The United Confederation of People With Too Much Time On Their Hands


Minecraft: A Love Story

We present for your perusal a love story in three dimensions, but no curves. Our story begins in the Minecraft world, in a desert biome that is unusually large. Two players spawn, strangers in this strange land, spawn close together slap-bang in the middle of a biome that takes three days to walk across and offers neither resources nor shelter. They decide that the only way to get through this, is together. And really, isn't that what love is all about?

We have taken a few creative liberties, and the story will deviate somewhat from normal Minecraft gameplay. However, this story remains true to the essence of the game.

The rhyme and meter scheme is taken from Lewis Carroll's The Hunting of the Snark, which can be read for free online.

We are legally obligated to inform you we have no creative rights to anything we are writing about.

The Journey Begins

The desert was dry.
The sand dunes burned hot,
With no life to be found in the place.
And the biome extended
Beyond the horizon,
Whichever direction you faced.

Not a tree to be seen.
Not a rock to crawl under.
No water in puddle or pond.
It could not be expected
To survive in this place.
So, naturally, here's where they spawned.

Two different players
Popped into the world,
Appearing a few blocks away.
These strangers regarded
Each other, surprised,
And wondered: "How would this thing play?"

Thought One of the Other:
"Do we go separate ways
To never be met with again?"
Thought the Other of One:
"Should I beat him up
Steal his stuff after he's slain?"

They pondered their options.
They weighed all the risks.
And finally, it was agreed.
They would travel together
Across the horizon.
To the setting sun, they would proceed.

Side by side they marched
Straight on through the desert;
Never varied an inch right or left.
But the sand and the scrub
Seemed to go on forever.
The horizon, of hope still bereft.

Surely a desert
Can't go on forever.
It should give way to water or trees.
But hour after hour,
They saw nothing else,
But a desolate sand-colored sea.

The sunlight turned red.
The shadows grew long.
A full moon climbed into the sky.
In the dark of the night,
The monsters would rise.
Our heroes were both going to die.

They had not seen all day
The least vestige of rock
To carve out a shelter and hide.
Nor saw they a tree
To whittle a torch
To use the light it would provide.

No hole to crawl into.
No light in the dark.
What to do, they could not tell.
Then they both heard
Zombie groans behind them,
And decided they should run like hell.

They bounded and ran
From zombies and spiders;
Escaping by margins and narrows.
They zig-zagged away
From skeleton's aim,
Which (somehow) could shoot them with arrows.

Frantic and scared
Without light to see,
One fell down into a pit.
As he tumbled and crashed,
Zombies followed him down.
He thought this was, as they say, "it".

Trapped in a hole
Filling with the undead,
He thought he would die in this place.
Then, from above,
The Other jumped in
Landing on a zombie's face.

With renewed vim and vigor,
They shot out of the hole;
Frightened, and tired, but all right.
And then, hand in hand,
These, now life-long, friends
Ran screaming into the night.