Severus Snape was on his rounds at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when he got a feeling that something was very wrong.

The hair prickled on the back of his neck and he looked down to see if he was standing on a carpet and his robes were just getting the better of him. His toes tapped on stone. No such luck.

His lip curled as he made his way to a window and looked into the night. He squinted and cocked his head to one side. The stars weren't right. Not just that they weren't in the wrong places, they were… different.

There was a crack of lightning, even though the night was clear, and even that was wrong. Severus scowled. It had to be some trick, whoever heard of pink lightning?

There was a blast deep in the Forbidden Forest and the potions master groaned. Twenty minutes. He had been so close to it being someone else's problem.

He snorted before setting out across the grounds. He was getting too old for his nonsense. The grass was wet, and the cold was the kind that creeped into your bones and made you stiff, even with protective spells.

It had better not be any Slytherins. If they had one more incident this week he was going to bung up the hole to the common room and let them rot down there. Start with a clean slate.

The idea cheered him.

He wouldn't mind making a play for the Scamander twins. They could be just what the House needed in terms of rebuilding confidence. Brilliant and spacy, good-natured and competitive. Not bad things, overall.

Of course, that is if they'd allow an entire resorting, which they never would. Too bad.

Severus stopped for a moment and looked at Hagrid's Hut. He was the gameskeeper after all.

The giant boarhound, Fang, whimpered at the window and disappeared.

Severus snorted. He'd be better off on his own. He always was.

The woods were thick and untended, and Severus didn't want to use light in case he had a chance of catching the culprits. He stumbled several times before changing his approach: crouched lower to the ground, feeling out with his feet before he shifted his weight.

There was a sound like a magnetic vibration, deep and resonating, and small pops and fizzes, as if something electric were malfunctioning.

Mauve fog filled the crash site, and a slick silver space pod in the center of the destruction lit the clearing.

Severus drew out his wand. No one knew he was here. He'd have to be careful.

There was a sound like an air seal breaking and steam rose from seams in the ship that hadn't been there a moment before. The lid cracked open and Severus squinted at the sight before him.

A man rose from the steam and smoke. He was lean and moved like a cat. Brilliant red hair swept away from his head and his mismatched eyes, heavy with eyeliner and sparkling makeup settled on the potions master.

"Hello. I'm Ziggy Stardust. Who are you?"

A/N: So it's January 2016 and we're all shattered. I started this in the hopes of getting a continuous story going across fanfiction dot net. If you Write the next chapter let me know so I can link to it here.