You Evil Son Of A-

Disclaimer: Properties are owned by their respective owners.

"Condolences; you have failed in your quest and fallen to foes you never knew you had. The 'Eye of The Moon Plan' has failed. However, here at the end of your life you are given another chance to do whatever you desire. I recommend checking the options menu before you start anew."

"Who are you?" I ask, strangely more curious than disturbed. Though I was no stranger to death, it was never a pleasant experience and I most certainly had never experienced this.

"I am the user interface for the game you now call life. You were never aware of this because up until now you have never truly died and the HUD is disabled by default. Your life is and always has been a game. There are many benefits to this and very few true drawbacks. Common side effects of learning of this fact include, but are not limited to: Unquenchable lust for power, desire to murder others for Exp, psychopathic tendencies, short-term thoughts of and/or aspirations of Godhood, antisocial behavior, and committing mass murder. I don't think you'll have any real issue with these though…"

"So what exactly does this mean for me?"

"Look to your left."

I dubiously followed the strange intelligences guidance and saw another box; this one with a list of options instead of advice.


New Game

New Game+


The Load button was grayed out and I could not interact with it.

"Press Options"

I was significantly less dubious now (after checking over thirty two thousand times for genjutsu and finding none) I selected as instructed and was met by the following options.





"You should go through all of these but I recommend checking Gameplay first."

Shrugging, I tapped Gameplay and was somehow very happy and immensely dissatisfied with what I saw.

Difficulty: Survival

HUD: Disabled

Thought Commands: Disabled

Subtitles: Disabled

Guide: Disabled

"Subtitles will visually show you what people within your hearing are saying; might be useful; might distract you. Turn on the HUD and Thought Commands or else this whole thing will be pointless or at least way more difficult than it has to be."

At this point I was barely coherent and just near blindly following the Guide's advice. Turning both on I opted to turn the difficulty all the way down to very easy, because fuck failing ever again. Losing sucks and I don't fucking care about fairness at this point.

"A wise decision, but don't forget to enable me or you'll be on your own for figuring this all out once you start anew."

Starting to come to at this point, I simply decided this was most likely a good idea; besides who wants to lose their only lifeline?

"Alright, now go through the rest of the options before you decide what to do next."

After briefly looking through the other options I returned to the main menu, starting to understand the depths of what I have stumbled into.

"Now you must decide between starting completely over as either yourself or someone else with none of your abilities or keeping your abilities. I would think this an easy choice"

"Keeping my powers, and fuck it, I'm gonna start anew somewhere else. I have died too many times in the pursuit of peace to give a shit anymore; nobody wants peace? Well fuck them then; they can have endless war and suffering for all I care." So I was rather indignant about dying again, sue me. Pressing New Game+, I felt an odd sensation of falling and twisting. When the feeling stopped, the first sensation that reached me was the smell of sea water.