Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, newly married, were moving into their house on Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet's younger brother, Eliot Gardiner, had just finished his Jedi training, which was nice because he could use the Force to move the furniture in and out.
"Eliot! Eliot, where are you? This chair needs to be moved," Mrs. Bennet said.
"I put it where you wanted me to."
"But it looks horrible."
"It looks fine."
"No it doesn't. What is it you Jedi are always saying to each other about feelings? Use your feelings, Eliot!"
"Search. Jedi search their feelings."
"Well you should have searched more when you put the chair in that ugly spot!"
"That doesn't...that's not..."
Her older brother Reginald was there too, hammering a picture on the wall, "We're going to war. You've got to get ready, Bennet."
"They've already got enough clones. What could any army possibly want on Longbourn?"
"Officers, probably. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you got some attractive employment opportunities soon."
Afterward, they told funny stories and sipped on Bagelian fizz drink. Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation, and Eliot began to speak seriously about the war, "I know you don't believe in the Force doing anything but moving objects, Fanny, and I don't know exactly what it has in mind right now. But I'm fairly certain it wants me to give you this."
Two lightsabers hung from his belt. He removed one and gave it to Mrs. Bennet.
When her brothers had left, Mrs. Bennet looked at the lightsaber, "Just what I needed: something else to clutter up my new house." She set it on a table in the sitting room.
That night, it rolled off the table and behind the chair that Mrs. Bennet so carefully positioned, where it would remain unnoticed for twenty-five years.
Elizabeth fell over in her scramble to get away from Queen Catherine's lightsaber. Desperate for some kind of barrier, she got behind the old chair in the corner. There, she found exactly what she needed
When Wickham met Lydia on Naboo, he initiated a flirtation, which developed into a meaningless "fling". They both enjoyed that situation until she got clingy. She wouldn't let him out of her sight. She was hinting at long-term-relationship-things like Meeting Her Parents. His worst nightmare! He was just on the verge of dumping her when, in a moment of even worse indiscretion than usual, she decided to tell Wickham that her annoying sister just told her that her other annoying sister took her favorite earrings to a rebel base.
When the truth serum kicked in, Lydia squealed, "EEEEEEP!" Then she giggled like a drunk hyena and refused to stop. It was an unsuccessful interrogation. Vader and his officers were discussing how she might react to certain methods of torture when a Stormtrooper abruptly said, "I have been sent to relay classified information."
Vader lead the way to the next room, "I hope this will be worth interrupting an important interrogation, soldier."
"Of course, sir. You have been misinformed."
"In what way?"
"Padme Amidala had a second child."
Vader placed his hand on his lightsaber, "How does this information concern me?"
"You have admitted to being the father of Luke Skywalker. There was a twin."
"What reason have I to believe you?"
He pulled out an absolutely authentic Coruscant Hospital birth certificate. There, along with Luke's name, sex, and parentage, it was recorded that he had a twin sister.
"What became of the second child?"
"I will tell you if you let me go with Lydia Bennet."