390AN: Hope you all have a great week! I'll post again next week :)
Carlos Mañoso
December 20, 2003
To: Stephanie Plum
Subject: Re: Legal guardianship
I should have talked to you. Abuela and I thought she would be able to care for Julie longer. I guess I'm in shock that she had heart problems and is now in cardiac rehab. She's always been there for me. To me, my mortality seemed more at risk than hers. So that's why I didn't talk to you sooner. I really thought Abuela would be okay with Julie for a while longer. That's selfish, I know, but I think most people take for granted that the people who raised them will always be around.
This is really a conversation that needs to take place face-to-face, but I'll try to explain some now.
After Abuela, you are my first choice to watch Julie. Though for you, I hoped it wouldn't come to this. You're still in college and I know it's asking a lot to care for my daughter. You're not the one that made a poor decision. While I wouldn't trade Julie for anything in the world, ideally I would have had her when I was older. But I haven't been the one that's really had to deal with the consequence (Or gift, because Julie is the ultimate of blessings.) of having a child. As you know, with my enlistment, I haven't had the opportunity to be a hands-on father. My life hasn't really changed, but ultimately yours will. It probably already has. And I can't thank you enough for caring for Julie. Words can't express my gratitude.
Julie needs a female role model in her life, preferably one who has an inner strength that most people don't have. Abuela has that and so do you. I think you're probably a stronger person than Abuela; you've dealt with more at such young ages than she has. And you are still living your life, have goals, and are the best person I know. Most people would have screwed up lives and be cynical if they were in your shoes. You're the most accepting, loving person I know. I should add forgiving to that list now. But still, I didn't want or feel comfortable to ask you to watch Julie for a myriad of reasons. I know I messed up everything between us. To ask you to care for Julie is asking for too much. I know that. Besides the fact that I thought…I hoped that Abuela could care for Julie longer, that is why I didn't talk to you about this. It was definitely presumptuous for me to talk to the lawyer before talking to you, but I wanted to start that just in case something happened to me. My will is up-to-date, but Julie's custody wasn't. Obviously.
I hope we can talk while you're in GA. The doctors said we can return to base on Christmas Eve. Can we talk then? Or soon after?
Forever yours,
Carlos
P.S. Listen to Billy Joel's "A Matter of Trust".