded. "Are you sure he's going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine, Josh," Sam assured the young boy. He caught himself just before he told Josh that Dean had suffered through much worse before and come out fine on the other side.

"I bet Dean's a great big brother," Josh murmured softly.

Sam grinned. "The best," he answered proudly. "He always put my needs before his own, just like you do with Jamie."

Josh's eyes widened in surprise. "You do put him first whether or not you realize it," Sam assured the boy. "You remind me of my brother."

Josh's cheeks flushed with a touch of pride, but before he could respond Jamie stirred on the carpet.

The small boy sat up and rubbed at his eyes with his fists. "Mr. Singer has presents under his tree, Joshie," he said, pointing to the tree in the corner.

Sam swept the boy up into his arms and settled him onto his hip. "I think Santa left your presents here because he knew you'd be celebrating Christmas with us."

Jamie's eyes grew round. "Really?" he asked in surprise. "Wow!" He squirmed to get down. "Mommy!" he yelled as he ran into the kitchen.

Dean stirred on the couch, the boy's yelling drawing him from slumber. "Wha time 'zit?" he asked sleepily.

"It's time to unwrap presents, Dean," Josh beamed from his place on the floor beside the couch.

Dean scrubbed his good hand over his face and allowed Sam to help him into a sitting position. His shoulder throbbed relentlessly, but he tried hard to ignore it when Josh curled up beside him on the couch.

Sam settled on the floor next to his feet as Bobby and Stephanie followed Jamie back into the room.

"I hear Santa made a visit to my house," Bobby smiled at the Stevenson boys.

Jamie bounced up and down. "Can we see what he left us, Mr. Singer?"

"Sure thing, kiddo," Bobby smiled. "Go sit with your momma, and I'll pass out the presents."

"Mommy, come sit with me and Josh," the little boy called. He clambered onto the couch and Stephanie followed. She settled down beside Josh and drew Jamie into her lap.

Bobby began to pass out gifts and Sam was surprised to see a somewhat lumpy gift land next to his leg with his name on it. It was soon followed by a rolled up piece of white paper. Dean had one of those, too. Soon all of the presents had been distributed and it was time to open them.

Josh and Jamie both eyed their piles anxiously. "Go ahead, boys," Bobby told them. "Youngest always goes first."

The boys grinned at one another and tore into their gifts.

"Wow!" Jamie squealed. "Look, Josh, a racetrack!"

"I got a garage!" Josh told his kid brother. "We can put them together and share."

"Okay!" the youngest brother enthused.

Dean shared a delighted grin with his brother. He hadn't felt this happy in a very long time.

"And we got cars, Joshie!" Jamie hollered, swinging around a five-pack of race cars.

"Two packs!" Josh replied as he held up another box containing the shiny vehicles. Then he reached for the next box and tore the paper off. "Two Nerf guns!"

"Hey, I got two guns," Jamie announced, sounding confused.

"There's a note on here," Josh said as he pulled off the slip of paper taped to the package of one of the Nerf guns. He laughed. "Two of them are for Sam and Dean so we can have a Nerf war!" He looked up at the Winchesters before grinning at his little brother. "Me and Dean are so gonna cream you and Sam!"

"Are not!" Jamie protested as he scrambled from his mom's lap and ran to Sam's side. "Tell him, Sam!"

The younger Winchester chuckled and tugged the little boy into his lap. "We'll figure all of that out later. We still have presents to unwrap."

Jamie chewed his lip thoughtfully a moment before climbing back into his mother's lap and unwrapping the rest of his gifts.

Bobby had already received his gift of alcohol from Sam and Dean, but was pleased with the shiny lighter inscribed with his initials and "Singer Salvage" that they had wrapped and put under the tree for him. Jamie had drawn the gruff older hunter a picture of Santa Claus and a Christmas tree that Bobby immediately put on the refrigerator. Stephanie had wrapped him a package of homemade brownies that had him salivating. "I'm hiding these until you boys leave," he told the Winchester brothers.

Sam and Dean were delighted to discover they each had their own packages of homemade brownies. Sam slapped his brother's hand away when Dean tried to pilfer a brownie from his pack. "Eat your own, jerk!" he fussed.

"I will, Sammy," Dean answered, speaking through a mouthful of brownie goodness.

Dean's gift from Sam was a new belt with sigils and protective symbols emblazoned around it. "Thanks, Sammy," Dean breathed as his fingers caressed the imprinted leather. "Where did you find this?"

"I bought the belt and put the symbols on it once we got here," Sam explained. He reached for his gift from Dean and was shocked when the torn wrapping paper revealed the Ninja Turtle he'd always wanted as a child.

"Don't get all weepy on me, Samantha," Dean challenged with a smirk once he saw the expression on his brother's face.

"Thanks, Dean," Sam grinned, swallowing hard. "I didn't know you even remembered that I had wanted one."

Dean just shrugged, a bit embarrassed. "Open your other gift," he encouraged.

Sam reached for the other clumsily wrapped package and found a new knife. "Dean, this is amazing," he said softly.

"My baby brother has to be able to protect himself," Dean grinned.

"Cool, a knife!" Jamie crowed.

Sam stood up and immediately moved to Bobby's gun safe where he was met by the older Hunter. The knife was safely locked away from small fingers.

Bobby had gifted the boys with new shirts and a bag of snacks for the road. Stephanie had received a gift card for the local grocery store from the Winchesters and Bobby along with a new scarf and gloves.

Then, Josh hurried into the kitchen and returned with three bags of cookies. "My mom helped me make these for you," he announced shyly as he handed bags to Dean, Sam, and Bobby.

Dean tried one right away and announced them perfect. "We need to learn how to make these, Sammy," Dean sighed happily.

"I can show you!" Josh announced. "My mom showed me. Come on!"

"Now?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Sure, if that's okay. We can't have a Nerf war until Dean's better." Josh suddenly looked uncertain. "But only if you want to…."

"Of course we do, but Dean is going to sit at the table and just watch," Sam cautioned.

An hour later, the kitchen was a mess, but smelled of delicious cookies. They had all taste-tested more than their fair shares. Josh stood close to Dean so that he was brushing against his good shoulder. "This was a much better Christmas than I thought it would be," he sighed.

"Yeah, kiddo," Dean agreed, seeking his brother's eyes. "As long as we're with our family and friends, it's a great Christmas."

To be continued in an epilogue….