Once upon a time, there was a fish. The fishes name was...

*Katie: Wait. A FISH?! Come on, Caroline. A fish?!*
*Caroline: Yeah.*
*Katie: Okay.*

Okay. The fishes name was Katie. She liked to draw evil smiley faces on her friend, Caroline's... er, fin. Yeah.

*Caroline: ... fin?*
*Katie: Well fishes don't have ARMS, Caroline. Neither do TREES, may you recall a terribly painful past story.*
*Caroline: Oh, yes. The insanity... SEPHEROTH LOVES ME! This is going to be the start of a beauuuutiful relationship...*
*Katie: Sure sweetheart. He's only been avoiding you like the plauge.*
*Caroline: I'm NOT LISTENING!*

So, er, the fish, whose real name was Nyao, but she thought she was Katie, since she was a very hallucinatory-

*Katie: HEY! THAT COMPLETELY DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF...*
*Caroline glares*
*Katie: .. shuttingup.*

-fish. So, one day, as the fish was swimming, it came upon the lonely Zidane-

*Katie: The next fanfic we write will NOT be about Final Fantasy. . .*
*Caroline: hehehe. . . We shall see. . .*

-Who was sitting by a pool, by himself, except for the bratty Eiko, who was sitting next to him, hugging him tightly. Chanting, "I love Zidane!" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over-

*Katie: I THINK WE GET THE PICTURE!*
*Caroline: *gulp* okay.*

Zidane sighed, and got up and walked away from the bratty, snotty, icky, ug-

*Katie: Don't diss the girl with the cat ears!*
*Caroline, cowering: Yes ma'am.*

-ly Eiko. So, the fish felt sorry for him. Yeah. The fish felt sorry for him, for Zidane seemed to be very, very sad about something...

*Katie: Caroline, I wish you'd stop moving that keyboard holder... thingy.*

Anyway. So the fish, being a MAGIC fish, jumped out of the water and somehow made its way over to Zidane.
"Hey, kid, what's wrong?"

*Katie: Caroline, I can't type with my hands under a desk.*
*Caroline moves the keyboard holder thingy out*
*Katie: Thank you.*

"It's just that... I lost my pet donkey Alfred. I loved him so much... I feel so..." Zidane buried his head in his hands and sobbed.
"Oh." said the Magic Fish, clearly not understanding. "Why don't you just go buy another llama... er... donkey?"
"I don't have the gil for one! And besides, no one will ever replace Alfred!"
Thinking this over, the Magic Fish dove into the water and came back up, holding out some seaweed to Zidane.
"What about this here seaweed? Will it replace Alfred? You can name it Alfred."
"YES!" Zidane grabbed the seaweed and hugged it close. "I LOVE YOU, ALFRED!"
"I LOVE YOU, ZIDANE!" Eiko cried.
"I LOVE YOU, SEPHEROTH!" Caroline screamed.
Everyone stared at her.
"...nevermind."

So, Nayo (the Magic Fishie) continued to swim upstream until she came across Dagger.

"Hello, Dagger!"

"Hello..."

"Gee, why are you so down?"

"It's just that... I found this donkey, Alfred. I don't know who he belongs to... however, at the same time, I lost my pet seaweed, whose name was The SIMS."

"The SIMS?" Nayo said, confused.

"Yes."

"Oh, gee. I know just how you feel." Nayo said, wondering what the hell this girl was whinning about. "Why don't you just keep the donkey, and name it The SIMS?"

"What a WONDERFUL idea!" Dagger jumped up and hugged the donkey, who just stood there, wondering what the hell was going on. "I LOVE YOU, SEAWEED!"
"I LOVE YOU, ALFRED!"
"I LOVE YOU, ZIDANE!"
"I LOVE YOU, SEPHEROTH!"
Silence.
"... nevermind."

So, Nayo, contented at the ironic chance of this odd donkey/seaweed mixup, swam along upstream. Then suddenly, she came upon Tidus, sitting sadly with his feet dangling in her water. They smelt really bad, but then again, fish don't have nostrils. This was a very MAGIC fish.

"Hello, Tidus!" Nayo greeted the blonde youth happily.
"Hello, Nayo, the Magic Fish!"
"Wow, I really get around, don't I?"
"I'm not in the mood for jokes."
"Why not, pray tell?"
"Well, you see, I was walking through the supermarket, down the lettuce isle, and I found this can of Spackle! I don't know what to do with it!"

"Oh, the same thing happened to me last week!" Nayo cried, wondering what idiot would walk down the Lettuce Isle, watching the ground for forlorn Spackle packages.

"What am I to DO?!" Tidus cried, obviously emotionally disturbed.

*Katie: SPACKLE! MY CAN OF SPACKLE! *sobs*
*Caroline: . . .*

*Katie: *sniffs* I'm okay. . .

Pardon me while I wrap myself in gauze and take a taxi to a hotel where I will be locked in a room with a wild coyote for three days.*

Spackle. . . *sobs*
*Caroline:. . .*

"Gee, Tidus. I understand your dilemna, but for once I don't know what to say. . ." Nayo says, slightly annoyed.

"And then, it's just, I can't even find my pink carrot. Poor Fluffy. . . Wandering the cold streets of Lindblum, alone, starved, unloved," Tidus sobs uncontrollably, "I just don't know what to do!" He cried.

*Katie is in the same mood: WAH! Waaaaaaaaaaah. . .*

"I mean, why does life take your hapiness and smash it into a small ball then throw it out the window, making sure it shatters into a billion tiny pieces?" Tidus sniffed. Nayo blinked, several times.

"Still upset about that whole disappearing thing at the end of your game?"

"Yes!" The young man wailed loudly. "I was so cheesy looking and fruity during that game! I want to change! Be more manly! Like Lulu!"

*Katie: What?*
*Caroline: Get it? Lulu is about ready to fall out of her dress which I still swear is glued to her and she's very femmy. So um, yeah. No disrespect to her though. She's my favorite character.

*off somewhere, far away, whoops of joy are heard from a certain silver haired character*

...besides my darling Sephiroth, of course*

*sobbing replaces the joy*
*Katie: So, what do you think I should do with this pink carrot I found?*

"Well, there's going to be a sequel soon and hopefully your voice actor won't suck as much as he did last time. Better?"

"Much. I just can't believe I killed my old man!"

"Must you call him that every time?"

"Of course. It's to show that I'm young and hip."

Nayo, disturbed bid farewell politely and swam away as quick as her magically delicious fins could carry her.

*Yuffie: I like fish.*
*Caroline: Yuffie, you aren't in this fanfic. Now go play with Vincent or something.*

Nayo, being a magic fish, who had been disturbed after being subjected to various other Final Fantasy characters and their woes, finally snapped when...

"Oh my God! Seifer hit me on the head! WAAAAAAAAAHH!" Squall cried in a loud voice.

*Katie: Squall? CRYING? Now that IS disturbing!*

Nayo was sent to the hospital where Caroline had spent a good portion of 6th grade in, for the Mentally Freaky, Disturbed, and the Just Plain Strange.