Chapter 2

Waking was not a simple thing. For when the fair folk took hold of your life they left a little in your mind. There were often tales of the men and women taken by the beautiful ones of the other world. They were never quite the same when they returned to our world from that land of mystery. I have often wondered if in those moments with the lady I had ventured into the place between their world and our own. For it was never the same for me after that day. The sun was bright over head when I woke, although I had thought it had been setting before the lady had come to me, but perhaps the shadow of the day was just an illusion in that place.

Fayleen lie where I had left her on the stone, holding a flower above her head, smiling at it as she sang in a soft tune. She looked at me as I sat up in the grass beside the still water.

"Took a nice little nap, did you?" She said, halting her song. I could see that she had collected a few pretty buds in the time that I had been unconscious.

For a moment, I questioned what I had seen. Perhaps I had fallen asleep and dreamed the entire encounter. What an addled lass I was. But then, I looked down at the glass bottle at my side and my face grew pale. I reached down and picked it up. It was a small bottle, something normally used to hold the thick pungent potion that we often gave to those with the ague in the changing cold season. Just as the lady had promised I could see through the brown glass, a parchment inside.

"What is that you have there?" Fayleen asked, her plants forgotten as she sat up with ladylike grace. Her gentle gaze was curious and she hurried to my side, parting her skirts delicately as she sat beside me on the ground.

"I found it in the water…" I murmured. This was partially true. Although I did not mention the lady and the spell she had somehow woven around the object.

"Well, uncork the bottle and let us see what is inside."Fayleen said quite matterafactly.

Something told me that whatever the letter contained, it was for my eyes alone and I looked up at my friend with a smile.

"I do not believe that it is meant for us. Let us forget it."

As if meant to draw our attention away at the perfect moment, a cart pulled up on the small path that bordered the woods and led up the hill into the protected village. Inside the cart was Iubdan, the Britain. He, I had met many times. The man who would never be head of the household, for his kinship to our enemy could not be forgotten, had given the forest children. He and Sorcha had three children, one a son that would no doubt inherit from Liam someday. He was the husband of Sorcha and the tale told that he had been her protector throughout a good portion of her trial of pain and of silence. Anyone who saw the two together however, knew that his bond to the daughter of the house went much deeper than protector. The love that shown in their eyes was the talk of legends. Many a young woman would dream to find such love in their life.

"Tieve. Fayleen. Have you girls a ride home?" Iubdan asked. Since he had come to sevenwaters, the Britain had taken it upon himself to know that name of every man, woman, and child in the village. He even knew the names of all of the horses, dogs, and other named animals. We knew he was trust worthy and he deserved our reverence and respect. After all, even though Lord Liam was the Lord of Sevenwaters, it was well known that Iubdan was his second in command and very authorative in his own way.

"We walked here to gather herbs." I answered quickly. Iubdan had often come to Miran's little home to help keep the roof repaired and one summer back, he had even built a little wood shed to keep our winter branches dry throughout the thick snows that sometimes came. He was another member of our little make shift family.

He nodded, his grey eyes appreciative. He had often remarked upon my strange resemblance to his wife. Sorcha was small and wild looking as a child- like me. Her hair was dark curls like mine although I was told that my face was just a bit differently shaped. Armed with the knowledge of my parentage, suddenly I felt awkward in front of the man that I knew was my uncle.

"You do well, providing your salves. Sorcha is grateful to you and to Grian."

"How is the lady?" Fayleen asked, drawing the attention back to her. She stood in the sunshine looking vibrant and beautiful as always. She drew some of the petals that had made their way into her hair out as she spoke.

"She is well. She is teaching our youngest the healing art. Liaden is not much younger than you, Tieve and soon will be accompanying her mother to the village. Perhaps you can work with her."

I thought not. I would be leaving soon, if the Lady's words were true.

"You girls should not be walking alone." Iubdan said, seriousness in his voice. There was a memory in his eyes and suddenly a dark image was in my mind. Fear. A girl's cry in the darkness. Tears falling in terror as a caring hand held her close, calming her with gently words.

I blinked back tears for a moment and looked away from Iubdan's gaze. What a strange moment we had shared. He too looked away from me. I do not think he knew I shared his thought but hid his weakness all the same.

It was Fayleen, oblivious to the exchange, that spoke first.

"We have walked this path many times. The forest is safe. It protects its own."

Our village had taught us this fact many times and in most cases this was the truth. However, it was still a fresh memory for me; an event that had taken us all unawares. The men that had returned battle weary after a fight near the marshes. Too much to drink had caused one hardened warrior to make an advance on woman that was not appreciated. No one was around to help her. But the story was out in the morning and we had never before seen such retribution from the Lord of Sevenwaters or Iubdan.

The matter was brought by the girl's father to the family the following day. Grian and I had tended her and were there when Liam and Iubdan came to her home to ask her questions. They were surprisingly gentle but there was unbridled anger behind their eyes.

With coaxing, she finally told them who it had been that had taken her again her will. There had been no trial. The two men had gone and found the soldier themselves. The penalty was death. They had spoken with him, it was said but he had shown no regret for his actions. In fact, he had called her unspeakable names. It was Liam who drew his sword and plunged it deep into the man's chest. There would be no allowances made for this evil in their home.

The tale had taken only moments to be passed. Perhaps that is what the men of the house wanted. There was some unspoken story that made it such a fear in both men's hearts. I did not know what it was but the two men had made it clear that any man that hurt a woman in this way in our forest would die for it.

As we stood by the lakeshore, this did not need to be said aloud for it was on all of our minds. Fayleen had taken this as justice done and had said this assured our safety even more. I did not trust enough to think that men would never harm us but I was wild and the forest my home. I did not take much heed of this warning.

"You will not travel home after dark unaccompanied." The big man said with authority in his voice. This was not a request but an order.

"If we leave now, we will be home before the sun sets." I said softly. Somehow, I knew this to be true. I felt time pass in a wave in my heart. I could see myself at home as the sun made its final descent. It was not a guess but I could not explain how I knew what I knew. It had always been this way. I knew when the first snow was coming, before the clouds reached our sky. I knew when the birds would fly away. I could tell you on what day the first ice would creep onto the lake and without doubt I could leave my home on a given day and know which of my plants would be in bloom and where to find them, while Grian often went to a place just to find that the plants were not ready to be cut and would have to come home and wait a few more days. I just knew.

"I will take you." Iubdan replied and suddenly I dreaded it. This man was my family. In marriage only, perhaps, but still family.

"You need not do that." I replied stubbornly. I looked up at him, trying to think of a good way to deny the request.

But it was not a request. Although the Big Man watched me with a kind of a humor in his eyes as he pulled the cart beside us and helped us onto the long bench. I now know I must have reminded him of his wife, my aunt.

On the short ride home Fayleen took over the conversation and gave me ample time to go over the Lady's warning in my head. The islands. They were not safe. They were often fought over and were kept by both sides. Many died on those islands. How could I be expected to travel to them and live? And who was this man that I was to seduce? This could not be the woman's intentions. What right had the fair folk to tell us who to love? No, I would follow the task as best I could but I would not take this man's heart. I would not let him fall in love with me. Whoever he was.

When we arrived home, Miran was by the door ready to welcome me home with a hug but she stopped short, looking at my face. She took my hand and drew me to her side and put on a false smile for Iubdan and waved as he drove away to drop Fayleen at her home.

"What is wrong?" Miran demanded, before we were even inside the house. I opened my mouth and closed it, tears stinging my eyes. This was the problem with words. One hardly knew if using them would be saying too much.

The Lady had not told me who I could tell. I wanted to believe that I could Miran with this but I felt a foreboding.

"Do you remember," I whispered, my voice so soft that she had to strain to hear me, "The story of Dierdre, Lady of the Forest?"

Miran's eyes drove into me with an intensity that made me quake but she nodded slowly.

"I saw her today, by the water." I said slowly and Miran stopped me, raising her hand and shaking her head.

"I do not know much about the Fairfolk child and I do not want to lead you wrong. What you are about to tell me, may not be for me to know." Miran looked as if she were waring with herself.

I nodded miserably. I had known this to be true in my heart.

Miran pulled me onto the bed and sat beside me, holding me to her heart. We were both crying.

"Did the Lady give you a task?" She asked me. I could hear in her voice how she dreaded the answer.

Again, words were not needed and I nodded.

"Then you must do it." She answered quite simply.

She stood suddenly and took a deep breath and looked down at me.

"By the God's how you've grown!" She said, forcing a smile onto her worn face. Her hair was the color of straw and she was not so old in her years that there was not beauty about her.

"If it is time for me to let you go, then I shall do it." She said bravely.

I smiled softly, not feeling joy in my heart but more shame that I could put into words. How would she feel if she knew that I was leaving simply to know my father, my real family?

That night was busy for Miran. While I feigned sleep, she prepared bread and packed supplied. She took one of her own gowns out and began to adjust it to fit me. This took quite a bit of work as I was half her height and so thin that the gown could have covered me twice. She did the same to her a winter cloak and when I woke they were all sitting by the door with a pair of boots that I had never seen before.

I eyed the boots with loathing, as I only wore them in the cold. I much preferred the feeling of the grass and dust on the soles of my feet. I looked at Miran and she shrugged.

"I intended them as a gift anyway, now is as good a time as any."

She did not ask me anything. I was surprised at how easy it was to say goodbye. There was an unspoken promise between us that I would return to her someday. Even after packing I did not know where to begin, so I took the bag and dressed in the new gown and cloak and boots and said goodbye to the only Mother I had ever know. She hugged me tightly and then I turned and walked away from our home.

The forest seemed to be the only place to go. Perhaps I believed that as long as I was leaving, Dierdre would see that and come to tell me where to go but that did not happen right away. I walked for a long time until I came upon a clearing and saw a beautiful tree with an ancient face. I knelt before it and took the little bottle out of the pocket in my bag.

Bravely, I did not hesitate. I uncorked the bottle and, using a pointed twig, I drew out the message.

To my dear family,

I will never see you grow into your feathers. You hardly know the thought that I carry now but if you could you would feel so many forms of love. I wish you warmth and safety. If I could I would stand over in protection and make sure that neither hawk, nor dog ever frighten you. I did not leave for lack of love but I am part of something that began before you and will continue long after you are gone. Know that I think of you and morn for you. I will leave until you have gone and I will return years after your passing but I will never forget. This is cost of Oognachts curse. This is my punishment and it is lifelong. Goodbye dear ones.

There was no signature. It did not need one. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I could see my father writing this. I could feel his sadness through the page. He thought there was nothing he could do. If he had known his children held something of humanity, he would have stopped at nothing to keep us. I could not understand why he had just given up. Lady Dierdre had found a way. Why had she not told him.

Everyone believed that the brother with the Swans wing had drowned. One day he had just walked into the water and with one arm as a wing, how could he swim? But Dierdre had said not to tell him. He was alive somewhere. I did not know if he was in our world or hers but I longed to find out.

I lay there beside the tree for a long time. I did not know where to go next or if I had made an error in judgement to leave home at all. Then, the voice reached out to me mind, and it was not Dierdre.

Child, your pain overwhelmes you. What is wrong?

It was the mind to mind speak of tales. I found then, that not only the fair folk had such power.

Who are you? My mind asked.

I am a Druid. My name is Conor.

I knew this. I knew him, somehow. My mind raced back to the stories. Yes, one of the brothers had become a Druid. He was wise, they said although young.

I do not know what to do? I do not know who to tell. There is a secret. I have been told a secret by one of the fairfolk and I do not know who to tell.

That is a problem. The Druid's voice in my head seemed amused.

Will you show yourself? I do not like talking like this. I thought testily.

From behind the tree stepped a man in plain white robe. His hair was long and looked off with small adornment here and there. His eyes were calm, deep, and understanding. He was not laughing at me.

His eyes took me in and suddenly there was a question in them.

"Your mind tells me a story. You have opened it to me without really knowing it. I try hard not to use my gift to penetrate thoughts that are not meant for me, however, now that I have I cannot believe what I have seen." The Druid sat on a the root of the tree, balancing without wavering.

"I do not know what to believe." I moaned. Tears filled my eyes and I shook unrestrained as I let them fall.

"I do not see why the fair folk would lie to you. They helped my sister and we owe them much. But they weave a web that we cannot always see. They have done a great injustice to my brother."

Conor watched me as I cried. An injustice to his brother? What about the injustice done to me? My entire life I had been treated as an orphan when my family was on the other side of the lake. I had never been accepted and my own aunt whose face I shared could have helped me with that burden and loved me. I was the daughter of her most cherished brother. That must make me important. Why had they done this to me?

I am sure that my cries filled the forest that night. I do not know what Conor thought of me, a sobbing mess of a girl, laying on the ground, beating the earth with her fists.

"I did not get to know him!" I sobbed.

"Finbar was the wisest of us. Even more than I. I wish I had seen it before it was too late. He had the gift of sight. He foresaw things that I never forgave him for not sharing. But I know now that it was unfair of me. He saw the end to the curse and he knew when I called that the time had come. As a Swan, I maintained part of my human reckoning, but the others did not. They followed me simply because there was a pull that their animal selves could not understand. Finbar was content as a swan. Once human again, he had flashes of the sight telling both of this life and the family of swans he left behind. He could not be in one place without forsaking the other."

I nodded and sat up. Mud and dusk covered me. Streaking tears had collected the powdery soil on their paths and I looked a fright I am sure. But Conor did not seem to mind and I did not care.

"The Lady told me that the family may know someday but until my task is done, Finbar must not. Could he not help me? I fear I have the sight…or something like it. I know things without any reason to know them."

I did not to explain further for Conor was nodding and he seemed to understand all too well.

"It is unwise not to heed to their warnings. If they tell you that he must not know, I am afraid they have a good reason although I cannot fathom what it is."

"What should I do?"

Conor stood and reached a hand down to help me stand. I looked up into eyes similar to my own. There was a sense already of family in those eyes. He placed his hands around my sholders and dipped to draw me into an unrestrained embrace. I could sense that he was not just hugging me but Finbar as well. He soon released me and drew back, traces of tears in his eyes.

"I am usually more reserved." He commented dryly and sighed.

"To the islands you must go. To take something for the Lady of the Forest. You will meet a man… It seems to me that the Lady has not yet given you all you need for this journey. In the time until she makes the path clear, I welcome you to come with me. There is a druid camp nearby. You will be fed and clothed simply and we work on your gift. I have often thought that Finbar would have been better off had someone been there to train him on his gifts."

Again I felt an old hurt in this man. So many old hurts in the family. And I had those of my own. From my Father, I gained some sight and my face and hair but what bothered me more was what I was lacking from my mother. Surely there must be have been something that I got from her. What characteristics could a swan possess that would be noticeable on a human. I loved feathers and for now it seemed that was all.

We went by way of no path to through the forest. Conor went back to speaking mind to mind with me. He told me about the Druids and their ways and even shared a joke or two as we travelled. When it grew dark without a word or warning he stopped and laid down to sleep. I smiled. Now here was a man who knew that power of silence. I took a blanket from my bag and made a place not far from him. It was cool but there was no need for a fire, not yet. I lay looking up, not at the trees but the spaces between the trees, where small bits of starry sky could be seen and eventually, I slept.