AN: So, I'm like, super angsty. 6 months after writing this and I'm still super angsty about this.
(Ow. Not good. Probably a bit self obsessed)
Anyway, this is a bit sad. and maybe a bit more sad. Just like me before exams (That's me right now).
Warning: Death. (If you're someone who watches Snk is this warning even needed tbh)
Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan belongs to Isayama Hajime.
The blue velvet stretches above them like an elaborate fresco of scattered starlight, the summer wind blowing across the grass in gusts as the scent of some unknown wildflower hangs in the air like a premonition of better days.
Mikasa dares to hope of them.
She nimbly raises her hand, her index finger tracing the curve of the full moon, it's light leaking into her shutting eyelids like rain, leaking right into her veins and her bloodstream. Eren lies beside her with his head nestled on the crumpled fabric of his coat that he has discarded for the surprising warmth of the night. They find comfort in Armin's quiet whispering as he reads for them his tales of oceans and sand and ice.
Eren's voice cuts through the low murmur. Mikasa blinks.
"Look, the stars are falling!"
There is something in his voice that makes her look upwards. Despite the light of the moon, she can just about make out a streak of light near the horizon. Eren is right, it is a falling star. She sits up with urgency, wanting to see the last bit of light on its trail.
"They say that if you wish on a falling star, it'll come true."
Mikasa asks, even though she believes it the second she hears it and she knows Eren does too. To them, Armin only ever speaks the truth.
"Let's make a wish."
In that moment, Eren speaks for all three of them as they stand up together, grass stained hands clenched tightly so as to not stumble on their sleepy feet. Mikasa looks at them with the corner of her eyes; Eren murmurs and Armin whispers, eyes opened and closed. Earth and air. For a second, she can see starshine in Eren's eyes and there is moonlight in the lining of Armin's skin. She smiles.
She knows what they wish for, so she wishes for nothing but safety for this family of hers. This small, broken shard of home. The moonlight glows brighter as the streaking light disappears over the wall.
Mikasa closes her eyes.
The next time she opens them, the moon is above her once again and the water that stretches ahead for miles and miles has caught silverfire. The sand is soft and wet under her feet, and she can taste the air.
They've made it. They've made it to the ocean.
And the air tastes like tears.
"Look, Mikasa, a falling star."
Eren's voice is tired, broken, hoarse with fatigue; but he's correct once again, there is a golden trail near the horizon she can just about make out despite the moonshine bleached sky, alight above their heads. It's taunting them, haunting them with memories. T
hey don't wish for anything this time.
Mikasa looks away and tries to strike a salute despite shaking fists and trembling lips, but Eren holds her hand and she knows what he means. She remembers.
"Will you take me to the sea?"
Mikasa remembers well.
"We'll take you home."
Eren does too.
"I'm here already."
"Tell me you'll take me to the sea"
She trembles so much that Eren has to hold her so she won't fall on her knees. He knows she doesn't have the strength to get up again.
"My scarf, Eren."
She can't help but be surprised by her own voice; half of what it used to be, ridden with tiredness, hoarse with cold. Mikasa unwraps the threading fabric around her neck and wades into the warmth of the ocean, where Armin lies on the sand.
The boy's body lies on the wet sand, covered with a cape of faded green. No matter how hard they try to think otherwise, death is never poetry and he didn't die like they do in metaphors. It's the last time they see him, and she for one, does not wish to leave with the memory of missing limbs and drying blood.
Instead, they will remember him in the sunlight and in the smell of the rain, or so she tries to tell herself as salt trickles to her lips; Is it the sea? Is it she herself? She doesn't know. She doesn't think there's a difference, not anymore.
She wraps the fabric around his neck and pushes it further into the water and it hovers on the surface for moments, to them, it seems like infinity; time loses all meaning in dystopia. It takes one last seafoam wave for the green to slowly start sinking near the horizon. Eren holds her near, near enough for their heartbeats to harmonize but there's a beat missing.
(Mikasa's not sure he exists anyway.)
A billion stars spread across the sky but there is none of the star-shine left in their eyes. The taunting golden trail still lingers in the lining of the ocean but they look away. Her hand in his, heavy like lead but he's leading her to the future despite it all.
Mikasa wonders for a moment if they've still got enough goodness in them to love one another and then realizes that she does, that she really still could give him all of her words and all of her melodies (if she's got any left to give).
She wants to survive. Eren does too (Eren has to).
They don't believe in shooting stars anymore, but they believe in living.
Maybe that will be enough.
A/N: I should be studying rn u feel (Leave me a review guys I'd love it tbh)
Edit: Had to publish this again! Hopefully it works this time ahh