It's the 31st here, so A New Year's Eve Darvey One Shot, this one is for Cece! Because you made that awesome vid with that song that's been stuck in my head since! Can't wait to laugh at the chef with you, like we did with Rasputin.. I changed the ending a bit, hope you like it and maybe leave a review? Happy New Year everyone! Xx
She rolls around in her bed, pulling the sheets over her head as her hands fight with her alarm. Letting out a sigh because she doesn't want to get out of bed. Not today and maybe not ever. Not when after all these years everything got so messed up, and today is just another one of those days it gets rubbed in her face.
They used to hang out together, him and her. Every year again, a tradition. Another one of their rituals, and she lets out a sigh as she buries her head under her pillow again, her mind not willing to shake the memories of how they used to be.
How she'd go to his place, all dressed up because you never know what's going to happen. But deep down she knew, nothing would happen and nothing had happened until that one night months ago. She can still taste the last dinner he'd made her, chicken parmesan, exactly a year ago.
How he'd set the table for two, just them. Him and her. The candles that were placed on the table, the fire place burning and she still remembers the soft sounds from the record that was playing. His father's.
She remembers how he'd smiled when he'd opened the door, how he'd taken off her coat and how his fingers had just scraped her arms. It was unintentional, but she'd felt her skin burn for the rest of the night. How he'd wanted to escort her to his living room, but she never excepted his hand and she wonders now if he really even offered.
How she'd let out a laugh as she saw the menu he'd made her. The piece of paper feeling heavy in her hand, his handwriting on it as she read the little message he'd left for her. It wasn't just the 'happy new year' he wrote every year, she still sees the letters of the 'may all your wishes come true' dance in front of her.
And she really believed that maybe this year would be the year, their year. The year that would change everything, and it had, but not in the way she had wanted. Her wishes hadn't come true.
Tonight being another big confirmation of that tragedy, they were done. There wasn't a them anymore. Yeah, they claimed to be friends, but who were they kidding. How can one be just friends with the one you've loved for such a big part of your life? Especially after you tell him you're not jealous he slept with your new boss's sister, because that's obviously a lie. She didn't know why she said it, mention Mitchell. The guy she'd been on a date with two times and nothing more. But suffices to say, things got awkward after that.
So she knows she'll be all alone tonight. Just her, all by herself. Not even willing to go to one of the numerous New Year's Eve parties she had been invited for, because it wasn't what she did. It wasn't what they used to do. She even said no to Rachel and Mike, maybe it really was better to stay alone today.
Hour after hour passed and to say she ever really got out of bed, was an overrated expression. She was still in his old Harvard shirt, a pair of yoga pants and her hair still all over the place. Breakfast was skipped, a bucket of chunky monkey and a cup of tea enough for now. The tea soon being replaced by wine as she let herself fall down on her couch. Adele's playing on the background and for the first time in forever she lets the tears come.
Because it was the end of the year, their year. The year that was supposed to be the game changer and now with only hours left, she finally accepted how it was. It was over, they were done. It would be new year soon, the year in which she'd completely move on from him. Maybe that should be her New Year's solution.
He moves through his kitchen, his hand lingering on the handle of the refrigerator. But he doesn't open it, not willing to be faced with all the ingredients inside. The ones he bought, even though he knew she wouldn't come over that night. A bottle of her favourite wine staring at him, his heart cringing as he spotted a can opener in front of it.
He turns around then, letting his head rest against the refrigerator door as he stares at his fire place. It isn't burning, it hasn't. Not since that one night at her apartment, the colours of the flames reminding him too much of her. He swallows and closes his eyes, well aware that everything in his apartment is mocking the situation he's in now. The situation they're in now, that stupid cactus in the corner being the cherry on top, but he looked after it like his life depended on it. And maybe it did, but unlike the cactus his life with her never really bloomed.
He lets out a sigh, going over the options in his mind. Should he go to her, should he go to the party or should he just stay home? The latter two feeling the same, because even at a party without her he'd feel alone. That's something he has learned these past months, how she was his life, his everything. How she completed him, and now he was just all by himself.
He slams his hand against the counter, letting out an anger that has been bottling up for a very long time. He just can't really place why. 'That's a lie,' he corrects himself, he knows exactly what he did wrong and he decides there and then that he's got to make a change. He's got to show her, show her how much he's fighting for her for them and if he'd do New Year's resolutions that would be it.
He takes a step towards his living room, he needs something to clear his mind. To think of a plan, and there's two, well three things he really needs right now, but only two of them are within arm's reach. Scotch and music.
His hand lifts the bottle as he pours himself a drink, his eyes fixated on the table. But this time it isn't set for two. It isn't set at all. He picks up his glass taking a small sip as he walks over to his record player, his father's record still on top, but he can't listen to it. Not tonight, not alone. So he turns on the radio, 'all by myself' blasting through the boxes and he lets out a sigh. He always hated this song, but it's exactly how he feels right now as he downs his glass of scotch. And another and another, as he finds himself in his kitchen again. He's cooking, he doesn't know why, but he is. Not necessarily for him, but for her. Because it was their tradition, and traditions are meant to last.
He's working on the pasta dough now. His hands buried in the dough as he moves it around, making sure it's perfect and for a second his mind wanders off, to how it would be if this were her body. If his hands were massaging her, but he snaps out of his thought again as he catches himself singing the words 'don't wanna be, all by myself.'
He stares in the distance for a moment as he hears the words again, and again. 'Don't want to be, all by myself,' and all he can see is her. Donna. He swallows now as realization hits him, that he's done that to himself. He's pushed her away, he caused both of them to be alone, and he now knows he's got to change that.
He makes sure the sauce is okay as he moves to his table, two plates in his hand. Setting a table for two, for him and for her. Two plates, two glasses and candles in the middle. Not two, but twelve. As he hears her say again how one should pay attention to the little details. He takes his phone out of his pocket then, his finger pressing his first number under the speed dial and he calls her.
She takes another sip of her wine as she hears her phone ring, her heart crumbling into even more pieces as she sees his picture appear on the screen. But she wants to stay strong, she wants to do what's best for her and right now.. After a year, it's hitting ignore. Might as well start early with that resolution she says to herself. Hitting ignore again and again as she keeps seeing his face. She ends up throwing her phone to the other end of the couch, completely missing the text messages he's send her now and the pictures of the dinner he prepared.
He stares at his phone, a frown growing on his face as time passes by but she still hasn't answered. Taking another class of scotch as he patiently waits for her to reply, but half an hour in, there's still nothing and he catches himself singing those words again. 'Don't wanna be all by myself.'
"F*ck it," he mumbles then as he blows out the candles, turning his stove off. "F*ck it, f*ck her, f*ck Donna," he mumbles as his feet carry him out the door.
The music is playing loud and his ears are buzzing, he scans the room. It's far too crowded for his liking, but at least he's not alone. Not anymore. He lets his arm rest on the bar, ordering another glass of scotch as his eyes start scanning the room again. Looking for someone, anyone. As long as he doesn't have to be alone tonight. His eye falling on a young blonde that's dancing very revealing in front of him.
She moves closer, turning around and her hands fall on his chest, she lets out a laugh as she lets one of her fingers trail down his arm. "So handsome, what's your name?"
"H.. Har..Harvey ," he mumbles as he tries to give her his signature smile, his hands on her waist now, and he's playing with the fabric of her dress. The blonde bites her lip as she moves closer, her fingers playing with his hair as he takes another sip of his drink. "Hi Harvey," she whisper in his ear, letting out a giggle as his hands move over her side. Her lips nearly touching his earlobe. "I'm Elsa," she whispers then, "so are you going to be the one I kiss at midnight?"
He freezes on the spot now, his hands falling from her waist as he pushes her back. Her name and what she just said being too much of a reminder of how he'd usually spend his New Year's Eve. He had never told anyone, neither did she and it was stupid really. Maybe even childish, but they'd stay at home. Watch an old Disney movie and keep that promise they both really wanted to break. To not kiss anyone at midnight.
Elsa looks at him surprised. "I'm sorry," he mumbles then, downing his glass of scotch.. "I .. I.. Have to go do something.. Uhm.. I ..Go.." the words not forming a logical sentence anymore, but his feet manage to stumble in the direction of the door.
She turns off her radio, her tears have dried up and she looks at her clock. It's only eleven, still plenty of time to go somewhere that night. To have fun, to forget about Harvey Specter. Maybe break that stupid promise they made each other too.
She looks in the mirror, her hair is okay now and with a bit of lipstick and a nice cocktail dress no one would notice how she'd had spent her day until now. She looks over her shoulder again, a smile on her lips as she's secretly pleased with how she looks. She still has it. "F*ck this, F*ck Harvey," she mumbles, prepping herself one last time as her hand reaches for the doorknob
Her mouth dropping as she sees him then. Standing in front of her door, with this stupid grin on his face. His hands packed with stuff she doesn't even recognize. "Harvey," she mumbles, "go. Just go."
"Nnno..no no..no Donn..na," he mumbles as he moves himself forward stepping inside her apartment. "Shit you're drunk," she mumbles as she takes a step aside. "And sure make yourself at home," she adds, but her anger is soon replaced by something else as she sees him stumble to her couch, and she quickly moves towards him, helping him sit down. Taking the stuff from his hands, and she can't help but smile as she sees how he's brought Thai from that place she loved, a bottle of wine and probably the only Disney movie he owns 'The Little Mermaid'.
"Harvey," she mumbles as she sits down next to him, "why are you here?" But he doesn't answer, he seems zoned out a bit. She shakes her head, getting off the couch. "Typical," she mumbles as she walks to her kitchen, "typical Harvey."
She returns with a glass of water and some paracetamols, placing them on the table in front of him. "Harvey," she whispers again, this time placing her hand on his, making sure he looks at her. "Why are you here?" He just looks at her and gives her the goofiest smile she's ever seen. "Tr.. Tr..Tradition," he answers at last, the words of how he just wants to be with her not leaving his lips.
"Yeah," she mumbles as she reaches for the glass and the paracetamol then. "Open your mouth," she whispers as she makes sure he takes it.
He's not entirely sure what's happening, but he felt her fingers against his lips, sending shivers down his spine. And he's not sure what happened in between, but all he sees now is her taking of his shoes.
She places his feet on the table then, reaching for a plaid as she makes sure he's all settled on the couch. Placing it over him as she puts the DVD in the player. "Tradition," she mumbles as she sits down next to him, "freaking tradition."
He lets out a laugh as the movie starts playing. "What?" she mumbles looking at him. "No .. Nothing…y...you just look like her.." he grins. "I look like her?" she asks frowning at him, shaking her head.. "Yep," he mumbles, plopping the 'p', "R .. Red hair, you're just like her." She shakes her head again, biting her own tongue before her "you're impossible," covers his "but more beautiful."
"Well you're nothing like Eric," she fires back at him, "showing up here drunk. That's not what a prince does," she concludes lifting her chin, giving him a disapproving look. "You ... You think I'm a prince?" He mumbles then laughing at the idea.
"Ooh, just shut up," she orders handing him the glass of water again. "If you had a white horse maybe," she mumbles rolling her eyes, cause there's no way he'll remember that comment in the morning. He just looks at her, how she's looking at the screen, her last comment on repeat in his mind.. "Well," he laughs. "If y… you want I'd p… paint my mustang white."
"What?" she mumbles looking at him again. "The .. The logo.. Th.. That's a horse.. And Uhm.. It has.. Has.. Uhm.. A lot of horse power.. So"
"God you're so drunk," she mumbles as she pushes him back to lean against the armrest of the couch, but he was holding her arm, and she falls against him. How did she miss that? Was he holding her the entire time? Why didn't it feel weird? "Harv," she mumbles, but he just holds her. "Ssssh.. Donna.. I.. I..am trying to watch."
She shakes her head, deciding that it's best to not argue with him anymore. There's no point if he's this far gone. So she settles herself against him, her head on his shoulder and her hand resting on his chest as they continue to watch the movie in silence.
He looks to his left then, seeing how her head is next to his, how she's crawled up against him, and maybe that's really all he needed to have a moment of clarity. Not the water, not the paracetamol, just her.
His hand covers the one that's on his chest and his fingers trace hers, but she doesn't look up yet, thinking it's just his drunken self acting up. "Donna," he whispers then, his thumb running over the palm of her hand, "if you had to pick a New Year's resolution, what… what would it be?"
She lifts her head, looking at him now, her earlier thoughts coming to mind, but she doesn't tell him. She just looks at him, the way his eyes are fixed on their interlocked hands, the smile on his lips with it. He takes her silence as an answer, as he looks at her now. Really looks at her now. "I know mine," he whispers then.
The song starts playing in the background and she swallows as she sees him lick his own lip. Her eyes locking with his. "What is it?" she mumbles, her voice shaking a bit.
there you see her
sitting across the way
she don't got a lot to say
"You," he mumbles, his words making her let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
but there's something about her
and you don't know why
but you're dying to try
"Me?" she repeats in a whisper, blinking twice as she's fighting the tears that are welling up in them. "Yes, you. To fight for you," he answers, his lips pressed in a thin smile.
you wanna kiss the girl
"But," he mumbles, his eyes looking at the clock for a second, before he looks back to her.
yes, you want her
look at her
you know you do
"I don't want to wait for the new year, Donna," he tells her, his head crooked to the right as he studies her face. Looking for an answer, something he finds in her smile and the added nod. Answering more than what he literally asked.
possible she want you too
there is one way to ask her
He swallows, smiling at her response. He turns towards her, his hand moves to her face, removing one of those auburn locks as his fingers caress her cheek, pulling her closer.
it don't take a word
not a single word
go on and kiss the girl
His lips reaching hers and he kisses her then. She smiles at how in sync with the song it is, but kisses him back. Her arms wrapping around his neck as he pulls her on his lap. His hands holding her at her waist.
She pulls back then, smiling at him and her eyes focus on the clock. "You couldn't even wait one more minute," she laughs. He catches her hand then. "We've already waited twelve years, Donna," he mumbles, his hands moving back to her face as he brings her towards him again, but she places her finger on his lip. Stopping him as she hears a countdown start outside.
"10, 9, 8.." she mumbles pulling back her finger, her hands now resting on his shoulders again. "7, 6, 5.." he counts with her then, his hands moving down her shoulders to her sides. "4, 3, 2.." he manages them to turn around pressing her down on the couch, but they never reach one as his lips cover hers again, his hands slipping under her dress, her hands fumbling with his belt.
He lets out a soft breath, as he turns his head around, keeping his eyes closed as he tries to relive that dream he had that night. A very vivid dream, he thinks to himself as he sees her red hair flashing in front of him again. He's been having a lot of those dreams about her lately, but never one like this. He's never woken up this hot and bothered, he can still feel his body being affected by it.
He lets out a yawn as he slowly opens one eye, but all he sees is an apartment that's not his own. His eyes focus on the clock, seeing how it's only four in the morning. He closes his eyes again, counting to ten as he opens them again, but it's still not his apartment. In fact it looks an awful lot like hers, and that when he notices something is stopping him from moving, he slowly turns his head only to be faced by those auburn locks again. His eyes widening as he now sees a naked Donna sleeping on top of him and his breath falters as he now notices how his own torso is bare as well.
He has to fight the grin that's forming on lips, but he has to know if what he thinks happened, really happened. He carefully moves his hand, trying not to wake her up as his fingers fall around the edge of the blanket that's on top of them, he slowly lifts it, now seeing how they were both indeed completely naked, now also seeing why he woke up feeling like this.
"Holy shit," he mumbles with a smile, but a bit too loud as his hand drops the blanket again, his actions making her wake up. She opens her eyes, looking at him and she moves around a bit, wanting to lift herself she pushes her right hand down and his face cringes, his eyes widening in the process. "Ooh, god," he mumbles again and his reaction, the look on his face making her mouth drop.
"Ooh, geez," she mumbles again, "you don't … ooh.. well this is freaking great.." she mumbles now tears forming in her eyes as her mind is already trying to figure a way out. A way to forget, like he apparently already had, but his right hand moves to her head, removing her hair from her face. "Hey, Ariel," he whispers with a smile and he sees her face turn into relief. "You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?" he asks her.
"Uhm.. I..," she smiles shaking her head as she lets her chin rest on his chest, "your face," she mumbles then, "you looked .." and he lets out a laugh. "Yeah..that's for another reason," he explains pointing at her hand. She follows his gaze and she finally registers how her hand was literally on him, how hard he was.
"I .. I'm sorry," she whispers removing her hand slowly as she lets it trail upwards over his torso now. He covers her hand with his, pressing it against his chest, his fingers covering hers, "yeah I can see you're real sorry," he teases her and she just bites her lip smiling at him.
"So.." she mumbles then looking at him, "you remember everything?" He takes her hand again and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss on it. "You mean that part where I forgot to tell you that I love you," he whispers, his eyes locking with hers, "because I do."
Her mouth drops a little, "I..I.." she stutters, but he nods telling her how he promised to fight for her, that telling her he loves her would be the best thing to start with and she just stares at him. Unable to speak and he lets out a laugh, pulling her closer. "What?" she mumbles, questioning his laugh. "Looks like you're the one that forgot what happened, but don't worry.. I'm happy to remind you what else we did," he teases her bringing his lips to hers again.
When they wake up a couple of hours later, their bodies are still entangled, but this time in the comfort of her bed. Her head on his chest, and her left arm in his neck as his arms are holding her at her waist. He looks how she sleeps in his arms and all he can do is smile, his arm moving caressing her back as he sees how she's waking up now. Slowly lifting her head until he looks into those two beautiful brown eyes again.
"Happy new year, Donna," he whispers placing a kiss on her temple as he just holds her in his arms. "Happy new year," she whispers back, hugging him tightly.
"Hey, Harvey," she whispers a couple of minutes later, "remember that thing you wrote on that menu last year?" "Yeah," he whispers, "that all your wishes may come true." She looks at him then again. "They did."
- the end