Chapter 1


The first couple chapters, especially this one(kinda the prologue?) will be a little different from the rest.
[Arc 1: Childhood - Ch.1-8] Complete
[Arc 2: Reality - Ch.9-?] In Progress

WARNING: Gender Discrimination, Bloody Intense Violence, love of sharp and pointy objects, fluff, gore, love, hate, and all things nice and mean may be found within.

Yes, society is intrinsically discriminate, and this story details some of this. However I believe I'm actually downplaying the reality of gender discrimination in centuries past. Some facts of the past that I've read makes me cringe!

Suggestive themes, innuendos, language, or even catching someone in act itself may occur.
Yes… we may catch Jiraiya peeping!

I will apologize for a terrible story in advance to those who don't like it.
Please don't flame though, you can always just stop reading.
Constructive criticism is welcome :)

Anyone know how to copy Google Docs formatting into Fanfiction?
Every time I save it, half the formatting disappears.
I had to manually fix this entire chapter...


A boy stares at his book with disinterest. Moving his eyes to the paper beside it, he marks the answer down. This continues for a few minutes until the teacher leaves.

*BAM!*

Jumping from shock, he looks at the second book on his desk. Looking up, he sees a football 'jock' staring down at him with a cruel smile. "You know what to do, faggot."

Sighing, the lonely boy puts his own book away, and starts working on his 'new' homework. Knowing the result of refusal, it really didn't cross his mind to decline. His body wasn't strong enough to suffer through a beating. He needed to preserve his strength...


Waking up was probably the strangest thing I'd ever experienced!
More than even dieing!
But, why am I feeling this way?
I can't figure it out… It feels like I'm inside a rubber jar. I feel like I'm inside liquid. I feel like I can stretch the walls. I feel, calm. I was never calm. Why am I calm? Everything's so.. fuzzy.

x-x

My water world. I don't know what else to call this strange space.
There are sounds, but they're so muffled I can't even make out what they are!
Days. Weeks. Months. I don't know how long is passing.
All I know is that I'm tired…

x-x

Why am I here? I know I shouldn't be…
I think it's because I died, right?
Being dead means I don't feel, right?
So sleepy…

x-x

Ah, I died. But where am I now?
Is this the afterlife?

x-x

Something.. is happening?
Why are the walls so small now?
What's….. am I being squeezed?!
Ow, ow,ow,ow! Stop!
Sounds… more than I'd ever heard lately!
Pain! WHY AM I IN PAIN?!
Screaming… am I screaming? No.
Light! Why is it so bright?! OW!
Oh, I am screaming! But, was that me before?
The cold! So.. sleepy… But the pain and cold!
But.. everything still muffled. So bright. So..
Sleepy…

x-x

I think I understand now… It's just so hard to think when so tired all the time.
Hungry. Sleepy. Thirsty. Sleepy. Hungry. Full. Sleepy. Hungry. Sleepy. Pain. Hungry.
It's so hard to think when I can barely have enough time awake to do something other than cry!
But, I finally figured it out! I'm a baby!
I'm alive again…
Should I feel happy or sad?
So sleepy…

x-x

Unknowing of how long has actually passed, I attempted to think through my situation.
Honestly, it didn't matter at this point that I was reborn. No, whatever happened, I'm here.
I need to make the best of my situation. I need to learn. I need to remember. I need to survive.
And I need food… waaaa!

x-x

Okay, these voices are nice. Calming. So calming… A mother's singing…
Has she been doing this every time I go to sleep? It sounds familiar…

So sleepy…

x-x

Opening my eyes shows blurry things. There's so many colors! But so much is red!
Red, I don't know if it's my favorite color or not. But every time, I hear that beautiful voice.
The only thing I can understand is that it's not my language…
But it's always there, and makes me feel so… sleepy…

x-x

As time passes, I can think more and more, little by little.
My vision clears up some, and I'm starting to see more than a blur.
My hearing tightens, letting me understand a little more than vagueness.
It's not enough. But that humming… That warm feeling of being held. It's been so long.

x-x

A few words finally break through, mostly from repetition and knowledge of real sounds.
'Kasan' and 'Aira' - I don't know what they mean, but they are the most common.
So glad I know language pronunciation.
I wish I could see.

x-x

'Kasan' is my mommy. *cough* mother. When was the last time I thought like that?!
'Aira' is me… My name sounds feminine? It's so hard to tell with clogged ears.
And it's not like I can understand what my body is feeling so easily!
The only thing I know, is that I'm feeling something under my skin.
Now that I'm trying to feel my body, several things feel 'wrong'.
I don't get it, but something is inside of me! But it feels part of me…
The problem is, I can barely tell my hand from my foot!
Thankfully, instincts allow me to eat…

x-x

Okay, so those feelings have a hand shape.
That feels like a.. toe? It's so hard when I can't move it!
AH, the humming is back.. so tired…

x-x

Hand? Check. Leg? Check. Arm? Check. Foot? Check.
Nose? Check. Mouth? Easy check.. Food? Check!
How long has it been? I really can't tell time...
But this is starting to taste really good…
Knee? Check. Okay, I think I'm getting it.
Singing.. ah, so wonderful.

x-x

Night time… It's so bright though!
Okay, so… I think I know what's where.
Left arm.. yes! Right? mmm, still feels like a leg moves when I do that.
*Sigh~* Okay, I'll leave that for later. Now, this stuff inside me…
It's kind of like blood? It just slips when I try to move it though!
Strange how I've never felt this stuff before…
Maybe it's 'chi'?
Well, I just have to keep trying..
It would be cool if this was some kind of magic energy!

x-x

So.. this is Kasan's voice?
Ah, so it's Kaasan?
It's such a subtle difference…
Yes, please keep talking! I want to learn as fast as possible!

x-x

Hearing is getting better, but this is ridiculous!
How long do I have to wait before I can see?
How tiresome. How boring. How.. beautiful voice.

x-x

I think I'm being brainwashed!
Kaasan is brainwashing me into sleeping with her voice!
Okay, I don't care that she is.
It passes the time, and I like hearing her.

x-x

Others! There are others around!
How have I never noticed them?!
I know this isn't the first time I've been held by others.
Two are familiar, I can tell!
But, when have I been held by them?!
Not that I feel uncomfortable with them…
Is that my father? He has red hair too…
So strange! Do I have red hair?
Is that short person old or young?
She sounds young. Is she my sister?
Huh? More? Two more short people!
It hurts! Their yelling hurts!
Waaaaaaaa!

Ah! Yay! Kaasan for the rescue!
Wait! Not the.. voice…

x-x

Yes! I moved it!
Ah, it slipped…
But, progress!

x-x

Beautiful…
I waited who knows how long for my eyes to adjust.
But the first person I see completely, my Kaasan, is just perfection…
I decidedly ignore the japanese clothing style.

x-x

My room is pink…
Why is my room pink?
It looks like old style wood home, almost.
And yet, my room is pink...

I can feel it when she washes me.
Not to say she hasn't washed me before.
But this is the first time I can truly feel the majority of my body.
There's no dangly bits…

Waaaaaaaaa!

x-x

Okay, so this house isn't modern.
I can see the slightly transparent walls slide.
And there are swirly things on the walls.
They look familiar.

x-x

Outside the window, I can see a few tall modernistic buildings.
They look like they're made of concrete, but are unfamiliar in style and material.
It's not concrete.
Why are we living in an old japanese style house when I can see this?!
Well, it's fine.

x-x

"aa an"
I try, but my mouth doesn't work.
It doesn't even sound like a word, just more babble!

x-x

The energy moves!
It moves!
I can feel it move down my arm!
I can-ow! Don't move it! Don't move it!

x-x

A man. That red-hair man. He looks important.
He is dressed in a.. kimon thingy? Kimono!
Kaasan wears something like it. Her's is pretty though.
So… japanese type words and a japanese outfit.
The man even has two swords on his back...
While wearing casual clothing?

x-x

"Aira, sush little one, I'm here to feed you."
So much nicer to understand…
Even if it's only one of four I actually understand.

x-x

The energy isn't painful today!
I moved it from my arm to my hand!
Little more each day, in each limb, and it gets easier.
Maybe I can move it all one day?

x-x

"-ga uzumaki to senju-"
I couldn't help but blink as I heard those two names.
Over time I was starting to distinct names, pronouns, conjunctions, and stuff.
'ga' is a particle. Not that it matters at the moment.
But, 'Uzumaki' and 'Senju' stood out.
I can't be sure if they are what I truly think they are, but it freaking fits!
Red hair. Magical energy. Japanese lifestyle. Swirly designs.
What. The. Heck. Is. Going. On. Here?!

x-x

Okay, I really don't want to think this place is where I think it is.
But I've observed for a good week.
And I can't deny it. There is 'Chakra'.
It exists.
I'm here.
I'm in a city that gets freaking wiped off the map in the future.
I just don't know when.
I am decidedly freaking out!
I need Kaasan's voice!
Waaaaa!

x-x

Okay, two days.
All out of my system.
I think I scared Kaasan though.
Yea, looking up at her worried face, I definitely scared her.
I need a plan.

x-x

I have siblings. Many siblings.
I have two older sisters, and an older brother.
They are loud. They are painful. And they are gentle.
I decide I like my oldest sister. She sings like Kaasan.

x-x

Without knowing how long has passed, I just know I need to get strong quickly.
I don't want to die again.
Not in such a miserable manner, at least.
No, I don't want to die again at all!
It doesn't even matter if I'm a girl here.
I just don't want to live in pain again.
I also don't want to live another short life...
Being a girl, I really don't want saggy-
Yea, lets not go there. I just want to live!
How long until the downfall of the clan happens?
I need a way to survive here.

I need a way to survive the coming destruction.
I need a way to prevent the coming destruction!
I need a way to get strong!

I am an Uzumaki, right?
I really hope so.
I need help...

x-x

Tousan.
I finally learned what I should call my father.
He's always away during the day.
I sleep so long that I barely see him.
My family all wears Kimono, but Tousan's looks the best.
He has to be important.
Important in a clan means power.
This means I'll likely inherit this.

x-x

I've come up with a plan.
It's not much, but it will prove beneficial.
Having an adult mind in the body of a baby is probably the biggest hack ever.
I already have advanced knowledge.
I just need to practice this knowledge.

x-x

a2+b2=c2

x-x

Ever pee yourself?
You can probably remember from childhood.
Probably.
Remember crapping yourself?
Probably not.
Me? I feel it daily...
It's truly disgusting.
Ever want to shame someone?
Make them soil themselves and change their clothes for them…
I'm used to it, but every time I think about it, I can't help but feel depressed.

x-x

Remember the corner.
What's in the corner.
Remember the wall.
What's on the wall.
Remember what Kaasan said.
Repeat what she said.
Remember…

x-x

Y=X+20
Y-20=X
Need harder…

x-x

My older brother's name is Akuya
The middle sister is Amaya.
Eldest sister isn't here.
Amaya loves holding me…
She doesn't sing as well as Oldest or Kaasan.
I like it anyways.

x-x

Remember Kaasan's words from yesterday.
Repeat them exactly.
What did she say before?

x-x

V=u(k2-j2)3 - (ob2+e) = …
Maybe too hard… Keep trying.

x-x

A week ago, Tousan said-

x-x

Revelations… My eldest sister is called 'Mito'.
She is younger than Akuya.
But she is called 'Mito'...
My sister is 'Mito'...
What. In. The. World?!

x-x

Feel the flow…
Alter the flow…
Don't force the flow…
Release the flow…

x-x

Mito… I think I'm in love~
She sings better than mother!

x-x

Let the flow guide you…
Let my chakra accumulate…
Follow the flow into my hand…
Release the flow…
I'm getting it!

Stupid slippery stuff…

x-x

Remember what Mito said…

Remember what Mito sang…

Remember what was in the kitchen for breakfast last week…

x-x

I can crawl!
Okay, I can't quite crawl, but I can move!
Kaasan squealed… It hurt…
I have sensitive hearing…

x-x

Okay, so Uzumaki destruction doesn't happen for a few decades.
I'm safe… But that doesn't mean anything.
The future is… bleak.
We are at war!
Yes, war, we are living in the clan wars!
Tousan left in battle armor yesterday…
It was the first time I realized life is dangerous in this world.
Oniisan followed him…
Akuya is only about ten years old…
And he's going to battle with father…
I feel bad. Child soldiers are not something I ever wanted to see.

x-x

They came back safely!
My heart cried in joy!
I have no idea why…
My brother has never held me.
He has smiled at me, but never held me.
Why am I feeling this way?

x-x

Remember what happened when I woke up yesterday.
Remember what Mito said last week.
Remember what Kaasan said to Tousan last month.
Remember…

x-x

Mito sings better than Kaasan…
I love her, but she puts me to sleep…
Too much sleep…

x-x

Crawling is awesome!
I can move!
Free~dom!
Or maybe not, Kaasan put me into the cage…

x-x

Newton's Three Laws state...

x-x

I found Mito.
She's in her room.
Nobody has noticed me today, yet.
She is drawing on rollup paper stuff.
Her writing is beautiful.
And I know it's Fuuinjutsu…
I need to learn japanese language…

x-x

Books are a marvelous thing!
I didn't know they existed in this world.
My parent's room is full of scrolls and books!
I played the innocent card when I found a children's book.
My hand went into my mouth as I looked at the front cover picture.
Kaasan laughed when she found me staring at the 'pretty picture'.
She read me the book!

x-x

Teething is painful!
Oh god, the itching is awful.
My gums are sore.
For several months now, I've chewed on some fruit-like stuff.
Whatever it is, it's sweet, and too big to eat.
Thank You Kaa-san!

x-x

I woke up really early.
Mito-chan left with a short kimono on.
Her legs were covered with wrappings.
She looked like she was going to go running, I think.
Crawling is wonderful!

x-x

Language is hard, but children are insane!
Having an adult mind already attempting to pick apart meanings, I learn quickly.
No, I learn at ungodly speed!
Children don't learn language fast?
That's because they don't have the mind to study or connect words.
They're instinctively connecting meanings to words.
I'm intellectually doing so.
The developing mind of an infant is unparalleled.
If maneuvered correctly, they can pick up ideas and knowledge at an incredible rate.
If the child already knows how to maneuver that mind, it's far faster!
A year old. It's my birthday.
There isn't a celebration.
My only indication is that I recognized their words saying this is the day I was born.
I don't mind… I didn't celebrate in my last life either.

x-x

Watch mother point to the word as she reads it.
I'm so glad she points instinctively.
Probably because she had to teach my elder siblings.
Remember the symbol.
Remember what Kaa-san called it.
Remember…

x-x

Walking… so much more fun than crawling!
I took Mito's brush…
I ran!
She only noticed as I waddled out of the room.
It was fun seeing her face as I turned the corner.
Her surprise and gaping mouth will always be remembered!
Kaa-san caught me, and I got tickled by Mito…
I love my family!

x-x

This symbol means fish.
This symbol means… I need.."Kaa-san! Weed!"

x-x

Mito was busy.
I hid her bush.
Today wasn't that fun…
Kaa-san gave her another!

x-x

Japanese is crazy!
Katakana, Hiragana, Kanji.
There are three different character systems!
They can be combined into each other…
The first two just have about a hundred symbols.
The third has tens of thousands!
I have lots of work…

x-x

Kaa-san bought a second story book!
I am happy…

x-x

Amaya is pranky…
She filled Kaa-san's cleaning water with dye...
My clothes went from white to pink...

x-x

There's a freaking kanji dictionary!
It doesn't have much, but there's enough for anything I want to read!
I stumbled upon it by accident…

x-x

"Mito!"
Two girls blink at me, before one squealed and the other gave a sad smile.
"She said my name! Kaa-san! She said my name!"
My ears hurt… I think I also made mother sad.
"Kaasa" My ears bled…
I swore myself off squealing…

x-x

Dictionaries are a godsend!
Not even two six months after turning a year old, and I have it memorized!
Another two had me finishing every book in the house…
Piecing together the kanji and meanings took forever!
If I didn't have a base, thanks to Kaa-san I'm certain I'd never have figured it out.
Kaa-san found me on my second to last one, wondering why I wasn't with Mito.
She finally clued in that I hadn't been with Mito like she thought I had been at this time of day.
Usually she's doing cleaning or laundry…
I went back to Mito the day after, having finally finished all the books.
I will repeat, a child's learning capacity is insane!

x-x

I love Mito…
She hums while she practices sealing.
She sings while she puts me to bed.
She hums as I play with her hair - something I found I liked very much.
She tickles me when I take her stuff… right in front of her, of course.
She hugs me more than Kaa-san… almost.

x-x

Amaya is always outside.
I only recently found out that she is practicing with chakra.
Mito only does morning exercise and afternoon sealing practice.
Amaya returns for chores and lunch.
Neither sister leaves together, but they both practice in the morning.
Neither sister studies together, but they both practice in the afternoon.
However, in the evening, mother teaches them things that I hadn't seen before.
I was put to bed early, always forcing me out of the sessions.
I barely heard her talking and teaching the two at night once.
I couldn't hear her words, but my sisters bathed and dressed nice.

x-x

The island is full of trees and rivers.
I had forgotten that we were on an island in the middle of the ocean.
This place is incredible.
There's no pollution.
There's no family discord.
There's no loud sounds.
This place is a paradise.
In hell...

x-x

Amaya is a tomboy…
She took me outside once, and all I saw her doing was climbing trees.
It took me a while to realize she was doing it with only her feet…
However, even dressed as a girl, she would only do the physical stuff.
I never saw her studying like mito.
Maybe she's just not old enough?
A boy came, and she challenged him to a race.
It looked like the two were good friends, and always challenged each other.
She left him in the dust! Well, she won by several seconds...
Then she slapped the depressed boy on the back with a smile.
Yea, she's definitely a tomboy…

x-x

I'm starting to understand a little of what Mito is doing.
Her sealing isn't simple at all!
She uses all three forms of writing language.
But she also uses symbols that I can't figure out!
Her work is incredible!
However, she doesn't activate anything inside.
She takes it out to a special testing area to activate them.
Without knowing what they do, I can't figure them out.
And my babble mouth can't pronounce my words correctly.
I stay quiet, observing and committing to memory her work.
She sometimes whispers theories off, pausing mid-work.
Her words are committed to memory too.
She's my favorite family.
I listen and watch carefully.
I lover her.

x-x

My eyes follow the soft glow of chakra covering my hand.
It's exhausting!
Only a few seconds, and I start breathing quicker…
The thick sky blue energy emits the faintest of glows at night.
Pulling the energy back inside, I feel relief wash over me!
Sighing contentedly, I smile.
I did it!
I manipulated my chakra!
I pushed that slippery stuff outside my body!
I lay down, and sit still, control my breathing, and feel around me…
I fall asleep.

x-x

Tou-san and Onii-san left in armor again…
I don't get to see them much.

x-x

Akuya is twelve.
Mito is ten.
Amaya is six.
I'm now two years old, since yesterday.
Again, there was no birthday celebration.
However, I've been included in my sister's activities.
I didn't have to do anything in the mornings.
I didn't have to exercise.
I didn't have to study.
"Come now Aira-chan. This is how you scrub properly."
Kaa-san is teaching me how to wash clothes...

x-x

Sitting still in the morning is hard!
Complete stillness is even harder!
Ever seen a child that didn't even twitch for a whole minute?
Ever seen an Uzumaki hold still for a whole minute?
Yea, we definitely have lots of energy!
Every morning I try until someone gets me.
Every evening I do the same, except while manipulating my inner chakra.
But sitting around at night, playing with this stuff, I almost feel it in my sleep!
I've found that there are two types inside me.
They both naturally merge, but on a small scale.\
I can forcefully merge them in what I assume is called 'molding'.
I was only playing with my naturally merging chakra, which is why I felt weak!
The base chakra required to live should not be messed with!
I need to keep all three with a minimum...
I think spiritual is from the nervous system, and physical is from muscle and stuff.
It's hard to tell…

x-x

"Remember, remove the grime."
"Hai Kaa-san."
Dirty dishes…
Same as always.
I noticed Kaa-san uses some type of rope thing to hold her kimono sleeves up.
It's interesting, but thankfully I don't need to.
I'm just wearing a baby yukata thingy with a tiny sash.
It shows my forearms and legs.
Obviously meant for children.

x-x

Amaya took me outside again.
She carried me on her shoulders while jumping through trees!It's far more fun than it looks!
I screamed and giggled the entire time!
Yes, sadly I giggled... I'm a baby!
And a girl…
Shoulder length hair tickles!
Especially when being blown by the wind.
Oh, and it's confirmed - I'm a redhead.
Surprise!

x-x

Feel the energy...
Feel the flow…
Feel where it connects…
Increase the flow…
Increase the merging speed slightly…
Maintain the merger speed...

x-x

"Mito-chan, how are you progressing?"
I jumped as mito looked up. "Kaa-san!"
"Hehe, sorry Aira-chan."
"Ah, I have the containment perfected, but the barrier isn't holding yet."
"Hmm~ Well, give it another week. If you haven't finished, I'll point you along."
Wait, Really?!
Mito… Is a freaking genius!
All those seals she was making?
Chakra containment and barrier seals?
Kaa-san! You just solved half my problem!
"Come now, Aira-chan. I need to show you how to clean the floor."
"Hai!"

x-x

Tou-san and Onii-san are home!
I run and hug them both.
Tou-san throws me in the air as I laugh.
Brother looks mortified when I try to undress him from the armor!
Hehe, maybe I took that too far… There was blood.
After realizing what it was, I just couldn't formulate words.
I just let Kaa-san pick me up and hold me as they conversed.
Reality came back full force in that instant.
This world is at war.
I need power to survive.

x-x

Stillness is nearly impossible!
But I'm progressing…
I can stay still for five minutes!
Okay, it's more like two…
But two is good!
It's progress!

x-x

"And this is how you roll the rice together, Aira-chan!"
Mother enthusiastically showed me her ways.
Actually, I was in awe.
Her food is delicious!
But it's looks like decoration!
Kaa-san's a master…

x-x

So many months of playing with my chakra as I go to sleep.
I'm practically dreaming of chakra as I speed it up through my system!
Honestly, I can't tell if I really am seeing my chakra as I sleep, or if it's just a dream.
I'm scared… not really!
If I could manipulate my chakra in my sleep, then I could detect danger!
Or something?
Instead of just playing with my natural chakra, I started molding some to mess with!
And it's stupidly fun to do!
Even if it's a lot of work, I'm starting to make shapes from it!

x-x

Remember what Kaa-san said when Onii-san came back last week.
Remember how Tous-san laughed at when I was escaping Amaya.
Remember Onii-san's lecture of proper tactics…
Remember…

x-x

Watching Mito almost daily has finally brought results!
I understand her current diagram!
Yes, diagram… Not a seal.
She drew an eight point diagram for a barrier.
She marked what each point needed.
She drew a ninth mark for chakra storage.
I think this barrier is complex.
At least I can understand most of the kanji now.

x-x

"Tou-sa! Kaa-sa! Looky!"
I held up a paper with a large kanji on it.
Unfortunately this paper already had writing…
Fortunately, I made sure it was scrap Mito threw away.
"Hoo~? Already trying to write, huh?"
"Uh huh!" I gave a wide smile!
"Hmm, lets get you some cheap paper, so you don't ruin your sister's work by accident."
My Tou-san heads out of the room, before coming back with a scroll, as per Kaa-san's words. He lays it down, and starts unraveling the material. It's a small scroll, but I can probably make it last. I wrote big on purpose…
Kaa-san lays down another scroll, and sits down on the other side of me.
"Alright Aira-chan, can you draw this for me?"
I practically throw myself in front of her.
"Hold on." I pause.
Kaa-san moves my legs around until they're under me, settling me into a seiza.
"Now, if you can stay like that, we'll draw."
Unlike I thought, it doesn't hurt!
Wonder why… my age probably?
My Tou-san smiles at the scene.

x-x

Remember Mito's last seal.
Remember Mito's biggest seal.
Remember Mito's strangest seal.
Remember Mito's smallest seal.
Remember…

x-x

Amaya left me on a tree branch…
She sat me down on a branch, and hopped down!
And now I'm stuck…
"Onee-chan! I get you when down!"
Despite only being a couple meters high...
I pouted… I was scared… I'm fragile!
"Hehe! Nuh uh! How are you going to get down, anyways?"
Yea, she likes to tease… I'm only half a meter above her, but stil…
I lean forward with a grin! "Catch!"
Her eyes widened in panic, but easily catches me!
However, "hah,ahahah, stooop!"
My baby fingers are ticklish~

x-x

Watch how she draws.
Watch her motions.
Watch each stroke.
Watch the order.
Watch mito...
Listen to her humming… sleepy~
No! Stay.. awake! ...zzz

x-x

Tou-san is leaving again…
Onii-san is leaving again…
This time I get hugs from both!
I almost never see either of them…
But I already know I love them!
Brother always flusters when I touch him…
He's a good brother…

x-x

Feel the flow…
Increase the flow…
Increase the merging...
Maintain the flow…

x-x

It's my third birthday!
Again, there's no celebration.
The day after, Amaya brings me on her morning runs!
But only every other day.
And only around the house a few times.
I hate running…

x-x

Feel the flow…
Vibrate the energy...

x-x

"Kaa-san, what do dis mean?"
Pointing at a kanji I wrote down from Mito's seals.
"It means 'influence' my little angel!"
She kissed my forehead.
I liked it. It happens often, but it makes me feel warm inside.

x-x

My body needs stillness.
Be still. Stay a tree.
Stay loose. Be a tree.
Feel around you. Like a tree.
Ignore the wind.
Feel the flow against your skin.
Ignore the misty chakra around you.
Feel the energy arox-x*twitch*
Agh! How did he learn this in a freaking week?!
And I still can't sit still for five measly minutes!
How can I concentrate on feeling it, if I can't stay still?!

x-x

Feel the flow…
Grind the energy...

x-x

"Aira-chan~ I have a gift for you!"
Blinking at this, I wandered over to Kaa-san.
I'd never received a gift before!
My excitement must have shown on my face, because she giggled at my quickening steps.
She pulled a small bundle of cloth out from behind her. Kneeling down, she smiled and handed it to me. Unlike my last life, Kaa-san has been teaching me to be 'gentle'. So I didn't speed open anything. I just pulled the ribbon softly, letting it unfold.
Kaa-san held it a certain way, and I could see my 'present'.
A silky white kimono with red leaves and pink sakura petals…
It's… pretty. But do I really want to wear it?
Either way, Kaa-san got it for me.
"Thank You Kaa-san!"
I dive in to hug her, before getting my head patted.
Basically, it's the difference of several pieces of cloth, fit to cover the whole body, against a single piece that's fit for everyday use.
I'm guessing she is allowing me to go out now?
From birth, I'd been wearing those short yukata things. They're for babies and toddlers, fit for getting dirty and stinky. The only thing underneath is a 'change cloth' which is used exactly for what it sounds like… diapers. *shudder* Yes I still wear diapers - thick cloth.
She's started weaning me off of the offensive things, but the process isn't quick. Controlling your bowels as a child is, hard.. and accidents happen. Especially at night! ew…

x-x

Feel the flow…
Harden the flow...

x-x

Short arms are a pain.
Being short is worse.
A short each means helplessness.I am short.
I hate being short.
I can't reach Onee-chan's Kunai…
Probably a good thing...

x-x

"Onee-san, what's this mean?"
I pointed at a symbol in her work.
She paused and looked at my tiny finger, following it.
"Ah, that means wall."
"Shouldn't it be a kanji?"
"No, while the kanji would have a similar result, there are different types of 'wall's'"
"So this means?"
"It's a strong wall. I'd need many kanji to get the same result as that symbol."
"Hnn~ I don't get it." Mostly because I know there's more to it...
"Hehe, don't worry. I'll teach you."
"Thank's Onee-san!"

x-x

Feel the flow…
Crumble the flow...

x-x

Tou-san and Onii-san are home.
Something happened that I knew would come.
Something that confirms my darkest nightmares.
Butsuma Senju died. Hashirama is now head of the Senju.
Apparently, Madara Uchiha was already clan head…
I now know my reality is… Hell, Stupid, Fake, A TV Show.
So many ways I could call it, but it's my reality now.
Hugging my Onii-chan, I tell the two men 'welcome home'.

x-x

Feel the flow…
Heat the flow...

x-x

It's unbelievable, the situation I'm in…
I'm dressed in that pretty Kimono Kaa-san got me.
And we aren't leaving the house...
"Come Aira-chan, now watch."
Kaa-san moves into the serving room.
A table in the middle, with Tou-san and Onii-san sitting there.
I follow her, mimicking her movements as best I can.
The embarrassing situation of being a serving girl…
Even if it's only for my own family.
Elegant and graceful, my mother's movements move like water.
We move and sit at the side, head bowed slightly.
I want to scream and yell that we shouldn't be bowing to others!
Even if they are family! Even if they are warriors! Even if they are shinobi!
I bite my tongue, holding it in.
The men are sitting gracefully, awaiting mother.
She uses two hands to lift the tea, pouring it in a most feminine manner.
A manner she expects me to watch and remember…
I'm too small to lift the tea properly, but I can watch.
Tou-san accepts, warmly smiling towards me.
Embarrassment. Shame. Humiliation.
My red face is almost all I can feel.
Mother moves her kimono sleeve over her mouth and laughs at my expression...

x-x

Feel the flow…
Enlarge the flow…
Maintain the flow…
Remember the increase...
Combine the energy...
Gather the chakra…
Surround my right hand..
Surround my left hand..

x-x

"Kaa-san, why doesn't Mito-onee-san help Onii-san and Tou-san?
Mother looks up from chopping vegetables, giving me her full attention, smiling.
She never stops smiling. I like it…
"Aira-chan, the men go to battle, while we protect our home."
Wait, what?
"Women don't participate in war.
The men lead and fight to protect us, while we take care of our warriors and children."
"But, Onee-san and Onee-chan are learning to fight!"
"Ah, but Airi-chan, we can't protect our home if we can't fight."
"Ah~" It almost feels like I was slapped with an answer to a dumb question.
She had already answered that. Luckily I'm a child…
"This might not be the case for other clans, like the Uchiha, or Hyuuga.
But the Uzumaki and Senju have little against it.
So we pass down our knowledge and skills.
Though, since women have no need to fight, we don't train much."

She explains several things.
Tou-san is the house leader, making big decisions and stuff.
Then Kaa-san, unless Tou-san dies, then it's Onii-san.
Basically, the eldest male, then the parents, then the eldest warrior to youngest child.
She doesn't explain it in such simple terms.. but that's the gist.
In other words, males rule, women serve.
They go to battle, we birth children.
I can give birth… crap.

x-x

Stay still...
Ignore the lights…
The lights that get bigger, brighter, more powerful each time.
Ignore the feeling of their chakra…
Block out all the noise.
Stay still…
Feel the calmness.
Feel the air.
Feel everything…

x-x

"Onee-chan! Piggyback!"
I Caught my sister as she headed out for daily shopping.
"Hai hai" She bent down and let me on."
It didn't take long before the two of us made it to the market.
A small highrise city that was separated from our house by a forest and mountain…
We were only on the edge, however.
Tree hopping sure is nice~
Walking through the streets, I could find many redheads…
We were surrounded by them!
The few that weren't, I think are traveling merchants.
Honestly, I think the ninja avoid the city, and only civilian Uzumaki live here.
"Oh! Amaya-hime! Here, here, I have a special on fish today!"
Looking over, I saw a old little granny with a fish stand.
"Aww~ Who's the little darling on your shoulders?"
I couldn't help but pout, I mean show childish reactions because of my child body, at her words.
"I'm Uzumaki Aira! And I'm not lil!"
..Yea, I know I am… I just don't like it!
"Hehe, I think I'll add in another fish for the little Hime!"
My lip stuck out at that… I don't like being called little…
And being a child again certainly gives you a child's emotions…
I hate it!

x-x

Math…
Memorization…
Theorizing…
Reading…
A monotonous repetition of each, every time I'm bored or have to wait.
It's tiresome. But the results are phenomenal!

x-x

I'm four years old.
Again, the only change difference is in my schedule the day after.
I'm taken running by Amaya in the mornings.
Not a short jog. Not around the house.
We go around the whole mountain...
She drags me back with lead feet.
Luckily, washing clothes only requires my arms.
Which makes my arms feel similarly afterwards…
Kaa-san has started me on sealing.
I won't hold back!

x-x

Stay Still~
Breathe~
Feel~
Breathe~
Ignore~
Breathe~
It's there… *twitch*
...Crap. So close!

x-x

"Onii-san! I wanna leawn how to use your sword!"
He blinks at my declaration, before shaking his head.
"Sorry, nee-chan. You have to wait another year.
Besides, you'll be learning the Kaiken."
What's that?

x-x

Follow the flow.
Alter the flow.
Control the chakra.
Decompress the chakra.
Release control and feel the change…
Control the chakra.
Compress the chakra.
Maintain the density.
Let it flow.

x-x

"Okay, now try yourself."
"Hai, Kaa-san."
Pulling the extra material up, tie the belt.
Then I tie the next belt over it to hold the excess material down.
The last, the obi, I try and fail miserably…
"It's okay, here, I'll show you again."
Putting on a kimono is… troublesome.
This is my second one, and even more feminine!
"There, my dear Aira-chan, you look adorable!"
And my mother's going to.. hug. me. Sigh~
It's okay, though. I like her hugs.
"Now, let us move on for your calligraphy lessons."
Did I say I was working on sealing? I lied…

x-x

"Put! Me! Down!"
"Or what, runt?"
"Or! Or!"
Thinking quickly, I came to something.
"Hehe. It's better if I don't tell…"
My evil little smirk came out.
She paled and quickly put me down.
I so love Amaya.
But a prank target, is still a prank target.
And itching powder in your clothes would be torture…
"Please don't!" She pleaded.
Pouting, I murmured an unsatisfied 'fine'.
She sighed in relief.

x-x

Breathe~
Feel~
There…
That's it…
Stay still.
Remain calm.
Keep feeling the energy.
Maintain the connection.
The pure natural essence.
Hold onto the feeling.
Remember the feeling...

x-x

*Huff*Huff*Huff*
How, does, she, do, this!
"Onee-chahhn! *Huff* Hehlp~"
I collapse… My legs won't move.
Waking up in bed, It takes me a while to figure out why.

x-x

Kaa-san is pregnant!
I repeat.
Kaa-san. Is. Pregnant!
I get a little sibling!
Kaa-san is making me a big sister!

x-x

Falling asleep while I manipulate my chakra.
This is something I've been doing since I learned it existed.
But this is the first time I see morning light doing so…
I fell asleep. I know I did. I can feel it!
Yet, I was manipulating my chakra all night!
Those dreams I had. They weren't dreams.
I was actually exploring my chakra as I kept sleeping.
Searching every bit of my body.
Finding every little secret I could!
Only now do I realize I haven't had a dream in years!
I haven't slept in years…
Almost makes me feel sad.

x-x

"Now, Aira-chan. What you do, is take a little bit of hair and press the blade, like so."
I watch as Kaa-san cuts my hair.
She's showing me this time.
Unlike my Onee-san who ties her hair up in ball-like things, Kaa-san takes care of mine.
Unlike my Onee-chan who grows her hair really long, I've always had mine cut.
I'm really glad I hadn't had to do anything about my hair.
My only complaint is that it's getting too long…
And yet, it's actually easier to manage now that it's almost down to my waist!
Hair is confusing...
Girls are confusing…
And I'm a girl!
She cuts it between my eyebrows and eyes.
From the outside edge of one eye to exact opposite of the other.
The next bit on each side is cut at shoulder height for a short finger length.
All the rest is let down to middle of my back.
Kaa-san's skill is admired…

x-x

I have an idea.
In order to live, I need strength.
To gain strength, I need more than just myself.
But I can't rely on my clan. They were wiped out once.
Their massacre happens decades from now.
I can't get strong, and survive with that strength for that long.
Yet, to keep strong enough to save these people, I need to.
I need a form of immortality.
A form that isn't disgusting.
A form that is pleasant, and permanent.
A form I would enjoy.
I have fuuinjutsu at my fingertips.
I have knowledge of advanced science.
I have the chakra capacity to activate a powerful seal.
I have everything I need at my fingertips…

x-x

"Kaa-san! I need more paper!"
She smiles at me, before walking into the storage room.
It's full of highly advanced seals…
I can't get in, and it frustrates me!
There's not even a door!
Kaa-san walks out with a scroll.
I finally have enough skill to write.
And I have the perfect project to help tidy my writing.
Even if it's not sealing...

x-x

Feel the flow…
Manipulate the flow…
Vibrate the flow…
Crumble the flow…
Grind the flow…
Sway the flow…
Heat the flow…
Keep them separated…
Maintain… No! R-Release!
Way Too Close!
Can't let them touch...

x-x

Write a few diary entries at the start of the scroll.
Remember... Write to Remember…
Write from the end of the scroll backwards.
'Senju Hashirama - Asura - Mokuton -'
'Uchiha Madara - Indra - Eternal Mangekyo -'
'Sarutobi Hiruzen - Monkey - Professor - Ele-'
'Shimura Danzo -'
'Hatake Sakumo - White Fa-'
'Jiraiya - Tsunade - Orochimaru'
'Uchiha -'
'Uzumaki -'

So glad I can write in my original language here…
It's the ultimate code!
Hopefully nobody else from my world has been here.
And the easiest way to hide something is in plain sight!
Create a diary scroll, use the end to write and preserve memories.
And write down a little about each week to avoid suspicion from curious eyes!
My genius is unparalleled!
..Okay, I got it from a show.

x-x

I've found a new harsh reality.
Mito is engaged.
I don't know how or when, but it's been like this for years.
Nobody told me… though I already knew it would happen.
It isn't supposed to happen for a few years yet, but it will.
Supposedly it's supposed to rekindle our Senju alliance.
The first time I heard her cry was when I heard this.

x-x

I was right - men rule this culture.
Women are to be submissive, faithful, and obedient - subservient.
We are to stand behind their husbands.
We are to stay quiet as men talk.
We are to bow their heads as they serve.
We are to follow the house head's orders.
I didn't know any of this before, even if it's being acted in front of me daily.
It just seemed as if their natural behaviour, rather than a custom!
My parents always get along so well. But that's not the case for all.
And my sister may not want to do this - but she must.
We cannot escape without running away and being hunted down.
Our only way out is suicide. But that's not a real escape.
I wasn't told of these, but they're the obvious outcomes to avoid it.

x-x

What gets me, is that the marriage proposal should have happened upon founding Konoha.
However, the contract is technically void, since the Senju head died.
Basically, our father, the Uzumaki Clan Head, is going to ensure the alliance happens.
The Senju have not mentioned it, but father has made it clear.
I don't know what sparked the conversation.
Being a hug pillow for a crying sister is oddly satisfying, despite feeling terrible…
I love mito, I don't want her hurt.
But this makes me think - will he marry Amaya off?
Will he marry me off?
He will…

Being a girl wasn't so bad before.
Now I cry with Mito...

x-x

Remember the hand seals.
I've certainly seen them enough times...

'Saru - Tatsu - ne - Tori - Mi - Ushi
Inu - Uma - Tora - I - Hitsuji - U'

Remember the specialized seals.
Draw each hand seal.
Remember each seal sequence.

'Dog - Boar - Ram' - Transformation
-kawarimi… -Shunshin… -Kage-bunshin

Remember, Record, Familiarize...

x-x

Feel the flow…
Expand the flow…
Maintain the flow..
Manipulate the flow…
I may not be able to train.
But it wears me out, both mentally and physically!
I can at least expand my reserves!
Probably not as well as doing actual exercise, but it's enough.
And it's good chakra control and manipulation practice…

x-x

Five years.
I can't believe I've been here that long.
My father is a fun, but serious man. I can respect him, mostly.
My mother is a loving, caring, and beautiful woman. I adore her.
My older brother is bashful, but proud. He can't handle female attention...
My oldest sister is serious, but warm. She makes me melt~…
My second sister is playful and boyish. I prank her!
My newest sibling is still in the bun…
I love my family.

x-x

No more cloth diaper!
The difference is that we don't wear underwear now.
Apparently, there isn't a need for such 'extras'…
Still, nothing is better than cloth diapers.
But I still feel weird.. the breeze down there is just…
And I'm to wear my kimono more.
Unless there's a possibility of getting dirty, I don't need the short yukata.

x-x

I am to -
wear yukata or kimono proper
serve tou-san and onii-san
do household chores
cook dinner with my sisters
sew tears and cloth
start learning about chakra
learn seal theories from onee-san
copy basic stances from onee-chan
be taught dance forms from kaa-san

And I think someone mentioned a kaiken?

I have a lot to do and learn…


My christmas release!

Okay, so it's a new type of story I wanted to try out.
I'd written half a dozen different versions of my first story, but none of them just.. clicked.
I'm actually a little disappointed in it anyways, but it was my first attempt at something.
It was truthfully supposed to be about 400k-500k words total with four or five parts.
Writers block is just… terrible! I do have several chapters done for it, but I kind of… yea.
I may or may not continue it.

We'll see how this one ends up.
It should have at least three parts.
Don't know length though.

Constructive input would be greatly appreciated for this story.
Each chapter is at least 5k words so far.

Right now I'm questioning gender roles for the genderless Bijuu.
Should I make this AU? Or the modeled after the actual manga?

Thank you for putting up with my selfishness.
Oh, and for reading!