Disclaimer: Dream Works and Cressida Cowell own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.

"ASTRID! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" was not something I was expecting to say today. Or ever.

My girlfriend nuzzled up to me, cooing and then LICKING THE ENTIRE LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY. Ugh. Why did she do that? Why? I wiped the saliva off my face.

I turned my head around and spotted Fishlegs eying Meatlug. I quickly broke off and had to go between both my oldest friend and his dragon.

Fishlegs looked back at me with a tilted head, Meatlug looking at her rider with a bit more trepidation.

But my troubles weren't ending. I quickly had to snatch away my bag from Snotlout who set the thing on fire. Can't say it's any different than usual. I groaned, putting the fire out. "Ugh, not again!"

And that was when the twins both of them tumbled their way through the entire group while fighting over a fish the size of a man. I had to step in and try wrestling the thing out of their grip, only for them to slip, causing the thing to swallow my head.

Toothless seemed to laugh at my expense. I eyed my dragon. "Very funny." I told him, while I took the thing off my head.

Okay, maybe by now you guys are wondering why the Hel I'm having such a hard time controlling my friends. I mean, sure, normally, it's Snotlout and the Twins causing havoc, but today was something special. REALLY special.

Oh, you haven't read between the lines. Okay, let me spell it out for you: my friends all turned into dragons! Don't believe me?

Astrid was a Nadder, mostly blue and some yellow. Bolder colors than Stormfly. She sat right by her friend, preening herself to make herself look more attractive...in her mind.

Fishlegs the green Gronkle was big, and green, and...well... a Gronkle. He was a bit bigger than Meatlug, who he was still trying to woo despite her obvious discomfort and confusion.

Snotlout the red Nightmare was a bit brighter red than Hookfang. He was a bit brawnier too, as if all of that muscle he was so proud translated to proportionately more buffness as a dragon.

Ruffnut and Tuffnut were both now fused into a Zippleback. I… don't know what pronoun to use for them anymore. I mean, how does this even work?
...No I'm NOT looking down there!

Now you're probably wondering how it got this way.

It all started this morning, in a saner world….

"Wow, what're these?" questioned Fishlegs, looking down the lid of random barrel.

"Ah, those?" Trader Johann said. "Those are… Pity-ayas… or 'dragon-fruit' as they call them in the Orient. I'm not sure why, myself."

I picked a pinkish looking… bulb and casually tossed the thing in my hands. Seemed like a good value, I thought. They looked fresh too, not pickled either. "How much do these cost?"

The merchant did a thoughtful pose. "Well, I do still owe you from last time… I guess I can offer a barrel. I got more where that came from that I do!"

Okay. I thought that was a good deal. So I shook my hands with the merchant. I was thinking some exotic fruit from a far away land ought to have been a good snack for this trip I was planning. It was just going to be one of those days where we stayed away from town for the night, just us friends camping out under the stars on some deserted island. With our dragons.

Once we were at said island, I pulled out some fruits for everyone to enjoy (Dad had insisted I leave the majority behind).

"So what're these?" my girlfriend asked as she examined the fruit in her mitts.

"Trader Johann called them 'Dragonfruit'," I told her.

Astrid shrugged and took a bite.

"They don't look like dragons, Hey Ow!" Tuffnut earned a slap to the head from his sister.

Ruffnut caught the friend as it left his hand and took a bite. "Because they look like fruits, you idiot!"

Tuffnut grumbled something and then took one of his.

Fishlegs weighed the fruit in his hands and took a bite. "I wonder if these would be good when pulped." He then held the fruit over to Meatlug and offered it to her. "Want some?"

She sniffed it and gobbled the remainder of the fruit up.

I was about to eat one of the things myself, but then Toothless called out to me.

I put the fruit down and went over to my dragon. "What's wrong?"

Toothless let out a whine and then pointed at his mechanical fin. He'd broke it… again.

I sighed. "You gotta be more careful with it. We don't have that many parts to fix it."

My dragon whined.

I patted his belly and worked out some repairs here and there. He groaned contently, like an overgrown cat. Sometimes I wonder if he breaks things just to get my attention.

But before I could really work on my dragon's fin to a reasonable degree, I heard someone let out a hacking cough. I raised my head and saw my friends bending over and holding their stomachs, with looks of pain. "Uh, guys is something wrong?" They didn't reply.

Astrid fell to the ground, knees dug into the dirt.

I dropped what what I was doing and then went over to Astrid, Toothless behind me.

I heard the sound of fabric tear open and Astrid… Astrid licked me.

I was sent back by a burst of her arms, just as they grew to humongous size and became wings. Within seconds, my girlfriend was a Nadder.

Looking to the others, I was startled as Fishlegs's... err, girth expanded rapidly as he turned green, knobby, and Gronkle-y. The twins fell on top of each other, inflating and meshing until you couldn't tell any part of them apart bar the heads. Snotlout just GREW, erupting into flame momentarily before falling to all fours, snarling as a Nightmare.

I just... stared. My friends had turned into dragons... more specifically, dragons like the ones they rode. It was… inexplicable now that I think about it. I mean what are odd that that would happen? Was it random what they turned into? Or maybe it was based on their dragons. I don't know… maybe if I ended up changing along with them, I might have been a Night Fury. I wasn't thinking about any of that though when they all celebrated their new forms by making a mess.

Which leads us back to where we are right now, me, the only human in a group of dragons. My friends' clothes were scattered all over the place, torn and in tatters, their bodies far too large to need them.

Astrid is… trying to flirt with me I guess. That was weird; I liked more attention from my girlfriend, but that was now how I wanted it. I really hope Fishlegs and Meatlug weren't getting too close, not the sort of thing I want to tell him when he changes back… if ever. It was kind of weird to think the only ones acting like themselves at all were the twins and Snotlout...

"Guys!" I called out.

My friends responded by giving me a brief look… before quickly turning their gazes back at whatever chaos they wanted to instill. I really don't know what happened to my friends; it was like they… were actually dragons now.
And not the trained variety.

Toothless approached me with a gleeful look in his eyes over to the pinkish fruit I left behind. He nudged it a few times.

"No." I said flatly. My friends were all dragons and I don't think they were all that bright right now. Someone has to watch them, make sure they stay out of trouble. Ugh, when Trader Johann said that these things were called "dragonfruit" are they really supposed to turn people into dragons?

Toothless whined again. He really wanted me to try the thing. He was probably looking at how much "fun" the other dragons were having and was hoping I could end up joining him.

"... Maybe another time," I told him. Hopefully he'd understand. I mean, maybe it might be fun, assuming I could turn back. I mean, most people don't get that kind of experience, I think. And maybe I could try out flying or something… Although, I get the feeling that if I ever bring up this story back at home, as a prank, everyone I know would turn me into a Night Fury just to see what happens.

And that was IGNORING how my friends were acting right now.

I had to break up the pair of Gronckles yet again. Fishlegs and Meatlug in particular worried me. Now, I know it's nowhere near mating season, but I am kind of afraid of what might happen if I left the two of them alone. Hopefully, I was just worrying about things too much.

I suddenly found some force lift me off the ground, raising me by my jacket, whilst a second force tugged at my trousers. "Woah!" I quickly decided to abandon my jacket in favor of my pants; dragons or no, I was not going to let my friends see me like that.

I fell out my jacket, landing face first into the dirt. I spat out some dirt, regretting that I was actually able to think about my situation. I turned over to the one… well, duo responsible for my most recent bout of suffering. "Give me that back!" I raised a clenched fist over to Ruffnut and Tuffnut, who proudly grinned at their prize. Or maybe it was Barf and Belch? I can't tell anymore.

The other zippleback nearby responded by letting out a mad chuckle, in approval. He… it… uh, they ran off, prompting the one that stole my tunic to follow them.

I picked myself up and dusted myself, cursing whatever god was responsible for this madness.

Toothless looked at me with a happy smile.

"Thanks for letting them go," I gave him quip.

Toothless's smile did not break. Yeah, totally did this just to have me spend more time with him!

I then nearly ended up getting knocked onto the ground again, by a large tail that could have flattened me. Snotlout, as always, was attempting to coerce Astrid into doing something with him, tongue drooping out of his mouth like an eager dog, tail shaking everywhere.

Astrid replied by unfurling her spiked tail and wings in an aggressive posture. Snotlout understandably backed away after that.

Hookfang and Stormfly looked at the duo with an almost bored expressions. To be fair, they did kind of see this happening a mile away. Why was it that my friends' dragons acted more human than they did right now?

Astrid, once Snotlout was running away with his tail between his legs…literally, turned her attention over to me.

I gulped and then I decided I wanted to make myself scarce right about now. I dashed over and hid behind Toothless, hoping my dragon's enormous girth would protect me. He looked at me with a curious expression.

Astrid approached my dragon and then went over to his left. I moved to keep my dragon between me and my girlfriend. Odin, have times changed… I can't believe I found myself in a situation where I would want to stay away from Astrid! Astrid kept coming, turning around my dragon in an attempt to "find" me. She then quickly turned the other way, giving me only a second to correct myself before she could flush me out. I kept hidden, playing cat and mouse with my own girlfriend. In any other context, this might have been romantic.

Toothless must have been looking at us both and decided we were both being fools, or at least I was. He then got up, and moved away from me and my Nadder of a girlfriend, blowing whatever cover I had.

Astrid let out a happy cry and then tackled me to the ground, sending me a flurry of licks once I was pinned safely under her "caring" feet.

"You traitor…" I told my dragon, looking into his eyes.

Toothless shone me his teeth in an expression that told me he knew exactly what he was doing… I wish I did.

Astrid let her hold on the rest of my body slip…. but that was just because she wanted to grab me by my fake leg and drag me off somewhere. Probably somewhere more private.

I didn't bother fighting… this time. I kind of learned early on that if Astrid wanted me to do something… I go along with it. I'm betting that as a Nadder, that same rule probably applied.

Oh Odin, this is not how I wanted to spend my afternoon...

End: For those who do not know "Dragonfruit" actually exists. But it obviously does not turn you into a dragon. At least, I don't remember if it does.

Ket: It doesn't.

End: Maybe not the common garden variety…

Ket: *evil grin*

End: In any case, for those who don't know. Most HtTYD stories that involve people turning into dragons often go with Hiccup first and always into a Night Fury… for reasons. This is one of the few times where… everyone else does it first.

Ket: And no, they aren't entirely... human in mind anymore.
ACK you lot probably don't know me. Right, well-

End: Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don't want to make this note bigger than the whole story.