Okay, so this was supposed to be a short Valentine's Day inspired one shot.. But it became rather long, I'm posting it today cause it starts with that scene we get of Donna and Harvey walking in sync down the halls of PSL. It takes place right after 5.11, and has some moments inspired on spoilers for 5.12/5.13 but I imagined it being Valentine's Day and with that its kinda has its own time line, but yeah Mike was still arrested. Hope you like it, and maybe leave a review? x
Beam Me Up, Hottie!
Her hand lingers on the wooden desk in front of her as she watches her computer screen logging off for one last time. It was the last thing she needed to do; all her other stuff already being transferred to her old desk. Her desk. She lifts her eyes and she focusses on the four letters of the name on the door nearby for a second until she senses he's walking towards her. She hears his footsteps moving down the hall, but mostly it's just this gut feeling she still has.
Her head turns in his direction slowly and his steps slow down as he nears her. Their eyes lock for a second and it's as if time froze, as if he's literally waiting for her. And maybe he was, but things go so fast she's besides him in mere seconds. Walking side by side in complete synchronisation.
His feet move forward with the exact same steps she's taking and he doesn't need to look ahead. Not because it's a route he's walked a million times before, but because she's there. She's with him again and his lips curl up slightly as he takes in her eyes. The way her auburn locks are framing her beautiful face and his gaze lowers for just a millisecond, because that dress. He mumbles something to distract himself, but the way she laughs at his comment is a distraction in itself.
She tells him something about arranging for Gretchen to go work for Louis and it's kind of breaking the bubble he was momentarily in. Bringing him back to reality and away from the inappropriate daydream she was starring in and he lets out a sigh as her words finally register. He looks ahead, biting his lip before he's ready to speak. "I didn't ask you to do that."
She rolls her eyes, quickly looking to the offices on her right hand. "No," she answers raising her eyebrows and she side eyes him again, "you asked me to come back to your desk."
The words still making his heart skip a beat, a sheer confirmation of how much he has missed her. He crooks his head to the right, just like their feet in the same rhythm as she looks at him. And his lips curl up even more at seeing that confident smile on hers. "I sure as hell did," he mumbles, still lost in her eyes and all he does is whishing the route to his office was longer. Because truthfully he's not ready to stop looking at her, to 'say goodbye' or to part. Even if she'll be sitting outside his office again.
Her pace slows down and so does his until she walks past him to her old, yet new desk. Giving him a smile as he nods at her. They're no words needed, not now and he enters his office, looking over his shoulder once more to see her settle in.
The brunette lets out a sigh as she brings a strand of hair behind her ear, Harvey's words from the other day still on repeat in her head. She can't believe the amount of questions she's already been asked. The shady accusations thrown to her head, even if she's officially out and never had anything to do with this. At least not really, she knew and that was all.
She closes her eyes, sighing again as she hears her phone ring. Probably another person accusing her of things she can't help, but the name on her screen isn't the one she expected to see. "Jessica," she answers, the tiredness caused by this entire situation clearly noticeable in her voice.
Her fingers fumble with the edge of her old pink coat. Counting down the floors as she stares at the corresponding numbers on the sign above the door. She thinks back to that moment Harvey came to visit her; it was real before that, but became undeniable after. She's part of this, whether she likes it or not. Her eyes close for a second when she hears the ding and she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she stepped out on the fiftieth floor.
The floor of the firm she hasn't set a foot inside since she resigned, since she broke her relationship with Harvey and even though that's more than a year ago and she has moved on. It still isn't that easy.
"Dana," she hears the young associate call her and she looks to her right. The watery eyes of Rachel mimicking how she feels inside, uneasy. "Rachel," she nods out of understanding, cause although she's mad at Mike. At Harvey, at Rachel, at the situation, she understands. The woman in front of her is in love and willing to do whatever it takes. She recognizes that look, not just from Rachel and she always believed that she's been there too, but in reality it was always another woman.
They don't say anything else, the movement of Rachel's arm in the direction of Harvey's office the only gesture she needed to make her feet move. Every step feeling heavier than the one before and she can't believe she's doing this, but Jessica asked.
She follows Rachel around the corner. Letting out another sigh as she spots the redhead in the distance. The way she seems to be beaming; her hair radiant and the dress. The dress just a tad too much, causing her to let out yet another sigh that day. "Looks like nothing's changed here," she mumbles just loud enough for Donna to hear. "Scottie," the redhead greets her with a nod as she lets her enter Harvey's office without any further exchange of words.
She walks towards his desk, letting her hands rest on the back rest of the chair in front of him, but he doesn't acknowledge her. "Harveeey," the female lawyer calls him out in the same tone she used to then, as he still isn't even looking up to her.
He lets out a sigh as he slowly shakes his head. "Scottie," he answers with the same fake enthusiasm she used, "why are you here?"
"You know why, Harvey," she answers crooking her head as she looks at him. How he's shaking his head lightly before he leans back in his chair, his eyes meeting hers. Goddamn Jessica and her outside counselling.
She's just been back for a couple of hours, but old habits die hard, or maybe it's just an excuse that great secretaries listen in to conversations. But right now she wished she hadn't. The words shared inside that office brining her back to that one moment in her apartment only months ago. "Looks like nothing's changed here," she repeats Scottie's words in her head again and for a moment she wishes nothing had changed.
He raises his shoulders not even willing to acknowledge Jessica called her after he explicitly told her not to. He's not willing to say it, that they. No, he needs her help, Scottie's help. The brunette lets out a nervous laugh looking to the floor over her left shoulder before she faces him again.
"You said it yourself, Harvey. There are no women like me," the words feel like a punch in the stomach and almost instantly the smile disappears from the redhead's lips. In the same moment as she closes her eyes and she suddenly feels nauseous, her fingers already turning of the intercom she now wished she never turned back on.
Harvey closes his eyes and shakes his head, not sure why he's even listening to Scottie. "Gibbs turned this into an attack on your entire firm and they're coming for you. And when they do, they'll find me," Scottie continues, "the senior partner that was in a relationship with the one they want to identify as an unindicted co-conspirator. And as much as I hate being dragged into this again, you know Jessica made the right move to call me."
"Scottie," he sighed.
"Harvey," she whispered back, "I'm JUST here to help."
She's hiding in the partners kitchen now. Staring at her own reflection in one of the glass panels and for the first time in her life she wonders if the dress she's wearing isn't too much. The cleavage. As much as she hates to admit it, it was for him. She was wearing this dress for him, but who was she kidding? She heard it, she heard those words and she just can't face him now. Or her, them. So she's hiding, waiting for the woman, she always convinced herself she wasn't jealous of, to leave the firm again.
"Donna?" she hears the familiar voice of her best friend call for her and she quickly moves her hand over her own cheeks, blowing out some steam so to speak before she turns around. "Rach," she whispers and she can't help but notice how the younger woman is practically glowing. "You look happy," she comments.
Rachel closes her eyes for a second and nods. "I am," she whispers, "Mike's bailed out and I know it's not the right time but it's Valentine's Day so we're just going to enjoy the time we have."
Valentine's day. Donna bites her lip as the memories to that day rush back to her. She's never particularly liked the day, but most times she had someone to celebrate it with. Or maybe even better, someone to ignore the day with. But not this time, having dumped Mitchell only two days after that dinner with Harvey in Del Posto.
"That sounds great, Rach," she answers trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. The younger brunette smiles, "and with Scottie being here and Harvey …" but the other words don't even register in the redheads head. Valentine's Day. Scottie. Harvey. It's all Donna can think about, she never considered them to be an option again, but this.. Somehow it was just too much, especially because there still hadn't been a change between them. Between Harvey and herself.
Gretchen walks back towards the desk she called her own for the past couple of months, only to find it empty. She looks to the right, spotting the brunette parading around in Harvey's office and she already knows why the redhead isn't behind her old desk. Her knuckles hit the glass of the door twice before she enters. "Mr. Specter," she greets her former boss. "Gretchen," Harvey answers looking at her as Scottie stops talking. "What do you need?"
"I normally wouldn't bother you with this, it's that miss Paulsen isn't at her desk," the older secretary speaks and Harvey's head automatically turns towards the desk outside his office. "I just came to collect my last stuff for the transfer to Mister Litt's desk," Gretchen continues and she waits for Harvey to nod at her before she returns to her former desk.
Scottie lets out a laugh shaking her head as she looks at the ceiling before she faces him again. "What was that about?" she confronts him. "Nothing," Harvey answers, trying to brush it off. "Bullshit, Harvey!" Scottie calls out this time, "she came to pick up HER stuff from the desk outside of YOUR office to TRANSFER to Louis's."
"Scottie," he hisses pushing his hands down on his desk. "She left," Scottie continues then, it wasn't a question, more a confirmation of her thoughts. "Yes, she did," he answers not even using her name.
"Why? Why, after all those years, did she leave, Harvey?" she asks then pointing at the empty desk outside. "Scottie, leave it," he orders avoiding her eyes, "she's back. That's all that matters," he adds then eyeing Donna's desk once more before he looks at the papers in front of her.
She sees it them. The look on his face she tried so hard to ignore back then, the look she tried to convince herself wasn't there, but it was. It always had been. "You told her you loved her," she continues then and it's the way he looks up at the words coming from her mouth, that she knows it's true. The way he closes his eyes and lets out sigh, not even commenting on her assumption.
She's not even sure why she's asking it. It's not that she wants to know or has any interest in the matter, but the words leave her lips faster than her brain can register. "You two together now?" Her words feel like an accusation, and maybe they are, but he can't answer. He can't because that would mean facing reality, that they're not. "She's back," he answers then looking at Scottie again, "now drop it."
"OMG," she exclaims then throwing her arms in the air, "you're so fucking blind."
"What did you just say to me?" he shoots back. "Blind, Harvey!" she exclaims again, "you're fucking blind! She's been there all this time and -" but Scottie pauses herself, not even sure if she's willing to spill it out for him. "Why did she come back?" she changes the subject slightly.
"This," he sighs, "Mike's case.. Gretchen, she doesn't know and this started with Donna and me and we can't let someone else get dragged into this." Scottie shakes her head, looking away. She can't even believe how stupid he is, not even realizing how he's using 'we' when he refers to Donna and him.
"You think that's the only reason?" she questions him then and it's the way she sees him raise his shoulders that she for the first time realizes the best closer in town, Harvey Reginald Specter, really doesn't have a clue and that he's not ready to talk about it. At last not to her, just like the old days. "Okay," she mumbles then pulling back the chair in front of his desk, "tell me everything they might have on Mike."
She watches the clock on the wall of the partners kitchen again. It's been fifteen minutes since she practically ran away from her desk and although she doesn't want to, she knows she has to get back. She lets out a sigh pulling two of Louis' mugs from the cabinet and she fills them with coffee. One with vanilla and a plain one for Scottie.
When she returns she actually sees them working, it's quiet. No words are exchanged and there's no music playing in the background, it's so different from how Harvey and herself used to work together sometimes.
Scottie hears the sound of heels entering the office and she doesn't have to look up to know who it is, that small smile forming on the lips on the man in front of her showing her enough. "I thought you might like coffee," she hears the redhead say and she now turns to face her to as another cup is placed in front of her.
She observes the exchange in front of her, the looks on both their faces but neither of them speaks. "Thank you, Donna," she breaks the silence then. Causing the two others in the room to break their eye contact, Donna quickly nods and Harvey reaches for a piece of paper again. Scottie just shakes her head noticing how both of them are walking on egg shells. This is pathetic.
Donna bites her lip while her dark red coloured fingernails trace the keyboard, her eyes following the letters of her screensaver until she sees the date in the bottom right corner of her screen again. February 14th. Of all 366 days this year, today had to be the one for Scottie to show up.
She opens her internet browser and when a dating add pops up she doesn't know how quickly to close it again. It's like the universe is punishing her for being single on this day, or at least that's how it feels. She hears him let out a laugh and her head automatically turns to look over her shoulder. Wishing she hadn't as she spots the brunette again.
She lets out a sigh and reaches for her phone instead, opening Instagram for a quick break. Something to take her mind of work or anything else happening around her. But it's everywhere, pictures of happy couples. Romantic dates and lots of chocolates. And normally she would be happy for her best friend, but that picture of Rachel and Mike is making her nauseous right now.
His dark brown eyes scan the crumpled court documents in front of him again, but focussing on them is something he's given up on over half an hour ago. He also noticed how often his gaze trailed to the right; just to watch her. Just to make sure she was actually there. That she was actually back. "You're saying you're coming back to me?" "I am."
His head pops up as he hears those two nods on his door and his eyes meet hers again. "Donna," he greets her with a small nod, watching her enter his office. But she doesn't come as close as she used to do, seeing her hold still just past the door.
"Do you need anything else?" she whispers, "otherwise I'd like to go home." He swallows, taking in her words. She wants to go home? Early. On the first day she's back. His gaze shifts between the two women in his office, before he looks at her again. "Have a great evening, Donna," he whispers looking away again.
Scottie's gaze moves from the lawyer opposite of her to the redhead three feet away. Seeing how both of them look away, almost sighing in sync with her own annoyance at the two in front of her. She waits for Donna to leave the room again, before her gaze is directed on Harvey again.
He feels her gaze narrowing down on him and he looks up to see her frown. "What?" he mumbles. "You're such a fool," she fires back shaking her head.
Donna throws a flirtatious look over her shoulder when a guy down the street whistles at her, but deep down it's making her feel sick. She doesn't want to be whistled at, she doesn't want to feel like she needs that kind of attention. Because she doesn't, but right now any sign of people being attracted to her is welcome, especially after this dreadful day.
She plays with the key for a second before she enters the lobby of her building. Greeting the doorman without much notice as she heads for the stairs. "Miss. Paulsen," the older man calls her back and she turns on her heels to face him. "Mr. Altringham," she answers, pressing her arms down her sides, waiting for the man to tell her what was up.
"Miss. Paulsen," he continues, "there are some deliveries for you today," he explains with a smile. She frowns and her added, "but I didn't order anything," making the older man laugh. "Ooh Love, I'm sure you don't need to order these kind of things for yourself. I'm sure there's a keeper amongst them," he explains guiding her back to his office, until she's faced with three bouquets of flowers, two teddy bears, a bunch of balloons and numerous of gifts.
"Uhm," she mumbles eyeing the room. "Don't worry, Love. I'll help you carry these upstairs."
She rubs her hand over her face, closing her eyes for a second while she's standing in front of the pile of 'deliveries'. She opens her fingers slightly and looks through them, counting the objects again. Figuring out where to start.
The redhead lets out a sigh as she lets herself fall down on her couch, assessing the different gifts and still not sure which card to read first, or more importantly whether she's going to read them at all. She decides to start with the bouquet of red roses that looks exactly like the one she brought to Louis' desk herself, her hand shaking a bit as she reaches for the small card, not sure what to expect.
Don't forget you need him as much as he needs you. I'll miss you, Donna. – Louis
Donna's lips curl up at the words of her close friend, but she knows he's right. That deep down she didn't go back just because of Mike, but she needs him too. And suddenly the thought crosses her mind that maybe one of these gifts might be his. Harvey's.
She goes through the entire stack, finding three gifts from Mitchell. One for one begging her to take him back, something she won't do. Cause even though there weren't any gifts from him, it's the thought. Her deepest wishes that matter most. She's still in love with Harvey.
He paces around in his office again, stacks of papers in his hand and he hears the female lawyer sigh again. "Could you just not?!" he mumbles annoyed, frowning at her. She throws her pen back on his desk. "Do what?"
"The sighing," he confronts her, "cause obviously you have something to say. So say it already." She stares at him, a million things on the top of her tongue, but she just lets out another sigh. On purpose this time. "Let's just finish this, so I can go home and get something to eat," she counters then.
He looks at his watch, suddenly feeling his own stomach rumble. "I'm sorry," he apologizes walking back to his own desk, "why don't we stop and let my buy you some dinner." She shakes her head, not even willing to believe she's going to spell it out for him after all, but maybe it's what she owes Donna. She knows the redhead did it a million times for her. "Harvey," she protests. "As a thank you for your help," he tries to explain.
"You're such an ass, you know that right!"
His mouth drops, willing to protest. To counter, but he's not even sure what to say and she's faster anyway, "It's freaking Valentine's Day and the one you should be having dinner with already went home."
"I.." he stutters, not finding the words.
"Harvey, I'm not blind," Scottie explains, "I see the way the two of you look to each other. You love her, Harvey. You always have."
He closes his eyes, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "I am," he mumbles so softly it's mostly a confirmation for himself, "but she doesn't –"
"OMG," the brunette exclaims again, "I know you hate it when I'm right, but trust me. No woman sticks around for twelve years because of a pay check and bag here and there, Harvey. She loves you."
"She loves you, Harvey," she repeats again, "so unless you like this situation you're in right now, you should get your ass over to her place and tell her again."
She's curled up on her couch now, her by leggings covered legs functioning as support for her magazine. Staring at the headline. Valentine's day and she lets out a sigh as she stares at all the flowers and gifts in front of her again. Her mind flashing back to that one moment yesterday, when she was sitting on his couch inside his apartment. Telling him she'd come back to him. The way he looked, the way he smiled, and yet it was still the same. Maybe it was still too soon to expect a change, but on the other hand.. it has been 12 years.
No talking about the words said or left unsaid. No discussion about a rule that's no longer there, not if it's up to her. She's back to his desk, once again at and not on, the thought crosses her mind. No she's definitely not on his desk and with Scottie being back in town, there's someone else she pictures on it.
He pours himself another glass of scotch, Scotties words still on repeat in his mind. She loves you. Get your ass over there. And he really planned to do so, but halfway he turned around. Thinking that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all, cause he knows she deserves more. Or maybe he was just afraid, it was probably a combination of both.
So he found himself in his apartment again, with the third glass of scotch of that evening. Cause he really does want to go, he just needs to find the courage to actually go there and scotch might be the only way to do so.
He licks his lips, the liquid amber burning his tongue as his gaze lands on the clock above his microwave. Nine p.m. and he lets out a breath, wondering how long he could still wait to go over there or if he already missed his chance. He probably has, he thinks to himself. Twelve years, twelve goddamn years.
He's ready to give up, but spots the cactus she's given him on his coffee table then. He sees her sitting on that couch again. The way her hair seemed to glow; how her eyes looked like they were sparkling and just her smile. "It's still alive," he hears her voice again, the thought warming his heart and he then realizes she didn't mean just the cactus. That that cactus is a symbol for them, still going strong.
He downs his glass in one sip, his feet already turning him around. Taking big steps until he's out of his door again. On his way to Donna's apartment for the second time that evening.
Donna stares at the half empty bottle of red wine in front of her and back to the list in the magazine on her legs. Take one sip every time you see a heart.She counts the hearts amongst the pile of gifts on her coffee table. Five, but she downs her entire glass not even bothering to count the sips she should take.
She scans the list again, looking for the next 'punishment,' or as she calls it.. her opportunity to drink, when she hears someone knock on her door. Those three firm knocks she knows belong to him; to Harvey and for a moment she wonders if she should even answer, but it's him. And she finds herself at her own door before she even realizes it.
"Harvey," she whispers as she sees him there, her heart skipping a beat as she sees that smirk of his again. "Donna," he replies in the same tone and she nods waiting for him to explain why he's here, but nothing happens.
"Why are you here, Harvey?" she whispers then and he closes his eyes for a second, biting his lips as he's trying to find the words. "I.. I.. uhm.. I came to .. uhm," he chokes on his words and he gives her an apologetic looks. "Can I come inside?" he asks then and she drops the hand that was still holding onto the door knob. Demonstratively taking a step aside to let him in.
He moves his hand through his hair as he still looks at her, the way she turns around. Her back facing him and he can't help but admire her for a moment. In these casual clothes, she's still so beautiful. "So," he hears her starting to speak again and he quickly looks ahead again, his gaze falling on all the flowers and gifts on her coffee table. "Why are you here?" she asks again.
"I … uhm," the words now completely lost and he decides to take a different route. "I came to see if you were okay," he tells her. "Sorry?" she nearly chokes on the air. Of all days, he chose valentine's day to check if she was okay. She's about to say something along the lines of 'just because I'm single on this day, doesn't mean that,' but he interrupts her thoughts.
"You left early," he explains, his hands buried in the pocket of his pants. Anything to keep himself from reaching for her. "I uhm.. I know that the timing is off," he mumbles looking away, "but uhm .. I actually kind of hoped to celebrate the day you came back with you. Like we used to do."
She swallows, counting her options, but maybe an evening with him might be better than an evening alone. "I already had dinner," Donna tells him them. "Ooh," he mumbles, "uhm.. yeah. We could go for a drink maybe?" he offers instead, that signature smirk back on his lips again.
She shakes her head, her eyes meeting his for a second and she smiles back at him. "Let's stay here,'' she tells him pointing at the couch, "I'll grab you a glass."
He watches her pick up her magazine and placing it on the table in front of him. "So," he starts leaning back on her couch, "what's all that?" he asks playing dumb as he points at all the gifts. "Gifts," she mumbles taking a sip from her glass, "it's Valentine's day."
"Ooh," he fakes giving her a smile and she smiles back before she looks away again. He places the glass on the table and reaches for a box of chocolates. "Hey," she protests as she tries to stop him, but he already grabbed the attached card. "Mitchell," he mumbles, "I thought you were done with that guy."
"I am," she counters pulling the card from his hand again and throwing it back to the table. "All from him?" she hears him ask then and she looks over her shoulder towards him. "No, just the chocolates and some flowers, he's trying to win me back."
Harvey frowns eyeing the gifts again, wanting to say something about how he can't disagree with the guy. But hope he fails non the less. "You've got a lot of suitors," he comments then, a thin smile on his lips, because he's one of them. But there's no proof of that on her table.
She looks at him then, swallowing at the look on his face. "Well, I'm not apologizing for who I am," she continues taking downing her glass before she crosses of another item on the list in her magazine.
He's the one to look at her now, pulling the magazine from her hand and he reads the page. Valentine's Day drinking game for single people. He questions her face for a second, "you're doing this?"
"I'm not apolo – "
"Yes, I know," he mumbles his eyes on the magazine again. "You just crossed of 'anyone ask how you're holding up' why?"
"Really, Specter? You showed up here asking if I was okay," she counters rolling her eyes. "I know," he mumbles back, "but it does say 'one sip' not to down your glass, like you did." "Well, maybe I just like this wine," she improvised, but even though it's not officially on the list; 'your boss, annex best friend, annex almost lover showing up on your doorstep' should be a good enough reason to do so.
"Ha," he laughs raising his glass as he scans the list again, "I can drink to this one too," he adds before taking a big sip. "Which one?" she whispers trying to look at the list, but he's sitting too far away. "Mike and Rachel," he mumbles. "Cheers to those," she laughs taking a sip herself.
"Okay," he mumbles scanning the rest of the list again, "so basically the idea is to take a sip when anything on this list happens, right?" he informs looking at her again. "Pretty much, getting drunk in the process," she laughs.
"So," he whispers turning the magazine towards her, his finger pointing at the twelfth item on the list. Getting a Valentine's day gift from a co-worker. "Yeah," she whispers, her eyes locking with his for a couple of seconds, "Louis."
"Flowers, but they were more of a goodbye present," she explains, trying to hide her smile at his reaction. "He wasn't the only one though," she adds with a laugh, causing him to frown once more. "Chocolates from Benjamin, IT department," she adds handing him the box. "Way too small," he comments opening them and taking one out, "and not even your favourite flavour."
She looks at him again, showing him the teddy bear. "Jenkins," she laughs, causing Harvey's eyes to pop open. "He's a senior partner," he adds shaking his head, "are these guys serious?" She lets out a laugh throwing the teddy bear to another chair in her living room. "If you think this is serious, Raoul from accounting proposed to me."
"Okay, he's fired," Harvey counters. "There wouldn't be much people left to work with if you fired anyone that flirted with me," she laughs, leaving out he might as well fire himself then. "If that's the case," he mumbles downing his glass, "than I need more alcohol."
"Ooh, ooh," he exclaims pointing at the list again, "this one." She leans on her left arm, her eyes scanning the list until she finally finds the one he's pointing at. "Sex and the city?" she reads out loud, "we're not even watching it," she adds. "I .. I uh .. I saw it flash by .. when I .. I was looking for the news."
"Sure you were," she laughs clinging her glass to his and he gives her one of the goofiest smiles she's ever seen. "What?" she mumbles taking another sip. "Nothing," he answers looking away again, "I just can't believe you haven't crossed this one off yet."
"Cheesy pick-up lines," she reads looking at him again, "nope. Had someone whistling at me though, but no pick-up lines." His signature grin turns into a big grin, "okay we've got to change that."
"You're gonna try pick-up lines at me?" she asks jokingly. "Yes," he answers serious, "I happen to know some really good ones," he explains crooking his head challenging her. "Fine," she sighs, "but I'm not drinking at this one though."
"Where's the fun in that?" he questions filling both their glasses with wine again. "I'll make you a deal, you only have to drink if it makes you laugh," he adds handing her her glass. "Okay," she whispers, taking it from his and her fingers scrape past his for just a millisecond, but it's enough to bring her of her game already, "but it can't be just any pick-up line though. I get to choose a topic."
"So no.. Is your name WiFi? Because I'm feeling a connection?" he jokes, "or .. .do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?"
"No," she laughs, "and I'm not drinking for any of those, cause you didn't follow my rule." "Deal," he nods turning towards her a bit until his right arm leans on the back rest of the couch. She mimics his position, pulling her legs up underneath her and her glass of wine ready in her hand. "Okay," she whispers, "one based on .. on Star Trek."
"Star Trek," he laughs, "you're starting with Star Trek?" She shakes her head, "yes, got a problem with that, Captain?" He smirks, "okay.. Uhm.. Beam Me Up, Hottie." Donna smiles, "that was an easy one.. Uhm, now anything based on those gifts I got."
He lets out a laugh, looking at the chocolate wrappers of the ones they just ate on her table again. "You're so sweet, you could put Hershey's out of business." She looks at him, pressing her lips together trying to hide her smile, but he sees right through her. "That's a smile, drink."
She takes a sip from her glass, looking up to him under her eyelashes and she sees him swallow. Reaching for his glass himself. "Okay next," she mumbles, "give me one about … about a.. the teddy bear." He swallows, biting his lip as he thinks for an answer. Letting out a laugh himself before he even speaks, "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?"
Donna turned her head away, taking a sip from her glass. Still avoiding his eyes. "You thought it was funny," she hears him say and she looks at him again. Her head angled a bit as she shakes no. "That's the worst."
He clenches his jaw as his eyes question her face. He's not going to argue with her, but to him it meant she thought it was funny. "If you think that's worse, you're out of luck," he laughs bringing the glass to his lips. "Fine," she smiles, "the worst one you know about food."
"Food," he repeats, all the inappropriate whipped cream comments coming to his mind, but he doesn't use them. There's a fine line between what they're doing now and what a comment like that could do. Not that the one he does say is any better. "Looks like somebody's getting crème brû-laid tonight," he tells with a straight face.
"Animals," she exclaims her next topic of choice. "Animals," he repeats raising his eyebrows, not sure why she's making it easy again. "No wait.. uhm.. forest animals," she decides then, a pleased smile on her lips, there's no way he knows one on this topic.
"Are you a beaver?" he asks, smiling at her. "Uhm.." Donna mumbles, not sure how to answer, but before she can he continues, "because daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn." She lets out a genuine laugh, throwing her head back in the process and he just watches her.
"Why aren't you out there with someone?" he asks then in a sudden moment of clarity. She looks at him, frowning and shaking her head. She's not even going to answer that, how after all that's happened he could make a comment like that, especially not since both of them are drunk and this isn't a pick up line. "You know, have hot random sex. Just for one night." She lets out a sigh. "Harv, that might be something you would do, but not me."
He lets out a laugh, "don't you know what they say?" he asks her and she shakes her head. She's looking at his sparkling eyes again and she's not willing to believe she's actually asking this. "Say what, Harvey?" she whispers.
"Red on the head, a fire in bed," he exclaims with a laugh. Cleary finding his own joke very funny and she now downs her glass of red wine. "You're impossible," she fires back as she still feels his eyes burning her skin. "Well it's –"
"Don't you dare say –"
"True," he interrupts her again, "cause it is," he adds still smiling like a Cheshire cat. "Ooh shut up," she adds pushing him back to the other end of the couch, because somehow he had moved closer to her without even noticing it. Pulling back her own hands directly after, the heat radiating from his body making her a bit uneasy and she gets up from her couch again. If she's going to get through this night she needs something to drink.
"Why are you even here?" she asks again then, he never really answered that question when he showed up at her door. He looks at her, biting his lip and he sighs. Not finding the words he so desperately wants to say, or needs to say for that matter. "I.. I wanted to make sure you're okay," he mumbles then.
She lets out a nervous laugh. There was that tone again, just like the day after he told her he loved her. Because I wanted to make you feel better. "Harvey I told you, I don't want your –"
"Donna, I don't. You know I don't."
"Then why? Why are you here?" she mumbles again filling the glass in his hand for the fourth time. "Don't you have someone to hang out with. You know, hot random sex?" she adds, using his words now. "Scottie maybe," she adds.
"Scottie and I are over, Donna," he mumbles, "you know that."
"Do I?" an nearly inaudible whisper voices her thoughts.
"I don't want random sex. Not anymore," he whispers, his eyes avoiding hers as he looks at the glass in his hand again. He makes this circular motion and his eyes trace the small wave the wine makes in it. "I want," but he pauses again.
She looks at him. The way his arms are leaning on his knees, how he's bend forward a bit. His shoulders hanging low and her eyes meet his for a brief second as he looks at her over his own shoulder and this time it's her letting out a sigh. She feels like they've been here once before. Only a couple of months ago and she can't have another one of those moments. Not if this moment has the same outcome as the one before. "What do you want?" she voices her thoughts, the look in his eyes making her swallow.
You. His mind screams you, but he feels his heart starting to beat faster in his chest by the way her gaze is fixed on his. So he breaks the contact, eyeing the numerous bouquets and gifts in front of him again and he lets out a sigh. How can he say he wants her when he can't even bring a gift like that himself. He doesn't deserve her, he knows that.
She lets out another sigh. You either can't answer or you won't. "I think you should go," she mumbles then getting off the couch and his head turns towards her again. His eyes pleading this time, because of all the scenarios he imagined to happen. This wasn't one of them. "Donna," he whispers begging.
"Harv," she mumbles again, "please.. please just go," she adds this time, her arms signalling the door. He crooks his head, looking at her searching for a reason. And even though he already knows why, he still comments. "Donna, I .."
"Harvey," she sighs again, her eyes directed to the floor this time, "if you can't answer that, please .."
"Donna," he begs getting off the couch and walking towards her, his hand trying to reach for hers but she pulls back. "No, you don't get to 'Donna' me if you can't answer," she replies. "D.." but he swallows in the rest of her name, "I.. I don't know how–"
"What do you want, Harvey?!" she exclaims this time, tears forming in her eyes. "What. Do. You. Want! Why did you come over, Harvey? Why?"
"You know why, Donna," he breathes. His head crooked again and his eyes searching for hers, but this time he doesn't see her shaking her head. "Because I –"
"Because you love me?"
"Yes," he answers then, causing her to stare at him this time, her mouth agape. Somehow she didn't imagine him saying that again. He takes another step towards her. "I do love you, Donna."
"How?" she asks again. Just like the other time. And it might be a stab in the back, but she needs to know. "Love me how?"
"Donna .." but the words stick ll fail him. "Out!" she exclaims this time, her fingers falling around the door knob. Opening it in one big swing. "Go, Harvey… just go!"
He presses his lips together, his eyes a bit glassy as he walks towards her. "Donna, please.." he begs again, but all he sees is her shaking her head as she looks at the floor. He lets out a sigh as his feet drag him outside of her apartment. She pushes the door shut the second he's out, letting her own back rest to it as the tears start to stream. They're back to where they were, feelings and words exchanged, but no real change.
His eyes burn by the cold wind of the Manhattan streets and he curses himself for walking away once again, but she told him to leave, didn't she? He's confused, hurt and wherever he looks he's confronted with couples holding hands. An image he never pictured for himself, but all he wants is to hold her hand. Tell her he loves her, kiss her. Just hold her in his arms and never let her go again.
That's when realisation hits him. She stuck around for twelve years. She loves you. Once again he forgot to fight, to fight when it got hard. Something she did do for him all those years, and even now after everything they've already been through. "Fuck," he exclaims.
She lets her arms, the ones that were hugging her own legs as she was leaning against her front door, fall and wipes away the tears from her cheeks. She'd been waiting there, right in front of the door, for that small chance he might have changed his mind. For the chance he'd come back, but her eyes drift to the clock on the wall again and it's been ten minutes. He's not coming back.
She lets out a sigh, lifting herself from the floor, but she doesn't move away. Not just yet. "Forget about H-" she mumbles to herself when three knocks on the door make her jump up on her place. She turns around still angry and opens the door in one firm swing, wanting to yell at him. Call him names, maybe even punch him.
But the second she sees him, balloons and a teddy bear in his left hand, a humongous bouquet of red roses in his other hand and that smile she fell in love with on his lips, her heart skips a beat. "Harvey," she mumbles, lost for words.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, "You know I'm bad at explaining how I feel, especially when it comes to you. I tried Donna, I tried to find the words. You've no idea how often I tried, but there are just no words for the way I feel about you."
"So I bought this, I should have done that when I came over earlier obviously, but .." he pauses handing her the flowers and the teddy bear. "… yeah, this.." he stops for a second eyeing the objects as he lets the balloons go inside her apartment, "..this is how," he explains as he watches her place down the object on the table next to them.
He takes another step towards her, a smile on his lips as he reaches for her hand. Pulling her closer until he hold her in his arms, her hands resting on his torso and she's looking up at him. He smiles as their eyes lock, whispering: "I love you, Donna."
She pushes herself up on her toes, bringing her lips to his, while her arms move around his neck. "I love you too, Harvey," she whispers before she kisses him.
He lifts her up, making her wrap her legs around him as he carries her to her bedroom. Their lips not leaving the others for a second, until he lays her down. Throwing his own jacket off before he hovers above her again. "No. Cheesy. Pick. Up. Lines. This. Time," she mumbles in between kisses as her fingers unbutton his dress shirt.
"No," he whispers in her ear, leaving a trail of kisses down her jaw until he reaches her lips again. His hand trailing down her curves, until his fingers hook under her thigh pulling her closer. "Really," she giggles as she feels him pressing against him. "What?" he mumbles looking in her eyes.
She gives him a mischievous smile as her fingers caress his bare torso. "Is that cupids arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"