Okay, hello everyone! This fic has taken me way longer than I anticipated, but I'm glad I've seen 5.15 before finishing and you'll get why when reading. I want to thank Cece for making me watch When Harry Met Sally, if you haven't watched it yet..do! Anyway.. Here's the fic, I hope you all like it and maybe leave a review? x
When Harvey met Donna
And I came here tonight, because when you realize you want to spend the rest
of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
"Donna," he calls her, his head turning in the direction of her cubicle when there's no reply. No witty remark, no nod, no redhead entering his office. Just nothing. His eyes linger on the empty chair, the computer screen turned off and for a second he feels his breath faltering. The images of her sitting there that morning flashing by, her auburn locks tied together in a ponytail. Something he remembers, not because it's different from her usual hair style, but because he caught himself being distracted by her exposed neck. The collar of his white dress shirt now feeling too tight, too close, too suffocating.
His hands search for support on his own desk as he feels his heart rate increasing in his chest, his vision starting to blur. The sound of every beat filling his mind until he closes his eyes, blocking those images of the first time she walked away. "I love you, Harvey," the words sounding foreign, but her voice the only thing he can hear.
He lets out a deep breath. "She's back," he mumbles. Not once, not twice, but a dozen of times. Like a new mantra, he keeps repeating the words until he finally feels calm again. It the midst of this crazy case she still seems to be the only thing that can ground him. The only one that can crush him.
He lets out another breath, slowly opening his eyes as he looks around his office again. His eyes lingering on her empty desk once more; and he knows now that he clearly isn't there yet. That there was more behind him opening up to Scottie about the help he's been getting. Not because she was the one he wanted to tell, but because it was easier. Because she couldn't break him, like the redhead could and still can, he realizes now.
Pushing back his chair, his eyes slowly drift back to his own desk. Only spotting the small yellow piece of paper when he lets himself sink back on the black leather of his desk chair. A small smile forming on his lips, because he knows it's from her. He doesn't have to see it, he just knows and mumbles "she's back," one last time before his fingers lift up the post it note.
He reads the first too lines, something about her moving a meeting, a couple of files she copied and his eyes scan his desk finding the corresponding objects, until his eyes fall on the last line again.
Not feeling well. Went home, sorry. – D
Even though he doesn't want to, he feels his lips curl up. She just went home, he repeats to himself as he looks at the work in front of him again. There's so much still to be done and yet without her being here the task feels even more undoable than it already was.
He lets out another sigh as he reads the same line for the umpteenth time that day, his mind still drifting off to her. To Donna, like it always had. And as much as he needs and wants to work on this case, he can't. He simply can't, he decides, his hand already bringing the screen of his laptop down.
Wrapping the sweater around her shoulders she brings the tissue back to her running nose, she can't believe this happened to her. She's never sick, but then again she never made such as stupid decision before. Getting drunk and kissing that guy that was way too young for her and obviously the one with a cold, but was it really her fault. After all her boss, no the man she loved, just said.. She can't even think about it anymore, but she'll never tell him or anyone else for this matter how she got sick.
"It's none .. *cough* … of his business," she mumbles out loud, her hand reaching for her throat, as a shiver runs down her spine. It's not like he – her thoughts interrupted by the sound of someone knocking at her door, and she closes her eyes. "Cares," she coughs, her feet carrying her towards the door.
"Harv –" the rest of his name disappearing under the sound of her coughing and she looks at him, a million different questions running through her mind, but neither of them are being voiced. "Hi," he mumbles, holding the white paper bag in front of him and she lets her shoulders hang down as another shudder runs down her back.
"Thai?" she mumbles crooking her head and clearing her throat. "Harvey I…" she shakes her head, but he mimics her original move, his lips pressed into a thin smile as his head leans against her door post. "I brought groceries," he mumbles as he watches her step aside to let him in. "I .. I thought I could cook for you," he adds looking over his shoulder as he hears her cough again, "are you okay?"
She nods closing her eyes for a second before she looks at him again. "Cook?" she mumbles, the way she raises her eyebrows at him causing him to smile. "Yes, cook," he replies placing the bag on her dining room table, his gaze moving to the left then, seeing her two big hazel eyes staring at him and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing. She clearly doesn't believe him, that much he knows.
He slowly shakes his head before making his way to her kitchen, a route he's never been able to forget. Not since the first time he was at her place. His fingers flicker through the bags as the sound of the water boiling echoes through the room, his eyes falling on the small orange piece of paper on the right. "Vanilla," he mumbles with a smile, before returning to the living room. The cup of tea he made her in his hand.
He spots her still standing there, on the exact same spot he'd left her. She's looking at the bag of groceries, the way her brows crease giving away how she still doesn't believe this is happening. "I'm not going to poison you," he comments and she looks up at him closing her eyes for a second as she realizes how he's able to do that too. To read her, her mind, answer her without questions being pronounced.
"Here," he mumbles as he turns towards her, her finger tops just touching his for the slightest of seconds as the cup is moved from his hand to hers. A small smile forming on both their lips as both of them ignore the moment, her by taking a sip of the tea he's made her and him by taking of his suit jacket.
His hands fall around the paper bag again, lifting it of the table as he asks he whether she has an apron or not. She shakes her head, trying to hide her smile. "Do I look like … *cough* … someone that spends a lot of time … *cough* … in the kitchen?" she questions him and he crooks his head again, giving her one of those looks she knows all too well. "Don't even – "
"The shrimps were great," he laughs as she watches him walk towards her kitchen, closing her eyes for a second after he disappeared from her sight again. Reliving the memories to that god awful dinner party and she can't help but smile.
He rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, placing the cutting board in front of him soon after. Finding the rest of the kitchen utensils without much problem, like he's done this a million time before. And he has, in his head he has.
She tries to move to the kitchen without making a sound, her left shoulder leaning against one of the cupboards as she watches him move around. The way the muscles of his arm clench every time the knife moves up and down. The small smile on his lips giving away how much he's enjoying this.
"Donna," he acknowledges her as he feels her eyes burning his skin like only she could. He looks over his shoulder then, his eyes meeting hers and he crooks his head a bit further as he sees her standing there. Her hands still hugging the cup of tea he'd given her. "Didn't I tell you to sit down," he mumbles his head turning towards the ingredients in front of him again.
She coughs in the midst of her laugh, taking a sip of her tea soon after. "I…" she mumbles taking a step towards him. "What are you making?" she whispers changing the subject, because it's not that she doesn't want to sit down, or feels the need to help. It's not that she doesn't like being taken care of, if she has to be honest, she just wants to be near him. "Chicken soup," he mumbles, "I know it normally takes a long time to make this, but –"
"If you use this," she mumbles handing him one of the ingredients from the bag, "it will be done in no time," she finishes his sentence. He looks at her again, surprised this time. "He told you?" he mumbles and she nods, "yeah, he did."
Harvey lets out a laugh, shaking his head as he continues cutting the vegetables. "What?" she mumbles, questioning his reaction. "Nothing," he breathes, "it's.. it's just.. he never even told Marcus and.. well, he's the one with the restaurant after all."
She smiles as she sees his eyes lit up by the way he talks about his family, she doesn't get to see this side of him very often. "Why?" she whispers and he lets out a breath. Taking a second to think about his answer. "We.. uhm.. we all had these secret recipes," he mumbles recalling the memories. "Secret?" he hears her inquire. "Yeah," he nods, "like our favourite dishes for .. I don't know.. after a baseball game, a birthday or.. or when we were sick and he.." he pauses for a second closing his eyes as he thinks about his old man, "..he made us those dishes, but he never told me what Marcus got or the other way around.. and.. and yet, he –"
"Told me?" she whispers pressing her lips in a thin smile as her eyes meet his once more. "Yeah," he smiles as his hand stirs the wooden spoon around again. "Here," he mumbles changing the subject as he holds the spoon up in front of her. His eyes fixated on her as he watches her slightly part her lips, taking the spoon in her mouth at the same time as her eyes close and he catches himself biting his own lip.
"And?" he asks, trying to recover himself, placing the spoon in the sink. "Wow," it's the first thing she can think of, "that's.. perfect," she whispers. "See," he gloats, "told you I could cook."
"Yeah, you can Specter," she mumbles, "if this case goes to shit you … *cough*… you could always go and work for Marcus," she teases him and he just looks at her shaking his head. "Very funny, Paulsen," he mumbles, telling her to sit down again, as he reaches for two bowls as he follows her to the dining table.
"Bon appétit," he whispers placing the now filled bowl with chicken soup in front of her. "Thank you, Harvey," she answers with a smile as she takes another bite of the baguette he brought along. "Anything, Donna," he murmurs, taking her in for a few seconds before that question regarding Gordon occupies his mind again. "Why did he tell you?" he asks her, not even knowing if she knows the answer to it.
"Remember that case," she starts letting out a breath, "the winter right after we moved to the firm … *cough*… and it snowed so hard, well.. you're dad.. he …*cough*… uh he called and he told this story about how you got sick as a kid when this snowstorm hid the city and how the only thing you wanted to eat –"
"was chicken soup," he laughs, "yeah…" he adds shaking his head. "He was worried," she whispers then with a smile as she watches him enjoy another spoon of the soup he made.
"Harvey," she whispers, "why are you here? You have this big case you need to work on and only like a week to fix it," she mumbles. "I know, but –"
"But what?" she interrupts him. "When.. when you said that I … that I need you, I… I do," he pauses for a second, "I … I just figured it's better to stop for a night and make sure you're okay and back at the office tomorrow –"
"Wow, Specter," she exclaims then, "you really… *cough* … know how to make a woman feel special," she rolls her eyes. "Donna," he mumbles, dishes in his hands as he lets his shoulders fall in defeat, "I… I'm sorry.. I didn't mean -"
"Harv," she mumbles shaking her head as she gets up from the table herself, the wooden chopping board in her hands, "it's okay," she adds in that same tone he had said those same words to her a hundred times before. Shoulders hanging low his head slowly shakes from left to right as his hand takes the board from hers, "just let me…" the rest of the words not leaving his lips as he walks back to her kitchen.
He lets out a sigh, his hands pressed down the counter top. Her face still being the only thing he sees, until he lifts his gaze. His eyes falling on the small green object on the window sill and he swallows, not even sure why he came over in the first place.
He's going over the words in his head, not once or twice.. but as long as he needs to regain his posture. "Donna, I –" he stops as he walks back with two cups of tea now, his mouth dropping for a second as he takes her in. The way she's sitting on that couch again, her eyebrows raised as she's waiting for him to continue to talk.
He sees the files then. The ones he brought along, the ones in her hands and he swallows. "Donna, don't," he tells her. "I want to help," she offers, but he shakes his head. "No, I didn't come here to make you work," he whispers his hand extending the cup towards her, the slightest brush of fingers as she takes it from his hand. Him taking away the files right after. She looks at him for a second, the way he's still standing. "You don't have to stay, Harvey," she coughs, "I'm fine. Really-"
"Donna, I want.." he pauses letting out a sigh, "I'm not going anywhere," he tells her with a nod. "You're … you're more important than this case." "But it's –" "You are," he mumbles.
She gives him a small smile, looking up at him again. "You can sit down, you know," she offers moving one of the pillows behind her, moving to the spot he was sitting the last time he was in her apartment. Creating a bit more space between them, because she sees him swallow as he turns around. Sitting down next to her, his hands clenching around the cup of tea in the same way he was holding onto that wine glass months ago.
"It's not my fault if you're sick tomorrow though," she breaks the silence then, bringing the cup to her lips. "And why would that happen?" he counters, his eyes fixated on her. She crooks her head, her eyes meeting his for a second. "People tend to … *cough*… get sick … *cough* … when they spend a lot of time near.." her sentence remains incomplete as another cough overcomes her. "Well, I'm willing to take that risk," he answers bringing his own cup to his lips.
She watches him for a second, the way his Adams apple moves with every sip he's taking and the room around them falls into a silence. Quickly moving her gaze from him to the coffee table as she sees him turn towards her, but words remain unspoken.
"So.." she mumbles breaking the silence, her head shaking, "this is ridiculous.." she adds softly as she brings her knee up to the couch accidentally hitting her arm, spilling some tea on her shirt. "Ooh shit," she mumbles out loud placing the cup back on the table and Harvey lets out a laugh as he sees her freak out about the stain she just made on her shirt. He places his cup on the table too, looking over his shoulder towards her as she walks towards her bedroom. "Do you need-"
"No, just watch some TV," she answers him, "I'll be right back." He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, as he slowly turns around again. Letting his back rest against the couch as he searches for the remote. He flickers through some various channels, lingering around a baseball game until he hears her return.
His mouth slightly dropping before his lips curl up into a big smile. "I was wondering where I left that," he jokes then as she wraps her cardigan over his old Harvard shirt. "No you weren't," she laughs as she sits down next to him, her hands reaching for her cup again only to find it refilled again. "Thanks," she smiles as she looks to her left for a second.
"So," she starts again, "what were you watching?" she whispers then, this time carefully bringing her legs up on the couch. "There wasn't much, really," he answers handing her the remote. "Hmm," she clears her throat her fingers pressing the up button as she scrolls through the menu of her TV. "Well there's always Netflix an-"
"What?!" he mumbles swallowing, he's not sure if he heard that correctly. If she actually said that and if she did, did she mean what he knows it could mean. She lets out a laugh. "Like I said," she mumbles poking his arm with the remote, "how about you close your eyes and I … *cough* …. I'll scroll through the movie section until you say stop and if we both haven't seen it –"
"Deal," he nods before she can even finish her sentence, as he closes his eyes. "Okay.. are you going through them already?" he mumbles a few seconds later. "Yeah," she answers her eyes falling shut for a second before she looks at him again. The way his eyes are closed, that small smile on his lips. He seems so relaxed right now.
She closes her eyes again then, pushing away the thoughts of just moving closer towards him. To caress his face, to feel his lips on hers. "You do have to say stop," she mumbles out loud, more as a reminder to herself than him. "Stop," he mumbles, gradually lifting his eyelids only to stare into her eyes.
He slowly lifts his gaze again, breaking their eye contact as he looks at the screen in front of them. "When Harry Met Sally," he reads out loud, his eyebrows in a frown as he thinks about whether he's seen the movie or not. He doesn't see her swallow as she hears him say the title. She's seen it, once. But a million years ago. "Haven't seen it, you?" he mumbles looking at her as he keeps up his end of the deal.
"Uhm, no," she shakes her head not even realizing what she's saying as she feels the remote being lifted from her hand again. Hearing the opening tune flash trough the speakers as he must have hit the play button. She turns around slowly, her hands falling back around her cup as she leans against the sofa. Waiting for the movie to start, her eyes fixated on the screen but to be honest she doesn't know where to look. Of all movies this had to be the one.
He rolls his eyes as the movie starts with this couple confessing their love for each other. [Amanda: "Call me." Harry: "I'll Call you as soon as I get there." Amanda: "Call me from the road." Harry: "I'll call you before that."] Bullshit, he mumbles to himself as he wonders what this movie is going to be about.
[Sally: "It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex." Harry: "With whom?" Sally: "What?" Harry: "With whom did you have this great sex?"] He swallows, the question from Harry running through his mind and he can't help but mentally answer it to himself when his eyes turn to the right. Looking at her for just a second from the corner of his eye when his eyes close. The way Sally mentions the whipped cream as a pure confirmation of that question he'd just heard. It wasn't plenty, it was just one night, but it had been great. Maybe even better than great, the thought crosses his mind and he shakes his head pushing away the thoughts again, because "we put it out of our minds and we never mention it again," he reminds himself as he watches the two walk out of the diner again.
[Sally: "You can't take it back." Harry: "Why not?" Sally: "Because it's already out there."] She lets out a sigh remembering that conversation with Rachel in Harvey's office a couple of years back. "Because you can never go back," she recalls herself saying and she closes her eyes for a second, because deep down she knows that's true. She tried, she tried so hard to put it behind her. Not once, but at least twice now. Especially after just coming back to work for him again, the words that drove them apart being said in this very apartment. She watches the scene play out, the man and woman on the screen discussing that one thing they so desperately defined themselves to be, but are they?
[Sally: "We are just going to be friends, ok?" Harry: "Great! Friends! It's the best thing."] He feels her shift on the couch, his gaze falling on her for a couple of seconds when the voice of the male lead fills his ears again. [Harry: "You realise that we could never be friends and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form is that men and women can't be friends…"] and he swallows looking away again, he always considered her to be a friend. ["…cause the sex part always gets in the way. "]
He closes his eyes again, he shouldn't have looked at her, the images of the other time mixed with his more recent dreams flashing by before his eyes. [Harry: "Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her."] Swallowing once more, his eyes on the screen again as he feels his back fall into the couch, he can't believe he's watching a movie like this with her and all he hears is her "as your friend." Those words she had said to him during their dinner just over a month ago. He shakes his head, who was he kidding when he said he didn't want to be just on decent terms but back to being friends? Friends exactly what they are and yet, it's not enough.
Donna shakes her head as she watches the discussion about marriage going on on the screen in front of her. The way Sally said "You are getting married," somehow making her smile as she thinks about the man next to her. She never saw him as the marrying type, yet somehow she knows that deep down he is.
[Harry: "The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?"] "Is that true?" she whispers and his head turns towards her, "what?" he mumbles. "The 'can't wait to get out of bed' - thing.." she pauses, "I mean.. You're kind of like that.. So, is it?"
"I.. Donna.." She crooks her head, and he sees this look in her eyes that makes him want to answer. "I never stay the night. I don't cuddle and I.. ," he answers, it's a lie but only because she was the exception. He did all those things with her over a decade ago and it scared him to his core. But not as much as how he still wants to do that. He stops talking as he sees her swallow.. "But that's not me anymore," he whispers then," I want more now."
He smiles as the scene changes to the batting cages, bringing back some memories of the times he spend there with his father. Both playing side by side as the two man in the movie were currently doing. [Jess: "I don't understand this relationship." Harry: "What do you mean?" Jess: "You enjoy being with her?" Harry: "Yeah." Jess: "You find her attractive?" Harry: "Yeah." Jess: "And you're not sleeping with her." Harry: "No. " Jess: "You're afraid to let yourself be happy."] His eyes falling to the right once more as he thinks about the numerous questions his old man had asked him about her, but the one comment he made before her stuck in his mind. "If she's the one, you'll know."
"Am I.. Am I Harry?" he mumbles so softly she doesn't even hear it as she's still looking at the screen. He sees her shiver then and he pulls the blanket from behind him, placing it over her. "Ooh," she mumbles with a smile as she notices him now, "did you ask something?" she whispers looking down then. "Hmm," he sighs, "no.. No it's nothing."
Her hand moves to cover her face as she sees them enter the restaurant. She'd seen the movie before but this was definitely one of those scenes you'll never forget and watching it now, with him next to her. With her boss, her almost something. She swallows, thinking about all the other awkward moments they have already shared as the scene starts. [Sally: "Oh...Oh god...Ooo Oh God...Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh God... Oh yeah right there Oh! Oh...Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh... Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh... Oh... Oh God Oh... Oh... Huh..."]
"This is so fake," he laughs out loud and his eyes meet hers for a moment. She's got this devious smile on her face. "What?" he mumbles. "Like you'd know," she challenges him shaking her head. She isn't even sure why she's commenting on this. "I would know.." he counters then, his signature smirk appearing on his lips. "You sure?" she teases him. "Ooh I'm certain you.." he pauses his sentence as she lets out a laugh, leaving him surprised.
"I'm actress after all," she teases him and he frowns this time, shaking his head. She turns to her left, letting her side rest against the back rest as she closes her eyes, her breathing becomes heavier, her nails dig into the light blue couch as she lets out a moan..
"Oooh," he hears a moan escape her lips, head turning towards her, his mouth agape. "Donna?" he mumbles not sure what to do, but the way she breathes only becomes heavier. "Oooh yeah," she moans this time, throwing her head back in the process and he can't help but look at her, her exposed neck, those freckles he once used to kiss when she made the exact same noises as he was hearing now.
"Ha.. Aaarv..eey," his name escapes her lips as her right hand is pushed down the couch. He swallows again, closing his eyes for a second as he tries to block the images of her from the other time. Discretely placing his right leg over his left as her voice alone is having an effect on him now. Why did she have to say his name?
"Donna..." he mumbles her name again, a beg to stop her, but it's as if his voice is what's pushes her over the edge. "Fuck.. Ooh, ooh, God!" she exclaims letting out a heavy breath, and she lifts one eye as she feels his gaze still resting on her. She sees this surprised look on his face and she opens both eyes now, letting out a laugh.
"Still sure?" she gloats and he shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, I am.." he counters not giving in, but he'll never forget the way she said his name back then, the way her cheeks were slightly blushing and this sparkle in her eyes. "Okay," she fires back not willing to admit anything either, and she leans towards him a bit, stretching her arm as she reaches for the remote again, continuing the movie.
He bites the inside of his cheek, watching Harry and Sally dance. The way the male lead is holding the woman in his arms and it's the way he catches himself looking at her again from the corner of his eye as Harry closes his eyes on the screen. Taking in the moment he gets to spend with Sally, he realizes the answer to his own question. He's Harry.
She feels his eyes lingering on her skin again, "look at the screen," she mumbles without even turning her head. "I .. I am," he lies as his eyes focus on Meg Ryan again. "No you weren't," she gloats. "Donna," he mumbles then as he looks at her from the corner of his eyes again. "Is it bothering you this much," she laughs. "What?" he shakes his head.
"Whether it was fake or not," she smiles, raising her eyebrows as she looks at him. "No.. No," he answers. "Yes it I," she gloats once more and he gives her a warning look as he looks at the screen again. "Why can't you just admit that it is?" she argues then and he lets out a sigh facing hers. "Because you have that goddamn rule of yours and we agreed not to talk about it," he counters then, his voice harsher than he intended it to be.
She looks away then, her eyes on the screen again as she brings her arms around her own torso. He rolls his eyes and mimics her move, the room remains silent after that.
His jaw is still clenched from the outfall he had earlier, but he tries to focus on the movie playing out in front of him. His eyes rolling as he sees the four people argue about one of the ugliest coffee tables he's ever seen and he blesses himself with her taste in furniture, cause after all she'd been the one to decorate his apartment for him. A small smile creeping up on his face as he think back to those days nearly a decade ago. [Harry: "Are you finished now?" Sally: "Yes." Harry: "Can I say something?" Sally: "Yes." Harry: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he apologizes as he takes Sally in his arms, hugging her.]
He lets his elbows lean on his knees then, his head crooking to the right and he swallows the second he sees her. He just can't stay mad at this woman. "I'm sorry I snapped at you," he whispers, turning back as he places his hand on the couch. She looks at him again, her lips in a thin smile. As she mirrors his move, "I'm sorry I had that rule back then and yes it was real," she mumbles, her fingers scarping his.
"Had?" he mumbles as his hand covers her wrist. His thumb moving over her skin. She lets out a breath the second she feels his hand touching hers and she looks at him. "Had," she nods looking away at their hands, his still covering hers, "but that doesn't – " her sentence disturbed by another scene on the television and she turns her head away. He swallows letting out a sigh as he mirrors her move. Looking away, pulling back his hand, balling it into a fist to shake the tension.
She closes her eyes for a second, the image in front of her becoming a bit blurry. Her gaze resting on him when she regains her vision again. Her head feels heavy and she swallows as she studies him, his hand still lingering in between them and she's not sure if she's imagining it or if it's really happening, but his hands draws near her. Her chest tightens and her throat turns dry. Surprising herself with a cough her eyes flicker to the screen again as her upper body lapses forward. Her hand covering her mouth as she feels her throat tighten again.
His head snaps out of his thoughts and towards her. Hesitatingly he looks at her, his hand hovering in the blank space between them as his mind goes over the boundaries they once set, the ones he wants to break so desperately and yet he doesn't even know if they are still there. Hearing her cough once more is all that's needed for him to act, his arm moving faster than his brain can even register and his hand lands on her back.
She shivers under his touch, going from feeling cold to hot in only a second as she feels a weight lift from her shoulders by the way his hand moves up and down her back. She looks at him, her hand still covering her lips as she coughs once more, her watery eyes taking in how he moves closer. Her old self would have protested, maybe she's too weak now. Maybe deep down she likes how he's taking care of her for a change, either way, all she does is close her tired eyes as she fakes a smile at him.
He slowly shakes his head, his lips mirroring the motion hers just did as he lets the back of his left hand rest against her temple. "You're hot," he mumbles as his thumb brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know," she counters, her eyes still closed by his touch. "That's not.." he hesitates swallowing in the words he was about to say as he pulls back his hand. "Let me get you something," he adds letting go of her completely now, before he walks himself over to her kitchen.
"Here," he whispers as she sits down next to her again, a glass of water and some aspirins in his hand. "Thanks," she mouths as she takes the pills from his hand, swallowing them with a sip of water before she lets herself rest against the back of the couch again. Pulling the blanket over her again as she shivers again.
"You should lay down," he mumbles turning towards her a bit more, bringing his right hand to her back again, but she shakes her head. "No.." she whispers, "no I don't," laying her head down on the pillow behind her regardless. "Donn," he whispers sliding to the left of the couch, "just lay down," his hand still on her shoulders.
"Harv," she whispers in protest, but he doesn't even look at her, his eyes fixated on the screen again as he watches Harry comfort a crying Sally. "Look," he counters pointing at the screen. "If Harry can be there to comfort Sally.. I.." he pauses, " just lay down," he adds as he feels her shift. A sigh leaving her lips as she gives in, too tired to fight her head rests against his chest as she feels her head moving up and down with every breath he takes.
He squeezes her shoulder, letting his arm rest on the edge of the couch as his eyes remain on her for a few seconds. The way she's leaning against him, the way they're finally acting the way they were supposed to. "But you don't want to let those worlds collide, because you're afraid to risk anything." "Because we have everything." "No, Harvey. You have everything," he hears her words again and he smiles softly, maybe they would have everything after all, because she's his everything.
He turns to face the television again, his smile growing as he sees Harry give Sally a hug to calm her down. His words not so far off from what was happening on screen. Or so he thought, as he witnesses the two main leads exchange a small kiss. The way his breath falters for a moment giving away the shock of realization that has just hit him as she watches the scene turn towards what would become the game changer for the movie.
Her own eyes moving up wards as she tries to look at him, but the way his fingers stiffen on the armrest is enough for her to close her eyes, letting out a small sigh. Going over the options in her mind, should she get up or stay in this position. Glued against him. She lets out another breath, her mind made up as she places her hand on his chest just below her head to make her move up.
Her hand feels warm on his chest, burning his skin. Even through the two layers of clothing, her touch makes him realize of all the moments he's missed. All the moments they have missed. All the moments yet to come and his arm slides off the couch to her side, holding her in place as he whispers to her to stay.
She closes her eyes again, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she feels his hand moving down her side, holding her close. Her own hand covering his as she lets her head rest against his chest again. The way his thumb automatically caresses hers, combined with the way she feels his lips place a kiss on top her head making her realize that this might be the way he needs her. Just like she needs him.
Both of them remaining silent, both in words as in movements as they watch the rest of the movie. The way they're fighting, falling apart as neither of them knows how to deal with what happened that one night. The movie not far off from what could have happened twelve years ago. He watches both Sally and Harry spending their New Year's eve apart, both clearly miserable and he feels his lips curl up as he realizes how Donna prevented that from happening. He's sure both of them might have felt miserable at moments, but they did have each other. They always had each other.
[The scene moves back to the party. Some guy is telling Sally a joke. "Read the card," the guy laughs too, not really getting the joke and she turns to Marie. Sally: "I'm going home." Marie: "You'll never get a taxi." Sally turns to the joker and lets out a fake laugh again.]
"You do that," he mumbles then and she turns her head up a bit looking at him, her eyebrows pressed together in a frown. "What?" she whispers, not sure what he is referring to. "The fake laugh thing," he tells her. "No I don't," she counters. "You do," he nods, "you did it with Raoul from accounting at that fund raiser.. I saw you do it to Stephen," he mumbles and she shakes her head looking away, but her lips curl up. "That's better," he mumbles, "your real smile is beautiful," she shears him say and for the first time in forever she's one hundred percent certain that that compliment was meant for her.
She holds her breath a little anticipating the scene that's coming. A cough overcomes her again as she watches Harry run inside the building, looking for the woman he loves. He feels her shift under his embrace, his left hand brushing over her hair as he holds her close. Whispering that everything will be alright, completely missing how Harry confesses his love for the blonde. His focus only returning to the movie when the woman in his own arms stops coughing again.
[Harry: "Well how does it work?" Sally: "I don't know but not this way." Harry: "Well how about this way. I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because
it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible."]
He swallows, the words of Harry hitting him harder than the entire movie up until this point and he bites the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenching as he looks at her again. Their fingers still intertwined, her auburn lock still spread out over his white dress shirt. He knows that whatever it is that made them end up in this position is just the beginning of the steps to be taken. The steps he needs to take and he knows she's worth it. Worth taking that risk for, that one thing he never consciously wanted to do, but ended up doing a long time ago. Giving her his heart. He just doesn't know whether he's worthy of hers.
She feels his eyes burning her skin as she watches the movie end. [Sally : "We were friends for a long time."
Harry: "And then we weren't." Sally: "And then we fell in love, three months later we got married." Harry: "Yeah, it only took three months." Sally: "Twelve years and three months."] "Twelve years," she whispers to herself as she looks at him. Her gaze softening as she sees the smile on his lips, until it starts to face away. "What's wrong?" she mumbles.
"Nothing," he lies, his eyes avoiding hers, causing her to frown. "Harv," she whispers as she moves herself back up, her head crooked and a shiver running down her back as she instantly misses the warmth of his hand when he pulls his arm back. "Harv," she whispers again, this time resulting in him looking at her.
"I.." he swallows, pausing for a second as he lets his elbows lean on his knees, his head still crooked and turned towards her. "I don't think I'll ever have that," he confesses then, looking at the floor for a second time. She swallows, for the first time seeing the fear in his eyes. Not the fear of losing, but the fear of loving.
"What do you mean?" she whispers, she needs to hear him say it. She can't have him walk away, not again. "I.." he pauses his eyes still focussed on something in the near distance, "Donna.. this mess.. it's.. it's all my fault –"
"Harvey," she whispers interrupting him her fingers falling around his wrist. His eyes move to her red clad nails and his hand covers her. "I don't deserve to be happy… not like that," he mumbles his head nodding to the screen that still shows the last still of Harry and Sally on the couch, "… I'm not worth it," he sighs as he lifts her hand from his wrist.
"Harv," she whispers her fingers slipping from his grip. "Donna..I," he mumbles shaking his head as he lifts himself from the couch. A heavy sigh leaves her lips, he didn't even say the words this time, she realizes as she closes her eyes. Hearing his shoes move over her floor, she looks at him again. Her body leaning against the backrest of the couch where only minutes ago his arms had been.
"Did you know the original ending would be that they moved on?" she whispers, her words causing him to stop walking. Turning around to face her again, his head hanging low as he hears her voice once more. "You bailed out the second I wanted more." "That.. that after all, they didn't get together?" she continues, her own eyes tearing up as she bites her lip. "Isn't that… isn't that just wrong? .. I mean –"
"Donna," he interrupts her, her name leaving his lips in a sigh. His hands finding support on the backrest of the couch. One hand on either side of where she's sitting, his head still hanging low, but he looks up at her from under his eyelashes. She swallows, her eyes not leaving his. Not daring to say anything else.
"Have you.." he pauses finding the courage to pronounce the words to the question that has been bugging him for months now. Now more than ever. "Have you moved on?" he whispers looking away again. Not wanting to see the pity in her eyes, if she's going to tell him she has.
She sees him look away again and she swallows, letting her head nod slowly as she realizes that this is probably as far as he can get for now. As far as he allows himself to go when it comes to them and she lets out sigh knowing that once more she has to be his guide. His anchor, even if she desperately needed him to be that for her.
"No," she whispers her hand covering his as she waits for him to look at her again, "I haven't .. I don't …," she struggles with the words, "I can't move on," she pours it out then and she stares in his watery eyes, hearing him swallow. "Why not?" he mumbles, clearly trying to process everything. He never considered himself to be an option for her.
"Because…," she whispers as her right hand moves up over his arm at the same time she leans on her knees. Wiping away an un-shed tear over his cheek as she holds his face again, "… I think you're worth waiting for."
He nods, pressing his lips in a small smile and closing his eyes as he pulls her closer. His arms wrapping around her back, hugging her tightly. Her hands sliding from his cheeks to around his neck, letting his head rest on her shoulder. Her fingers playing with his hair, massaging his scalp and she feels him relax inside her embrace.
She turns her head a bit to the right then, letting the temple of her head rest against his head as she feels him turn towards her too. Their eyes locking as his right hand moves up until he cups her face, this time it's his thumb wiping away a tear, bringing her closer until his lips meet hers already parted. Breaths mingling like they once had over a decade ago.
He pulls back, the smile on his lips mirroring hers as he places a kiss on her temple before letting his head rest against her, both breathlessly smiling. "I love you," he whispers against her lips, causing her to smile. "I know," she mumbles kissing him again. "I. Love. You. Too."