Summary: With a big battle just coming around the corner, Bucky's mind is filled with possibilities. Yet one person can calm those nightmarish thoughts. Will he let her in?
Chapter 1: The Void
Bucky was sitting in the den of the base, unable to sleep. He laughed to himself, he couldn't remember a time he was able to sleep. Standing up, he walked over to the large window that stared out at the forest. It was quiet, almost too quiet. "You are awake again," a voice stated. Turning around, he saw Wanda Maximoff standing there wearing a pale blue silk robe covering the nightgown she had on underneath. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail.
"I don't sleep much," he answered.
"I know the feeling," she murmured.
"Do you?" he asked, not quite believing her.
Wanda moved her hand over the back of the couch. "My brother and I…we used to share the same room until Von Strucker started testing on us. Those were the hardest three years of my life, the room was cold, the bed was too small," she explained softly. Bucky frowned as he watched as she was tracing designs in the air with her magic. "Then after we got out, we slept in the same room again, sometimes in the same bed. Was warmer, I felt safer as long as Pietro was there," she explained.
Wanda swallowed against the lump in her throat. "Now that he's gone…I have never felt so alone," she added. Bucky frowned as he leaned against the counter.
"I understand what it's like to be alone," he answered.
Wanda looked over at him. "When you're nothing but a killer, you don't make a lot of friends being the human weapon," he told her. He pressed his fist against the table, closing his eyes. "I didn't even know my best friend when I saw him again 70 years later," he added, "I still don't know him. We've changed, we have both changed." Wanda looked over at him with a frown. She slowly made her way over to him, her hand resting on his shoulder.
"I remember you," Wanda said suddenly, making him look over at her.
"How?" he asked.
"When Pietro and I were first brought to their base. You were done with a mission in Sokovia for them," she answered.
Wanda walked with Von Strucker through the halls. Pietro held onto his sister's hand as he pulled her behind him a little protectively. Bucky looked over at her. "You have no reason to fear me, you're the only person who can say that," he told her coldly before making his way through the halls.
Bucky looked at her. "I remember you now," he answered, "Your brother was very…protective of you."
"He was the only family I had," she pointed out.
He nodded his head slowly. "You were beautiful then, a little arrogant and naïve but beautiful," he commented. Wanda leaned against the counter.
"And what about now?" she asked.
Bucky walked over, resting his hand on the counter by her hand while his mechanical arm hung at his side. "I see a woman who is trying to find something to fill the void that your brother once lived in," he told her. Wanda swallowed hard.
"Can you?" she asked, "Can you fill that void?"
"I can't be your brother, Wanda," he answered, "You shouldn't count on me for anything."
"Why?" she asked.
"I am broken, a shell of a human," he answered.
"As am I," she whispered.
"I am a monster," he answered.
Wanda rested her hands on his face, her thumbs moving along his cheekbones. Her fingers trailed along his jawline. "You are not a monster, James," she said softly. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, no one ever called him by his first name. He closed his eyes, backing up from her.
"You need to get some rest, from my understanding Steve is waking the new recruits in the morning for training," he stated then he left the room.
Wanda sat on the counter, watching him leave with a frown.
The next morning, Wanda was trying to concentrate on harnessing her powers. Yet she couldn't concentrate, she was continuously distracted. "You're far away, where are you?" Clint quipped as he walked up. Wanda swung around with a smile.
"Clint!" she said happily, embracing her friend.
Clint smiled as he hugged her back, lifting her up and swung her around. "I have missed you," Wanda told him.
"So did I, hence why I'm here," he answered.
"How is Natasha?" she asked.
"She's doing alright, now that we're outnumbered in the house," he answered, "Lily is in that pre-teen stage so she's wanting to wear Natasha's makeup now."
Wanda smiled a little. "Hey, you look like you're off in another world what's going on?" he asked, his arm moving around her shoulders. Wanda shrugged a little. "Come on, talk to me, have another nightmare about Pietro?" he asked.
"No, I haven't had a nightmare in a long time," she replied.
"What's going on?" he asked.
Wanda looked over to see Bucky and Steve walking around outside on the property. Clint followed her line of sight. "Ah, I see," he said slowly.
"I can understand him," she answered, "I feel like I'm the only one who can."
"Keep in mind, he has been forced to kill innocent people for the last 70 years. He nearly killed Natasha twice," he pointed out, "The second time she was six weeks pregnant with Nikolai."
"You forgive him for it?" Wanda asked.
Clint was silent for a second. "We both have, because there was a time Natasha was that way," he answered, "She killed hundreds of people without a second thought. I was sent to kill her myself." Wanda stopped and stared out the window. "Her first week with SHIELD, when I tried to talk to her. She damn near dislocated my jaw," he added.
"Did you love her then?" she asked, "Were you in love with Natasha when you first brought her to SHIELD?"
Clint sat down on a bench. "I wouldn't have risked my life or my job if I didn't," he answered. He shrugged his shoulders. "The council wanted me tried for treason," he added. Clint laughed a little. "Fury put the kibosh on that really quick, my record of the work I had done for SHIELD is what kept me out of a Federal prison," he commented.
Wanda stared at Bucky when he looked at her, she just stared right into his eyes but he turned his head away. "Wanda, I know you can't help who you fall for, but people like you and me we're the ones who end up getting easily hurt," Clint told her.
"If he would let me in, it would be worth it. I can't read his mind…" she answered.
Clint walked over to her, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Patience, Wanda, if you truly care about the man you will wait, I had to wait," Clint pointed out. Wanda turned around and hugged him tightly. Clint hugged her back, rubbing her back gently.