AN: So.. I received some feedback and decided to go on :)
Tell me what you think of this one too!
*stroke* oh, she was so nervous.
*stroke* she wanted this competition to go well so badly!
*stroke* she had to be faster than that damned 35 seconds!
*breath* she had to! Just breath, Rose.
When she arrived on the other side of the pool she breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly.
Laughter once again caught her attention and watched with envy Anne that was laughing with Shaileen, without a care in the world.
Of course, they didn't have the pressure she was feeling. They always achieved the results they wanted.
"Rose go!" Her trainer shouted to her.
Startled, she pushed herself from the wall and sprinted to reach the others.
She always had to fight with all their might to succeed even in the slightest, she reasoned with herself while swimming. The others, instead, reached .thing without any effort.
Life was so unfair sometimes.
She immediately scolded at herself: what a stupid thought!
She was lucky in every other respect: she had a loving family she loved and who loved her, money wasn't a problem and she had everything she wanted.
It was so unfair of her to think she was unlucky!
But she couldn't help herself: she knew every one of her teammates, their names, to which school they went, but they didn't even make the effort of remembering her name!
With one angry stroke she finished the lane and went out of the water.
As the water trickled down her body, her anger seemed to blend with the drops and leave her body, and she was left with dejectedness and worry.
Sighing she emptied her googles and that were now full of her tears.
She stomped to her bag, took out her towel and took off her swim cap.
Wrapping her towel around herself she sat down, leaning against the wall, hugging her legs to her chest.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself.
«You can do this.» she reassured herself.
Then the whistle signaled the start of the first tournament and she broke down.
«no, no I can't. I'm always a disappointment for everybody, especially myself. I can't do this» she thought, heaving with sobs but trying to keep quiet.
Her whole body was shaking, and tears were streaming freely down her face while she conceded herself a couple of minutes of weakness.
A tap on her shoulder startled her, but she kept her head down, knowing she looked like a mess and hoping that whoever it was would go away.
Or was it her turn? What if it was her trainer calling her?
No, he would have shouted like always.
"Hey, you okay?" asked a male voice.
Wait. It was that voice. The one of that boy with spiky brown hair and a gorgeous smile.
Her head snapped up in shock while she cursed herself: yeah, go on, show your worst face to your crush! Right!
His look for questioning after some moments of silence and Rose hurried to answer.
A croaked "okay" was all that she could get out.
God, her voice sounded uglier than usual after she cried.
He looked at her doubtfully and sat down next to her, sighing.
She couldn't believe what was happening: was he really talking with her?
"Seriously, though, what's up?" He asked softly, looking at her face.
She was surprised: what?!
"Nothing, really... Guess I'm just nervous"
It wouldn't do to tell him her thoughts, he didn't need to listen to her stupid whining.
Hell, he was probably just being polite and acting out of pity.
His voice was even softer this time.
"Well, you shouldn't be... It's just another competition, isn't it?"
She let out a bitter laugh.
"What?" He asked, put out.
"Yeah, another disappointment.." She said, and unwilling tears started welling up in her eyes.
Why did she say that? And why was she so emotional?
She jumped when his hand covered hers, but didn't pull away.
"Come on, I'm sure you're letting yourself down more than you should." He whispered, flicking his thumb over her hand as he spoke.
"You-..you don't know how bad I am at this... I-..I don't even know why I keep doing this.." She said, her voice breaking over and over.
He kept stroking her hand slowly, staring forward at the busy pool.
"Because you like it?" He asked.
She reasoned silently: he may have a point.
"John!" Came the voice of their coach.
He reluctantly got up, still clutching her hand in his.
"I gotta go" he said softly, fixing his eyes in hers.
Rose felt like she was drowning in them.
"I'm sure you can do this, okay?" He asked and she only nodded, not trusting words.
His manic grin came out at that point.
"Great. Good luck Rose!" He said, hurrying away after stroking her hand one last time.
She was stunned: he knew her name!
John Noble, the best swimmer of her team knew her name!
"Rose!" Her trainer broke once again her thoughts.
Time to face her fear.
She was in the call room and she was panicking. Again.
She couldn't do this. It was too much.
She wanted to go well, she just needed to believe in herself.
Easy to say.
She walked to her chair: her tournament started after this one.
Her nerves were breaking.
Suddenly she caught sight of a familiar face and she saw John smiling up at her and giving her thumbs up.
She could do this.
She got to her diving board and took a deep breath, diving in the water as soon as the whistle blowed, the grin of John Noble impressed in her mind.
Except she couldn't, she thought running to the shower.
35.0...her trainer was quite happy, he didn't even reprimand her. But that was normal, she wasn't one of his favorites, the ones he always corrected and incited.
She wasn't even crying. She didn't have the strength for it anymore.
She didn't try to collect herself, she just dressed and dried her hair, then exited the changing room.
She spotted her team and quickly made a beeline for the door, careful to avoid them.
When she reached her father's waiting car, she turned around and saw a glimpse of brown hair, but her vision got blurred from her tears.
His face fell when he saw her face: she was distraught.
All he wanted to do was run after her and take her in his harms, holding her until she stopped crying and she felt better.
What he did instead was clench his hands, turn back to his friends and nod mindlessly while his mind kept repeating the moment they shared.
Oh boy, he was in trouble.
AN (2): I'm not really sure about this chapter for the length and also because of the technical parts..Is it understandable?
Please, help me get better :)