401A/N: First, and foremost, thank you so much for your support and understanding! The decision to restructure this story was not made lightly. I struggled with it for months. I searched for any other way to get this story back on track. Sadly, there wasn't one, but I have to admit I have fallen in love with this rewrite and hope that you will enjoy it as much as I have.
For those who expressed their concerns, I completely understand your hesitance, but I would like to address them for clarification. When I said this second draft is quicker paced, what I should have said was each chapter of this rewrite covers roughly four chapters of the original story. Which means in 18 chapters (including the two already posted) we should be roughly where we left off, and on our way to our happy ending!
Riley stirred awake a little after eight, marveling at the sunlight peeking through her blinds as she slept. She couldn't remember the last time the sun had risen before she had. At least two years, she guessed, stretching leisurely with a yawn. This morning she didn't have to strain her ears for sounds coming from the next room. She didn't have to tip toe through the hall to get to the shower. She was alone. Relief washed over her for about ten seconds before evaporating into discontent. As much as she wanted to be grateful for the peace, she'd grown accustomed to the noise and chaos that came with her daily routine. Without it, she was lost.
Still, she tried to make the most of the gift she'd been given. It was a rare occasion she had the chance to sit and nurse her orange juice in pajamas for half an hour or sing in the shower without obsessing about her volume. She could disrobe in the living room if she felt like, no one would ever know. And so, she did them all, simply because she could.
Though her new-found privileges weren't enough to distract from the puzzle in her mind. She'd tried to dismiss the strange sensation that had followed her off the subway earlier that week. Stress or exhaustion could have easily contributed to her state of mind, and finals week was chocked to the brim with both. But now her classes were complete, her grades posted, and still that feeling lingered. It was like waking from a dream she couldn't remember.
Whatever the answer, it would have to wait. Katy had volunteered to swap shifts, giving the brunette a chance to sleep in after a long semester of hard work and late nights, but she still had to go in and work that afternoon. She donned her favorite sundress, A sleeveless navy blue, with coral flowers and pockets on each side, quickly weaved her dark tresses into a messy fishtail braid, and headed out to relieve her boss and friend for the day.
Riley's head titled curiously as she entered the bakery and worked the strings of her apron. She'd arrived in just enough time to prepare for the dinner rush, though judging by the quiet coming from the next room she might have an easier night ahead than anticipated. She went to clock in on the office computer, but it wouldn't grant her access.
"Katy, the check in app is on the fritz again, it's saying we're closed today?"
Her manager smiled knowingly at the room full of people eagerly awaiting their guest of honor.
"Shake a leg, Riley. We don't have all day," she shouted.
The brunette forced a her features into the cheery disposition she'd wear the remainder of the evening and grabbed the closest serving tray and order pad she could find before rushing toward the main area, no doubt filled with impatient customers.
"Surprise!" They all exclaimed as she made her grand entrance, shuffling backward a step as her tray hit the floor. Embarrassed, her focus fell to its resting place.
"I'll pay for that." She insisted, still in a daze.
Maya pranced forward, and slung an arm around her best friend.
The blonde laughed with a playful smirk.
"We can't even take you to your own surprise party without you making a mess," she teased.
Riley's uncle Shawn, who'd flown in the night before just for this special occasion, broke from the crowd to join the girls.
"Could have been worse," he offered with a shrug. "Could have been the cake."
She squealed with glee at the sight of her father's best friend, wrapping her arms around him in an enthusiastic hug. As they pulled apart, she glanced around the room, admiring their gesture. Colorful streamers hung from the ceiling along with a large banner her kid brother and his girlfriend no doubt had a hand in which read "Congratulations Riley" in bright purple letters. The counter was laden with party snacks and a large sheet cake with sparklers planted round the frame. Most importantly, everyone she held dear to her heart, from regular customers to close family and friends, were present.
Well…almost everyone.
Before she could express her concern, the blonde shoved her gently toward her parents with a playful hip bump. Both of which were glowing with pride.
"You guys didn't have to do all this."
She embraced them both in tight, grateful hugs, reluctant to let go.
"I didn't," Cory pointed toward his wife. "She did."
Topanga swatted her husband on the shoulder, her stern expression cracking into a smile.
Of course, Riley knew better. Her father had always been the more sentimental of the two.
"This is just our way of showing you how proud we are of you, and the amazing young woman you've become."
Maya backed away slowly, allowing the Mathews family to have their warm and fuzzy moment alone. As much as she loved them, she didn't belong there. This was a celebration of her best friend and her unconquerable optimism. The party was symbol for accomplishment in the face of adversity. None of which did she feel qualified to claim as an art school drop-out who spent most days in her childhood bestie's apartment.
"Hey there gorgeous," a familiar masculine voice called from behind.
The blonde greeted him with a smirk and mischievous twinkle.
"Some shindig, huh Boing?"
It was useless small talk; safe, simple, and exactly how the best friend of one's niece should respond.
He hated the small talk, the pretense. He missed the old days when she'd been obvious with her intentions. His had been clear from the beginning.
"Yeah, it's great." He ran a hand through his thick, wavy hair. Something he only did when he was nervous.
He gazed briefly around the room before settling on the vision before him. Gorgeous was an understatement. Even in her jean shorts and tribal tank top she was breathtaking. Her hair hung in loose waves, framing her face.
Instinctively, his hand reached out to brush it back. She didn't pull away, but she did glance anxiously around.
"Relax, no one's watching us," he assured. "All eyes are on the guest of honor."
Lucas stood outside the bakery, peering into the world of his long-lost love. He'd once belonged there. Now he gawked on the sidelines as she glided through the room, from one cluster of guests to the next. Her smile was warm, timid; only a fraction of its true radiance. Still, he marveled at its beauty as she blushed, tucking back her hair.
He grinned as she made an exaggerated expression with her hands, nearly knocking the drink out of a stranger's hand. She was still adorable. Stunning too. How could he have ever believed that seeing her would release him from her spell? If anything, he'd only been pulled further under.
His eyes fell to the concrete.
Standing there, basking in her glow, all his courage fled. What had seemed so clear after their encounter on the subway was blurring into anxious fear. She had returned home shattered and from all appearances, had managed to put the pieces of her life back together without him. Did he have the right to threaten whatever peace she had found? He wasn't sure. One thing he knew for certain was that he wouldn't be welcome to join the guest list if her father had anything to say about it.
He couldn't have looked away more than a few seconds, but when he lifted his head back to the window, Riley was no longer alone. Maya and Josh had come to join her. There was also a man he didn't recognize. He looked to be a few years older; tall, with dark hair and no sense for boundaries when it came to the lovely brunette beside him.
Lucas flinched as he watched the stranger wrap a muscular arm around her shoulders, not that she seemed to mind, as he pulled her closer. She tilted her head back into the crook of his arm, laughing at something one of them had said. What he wouldn't give to on the other side of that window, holding his fiancée, hearing her laugh again.
'Ex fiancée,' that wicked voice in his head corrected.
Riley sat across the table from him, silently nursing her mug of coffee. After two excruciating weeks of living in the same apartment while she made arrangements, the day had finally come. Everything she owned was packed up in boxes in the back of a truck sitting in the driveway they had shared for the last year and a half.
He too sat in silence, wracking his brain for something, anything, he could say that would change this. There had to be a way to take back his selfish words and remind her who they were to each other, how much they needed one another.
"I'll stay."
Had she known what he was going to say? Had she been thinking the same thoughts? She peered up from the still brown pool of liquid in her cup, her eyes dark and desperate.
"What?" It was the only response his baffled mind could muster.
She hugged the steaming mug to her chest like a life preserver.
"I'll stay," she repeated, this time with an edge of urgency.
"That's what you want right? For me to stay? If it's now or never, then I choose now. I don't want never. I'm not ready for now but I can't handle never, Lucas!"
The words came tumbling out of her mouth in jumbled mess. Tears trickled down her face as she fought to regain composure. He could see by the pained expression in her eyes she wished she hadn't said the words. But she had, and now the ball was in court.
One word and they could unload the truck and put that ring back on her finger. One word and everything in his world would be right again.
"No."
The brunette tensed at his monosyllabic rejection. Her eyes flooding with pain and fear.
He reached out to touch her before remembering why he shouldn't. Her silken flesh against his fingertips made his heart ache. He didn't want never, but he couldn't pretend not to see the battle waging within her. Neither of them would ever truly be happy if he said the words he wanted.
"I love you Riley…" The words stung on the tip of his tongue. "so much, but you aren't ready, and I'm not sure you're ever going to be."
Her lip quivered against his hand.
He hadn't understood when she meant the night she slid his ring off her finger, but he did now. She was right. No matter how much they loved one another, they were causing each other pain, and it had to stop.
"I can be ready. I want to be your wife…please let me be your wife," she begged.
How many times had he said similar words to her? He'd lost count. It was the all he wanted. The dream of her walking toward him in a white dress had eclipsed every other, and there he was about to throw away his last chance to make it a reality.
"You have to go. You need this." He put on his bravest face but the tears rimming his eyes gave him away. "More than you need me. I can't marry you."
She nodded, wiping the tears from her face. He couldn't even remember her sitting the mug down.
Why did they have to balance one another so well? Why did he have to be the sensible one when she was finally swept away in the moment? Why couldn't she have gotten caught up in it all those times he pled with her before?
Riley placed her hand over his, tangling their fingers together, with a weak smile.
"I really do love you. I hope you know that."
A throaty noise escaped as he swallowed it all down; the loss, the sorrow, the agonizing fear of his existence without her.
"I know. I love you too."
His emerald gaze settled on their hands. Once she pulled away he would never have this again.
"Nothing's ever gonna change that, Riley."
Had he chosen differently she would have been his wife by now. Instead he was standing on the other side of the glass, an intruder to the life she'd built for herself. He was wrong to come back. His place in her life had long ago been forfeited. He was foolish to think she would still be holding onto him after all those years.
Lucas wanted to leave, but he forced himself to stand there and take the pain. He needed it. Needed the image of the two of them together burned into his brain so there wouldn't be a next time. He would have no choice but to let her go.
Riley's head tilted, confusion on her face as she glanced around the room. That strange unnamable feeling from the subway teased her senses once more. Outside Lucas observed. Despite what he was seeing, his heart leapt from his chest to his throat. Hope bubbled from the depths of his soul, the hope that somehow, she could feel him there.
Before he could remind himself why that thought was stupid and false, a little girl came barreling into the room. Her dark, thick hair bounced as she ran, an enthusiastic grin lighting her face. As Riley knelt down to catch her daughter in her arms, Lucas's entire world went dark.
"Dude, hurry up! We're already running late!"
Zay powerwalked down the sidewalk while Farkle trailed behind.
"Dude!" The word felt foreign and wrong coming from the boy genius, all grown. "I'm moving as fast as I can. But perhaps if I lengthen my stride," he mused, and with a few wide steps, crashed into his friend's back.
For someone who was in such a rush, he seemed oddly immobile.
"I thought you were in a hurry," he huffed, but Zay only waved his hands wildly in his hands while making a shushing noise. His eyes were fixed on the blonde, muscular man hovering in front of the bakery window.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" He whispered over his shoulder.
Farkle shifted positions to study whatever had caught his companion's attention. Immediately, he knew what he was seeing. He just couldn't believe it.
"Unless you and I have reached Riley, Maya status, and now share thoughts and hallucinations, then yes."
Zay turned to the brunette, wearing the same expression he had the day he'd learned what a "Farkle" was.
"We're close, but we ain't that close."
Maya and Riley had been reading one another's minds since they were little girls. Farkle was his brother from another mother, but rarely did he understand the words coming out of his mouth, let alone the workings of his brain. The closest he'd ever come to that kind of friendship was with the man standing a few feet in front of him, but that was another lifetime ago. He couldn't think about that right now.
"What should we do?"
The image of a younger Lucas tearing his towel covered wrists from Topanga's counter flashed through his mind. He'd learned long ago it was pointless to stand between the fellow Texan and those he cared for, and in all the time they'd known each other, Lucas had never cared for anyone as much as the woman on the other side of that glass. If Friar was determined to see her, there was little he or Farkle could do about it.
"How should I know, you're the genius!" he whispered pointedly.
Farkle fought the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, he had an abnormally high IQ and amazing mental faculties. That didn't mean he had every answer to the universe, and found it slightly annoying his friends often thought otherwise.
"Well, we'd better do something fast. If he goes in there Riley will freak!"
Zay nodded with a shudder.
"I don't even want to think about what Maya might do."
She was just over five feet, and 110 lbs soaking wet, but she could be very intimidating when she wanted and if she saw Lucas Friar anywhere near Riley Mathews? Well, God have mercy on him, because Maya would not!
The brunette grimaced in unspoken agreement. They had no choice but to intervene.
Lucas stood, numb yet aching, listening to his two former friends bickering from the corner, but he couldn't comprehend a word they were saying. Most likely, they were discussing his inconvenient presence and how best to remove him as an obstacle. Not that it mattered now. He'd lost Riley's love and their friendship years before. There was nothing there for him anymore.
The two grown men squabbled from a distance about which one of them should approach the stranger who had once been their friend. Neither wanted to add insult to Lucas's injury, but protecting Riley had to be the priority. Even if it meant protecting her from him.
Zay reluctantly stepped forward with a forced grin.
"H-Hey, buddy, long time no see."
Lucas scoffed, his eyes following Riley as she chased her daughter through the bakery.
"We're not buddies," he grumbled, scratching the back of his neck in an agitated manner.
Zay grinned wider, but it wasn't a friendly smile. It was awkward and trying way too hard.
"Sure, we are man." He almost tapped him on the shoulder but thought better of it.
He didn't have to talk to Lucas or spend the last few years with him to know when he looked ready to kick a tree.
The blonde cocked his head toward his childhood friend.
"You think I don't know why you're here?"
Lucas shifted his gaze from Zay to Farkle.
"Neither of you are here for me. You haven't been since…" Since the breakup. "I get that the bottom line was being there for her. I'm glad that she had you guys. But I needed you too! In a matter of months, I lost everyone who mattered to me!"
Zay turned sharply toward his accuser, blazing with indignation. Adrenaline raced through his system, releasing a rage he hadn't even known was there. He felt as though he were growing; taller, stronger, more intimidating, and just when he felt as though he'd explode from the sensation, he shoved the blonde back forcefully.
"Are you kidding me?!" He burst out, reeling from the strange euphoria which had replaced the feeling of stretching limbs. "Man, you're the one who bailed!"
Farkle observed from the sidelines. He knew he should put an end to the scene playing out before him, but the fraction of him living vicariously through the aggressor wasn't ready just yet.
"You wanna cry victim after what you did to her?!" Zay pointed through the window, snapping the genius from his vengeful fantasies.
Lucas's fingers curled, forming a fist against his will.
"What I did to her?!" He shot back angrily.
What had he done that was so terrible? Loved her? Asked her to marry him? Let her go and respected her wishes when she'd asked for a clean break? He'd done everything Riley Mathews had ever asked of him, and yet somehow it still wasn't enough. How had he become the villain of their story?
They were seconds away from coming to blows when Farkle stepped in. Personally, he'd enjoy seeing Isaiah Babineaux pummel Lucas Friar after everything he'd done, but with one wrong punch either one of those men could go flying through Topanga's window, and he couldn't let that happen.
"Guys," he gripped the shoulder of each man, "there's obviously some hard feelings on all sides here." His emphasis on all was not lost on either of the two. "But this is neither the place or time to get into it."
Lucas was the first to relent. Secretly he was grateful for the intervention. He hadn't wanted to hurt his old friend, it was only a trick of his temper. Had he followed through with that punch he'd have regretted it the rest of his life.
Zay wasn't so quick to let go. His nostrils flared as he stared down his opponent. Despite the truth of Farkle's words, he was still angry. He'd never let himself get angry about it before. Confused? Absolutely! Disappointed? Without a doubt. But he had always managed a safe distance from the personal aspect of Lucas's betrayal. He'd gotten plenty upset for Riley's sake, but he'd never given himself that right. Until now.
"Yeah, fine," he waved dismissively toward the object of his wrath.
Farkle groaned inwardly, almost wishing he hadn't interfered. By doing so, he'd laid a heavy burden on himself.
"You go on in," he gestured to Zay. "I can handle this.
Both were desperate to escape this awkward situation, but Zay had another reason for needing to be at that party. Besides, there were things he wanted to say to Friar before he put him on the closest transit out of state.
Zay's expression softened as he nodded in thanks. One look at Lucas, however, and that glimmer of camaraderie was gone.
The blonde turned his attention to Farkle, who was guarding the entrance.
"So now what," he asked with a shrug. "You gonna pull a spider out of your pocket or something?"
Lucas hadn't actually been there to witness that event but Riley had told him all about it.
"Don't tempt me," the brunette snapped while he led Lucas from the window.
The first order of business was to get him as far away from Riley as possible.
Farkle found himself oddly tongue-tied. For years he'd imagined the lashing he'd give pretty boy Friar if he ever dared to show his face again. Only now that he was here, the genius didn't want retribution. He wanted an explanation. He wanted to know how they all could have been so wrong about the outsider they'd let into their world.
"I was gonna leave, ya know." Lucas mumbled as they walked."
A smirk formed on his lips as the brunette swiveled his head in his direction. It felt nice being studied by him once again. Familiar.
"Why didn't you?"
It was a fair question, and one he hadn't been able to stop asking himself.
"I don't know. "He shrugged with a sigh. "I saw her with that guy and I thought I should go, but then her daughter ran in and I just froze."
That was the opening the genius had been waiting for, but he couldn't take the shot. His gears were too busy grinding on the words "her daughter."
When Farkle failed to speak, Lucas continued, uneasy with the silence.
"She looks good." His eyes fell to his feet. "Happy."
He nearly choked on that last part. Though he would never wish someone he loved pain, part of him had been hoping that she'd been missing him too all those years alone. He'd wished that his return would bring her happiness. Instead she'd found it on her own. Without him.
The brunette still wasn't sure how to respond.
"You know Riley. She makes the most of what she's got."
Lucas nodded with a breathy chuckle.
"With a smile on her face," he added.
Riley's little girl flashed through his mind again, another question forming.
"How old is she?"
This question reignited Farkle's need for answers.
"Why would you care?" He accused harshly.
Lucas flinched at the question. Why did he? What good could possibly come from learning about her child with another man?
Instinctively his finger scratched the back of his neck. The thought of Riley with someone else had always had that effect on him.
"Look, I'm glad that she's happy, and I have no intention of messing that up for her…but…" he staggered, searching for the right words. "I don't know. What if it were Smackle? I mean, you'd respect her right to move on, but wouldn't you want to know when she stopped loving you?"
He kicked a nearby lamp post.
"She couldn't have been more than a few years old…I know Riley would never cheat…and she hardly ever lies…but it just doesn't add up. If she really loved me the way she said she did…how could she leave me? How could she give herself to someone else like that?"
Farkle was flabbergasted! After years of wondering, he was finally beginning to understand what had happened. The truth was they hadn't been wrong about Lucas. His love for Riley and his decency were both genuine all along, and he'd been devastated by their breakup. So much so that he had to erase every link to her once he'd lost her. He'd never received a single message or letter they'd sent. The relief of that knowledge was short lived as he thought of Riley and how this news would alter her "happy" existence.
"You're right," he conceded, leading Lucas in the opposite direction he'd originally planned.
"If it were me, I'd want to know everything."
The party was dying down, and many of the guests had already gone. While Riley went around the room playing hostess, Maya took the opportunity to pull Zay aside for further interrogation. Neither of his friends had been fooled by his act, but at least the brunette had the consideration not to pry. He couldn't say the same for his "sort of, almost, but not really," girlfriend.
"Alright, what's going on with you?"
Any other time he would have been glad to be alone with her, but at present he was still tightly wound, and the lovely blonde had a habit of pushing too hard. It was a dangerous combination.
"Nothing," he slurped from his plastic cup while she eyed him suspiciously.
She wasn't an idiot, nor was she blissfully naïve. Zay, the guy who never got upset about anything, looked ready to put his fist through a wall, and Farkle, who was arguably the most devoted friend on the planet, was mysteriously absent. Neither seemed like good omens.
Maya would have stayed and continued to press her luck, but Riley signaled her from across the room.
"Fine Babineaux," she clapped her hands against her legs. "Keep your secrets for now."
She stood up and ran her fingers along the collar of his shirt before fisting it in her hand, pulling his face closer to her own.
"Just remember, I have ways of making you talk."
She kinked her eyebrow for emphasis before disappearing into the crowd, leaving Zay shaking his head with an amused smirk.
People had plenty of opinions about his arrangement with Maya Hart, but no one could ever call it boring.
His eyes followed her across the room to where she met Riley and the Mathews family. Well, not all the family. Josh was floating somewhere around the bakery, no doubt keeping a respectful distance while waiting his turn. Maybe he should feel something about that, but it was difficult to think of him as a competitor when neither had treated one another as such. If anything, he'd come to think of him as a friend.
"Hey man," Mathews appeared, clapping his shoulder blade. "Sorry we had to start the party without you."
Zay forced a playful grin.
"Well you know the party don't start til I walk in."
Josh's brows knit together, stifling a chuckle.
"Did you just quote Kesha?"
The suggestion alone brought a mental shudder, yet as he thought about it he knew he couldn't deny the claim. Technically, he had.
Both men stared one another down a second before bursting out in laughter.
"I guess I did man," He considered telling Josh everything. As Riley's uncle, wasn't it his job to help protect her?
His eyes drifted across the room to Riley and her daughter once more.
Misinterpreting Zay's distraction, Josh nodded with a knowing look.
"It's getting harder, isn't it?"
Zay sat stunned, unsure of what to say. Unsure how much to say. Thankfully, while he was grasping for words his phone began to vibrate. He reached into his pocket and examined the text with a sigh.
"You have no idea," he muttered,
Josh had an idea, or rather he thought he did. After all, when it came to Maya Hart they were both in the same boat. Had Zay wanted to talk about it, he'd have listened, but it was clear he wasn't comfortable discussing their most common thread. Not that he could blame him. No matter how civil they were to one another, deep down, they knew eventually she would choose and one of them would lose her. He didn't want to talk about that either.
So instead he gave an understanding smile and a wave before giving Zay some space.
According to Zay, Farkle had missed the entire party. Admittedly, he was disappointed. This was a special day for Riley and he wanted to be there for her. Still, he'd enjoyed reconnecting with his old friend over the last couple of hours. Turned out, he wasn't the only one there to seek answers. Lucas had a lot of questions too, which he'd done his best to fill in the blanks for the most part. There were some details he left out, thinking they'd come better from the original source.
Half an hour later they turned the corner and Lucas stalled when the bakery came into view. This time Riley could be seen, alone, dancing across the bakery floor in the most animated manner. Standing there, a reel of similar memories played through his mind. It wasn't the first time he'd caught her performing.
Farkle detected the shift in the blonde's expression with pride. Seeing that goofy smile confirmed he'd done the right thing.
The corner of Lucas's mouth quirked upward with clarity.
"You're lifting the ban?"
The genius nodded, extending his hand.
"Won't the committee have something to say about that?"
Of course, they would! Many somethings, that would probably be spoken very loudly and with violent hand gestures, but he'd worry about that when the time came.
"Probably," he shrugged. "I trust you'll do the right thing."
Lucas smiled and the two men shook hands.
Once Riley and Lucas were alone in the bakery, Farkle pulled out his phone and sent a mass text to Zay and Maya. It felt strange excluding Isadora, but she was a world away and completely ignorant to the changes happening in their own. Even if he could tell her, there was little help she could offer long distance. Both he and the news would be waiting when she returned. Assuming Maya and Zay didn't kill him for what he'd just done.
It had taken some arm twisting, but Riley had finally convinced her friends and family to let her stay after and pick up the bakery. Though she'd enjoyed the party, she was drained from the endless smiling and nodding required of her role as guest of honor and hostess, and happy to have the place to herself. Happily, she set the playlist and shuffled and twirled her way across the floor as she worked.
Her mother had insisted on taking down the decorations and clearing the tables herself. All that remained was the floor and daily business preparations. Her broom made the perfect dance partner as she glided, sweeping as she went. A playful twirl around the dustpan and the music led her straight into the arms of the man who haunted her dreams and nightmares. Only this time she wasn't waking up.