So I watched 'The Ugly Truth' for the umpteenth time today, and apparently when you reach a certain level of trash-ness.. you see DARVEY everywhere. Like everywhere.. so this fic happened based on the movie.. it was all written in whatsapp, so those that have seen it. Thanks for encouraging me to continue, and ask me to put it together.. So here it is.. I hope you like it and maybe leave a review.
He knows he cares about her, he knows he'd do anything to make her happy. It's all he wants, for her to be happy. He just doesn't connect the dots. Because it isn't up to him to decide what that means, that's what she said to him, so he's sure it's a two way street.
If you would have asked him if he was jealous he'd deny it. But deep down he was, deep down his heart crumbled when he heard her talk about some guy to Rachel. Even though he wants nothing more than for her to be happy, even if that means it's not with him.
She smiles as she thinks about him, she's only seen him twice. Mitchell. The guy that moved into her apartment building, but she never had a real conversation with him, not really. She just knows something is different about this guy and she can't put it into words. But deep down she's scared, because on paper this would be the one. The one that has everything she ever wanted, the one that ticks every box of her checklist. The one that would make her move on from Harvey for once and for all.
So she's scared, scared to make a move and scared to not do anything at all and Harvey knows something is up. He just knows, but he doesn't dare to say what needs to be said or ask what he really should ask. Instead he walks to her desk, a thin smile on his lips as he whispers, "I heard you met someone?"
She looks at him, his words only confirming what she thought. That it's time to move on, but she can't pronounce the words. Not yet, so she just nods. He looks at her then, swallowing and he wants to go. But he also notices how her smile didn't reach her eyes. "Is everything okay?" he asks her.
She looks at him, "yeah ... It's just.. " she pauses for a second closing her eyes for a second, "maybe I'm too old for this.. Maybe I… I don't know how you do it.. All those girls all the time, and I just.. I just want one, but.." He swallows, her words some sort of personal attack, but nothing but the truth. He doesn't know why he says it, but he knows it must have something to do with wanting to see here happy. "I could help you," he offers.
"You..," she scoffs off, "you're going to help me get with this man.." She shakes her head, it's the weirdest suggestion he's ever given her. "I would.. If you wanted to..." It's her time to swallow now, "Harvey.. I don't know," she answers mumbling. "I would," he repeats, "if that would make you happy."
She lets out a laugh, looking away. "Harvey Reginald Specter, what do you know about love?" she teases him, but there's a truth in her question. A question that's she's been asking herself for over the past decade.
"Not enough," he answers, as he lets his head hang down. "Donna.. I'm not a man of feelings, let alone expressing them.. But I do know how men think and maybe .. I just want to help." She lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Fine," she mumbles and she tries really hard to not think anything of this.
He lets out a breath, he isn't sure why he's doing this. What he's even going to tell her, because what does he know, but he just wants to make sure she's happy. In any way possible, and maybe his way of helping is explaining how or why he never made a move. Without explicitly saying so.
"Okay," he mumbles avoiding her eyes, his hand falling around the cup of coffee in front of him, "so uhm men don't like critique." "Ooh please," she counters, "what if it's constructive. Like that awful tie you wore the other day," she smiles.
"Donna," he breathes, "see…" "What? You thanked me for that," she replies raising her shoulders. "I did, but that's because-" he's unable to finish his sentence. "Because what?" she interrupts then. "Never mind," he cuts her off now," it's just I.. uhm, men are not good with change, growth or progress." She swallows, avoiding his gaze as she looks at her drink.
"Second rule," he continues, "always laugh at what a man says. Even if he makes a stupid comment about your hair being the same colour as Ariel from the Little Mermaid." She lets out a quick laugh, biting her tongue and trying to hide her smile. She can't help but think he just complimented her, something he never did before. "Exactly," he comments looking at her, as thin smile on his lips, but he doesn't dare to ask her if it was an act or a genuine smile. Somewhere along all those years he should have learned to hear or see the difference, but her smile had always been too distracting.
"Rule three," he continues then raising three fingers, "a man never really listen. So no talking about your problems." "Harv, come on," she questions him. "I'm serious.. They won't remember if you tell them about that play you went to last week or how you really want to have those heels you've been looking at all week." She shakes her head, not commenting on how contradicting his words were, but maybe that's because they're friends, nothing more, she reminds herself.
"Talking about shoes," he continues, "you should always look top notch." "I always look amazing," she fires back, her hand leaving a playful slap on his forearm, and he nods pressing his lips in a smile again. "I know, but we can still get you a new outfit. It's on me."
He takes her shopping, something he's never done before, but if he has to admit he's always wanted to do so. She picks out some dresses, trying them on and showing them, but it isn't really what he was looking for, or the image he imagines this Mitchell guy to see for their first date. Because even if it pains him, he wants it to be perfect for her.
He shakes his head again as she comes out in another dress. "That's not the one," he tells her walking towards her, a dress in his hands. "Donna," he mumbles again, his eyes meeting hers for a quick second, "you look great, there's no reason not to show it off," he tells her handing her the blue dress. She feels her cheeks turn red, letting her head hand down to cover her face with her auburn locks. It's the second time he's complimented her today, but friends give each other compliments, don't they?
She returns is the dress he picked out and it hugs her every curve. She stares at her own reflection in the mirror, she hates to admit it, but she's never looked so good. She lets out a breath before she faces him and she's not sure if she really saw it or if it were suppressed wishes that made her imagine the way his mouth dropped when he saw her, the way his gaze followed her curves, how his lips curled up in a smile. But if it was just her imagination she wouldn't feel his eyes burn on her skin, wouldn't she?
She does as he told her and her date with Mitchell is perfect. Anything she imagined it to be and the next day she returns to the firm with a huge grin on her face. And he really wants to be happy for her, but somehow he can't. Her smile making his disappear, and he kicks himself for helping her. Struggling with feelings he can't place, he just wants her to be happy.
"Looks like your date went well?" he asks as he stops in front of her cubicle and she nods. "Yes," she smiles at him, "thank you, Harvey."
Day after day he sees her happy, but that sight doesn't make him as happy as he thought it would. As he hoped it would, and it gets even worse when he sees a huge bouquet of flowers being delivered to her desk. Why haven't I ever bought her flowers? The thought comes as fast as it goes again, but there's something going on inside him, a feeling he can't seem to shake.
Jessica shakes her head as she sees the entire situation play out in front of her, wondering how an Harvard educated lawyer could be so oblivious of what's right in front of him. What has been right in front of him for the past twelve years. Literally even.
"Donna," she greets the secretary. "Someone finally manned up?" she comments pointing towards the flowers. "What?" Donna answers, her eyes finding Harvey's for just the slightest of a second. "The flowers," Jessica repeats as she can feel Harvey's eyes throwing daggers at her, but as long as he's unable to connect the dots, she'll continue to spell it out for him.
"Mitchell," Donna smiles, the word making Jessica sigh. "Is it serious?" she ask then. Serious, Donna repeats the word in her head, slightly looking to the left. But this time she doesn't fully meet his eye. "I don't know, could be," she answers, a smile on her lips, but not as genuine as it had been before.
Jessica nods and enters Harvey's office. "Harvey," she greets him and he purely nods at the older woman in the room. He sees the look in her eye and he knows the questions that will follow, his finger pressing the button of the intercom, turning it off before whatever is to come came. "Are you happy?" Jessica asks him and he frowns. His boss had never asked him that before. "Yes," he lies.
"Harvey, seriously, are you happy?" the managing partner asks again.
He swallows. "I just want her to be happy," he mumbles back, not looking at the managing partner anymore, but staring out of the window. "Do you really think you don't deserve to be happy then?"
"I .. I just.." Jessica shakes her head, "you just want her to be happy, but are you really sure she is?"
He nods, "yes," he tells her, "that's what she told me," he answers as he recalls how she told him she was going to go away for a weekend with Mitchell, "Anything else?" Jessica lets out a breath. "Never mind then, don't forget about the conference this weekend." "I won't," he answers holding the pen in his hand, his eyes still focused on the Manhattan skyline, "bye Jessica."
He walks around in his apartment again, alone. As all he can think about is her. The way she smiled, the way she looked, how much fun they once used to have. 'Is she really happy?' he hears Jessica's voice again. His eyes focus on his kitchen, the stupid cactus in the corner he's been looking after so carefully. And he sighs, the image of her walking around in his apartment flashing by. His eyes now focusing on the date on the newspaper, it Thursday.
Only two days till the conference, but all he can think about is how it's two days till her big date. The one she's been waiting for, the one where she was going to sleep with Mitchell for the first time. He doesn't really know why she told him, if it was just her enthusiasm when she told him about her date as a friend or her rubbing it in his face. All he knows is that he can't face her tomorrow, making the decision to leave for Miami that night.
She looks to her right, letting out a sigh as she sees he's not there and it's already ten in the morning. He's never been this late. Her feet carry her to Jessica's office. She doesn't greet the managing partner, she just asks, "Where's Harvey?"
Jessica doesn't answer, but slowly lifts her head to face the redheaded woman. "We have a problem," she states then and Donna feels her breath falter for a second. "What happened?" she asks immediately, "where's Harvey?"
"He's in Miami," Jessica tells her, "but that's not the problem. He's been offered a job a Bratton & Gould and -" "You need me to convince him, so he won't take the job," Donna answers, it's more of a statement then a question, but Jessica nods.
"I need you to go to Miami and convince him," Jessica tells him. Donna hesitates for a moment, her big date is supposed to be this weekend, but this is Harvey. "Okay," she answers.
He turns to his right, his eyes scanning the lobby as he spots a redhead in the distance, his heart skipping a beat in the process and he just stares at her.
She feels someone look in her direction, look at her more precisely. It's that look that makes her skin burn and it can only be one person that's looking at her that way.
She turns around slowly, a smile growing on her lips as she sees how his lips are slightly parted, how maybe for the first time he's really looking at her. Her eyes meet his then, her smile growing as she sees him come closer. Step by step his face becomes more defined until he's so close all she can do is look at his lips.
"Donna," he greets her, his husky voice making her snap out of her thoughts. Inappropriate thoughts, because she should be having sex right now. Just with another man than she just pictured. "Harvey," she mumbles, offering a smile as she looks away again.
"Why are you here?" he asks, "I thought you had your big date." She swallows, "yeah, I could have been having sex right now," she voices her thoughts without realizing it, and he just swallows as he notices the sadness in her voice. "Jessica," she says in the end, not willing to tell him about the job offer he's about to get.
She helps him prepare for the conference later that day and for once she studies him closely, every single move he makes. Every single muscle he uses, the way his face changes from expression to expression. The way his eyes seem to sparkle when his eyes meet hers, but she just swallows. Wanting to memorize every single detail of this moment. Maybe their last moment together.
He enters the restaurant, his eyes immediately scanning for the redhead and the pace in his step increases when he sees her. He offers her a smile as he seats himself on the chair on the other side of the table. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "Why?" she whispers, taking a sip from her drink. He wants to say something about interrupting her date, but he doesn't. Not with those exact words. "That work disturbed your personal life once more," he offers her.
She closes her eyes, not answering to his statement, because she knows that this weren't just random words. These words were carefully chosen and they definitely didn't just relate to this particular moment.
He orders both of them another glass of scotch and he looks at her then. "Are you happy?" he mumbles. She looks at him, letting out a small sigh and as much as she wants to say yes, the word just doesn't leave her lips. Especially not now that his hand covers hers, he doesn't say anything else.
"Donna," he mumbles again, his fingers just scraping past her hand as he takes it back, "why are you really here?" "Jessica-" she answers. "Is this about the job offer?" he mumbles then, "because I know."
"You knew?" she whispers, the question she wants to ask not leaving her lips. "I did, because I told them no," answering the question he knew she wanted to ask. "You.. Why? They offer so much more.."
You, his mind screams you. "Pearson Specter Litt is family, Donna.. I can't.." his words making her smile, "but enough about work.. I really am sorry about this ruining your night.. So I'm gonna make sure you'll have fun anyway," he tells her as he gets of his chair, offering his hand. "Harvey," she whispers, "what are you doing?" he hand moving faster than her words as she's already holding his hand.
He pulls her hand, making her follow him as they walk towards some bar. He doesn't know why and neither does she, but they didn't let go. Neither of them, as they walk through the lobby of their hotel to the bar down stairs. Hand in hand.
It's not like he planned it, but in some way it looks like that place they first met and he can't help but notice that the effect she had on him all those years ago is still there.
His hand finally leaves hers, immediately missing the warmth of her skin, but deep down he knows it's more. He misses her when she's not around, even when she's so close.
He orders another scotch and she drinks a Manhattan this time, the conversation never getting dull, no silence feeling awkward. Maybe it were the drinks they had, the cocktails and beers, followed by that round of awful shots. He'd nearly choked on air as he heard her order two orgasmus.
Her mischievous smile as she handed him the shot glass making him stare at her once more. Maybe it wasn't the alcohol, maybe it was the upbeat salsa music playing, maybe it was the lighting in the bar that made her hair glow, maybe it was the way his eyes were drawn to her lips, or the summer dress she was wearing, but he extended his hand once more, dragging her on the dance floor.
He turns her around, making her twist until she lands in his arms. Their bodies nearly completely touching, as they dance like they've never danced before. She's close, her hands are around his neck, his arms and his torso, his around her waist, lingering dangerously low, but neither of them stops.
He spins her around, pulling her back again and this time her back is presses against his front. Their hips are moving in the same pace, following the music as his nose is buried in her hair. The scent of vanilla intoxicating him, his fingers moving down her sides as she covers his hands with hers.
Moving both their arms up above their heads, until she bends her own backwards. Her fingers playing with his hair, and his hands move down her arms, from her wrist to her elbows, down her shoulders, as she giggles.
"Nobody puts baby in a corner," he teases her as he refers to that one scene form dirty dancing. His words making her laugh again, and she moves a bit, his hands now accidentally moving down the sides of her breasts. The movement making her throw back her head, her lips nearly moaning his name. He holds her at her waist again, their hips still swaying to the music as he fights the urge to place kisses in her neck.
He's swirling her around again, making them dancing face to face again until he dips her. She lets out one of those laughs that warms his entire heart, before he makes her face him again, her arms falling on his shoulders, his eyes locking with hers, both of their lips slightly parted.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles then as she comes to her senses again. Immediately taking a step back as he lets her go. "We have an early flight tomorrow morning.. We should go.." she mumbles as she starts walking.
He lets out a sigh, but follows her anyway. His hand moving through his hair, unsure of what to do. What to say, he just waits for the elevator to arrive.
"So," he mumbles. "Yeah," she answers as she's afraid to look him in the eye, "So uhm.. The car will pick us up at 9 tomorrow morning.. Do you need me to call you?" He swallows, "no.. No it's okay." "Okay," she mumbles her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her dress, her head popping up as she hears the elevator ding again.
"Uhm," he mumbles, "this is my floor.." he signals as he takes a step to the door.
"Harvey," she calls him, her hand reaching for his arm. "Yes," he mumbles looking at her again. "Thank you," she whispers as she wraps her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she whispers again, placing a kiss on his cheek as she lets him go.
He smiles taking a step back. "Harv.." she mumbles so softly, but he was still looking at her, absentmindedly licking his lips as his feet take two steps toward her. His hand caressing her cheek as he pulls her closer, his lips crashing on hers and she kisses him back, her arms falling around his neck as she turns him around. He's in the process of lifting her up and pinning her against the door, as they stop the elevator door for the umpteenth time, causing the alarm to go off.
Both of them pulling back and she looks away again. "I'm sorry," she mumbles as she takes a step back in the elevator, leaving him on behind on his floor as the doors close again. The elevator moving up and separating them.
He's still in awe, his heart beating out of his chest as he can't believe that just happened again. That he just kissed Donna again. His fingers directly pressing the button of the elevator again.
She stumbles inside her suite. Kicking of her heels, as her fingers trace her own lips, she can still feel him. Still taste him, and he heart skips a beat as she hears a knock on her door. Harvey, it's the first thing that comes to mind, her lips already curling up as she walks back to the door, but her smiles quickly fades away, being replaced by a fake one as she sees Mitchell in front of her.
"Mitchell?" she mumbles. "Hey," he whispers as he kisses her. Showing her the bottle of wine he brought along as he enters her room. "Since you couldn't come with me this weekend, I thought I'd come to you," he tells her as he sits down on the couch. And she lets herself fall down next to him, still in shock of what had just happened.
He tries to open the bottle but it spills all over his shirt. "Whoops," he exclaims looking at her, "looks like we have to get undressed sooner than I thought." She swallows, letting out a nervous laugh and she gets up from the couch as soon as she sees him undo the buttons of his shirt, "let me get you a towel," she mumbles as she runs of.
"Donna.. I really want to kiss you again.. And not just now or tonight, but always," Harvey mumbles out loud as he paces through the hallway of her floor. Still intoxicated by the alcohol, but mostly by her. It's always been her. "Fuck what am I doing.."
He lets out a breath, taking another step towards her door and he knocks, his eyes popping open as he sees a shirtless Mitchell standing in front of him.
"You're not room service," Mitchell jokes as he extends his hand. "How are you doing man?"
Harvey swallows trying to cover his shock. "I ... Uhm.. I just came to tell Donna about the change in our flight time, but I can tell her later," he improvises as Donna appears in the door opening behind Mitchell.
"Harvey," she mumbles, "what are you doing here?" "I'm just leaving," he shakes his head as he turns around and walks away.
Donna pushes Mitchell back inside as she mumbles something about work, before she runs back towards the hallway. "Harv.." But he keeps walking, until she finally catches up with him. "He just showed up to surprise me," she explains and apologetic look on her face.
"How convenient," he mumbles avoiding her look. "I thought it was you at the door," she confesses, I wanted it to be you at the door. "I guess it doesn't really matter..," he mumbles.
"Harv, wait" she whispers again her eyes locking with his, "tell me what just happened in the elevator?" but he remains silent. "Should I tell Mitchell to go?" she asks then.
But Harvey just looks away, "why would you, you worked so hard to get him here," he tells her. Still just wanting her to be happy. "Really?" she exclaims "really? That's all you've got to say?"
"What else do you want me to say, Donna?" he asks, burying his hands in the pocket of his pants, but she doesn't answer and he doesn't add anything else. He just shrugs as she doesn't answer, walking away again.
Donna returns to her room, facing a still shirtless Mitchell. She stares at his smile, finding it stupid at once. "Why do you even like me?" she asks then. He moves his hand through his hair. "Well, you're beautiful and smart.. You're spontaneous, you're laugh at my jokes and you never criticize which to be honest is refreshing for once.."
Donna just listens as her smile fades with every word that leaves his lips.
"And you're so relaxed. You never try to plan things a head.. You're not trying to control things,"
This time she lets out a nervous laugh, one of those earlier conversations with Harvey coming to mind. How he told her how to act, but warned her later that even though that might make a man interested, that she wasn't really herself. 'You're making him fall for this version of Donna I advised you to be, not the version of Donna I… Not who you really are.'
"You know what," she answers Mitchell then, "I am like that. I plan, I control, I fix and I give my opinion. I do, because I know, because I'm Donna and .." but she doesn't finish her sentence, she just leaves him alone as she walks out of the room. Only turning back to the lobby when she realizes she doesn't even know the room number of Harvey's room. She doesn't go to Harvey's room, she doesn't go back to hers either.
She just gets to the plane first thing the next morning, her feet carrying her to his office one she steps inside the firm. Only to find it empty once more, just like before the weekend.
"Donna," Jessica greets her. "Where's Harvey?" the redhead mumbles. "He's at Bratton & Gould, said he needed an immediate change," Jessica mumbles and she already knows what must have happened. "Ooh," Donna whispers her head hanging low.
She impatiently taps her feet at the floor of the elevator, waiting for it to reach his floor. Her fist banging against his wooden door, but he doesn't answer. "Donna, just go," is all she hears. And she lets out a sigh, her fingers reaching for his key. The one she always had with her. She slams the door behind her, making him look up as she storms towards him.
"Why are you here Donna?" he questions her. "You quit!" she exclaims, facing him as she pushes her hands down. "So… That's none of your concern," he counters, clenching his jaw. "None of my concern, you're my freaking boss. How couldn't this be my concern. Didn't I deserve to know?!"
"Donna," he breathes. "Ooh you're just like any other guy. Braking promise after promise. And I know why!" she shouts at him. "Really?" he fires back.
"Men are afraid. Men are afraid to say what they feel. Afraid to grow up, afraid to tell the truth.." she pauses for a second, "even when there's this moment in a freaking hotel elevator. A moment that's romantic and full of potential, you're completely incapable of copping to it. Maybe caring really did make you weak."
"Really!" he exclaims again, her last words feeling like a punch in his stomach, "cause let me tell you something about women then. Women say they want romance, they want true love. But all they want is a checklist. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he rich?"
Donna just stares at him, "that's not true.."
"They want a list and when that list somehow represents itself, maybe in a different way than they expected they get just as scared. They push you away, they make up rules. Just to ignore it, to deny what is there."
"No.. How can you say I'm the one that's afraid, when you made that rule?" he asks her then, his face only inches apart from hers. "I.. You never gave me a reason to wave it," she mumbles then.
"How could I have known you wanted me to make a move if you keep reminding me of that goddamn rule. Would a gesture have made a difference?" he rages on. "Says the man who's never made a gesture in his life."
"Really!" he shots back, "really? How about the I can't be me without you. How about me telling Louis you're the one thing I can't give him?!"
"That's work and this…" she mumbles.
"So the elevator wasn't a gesture?" he fires back, making her look away. "The elevator was a moment of passion," she reasons, "followed by a moment of panic. On your part."
"I came to your room!" he argues.
"And then you ran away!"
"That wasn't panic, Donna!" he fires back, "It was unwillingness to compete with that semi naked dude in your room." She lets out a sigh as she presses her jaws together. "That's bullshit! I asked you-" she fires back, but she stops as she sees him walk away. "Ooh, what a shock. You're bailing out again."
"I don't have to stay and listen to you telling me how much fun you and Mitchell had having sex in Miami," he mumbles as he places his hands on the kitchen counter.
"I broke up with Mitchell in Miami."
"What?" he mumble now, his head crooked and unknowingly he's giving her that look. She lets out a laugh. "Ooh that got your interest? If you think we're going to pick up where we left in Miami, you're out of your mind. You had your chance."
"I never had a chance with you, Donna," he sighs then, letting his head hang down.
"You did," she counters, "in that one moment I obviously lost judgment and thought you might actually be different. That you had changed, but you're you. So of course you haven't," she adds, her voice shaking. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asks then, confused.
"I'm Harvey Specter," she impersonates him, "I'm the best closer this city has ever seen. I like girls and I sleep around. I just want sex, and I don't want to fall in love.. Because that's scary."
"Yes," he fires back, his hands in the air. "It's scary. It's fucking terrifying. Especially because I'm in love with a control freak like you."
"Donna," he cuts her off taking a step towards her, "I just said I'm in love with you and you ignore it. Like you ignore any of my 'gestures' because you're not in control at those moments. You're the freaking definition of a control freak."
She shakes her head, "the definition of control freak is a person.."
"Donna," he interrupts her again, this time his hands on her arms. "Again! I told you I'm in love with you and you can't even listen to it, because it's not how you imagined it to be." She swallows then, closing her eyes for a second. "You're in love with me?"
"Have been for the past twelve years," he whispers moving a strand of hair from her face.
"I.. " she stutters. "I know," he whispers, looking in her eyes and he wants to make a move. Pull her closer, caress her cheek. Kiss her, but she's faster. Her lips crashing on his as she kisses him. Her hands on his cheeks as they remain in that position for some time.
He pulls back minutes later, and looks at her with a smile. "Still needs to be in control," he mumbles as he places a kiss on her temple, making her smiles, "that's why you love me."
"True," he whispers, looking at her again, "I do. I love you, Donna."
"I love you too, Harvey."