1"1895"
By: Wtchcool
Disclaimer: I do not own Bowling for Soup's song or any of the works referenced below. If I owned the BBC's "Sherlock," seasons wouldn't be years apart.
Johnny just hit the wall.
He never had it all.
Works out now and then.
Wife's an R.N.
His dreams went out the door
when he turned forty-four.
Should have been with one man.
What happened to his plan?
He was gonna be a surgeon.
He was gonna write.
He was gonna solve crimes
With Sherlock every other night.
His HDTV
is now the enemy.
Looks at his average life
And nothing has been alright
Since gas street lamps, the telegram.
Way before Instagram
There was Wood and Newman
And "The Tyrolean."
His readers in high school
They tell him that he's uncool.
'Cause he's still preoccupied
With 18—
18—
1895.
He's read all the classics.
He knows every line.
"Trilby," "The Time Machine,"
Even "Sons of Fire."
Still a vet of Afghanistan
And a big ladies' man.
Thought he'd get a hand on
"An Ideal Husband."
Where's the Irregulars children?
And who's the genius that elected Sebastian?
When did Moriarty
become I.T.?
Whatever happened to teaching mathematics?
(Back then you had)
Gas street lamps, the telegram.
Way before Instagram
There was Wood and Newman
And "The Tyrolean."
His readers in high school
They tell him that he's uncool.
'Cause he's still preoccupied
With 18—
18—
1895.
He hates time.
Make it stop.
When did St. Bart's roof become Reichenbach?
And when did "Richard" become an actor?
Please make this
Stop! Stop! Stop!
And bring back—
Gas street lamps, the telegram.
Way before Instagram
There was Wood and Newman
And "The Tyrolean."
His readers in high school
They tell him that he's uncool.
'Cause he's still preoccupied
With 18—
18—
1895.
Author's Note: Henry Wood was a conductor in 1895, whose concert series was promoted by Robert Newman. "The Tyrolean" was a musical theatre production in London. "Trilby" was a novel and later a play and eventually a movie. "Sons of Fire" by Mary Elizabeth Braddon was published in (you guessed it) 1895.
Finally, "An Ideal Husband" was a play by Oscar Wilde. Info courtesy of Wikipedia.
If there are readers that are also interested in either "The Cape," or "The Wizard of Oz," please go check out my ongoing fic, "The WIZARD OF KOZ."